Monty: Well I bet none of you ever thought we could make another one.
Alex: Bizatch!
Monty: But yet here we are, with Chapter 5: And you thought the Terran were weird.
Alex: Pie is good.
Monty: So here we are with a super Parody chapter. This one is longer, funnier and will make you crap your pants!
Alex: It takes about 1,973 licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop!
Monty: That's right Alex, LETS SHOW THEM WHAT WE CAN DO!
Alex: I'm kinda like Jesus but not in a sacrilegious way! ______________________________________
(We start out in a dark area, and then we come out, feeling odd and lifeless. Then you realize that you were born, with intelligence far beyond that of a cheese sandwich. You see a figure with one eye in front of you. He begins to talk.)
Overmind: Awaken my child, and embrace the glory that is your birthright. Know that I am the Overmind, supreme ruler of the... *pulls out inhaler. Takes whiff* Okay, I'm sorry; I can't act like this anymore.
Cerebrate: ...
Overmind: Listen, you are a Cerebrate that I just created. You and the *snort* others like you are in charge of managing my kitchen sink... I mean... Swarm.
Cerebrate: Dude, WTF is up with your eye?
Overmind: *Puts on glasses and headgear* *Talks in spitty voice* you slee... I have a major problem wish my voish *spits everywhere*
Cerebrate: What the F*** did you just say?
Overmind: Look, all I want to do take over the univshe. Is that really so mush to asx?
Cerebrate: *Playing X-Box* What?
Overmind: *Picking at nasal cavities* What?
Cerebrate: *Sniping Whales* What?
(This goes on for about an hour...)
Overmind: Oh, that. Wesh, I asked you to take control of my broojsh, and help to conquer the universh!
Cerebrate: Okay that sounds cool. I'll see ya later *Farts on cat on way out* Oh that was a wet one!.
Overmind: ... *Looks at Cat* Sorry Mr. Tinkleton, Cerebrates have gas when their first made ... or are horny...
Mr. Tinkleton: *In Cat language* Oh that's alright... bitch...
Overmind: *Sucks inhaler*
-- Go to the Cerebrate's base on Tarsonis --
Daggoth: Hello there, I am Daggoth.
Cerebrate: Hey what's up?
Daggoth: I just came to warn you about Zazz, he can be a real asshole. Unlike me, I am the Overmind's top agent.
Cerebrate: ... Um, thanks for the warning. It's nice to kn...
Zazz: Yo, muh HOMIE! What's shaken G?
Daggoth: Too late...
Cerebrate: Yo mama!
Zazz: Yeah she's one fine biza... What the F***?!
Cerebrate: Nothing...
Zazz: Anyway, it's time to start the colony.
Drone: (French accent) Aw, ze hatcheree has been created an, zher has been ozer sings zat, vill help vith your own base creation no? Vell now I have to mutate into ze cleep colony k'? *Explodes into something like your mother-in-law's cooking, and soon becomes a creep colony*
Cerebrate: Does everyone do this?
Zazz: Yo, homie they do ya BIATCH! *bites off toe nails*
Cerebrate: Just start the damn colonies! *eats toast*
Zazz: Okay, okay.
(After a few hours of drones turning into tuna casseroles, and buildings, watching DVD's and getting constipated, the colony expands)
Overmind: Yes, my reign of terror has begun. *Masturbates*
(YES! Zerg creatures can do that!)
Cerebrate: Yeah um, who runs the Hatchery?
Zazz: My bitches, yo.
(All of a sudden, millions of larva hop out of the hatcheries, while a scream comes from inside)
Cerebrate: I see.
Larva: U can't touch this! *dance to the M C Hammer song*
Cerebrate: WTF?
Zazz: *listening to MP3* There's got to be a morning after!
Cerebrate: ... Dude, WTF are you singing?!
Zazz: Yo homie G, I'm not all tuff and s***. I've got a soft gangsta side to myself too!
Hatchery: Fo shizzle my nizzle boo!
Zazz: Shut up bitch!
Hatchery: Skank.
Zazz: Asshole!
Hatchery: Dirk!
Zazz: That turns my on *gets horny* *Gasses up*
Hatchery: Come here babe!
(Zazz and the Hatchery start to make out, until the surrounding Zerglings get killed from Zazz's gas)
Zerglings: OOOWWWIIIEEESSS!!!
-- Break! --
Monty: Alex and I would like to make a small break to allow people to stop laughing so hard [You are, aren't you!?]
Alex: Yeah, I want to ... ahh I'm too pisst to take a break!
Monty: What's making you so angry Alex?
Alex: I can't see my forehead.
Monty: ... WTF does that have to do with anything!?!?!?
Alex: I'unno, internet?
Monty: Riiiiiiiight..
Alex: I WANT FAN MAIL!!!
Monty: Yeah. REVIEW THIS FIC OR WILL SEND ZAZZ TO YOUR HOUSE WITH A PLAYBOY MAG!
-- We now return you to your feature presentation --
Overmind: Oh my godsh! The horny Zazz and the hatchery just made a friggin chryshalish. *Break dances*
Cerebrate: *holding plastic bag* hey, I think that the drone over here just laid a crap in the shape of Saddam's head!
Other Hatchery: Hey Zazz, I'm horny! I want Zerglings NOW!!!
Zazz: Whoa, that is Saddam's head!
Other Hatchery: Come on!
Zazz: How do you think it does that?
Other Hatchery: Zaaaaazz?
Zazz: Look at me! I broke the Frogger high score! *Hosts party*
Crowd: YAY. *Cheers*
Other Hatchery: Zazz, ya pimp I'm god damn horny!!!
Zazz: Oh okay, *unzips fly*
Other Hatchery: Oh, I'm not any more.
Zazz: @#^%$#^*(*(^!!!*zips up fly* AWWW that hurt...
Overmind & Cerebrate: ...
Overmind: *Zazz and the hatchery argue in the background* Welsh, anyways *lamps breaking noise* That chryshalish has a bery powerful being inshlide. *Screaming and arguing sounds * I need you to make shlur that no one hurtshs her *Car alarm*.
Cerebrate: Don't worry boss *weird smell* , I'll make sure to take good care of her *wink* *Zazz and the hatchery get down* you don't have to worry a little bit *nuclear attack*
(Two hours later, at the Cerebrates poker game)
Cerebrate: Alright gentlemen, and hideous beasts... Oh, I guess that applies to everyone!
Everyone: ... *shotgun cocking noises*
Cerebrate: ... Uh... Heh...Heh... Heh... I've got here a priceless chrysalis, worth more than anything. LETS PLAY! ANTI UP! *Smashes beer can against forehead*
Defiler: Man, I gotta crap! *gas cloud appears out of ass*
Hydralisk: Ay comrade that stinks like constipated weasel.
Cerebrate: Word! *Flashes gang-sign* *does can-can with Hydralisks*
Hydralisk: DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DDDDDAAAA!!!!!!
(The Overmind walks in with cat food)
Overmind: *Facing other direction* Hey guys, I'm back with th...*turns around* ...ARE YOU GAMBLING MY CRYSALIS!!!?!?!?!?!?
Cerebrate: uh... I was taking back the chrysalis from these...uh...ASSHOLES!!!!!
Supposed "Assholes": WHAT!?!?!?!?
Overmind: *sucks inhaler* Yah!!! *Hits Zergling on head with mallet*
Zergling: Woop, woop, woop, woop!
Hydralisk: Why you chowdahead!
Cerebrate: *Puts hand between eyes* Ah, no one can hurt me now ^_^
Zergling: Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!
Lurker: Why you! *slaps him*
(Ah the three stooges, they are so funny)
(Well, the Overmind kills them all with a tuna sandwich and then gives the Cerebrate a "high five" for the effort)
Cerebrate: Good, the chrysalis is safe now *Man, he would have lost, I HAD A FLUSH*
-- Go to a meeting hall of Cerebrates --
Overmind: *No headgear* You have fought well young Cerebrate. You are now ready to travel back to our home world on Char.
Daggoth: Yes, but there is a GOD DAMMED PROTOSS FLEET BLOCKING OUR WAY!
Cerebrate: The bastards *Looks mean* We must kill them all *Finds a penny* oooowwww, find a penny, pick it up and all the day you'll have good luck! ^_^
Others: ...
Zazz: Yes, we gonna take them down *crosses arms* OLD SCHOOL!
Cerebrate: ... And I want a pony, and a girlfriend, and a monkey, and a friend for the monkey, and a...
Overmind: SHUT UP YOU STUPID IDIOTIC FLATCHULENT BOOGER CAT-FARTING-ON ASSHOLE!!!! *Hyperventilates**Falls over*
Daggoth: *Investigates* He needs mouth to mouth or he'll die!
(All of the Cerebrates take one HUGE step back at once)
Cerebrate: Wait, there has to be a better way! *Thinks for a moment* I've got it! *Grabs Cat*
Cerebrate: *Hits Overmind with cat* Stop *Hits Overmind with cat* hyper *Hits Overmind with cat* ventilating *Hits Overmind with cat*
Overmind: *cured* Ah, thank you, I am very grateful... *Gets hit in head with Cat*
Cerebrate: STOP HYPERVENTILATING!
Overmind: *Deep stare into Cerebrate* ... Anyways... Use a drone to bring the chrysalis to the warp point. We'll leave then.
-- The level begins -
Daggoth: In case you ever need then Cerebrate, which you will, you can use my broods. These special people know that Protoss' weakness.
Cerebrate: Okay man, thanks for your help. Now, what to do... Oh, I know!
(Five minutes later at some bar...)
Singing Drunks: OH DANNY BOY!!!!!!
Cerebrate: HHHEEEEE HHHHEEEE YEEEAAAHHH!!!!
-- Return to present -
Cerebrate: Na... That's a terrible idea...
-- BREAK --
Monty: ALRIGHT GUYS!!! I HEAR THAT THIS ONE DUDE LIKES ALEX BETTER!!!!
Alex: That's because I am...
Monty: SHUT UP ALE...
(Random donkey appears)
Alex: *Shoots up donkey's ass causing a stampede on Monty* I warned you man...
Monty: *Recuperates*
Monty: Sorry Alex, I just get pissed when ASSHOLES THINK YOUR BETTER THAN ME!!!!
Alex: We've gone through this...
Monty: Sorry...
Alex: Sorry what...
Monty: Sorry sir... Alex: That's right slave monkey. NOW TAKE A NAP!!!
Monty: BUT I'M NOT TIRED!!! *throws fecies*
Audience: Wow, things smell like fecies...
More Audience: Wow, Monkey fecies...
Monty: Can I at least tell my storwy before nappy twime?
Alex: Alright...*Watches new Christina Aguilera video* but don't take TOO long *grabs tissue paper and Vaseline*
Monty: This is something that just came to me one day. I don't know how or why, but I'm just gonna go with it.
Okay, Ed, Edd and Eddy were ruining their civilization, so the people sent them to this new planet. The ship they were on was on autopilot as to not make a pilot have to live with them. This new planet was going to force feed the Edds mushrooms for the rest of their lives.
One day in space, they were hit by a space polar bear the size f a walnut. This caused them to crash on a random planet.
In order to survive, the Edds had to eat a plant that looked like Chere (I don't know how to spell her name) giving head to a walrus with three nipples and a car he named aichee wawa.
This vegetation caused the Edds to mutate together and turn into Rocky and Bullwinkle, only three times as big, acts like South Park and are both transsexuals.
They gave birth to four blue ninja monkeys that cannot do anything, not even breath unless they jump like Mario from the Mario brothers games. These monkeys travel around the world to scrape mildew off of giant turtles with herpes and like chitty chitty bang bang.
The monkeys worst enemy is a giant turd named peanut head. Peanut head only wants the Earth to smell like crap to allow him to live. With this change of environment, these pig-rats with eyes like a fly can't live.
So these pig-rats shoot this stuff out of their butt to change the environment so they can live. But it causes the planet to look like Don Knotts.
I know, WTF!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!???????????. This just came to me today...
Alex: Took you long enough...What now?
Monty: *under breath* I prepare for your demise... MWAHAHAHHAHAAHHAAHHAH!!!
Alex: What was that?
Monty: Oh nothing... I was just uh... preparing for your demise...
Alex: Well don't make too much noise, Oprah is on.
Monty: Kay...
(... Hey don't look at me, I do the parentheses stuff. God, these guys are total dumb asses...)
-- End break --
Alex: Bizatch!
Monty: But yet here we are, with Chapter 5: And you thought the Terran were weird.
Alex: Pie is good.
Monty: So here we are with a super Parody chapter. This one is longer, funnier and will make you crap your pants!
Alex: It takes about 1,973 licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop!
Monty: That's right Alex, LETS SHOW THEM WHAT WE CAN DO!
Alex: I'm kinda like Jesus but not in a sacrilegious way! ______________________________________
(We start out in a dark area, and then we come out, feeling odd and lifeless. Then you realize that you were born, with intelligence far beyond that of a cheese sandwich. You see a figure with one eye in front of you. He begins to talk.)
Overmind: Awaken my child, and embrace the glory that is your birthright. Know that I am the Overmind, supreme ruler of the... *pulls out inhaler. Takes whiff* Okay, I'm sorry; I can't act like this anymore.
Cerebrate: ...
Overmind: Listen, you are a Cerebrate that I just created. You and the *snort* others like you are in charge of managing my kitchen sink... I mean... Swarm.
Cerebrate: Dude, WTF is up with your eye?
Overmind: *Puts on glasses and headgear* *Talks in spitty voice* you slee... I have a major problem wish my voish *spits everywhere*
Cerebrate: What the F*** did you just say?
Overmind: Look, all I want to do take over the univshe. Is that really so mush to asx?
Cerebrate: *Playing X-Box* What?
Overmind: *Picking at nasal cavities* What?
Cerebrate: *Sniping Whales* What?
(This goes on for about an hour...)
Overmind: Oh, that. Wesh, I asked you to take control of my broojsh, and help to conquer the universh!
Cerebrate: Okay that sounds cool. I'll see ya later *Farts on cat on way out* Oh that was a wet one!.
Overmind: ... *Looks at Cat* Sorry Mr. Tinkleton, Cerebrates have gas when their first made ... or are horny...
Mr. Tinkleton: *In Cat language* Oh that's alright... bitch...
Overmind: *Sucks inhaler*
-- Go to the Cerebrate's base on Tarsonis --
Daggoth: Hello there, I am Daggoth.
Cerebrate: Hey what's up?
Daggoth: I just came to warn you about Zazz, he can be a real asshole. Unlike me, I am the Overmind's top agent.
Cerebrate: ... Um, thanks for the warning. It's nice to kn...
Zazz: Yo, muh HOMIE! What's shaken G?
Daggoth: Too late...
Cerebrate: Yo mama!
Zazz: Yeah she's one fine biza... What the F***?!
Cerebrate: Nothing...
Zazz: Anyway, it's time to start the colony.
Drone: (French accent) Aw, ze hatcheree has been created an, zher has been ozer sings zat, vill help vith your own base creation no? Vell now I have to mutate into ze cleep colony k'? *Explodes into something like your mother-in-law's cooking, and soon becomes a creep colony*
Cerebrate: Does everyone do this?
Zazz: Yo, homie they do ya BIATCH! *bites off toe nails*
Cerebrate: Just start the damn colonies! *eats toast*
Zazz: Okay, okay.
(After a few hours of drones turning into tuna casseroles, and buildings, watching DVD's and getting constipated, the colony expands)
Overmind: Yes, my reign of terror has begun. *Masturbates*
(YES! Zerg creatures can do that!)
Cerebrate: Yeah um, who runs the Hatchery?
Zazz: My bitches, yo.
(All of a sudden, millions of larva hop out of the hatcheries, while a scream comes from inside)
Cerebrate: I see.
Larva: U can't touch this! *dance to the M C Hammer song*
Cerebrate: WTF?
Zazz: *listening to MP3* There's got to be a morning after!
Cerebrate: ... Dude, WTF are you singing?!
Zazz: Yo homie G, I'm not all tuff and s***. I've got a soft gangsta side to myself too!
Hatchery: Fo shizzle my nizzle boo!
Zazz: Shut up bitch!
Hatchery: Skank.
Zazz: Asshole!
Hatchery: Dirk!
Zazz: That turns my on *gets horny* *Gasses up*
Hatchery: Come here babe!
(Zazz and the Hatchery start to make out, until the surrounding Zerglings get killed from Zazz's gas)
Zerglings: OOOWWWIIIEEESSS!!!
-- Break! --
Monty: Alex and I would like to make a small break to allow people to stop laughing so hard [You are, aren't you!?]
Alex: Yeah, I want to ... ahh I'm too pisst to take a break!
Monty: What's making you so angry Alex?
Alex: I can't see my forehead.
Monty: ... WTF does that have to do with anything!?!?!?
Alex: I'unno, internet?
Monty: Riiiiiiiight..
Alex: I WANT FAN MAIL!!!
Monty: Yeah. REVIEW THIS FIC OR WILL SEND ZAZZ TO YOUR HOUSE WITH A PLAYBOY MAG!
-- We now return you to your feature presentation --
Overmind: Oh my godsh! The horny Zazz and the hatchery just made a friggin chryshalish. *Break dances*
Cerebrate: *holding plastic bag* hey, I think that the drone over here just laid a crap in the shape of Saddam's head!
Other Hatchery: Hey Zazz, I'm horny! I want Zerglings NOW!!!
Zazz: Whoa, that is Saddam's head!
Other Hatchery: Come on!
Zazz: How do you think it does that?
Other Hatchery: Zaaaaazz?
Zazz: Look at me! I broke the Frogger high score! *Hosts party*
Crowd: YAY. *Cheers*
Other Hatchery: Zazz, ya pimp I'm god damn horny!!!
Zazz: Oh okay, *unzips fly*
Other Hatchery: Oh, I'm not any more.
Zazz: @#^%$#^*(*(^!!!*zips up fly* AWWW that hurt...
Overmind & Cerebrate: ...
Overmind: *Zazz and the hatchery argue in the background* Welsh, anyways *lamps breaking noise* That chryshalish has a bery powerful being inshlide. *Screaming and arguing sounds * I need you to make shlur that no one hurtshs her *Car alarm*.
Cerebrate: Don't worry boss *weird smell* , I'll make sure to take good care of her *wink* *Zazz and the hatchery get down* you don't have to worry a little bit *nuclear attack*
(Two hours later, at the Cerebrates poker game)
Cerebrate: Alright gentlemen, and hideous beasts... Oh, I guess that applies to everyone!
Everyone: ... *shotgun cocking noises*
Cerebrate: ... Uh... Heh...Heh... Heh... I've got here a priceless chrysalis, worth more than anything. LETS PLAY! ANTI UP! *Smashes beer can against forehead*
Defiler: Man, I gotta crap! *gas cloud appears out of ass*
Hydralisk: Ay comrade that stinks like constipated weasel.
Cerebrate: Word! *Flashes gang-sign* *does can-can with Hydralisks*
Hydralisk: DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DDDDDAAAA!!!!!!
(The Overmind walks in with cat food)
Overmind: *Facing other direction* Hey guys, I'm back with th...*turns around* ...ARE YOU GAMBLING MY CRYSALIS!!!?!?!?!?!?
Cerebrate: uh... I was taking back the chrysalis from these...uh...ASSHOLES!!!!!
Supposed "Assholes": WHAT!?!?!?!?
Overmind: *sucks inhaler* Yah!!! *Hits Zergling on head with mallet*
Zergling: Woop, woop, woop, woop!
Hydralisk: Why you chowdahead!
Cerebrate: *Puts hand between eyes* Ah, no one can hurt me now ^_^
Zergling: Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!
Lurker: Why you! *slaps him*
(Ah the three stooges, they are so funny)
(Well, the Overmind kills them all with a tuna sandwich and then gives the Cerebrate a "high five" for the effort)
Cerebrate: Good, the chrysalis is safe now *Man, he would have lost, I HAD A FLUSH*
-- Go to a meeting hall of Cerebrates --
Overmind: *No headgear* You have fought well young Cerebrate. You are now ready to travel back to our home world on Char.
Daggoth: Yes, but there is a GOD DAMMED PROTOSS FLEET BLOCKING OUR WAY!
Cerebrate: The bastards *Looks mean* We must kill them all *Finds a penny* oooowwww, find a penny, pick it up and all the day you'll have good luck! ^_^
Others: ...
Zazz: Yes, we gonna take them down *crosses arms* OLD SCHOOL!
Cerebrate: ... And I want a pony, and a girlfriend, and a monkey, and a friend for the monkey, and a...
Overmind: SHUT UP YOU STUPID IDIOTIC FLATCHULENT BOOGER CAT-FARTING-ON ASSHOLE!!!! *Hyperventilates**Falls over*
Daggoth: *Investigates* He needs mouth to mouth or he'll die!
(All of the Cerebrates take one HUGE step back at once)
Cerebrate: Wait, there has to be a better way! *Thinks for a moment* I've got it! *Grabs Cat*
Cerebrate: *Hits Overmind with cat* Stop *Hits Overmind with cat* hyper *Hits Overmind with cat* ventilating *Hits Overmind with cat*
Overmind: *cured* Ah, thank you, I am very grateful... *Gets hit in head with Cat*
Cerebrate: STOP HYPERVENTILATING!
Overmind: *Deep stare into Cerebrate* ... Anyways... Use a drone to bring the chrysalis to the warp point. We'll leave then.
-- The level begins -
Daggoth: In case you ever need then Cerebrate, which you will, you can use my broods. These special people know that Protoss' weakness.
Cerebrate: Okay man, thanks for your help. Now, what to do... Oh, I know!
(Five minutes later at some bar...)
Singing Drunks: OH DANNY BOY!!!!!!
Cerebrate: HHHEEEEE HHHHEEEE YEEEAAAHHH!!!!
-- Return to present -
Cerebrate: Na... That's a terrible idea...
-- BREAK --
Monty: ALRIGHT GUYS!!! I HEAR THAT THIS ONE DUDE LIKES ALEX BETTER!!!!
Alex: That's because I am...
Monty: SHUT UP ALE...
(Random donkey appears)
Alex: *Shoots up donkey's ass causing a stampede on Monty* I warned you man...
Monty: *Recuperates*
Monty: Sorry Alex, I just get pissed when ASSHOLES THINK YOUR BETTER THAN ME!!!!
Alex: We've gone through this...
Monty: Sorry...
Alex: Sorry what...
Monty: Sorry sir... Alex: That's right slave monkey. NOW TAKE A NAP!!!
Monty: BUT I'M NOT TIRED!!! *throws fecies*
Audience: Wow, things smell like fecies...
More Audience: Wow, Monkey fecies...
Monty: Can I at least tell my storwy before nappy twime?
Alex: Alright...*Watches new Christina Aguilera video* but don't take TOO long *grabs tissue paper and Vaseline*
Monty: This is something that just came to me one day. I don't know how or why, but I'm just gonna go with it.
Okay, Ed, Edd and Eddy were ruining their civilization, so the people sent them to this new planet. The ship they were on was on autopilot as to not make a pilot have to live with them. This new planet was going to force feed the Edds mushrooms for the rest of their lives.
One day in space, they were hit by a space polar bear the size f a walnut. This caused them to crash on a random planet.
In order to survive, the Edds had to eat a plant that looked like Chere (I don't know how to spell her name) giving head to a walrus with three nipples and a car he named aichee wawa.
This vegetation caused the Edds to mutate together and turn into Rocky and Bullwinkle, only three times as big, acts like South Park and are both transsexuals.
They gave birth to four blue ninja monkeys that cannot do anything, not even breath unless they jump like Mario from the Mario brothers games. These monkeys travel around the world to scrape mildew off of giant turtles with herpes and like chitty chitty bang bang.
The monkeys worst enemy is a giant turd named peanut head. Peanut head only wants the Earth to smell like crap to allow him to live. With this change of environment, these pig-rats with eyes like a fly can't live.
So these pig-rats shoot this stuff out of their butt to change the environment so they can live. But it causes the planet to look like Don Knotts.
I know, WTF!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!???????????. This just came to me today...
Alex: Took you long enough...What now?
Monty: *under breath* I prepare for your demise... MWAHAHAHHAHAAHHAAHHAH!!!
Alex: What was that?
Monty: Oh nothing... I was just uh... preparing for your demise...
Alex: Well don't make too much noise, Oprah is on.
Monty: Kay...
(... Hey don't look at me, I do the parentheses stuff. God, these guys are total dumb asses...)
-- End break --