AN: Yet another randomly begun fic. Probably a SxS of some sort, although shaky plot as yet...
Disclaimers: ff8 characters are © Squaresoft, original characters (if there are any) are © me :)
Warnings: Angst, language, and rating may increase depending on what plot I end up with ;p
---SQUALL---
I don't know where we're going, if in fact we're going anywhere. So far all I've seen is desert and more desert. It brings back painful memories of time compression, except I'm not alone. Not really. Seifer is with me, but quiet enough to let all my thoughts slosh around without hindrance. Is that a good thing?
I'm exhausted, and Seifer doesn't look too much better, although he's hiding it well. I haven't eaten for days already, and the last time I drank was a cup of coffee at about 2 this morning. Oh yeah, did I mention I haven't slept for about three days?
Still, I can keep up with Seifer. Wherever we're going. Whatever he's planning. Sure, I can tell something's going on in that blond head of his. Not what – I'm not a mind reader, exactly – but he's got something planned that he thinks he might regret. I stifle a grin. It amused me all through Garden and becoming a SeeD. Seifer could always figure out what I was thinking, but he never knew the reverse was true.
I stumble, regaining my footing and balance in time to see the blond flinch. Seifer, worried about me? My eyes narrow. The only reason Seifer could possibly be worried about me is if I fade out on him before whatever he's got planned. I'm not going to jump to any other, unfounded, conclusions, no matter how quick some part of my mind was to do so. From what I know of Seifer – and I consider myself to know a lot about him – there is only one conclusion, and that is the logical one. He wants me to survive long enough for whatever he's doing. After that? I'm probably disposable.
Hyne, it's not like I can even summon up the energy to care any more. If it wasn't for my apathy, I'd probably have offed myself already. Like Rinoa and Quistis and the others would even give a fuck... OK, so maybe they would, they'd want to know why, want to know what was hurting so bad that there was only one way out. But I couldn't tell them, for their own sakes. I mean, how do you tell all your 'friends' that they're the burden breaking your back? I shouldn't have let everyone bully me into staying commander. I should've handed Cid my resignation and walked away. Times like these I envy Seifer. He got away from the machine, made his own life. OK, so he fucked up with Ultemecia, but he survived, and from the few reports that have filtered back, he's made his peace with the world – even if it hasn't made peace with him – and now he's getting on with life.
Quite where I come into it, I'm not sure. I'm not even sure if I care enough to ask. Hell! If Seifer wants one last fight to prove who's better once and for all, he can win. I don't care. Let him be the best. Let him take all the responsibility that comes with the title. I don't want it any more. The wreaths placed around my neck are made of cast iron, dragging me down and choking the breath in my throat.
"We're here." Seifer suddenly announces. I look around. Desert in all directions. We're where? I wonder. It looks like the centre of the Desert from where I'm standing.
---SEIFER---
I cringe slightly when I hear him stumble, but I manage not to turn round. He has to be suspicious as hell already – it's not like this is an everyday occurrence. I'm surprised he hasn't demanded to know what's going on already, but then, he always did have more patience than I expected.
It's funny in a sense, although really it's not. Somewhere along the line me and Squall seem to have swapped personalities. I guess it stems back to when Ellone vanished. Squall was devastated. I mean, his life was completely destroyed, his confidence and self-esteem scattered to the wind. Ellone had been the one constant in his life, and suddenly, boom! She's gone. Just like that. No explanation, no goodbyes. Not even a warning.
Sure, the rest of us were surprised that she'd gone, but... We'd all been at the orphanage longer than Squall. We all knew other kids that had been there had vanished in the same way. Matron told us they'd found new family and we should be happy for them. Mostly we were jealous, but we were one big family, we didn't really want anything to change.
"We're here." I announce, my thoughts still running on auto-pilot as Squall looks around. It was kinda a shock when Squall suddenly just cut himself off from us all, even Matron. I can see him searching for anything to make this piece of desert different to the rest. His body language screams 'what the fuck are we doing here' at me.
My lip curls. No one remembers except me, but Squall uses the foulest language when he's really pissed off. Like the fight in the training centre. I was kinda glad there were no witnesses to that – I mean, Squall's language could've seriously warped some of the younger SeeDs minds, never mind the cadets and junior classmen. Somehow I doubt anything's changed that.
"And here is...?" He asks sarcastically. His expression screams the original message at me loud and clear. 'Why the fuck have you dragged me all the bloody way out to the fucking middle of nowhere, you moronic cunt?' I shrug lazily. I know exactly how to push the buttons to break down those icy walls.
"The heart of the Kashkabald desert." I see him mutter something under his breath, but I don't quite catch it – something uncomplimentary no doubt.
"And why am I here?" He continues after a few moments. He's starting to lose it, and he knows it. I see panic in his eyes. I smirk and give him my best, sweetest 'because you followed me' expression.
"Because you were paid to come." He physically steps back. That was a low blow, and I hate myself for it, but then, I want to get this over with. If I have to kill him, I'd rather do it now, before I get too involved, before I convince myself that this can be worked out peacefully. It can't. Squall's repressed his emotions for too long, when the dam breaks, all it can release is a massive tsunami. And all I can do is try and stop him from hurting anyone, including himself, in the process.
"What do you want Seifer?" My heart leaps, but I squash it ruthlessly. Just because, once, he called me Seifer instead of Almasy, it doesn't mean anything. It can't mean anything. Because if it does, I won't be able to do what I might have to... I pray it doesn't mean anything, convince myself. After all, if he survives this, if we both survive this, then I'll still have a chance to find out...
AN: I don't see Squall as being the sort just to do stuff for the money. Just cause he's been told to, yeah, but I think he hides behind the money as an excuse to help people, cause if they think he's a cold-hearted bastard then they won't try and give him stuff back and make him open up. imo anyway. I also think he'd swear a lot – mainly cause it seems to be the quiet ones that do (I should know – I am one :p)