AN: Yet another randomly begun fic. SxS - with plot! *** encloses memories/flashbacks :)
Disclaimers: ff8 characters are © Squaresoft
Warnings: Angst, language and SxS
After the orphanage fades from view I find myself back in the darkness. Briefly I wonder how Ultemecia intends to deal with Edea, but on second thoughts I decide that maybe I don't want to know. Besides, I have to get back to the right time from here. But at least this time I know I'm not alone...
"Selphie!?" I wait, expecting a joyous response, but there is only silence and the faint echo of my own call. "Quistis!? Zell!? Irvine!?" Still nothing except the mocking echoes of my shouting. "Rinoa?" I ask, hope fading with every moment of silence. Sure enough, there is no reply. Am I alone, again? I can't make it out alone...
Then, as though a dam burst in my mind, my memories come flooding back. I remember everything my younger self saw and heard at the orphanage that day when I went hunting for sis...
***
"I'm gonna find sis..."
"Squall!" I run, not from the voice, but towards the flower field. Sis always loved the flowers, maybe she got lost? The flower field is sooo big, it seems to take up the whole world. I skid to a halt when I see someone standing looking over the flower field. They have wings, matron said that angels have wings...
"'Scuse me!" I wait for the person to turn, wanting to touch the feathers that look so soft. But they might not like it if I did, so I wait. The person turns and I can see it's a person like matron. I trust them. Maybe they know where sis is? Don't angels know everything?
"Are you an angel?" The person laughs and I frown. I don't like people laughing at me, only, I don't think they're really laughing at me. My face relaxes and I grin back. "Do you know where sis is? I'm all alone 'cause she's gone away."
"No, but how 'bout I help you stop being all alone?" I take the response to mean that the person is going to help me find sis and nod eagerly, not protesting when they pick me up. I can't wait to see the look on Seifer's face when I tell him I was carried by an angel!
***
So that was how Ultemecia ended up carrying my child self back to where I was talking to Edea. I snigger. To think that I thought she was an angel! How much further from the truth could I have got? But what intrigues me most is what Ultemecia said to my child self after I returned here...
***
"I know this won't make any sense now, but it will when the time comes. When I was in time compression I got separated from the others, and ended up here, as you have just done. When I got back I realised that all the others were there for me, and I shouted their names. But they had already gotten out, and there was no response. There was only one name I didn't call. He's waiting for you, just as trapped as you are, just as alone. Call him, he'll answer. Trust me, don't give up on him, call Seifer..."
***
"Seifer..." I find my lips whispering the word even as I remember Ultemecia's instructions. "Seifer?" The cold silence of time compression answers me. "Seifer!?" Even to my own ears my voice has taken on a desperate note. "SEIFER!?" I scream the name in desperation, head thrown backwards, tears already starting to run down my face as I sink to my knees. His face is so clear in my mind. I can see every strand of the platinum blond hair that he wears in a short, controlled cut, right down to the two strands that flop forwards onto his forehead, defying all the laws of gel to remain in that position. I can see intense jade eyes, set an even distance apart, sparkling with humour, burning with anger, shining with life and all the other emotions I ever saw Seifer display. I can see the scar, my scar, the darker skin stark against his palely tanned features. I can even see his eyebrows, now raised in surprise, now lowered in a frown of concentration, and his cheekbones, prominent, lending a striking boldness and delicacy to his face that he works hard to hide. And of course, I can see his lips, his beautiful lips...
I am suddenly aware that where there was nothing beneath my knees, I can feel small stones and pebbles pressing painfully into my legs. I open my eyes, frowning as I recognise the concealed plateau where Seifer and I always used to fight our duels. Neither of us liked an audience when we were really pissed at each other, the SeeDs tended to get concerned by the fierceness of our attacks, neither of us giving any quarter, and intervene. Seifer... I look around, but I'm alone. Looks like Ultemecia's great plan failed...
"Seifer..." I whisper, letting my eyes close and the tears flow once more.
"Squall?" The voice behind me is so quiet that I barely hear it, but the electric current that skips up my spine as a hand comes to rest on my shoulder tells me who it is.
"Seifer?" Despite the fact that it should be impossible the way I'm sitting, I manage to spin 180 degrees to face the blond behind me. "Seifer!" I don't care anymore, not after I thought I'd lost him. I jump to my feet and dive into his arms, burying my head in his chest and letting go of everything. After a few moments, long enough for my tears to soak into his shirt, I feel his arms slip around me, holding me close to his chest as I continue to cry.
It seems an eternity that we stay like that, me crying into his shirt without restraint, feeling everything that I've kept bottled up since Ellone left finally find release. Seifer's grip never falters, except as I start to hiccough quietly and he rubs my back, hand sliding up beneath my jacket to move in gentle circles that have the desired effect of halting the embarrassing, and involuntary, spasms.
"Squall..." I look up at him, at the jade eyes which are dull with painful memories and sorrow. This isn't right. His eyes should be unclouded by anything except...lust. I feel a slow blush begin to rise at the thought. "Squall, I'm..." I lean up and steal the words from him with a kiss that robs us both of our breath. After all, what need has he to apologise to me, when I was the one who made him do everything that he did?
"So am I..." The three words are all that I need to say, and the sorrow vanishes from his eyes as though it was never there. For a moment jade green sparkles at me in delight, then they darken again, and Seifer is leaning down to capture my lips in a bruising kiss that tells me everything he can't find words for.
Heat and desire surge, and the contact of our lips is no longer enough for either of us. I grind my hips against Seifer's, feeling the sound of him groaning vibrate through my lips. A tongue is pushing insistently at my mouth, and I willingly open it to let Seifer explore, putting up a token resistance with my own tongue, before letting him take control of the kiss. His hands are busy behind my back, pushing at my jacket, even as I shrug it off, then his hands are running up my spine. They feel cold to my heated skin, and I arch away from them, into his body, grinding our erections together again.
My hands are still free, and I busy myself in removing Seifer's shirt, damp with my tears. As he shrugs it from his shoulders, and briefly pulls away to tug the sleeves over his hands, I manage to pull my own shirt over my head. I moan at the sudden feel of Seifer's tongue circling my navel, and my head tips backwards as his hands busy themselves about my chest. Cool fingers toy with one nipple briefly before moving on to the other, and Seifer's heated mouth seems to be everywhere around my stomach, tracing my hip bones, his tongue dipping teasingly under the waistband of my pants.
It's not enough... "Seifer..." I moan quietly. He looks up, jade green eyes almost black with lust. He wants me, and I want him. Fuck the foreplay, I want him in me... now! Slowly I sink to my knees, discovering that kneeling we are the same height... hmm... I file the information that his legs are longer than mine away for later referral, and lean forwards to capture his lips in another searing kiss.
My hands fumble at the fastenings of his pants, one sliding to cup his erection as the other forcefully pushes the material down over his tight ass. He moans into my mouth, hands tightening convulsively on my sides before he attacks the belts that I always wear. I break the kiss to slide my mouth down to his ear, panting into it. "I want you..." I growl into his ear, tightening my grip on his hardened flesh. His hands pause as coherent thought momentarily leaves him, then resume their task with a more frenzied pace.
"I noticed..." He mutters back, seizing the lobe of my ear in a teasing grip before licking and nibbling his way down my neck. His breath is growing audibly shorter, but my attention is distracted from him as he finally breaks through the belts and into my pants, gripping my erection and driving all thought from my mind. Dimly I hear a wail of pure pleasure, and after a moment I realise that it is mine. Then even that little thought is driven from my mind by Seifer's skilled hands.
Vaguely, through a haze of pleasure, I feel Seifer lower us both to the side, and then he rolls on top of me. Somewhere along the line my pants have been pulled completely off, and his have too. I feel his erection brush against mine, and my back arches as I moan loudly, bucking my hips to rock against him again. His groan of pleasure mingles with mine until I can't tell which of us is moaning. Cool fingers are teasing one nipple, whilst Seifer sucks and bites gently on the other. It distracts me enough that the cold, slick finger slipping past my entrance shocks every muscle into tightening reflexively. I feel Seifer grin around the nipple, then ease upwards to whisper in my ear.
"Relax..." As he speaks he crooks his finger slightly brushing against my prostate and causing white sparks to shoot across my vision. A hoarse groan tears itself free of my throat.
"Gods...Seifer...Aaah!" I yell and buck against the intruding finger as he works it against my prostate over and over. Soon the single finger is joined by a second, and I can feel him stretching me, taking his time to make sure I am ready. "Now Seifer!" I exclaim, my voice harsh and pleading. "Fuck me now! Pleeasse!" Even though I know what's to come will be better, the emptiness as the fingers withdraw is almost unbearable.
I feel the tip of his erection nudging gently at my entrance, and I force myself to relax. Slowly, so slowly, Seifer pushes forwards. There is a faint, painful burn as Seifer slowly pushes into me, and then everything is eclipsed by a wave of blinding pleasure as he strikes my prostate. The world degenerates into a mass of sensation, and all I can do is scream and sob his name.
Just as I think the ecstasy I am feeling can't get any better, my vision fades to white and I climax, barely even feeling my heated cum splatter across my chest and Seifer's. There is an echoing cry from above as Seifer also comes, deep inside me, and then slowly withdraws to lie next to me on the hard rocks.
We are both panting, and faint white sparks are still flashing across my vision and up my spine. I couldn't care less if anyone found us now, the truly intense experience has confirmed what I already know. I am in love with Seifer Almasy. And the best of it? I twist my head to the side to find him watching me. I think he's in love with me too...
But there is something I have to know. Something I have to know before I can ever let the past - or was it the future? - go.
"Seifer..." He sits up slowly, a soft smile on his face, a genuine smile.
"Mmm?" He murmurs, reaching out to brush my hair back from my face.
"Why did you go with Ultemecia?" The hand freezes on my cheek, and his eyes suddenly become guarded, wary. Then he leans forwards to capture my lips in a possessive kiss. As he draws away the walls in his eyes lower, and I can see everything.
"That's why." He knew. He knew that I was Ultemecia. Didn't know why, but had still recognised me beneath my disguise.
Thank you... The thought steals through my mind like a breeze through a tree. Looking beyond Seifer for a moment I see Ultemecia slowly fade from view. Had she been there the whole time? Do I care? I decide not. I have Seifer, although it has taken some pretty desperate measures to get him, and that is all that matters. Selfish I know, but hey, I saved the world from myself... Surely I deserve a reward?
OWARI
(END)
AN: whew, glad that's over... *wipes sweat from forehead* Sorry if the lemon sucks, but then again, it's bloody difficult to write a 1st person yaoi lemon when ur female @_@ Anyway, that's the end. I'm gonna do a Q & A 'chapter' so that I can (now the fic's over) try and explain without fear of spoilers ;) So, if u have a question/s, now's the time to review and ask :)