Disclaimer: I own no rights to Evangelion... my name isn't Gainax (in case you don't get it, I'll spell it out for you: G A I N A X O W N S A L L R I G H T S T O E V A N G E L I O N.) I present you with: Deviance 10. Enjoy.
Part 10
(Episode 24)
Imperfect Halo
By Random1377
Shinji Ikari knocked softly on the door of room three-oh-three, then opened it slowly and stepped inside, a soft frown on his face. Touji Suzuhara looked up for only a moment, barely acknowledging Shinji's presence with a slight nod before returning his attention to Hikari's inert form.
Shinji walked over to his friend and put his hand lightly on his shoulder. He did not ask how the other boy's wife was doing - he didn't have to... the array of life-support machines that she was connected to spoke eloquently enough.
Nor did he ask how Touji was... again, a look was all he needed. He wondered if Touji had slept at all in the week and a half since Unit 00 had been destroyed. The boy looked like death warmed-over, and smelled as if he had not showered in that time, either. Shinji knew that he, himself, wasn't sleeping very well.
Asuka tried to make it better for him, going out of her way to be sweeter and more loving than ever before... but nothing helped. Shinji could not erase the memory of the dying clones in that deep vault underground... nor could he forget Hikari's softly whispered, 'Sorry...' - the last word she spoke before passing out.
The word that might very well be her last... the word he knew so well.
He wanted desperately to use that word now, to somehow force it to make everything alright... but he couldn't. He couldn't push it past his lips, and he knew that if he did it would mean nothing to his friend anyway.
So he stood in silence, just being there... wishing with all of his heart that he could trade places with Hikari... that he could see Touji happy again.
Touji looked up at him and smiled, thanking Shinji for coming to see them without saying a word.
Somehow, both of them felt that saying something would be blasphemous just then - like maintaining their silence somehow made a difference to the stricken girl lying in the bed. Or perhaps... that saying anything about how either of them was feeling, or about how they hoped she would wake, would in some way make them admit that this was all real.
If they kept silent... maybe they could convince themselves that it was all a nightmare, and that they would wake up any time.
They stayed that way for over an hour, just watching the smooth rise and fall of the dark-haired girl's chest, lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Shinji gave Touji's shoulder a gentle squeeze, and turned for the door.
Touji watched him until he was at the door, then rose and crossed the room quickly. As Shinji turned to wave goodbye, Touji threw his arms around him and hugged him fiercely, silent tears running down his face as his body shook with repressed sobs.
Shinji blinked in surprise, then carefully put his arms around his friend and held him as he wept, feeling awkward... but understanding completely...
**
Rei Ayanami climbed out of the entry plug feeling worn out. It had been a harder sync test than she was used to, and Shinji's continued avoidance of her had not made it easier. When he had come back from the mysterious meeting with Doctor Akagi, he had been paler that she was... and he had not been able to look her in the eyes. He had merely said, 'We need to go...' and left with Asuka after a mumbled apology.
"I will wait until you are ready..." she whispered to herself as she walked towards the locker rooms. If there was one trait that Rei possessed above all others, it was patience. She wanted to discuss with him her feelings of kinship... but she was more than willing to wait until he got over whatever it was that was bothering him.
The strange and sudden disappearance of the blonde head of the E-project also concerned her... though why, she could not say. She had not been close to the woman in any way, but she still felt nervous somehow about her abrupt departure. It corresponded too closely with Shinji's change in behavior.
So wrapped up in her thoughts was she that she failed to notice Asuka Langley Souryu following her to the locker room with a pensive look on her face.
In silence the two girls showered and dressed, Rei unmindful of the Second Child's presence until the redhead said, "Hey... Wondergirl... can I talk to you?"
The fact that Asuka had spoken to her at all was a bit of a surprise, but the hesitant, almost diffident tone she used nearly floored the red-eyed girl. "Of course..." she said softly, buttoning up her school shirt.
Asuka said nothing for a moment, then asked softly, "Has... Shinji talked to you at all recently?"
Rei paused and turned to her, "He has greeted me when I see him," she said softly, "if you are asking if he has engaged in any conversation beyond that... no."
Asuka frowned, "He hasn't... been talking much," she said closing her locker and folding her arms across her chest, "I'm... worried about him."
Rei blinked, "You are his lover, are you not?" she probed softly, "If you were not concerned for him, I would not consider you worthy." She buttoned the last button and started for the door.
Asuka's hand on her shoulder held her back. "What then, Rei?" the redhead said, her tone low and dangerous.
The blue-haired girl did not turn, she merely replied levelly, "I would not allow you to be close to him."
Asuka turned her around, not bothering to be gentle. "What is with you?" she said, her anger rising, "You act like YOU'RE his leibshin! And you wouldn't ALLOW me to see him? What's THAT about?"
To her very great surprise, Rei smiled faintly. "It is not important, as you do care for him..." she leaned closer to the redhead, her tone becoming comforting, "I do not know what is wrong, Asuka... but I know that you must be the one to help him. Because he will listen to you, because he trusts you, and because he loves you." She gently pulled her arm away from the stunned girl and walked out the door.
It wasn't until she had been gone for five full minutes that Asuka realized the red-eyed girl had called Shinji her lover.
**
Gendou Ikari stood in front of the tank, his brow drawn down as he regarded the dark-haired girl intently. "Are you there?" he asked softly.
Silence was his only reply. The girl merely continued to float in the orange fluid, her hair making a dark, imperfect halo around her familiar features.
Gendou sighed, "Foolish to think the destruction of Unit 00 would bring you back..." he said quietly, "though I admit I had hoped it might." He stepped closer to the glass, studying her carefully.
-Didn't she just move?- he wondered. He shook his head, stepping back again, "But no..." he muttered regretfully, "your sacrifice has now become a true one. You gave your soul to EVA... and now it has fled." He briefly considered shutting down the tank and releasing her body from its eternal slumber... but he could not bring himself to do it.
Not after what she had given... not after what she meant.
Gendou found that there were no more words to say, so he turned and strode from the room, fully intending to never return.
As he left, the girl's eyes opened, and she looked once more around her prison, hoping to find some means of escape that she had not noticed before. Her mouth opened, and her long-unused voice whispered a single word: "Shinji..."
**
Looking out over the small body of water that Unit 00's destruction had created, Shinji sighed. -Misato said it would have leveled half of the city if the other EVAs hadn't contained the blast with their fields,- he thought with a frown, -Unit 04 would have been... there...- His eyes traversed the area that would have been atomized had Hikari not stood fast.
"Could I have done it?" he whispered to himself, "Or would I have failed?"
Somehow, he knew that he would not have been that strong. He frowned as he became aware of another presence. He turned to find a boy about his age standing almost directly beside him, gazing out over the lake.
"A lovely evening..." the boy began quietly, "wouldn't you agree, Shinji Ikari?"
Shinji blinked. His first reaction was to make an excuse and leave, possibly citing the need to be alone... but something about the other boy's quiet demeanor held him back.
"Yes..." he conceded, "it is..." And it was, too. A light breeze was blowing, ruffling the other boy's gray hair and taking some of the edge off of the heat of the day. "How do you know my name?" he asked the boy after a moment of silence.
The boy turned, meeting Shinji's cobalt eyes with his crimson ones and smiling softly. "Everyone knows who you are, Third Child..." he replied, "though I perhaps have a slight advantage over them..." he extended his hand, "I am Kaworu Nagisa... the Sixth Child."
Shinji's shoulders slumped as he shook Kaworu's hand, "I see..." he said quietly, "you're... Hikari's replacement..."
Kaworu's smile softened, "No," he corrected gently, "I am the replacement pilot for Unit 04. From all I have heard... Misses Suzuhara cannot be replaced."
Shinji found that a lump was forming in his throat. "No..." he whispered, pushing his hands deep into his pockets, "she can't..."
They stared out over the lake in silence for a few minutes, then Kaworu folded his arms and said quietly, "I apologize for eavesdropping when I first arrived, but I heard you speaking to yourself of the destruction of the 00 Unit... would you tell me about it? I have not had the chance to read the details of the mission as of yet..."
Reluctantly, Shinji recounted the fight... outlining painfully his helplessness and his fear - wondering the whole time just why he was telling this stranger all of this.
"I see..." the gray-haired boy said after Shinji had finished, "but you did help," he pointed out, "you spoke to the First and convinced her to eject."
Shinji looked at his feet. "I... thought I was saving a friend, you know? But somehow I lost one instead..."
Kaworu smiled softly, "You feel... responsible, yes?" He raised a hand as Shinji blinked and tried to stutter that this was not the case at all, "It is all over your features... it speaks from the slump of your shoulders... it whispers from the bags under your eyes... it screams from the quiet desperation in your voice. Only guilt produces such an effect." He shook his head, "And I do not understand why. You did all that you could do - even restricted in your entry plug, you managed to save a life. Do not treat that so lightly, Shinji... that is an affront to the Creator..."
Shinji's eyes were wide as he stared at the Sixth Child. After a moment he broke eye contact, feeling oddly... relieved. On some level, deep down, he knew that this boy was right. -Why should his opinion matter?- he thought, -I've just met him... why should I care what he thinks?- But he knew that this was exactly why it mattered.
Asuka was his lover... she would tell him he was in the right because of their feelings for each other. Misato was his guardian... she would tell him it was ok to keep him safe and happy. Touji was his friend... he would agree with him and stand by his side no matter what happened. And Rei... he didn't want to think about Rei. But this boy... this boy didn't know anything about him (other than what he had read in his profile), and here he was... offering him absolution and kindness - for no reason other than he felt Shinji deserved it.
Shinji almost wept. "Thank you..." he said quietly.
Kaworu's smile slipped a bit as Shinji turned away to collect himself. -You may not thank me when all is said and done...- he thought sadly, his mind turning over the mission he had to accomplish.
The angel known as Tabris, the angel of free will, felt an odd sensation in his chest as Shinji turned back to him, smiling and trying to apologize for his behavior as he wiped his eyes... a feeling he had not experienced at any time in his fourteen years of private upbringing and training in the care of SEELE - the first stirrings of friendship...
**
A very quiet, very strange few weeks passed... in which time, Kaworu Nagisa grew to know each of the other EVA pilots.
He learned of Asuka's secret love affair with her fellow pilot... and watched it strained by some unseen pressure on her young lover. He became aquatinted with Rei... and was pleased to find her quiet and perceptive - and only vaguely aware of her true nature. He got to know Misato and the rest of the bridge crew... unconsciously analyzing their strengths and weaknesses.
He spent time with all of them, his feelings of trepidation and uncertainty growing with each day. He became - quite unexpectedly for both of them - Asuka's confidant, offering her advice on her relationship and finding himself in awe of her strength. He became Rei's friend... and possibly a bit more (at least, it might have become more, had he not been who - and what - he was). He tried to approach Touji... but was quietly, though politely, asked to leave.
But of all of them, he grew the closest to Shinji. In the melancholy Third Child he found a soul almost identical to his own - a soul desperately seeking answers to questions that had none... a soul longing for someone to take it by the hand and lead it to a happier place... a soul that was sweet... and pure... and innocent - even in spite of all the wickedness it had seen.
It was Shinji, and Shinji alone that kept Kaworu from his appointed task as long as possible - even in spite of the constant call of the Father, deep below the Earth... like a constant ringing in his ears... and the ever-more pressing orders of the SEELE members.
Oh, how he longed to be the one to comfort that boy... to be the one to tell him it would be alright... to be the one he came to when he wept... to be the one he whispered 'I love you' to. For he DID love Shinji Ikari... not in the way that most would think, or even understand. No, Kaworu's love for Shinji was pure, and shinning... a non-sexual urge to protect and comfort a person he saw as the epitome of all that was good in the Lillim race.
But even his love, as powerful as it was, could not silence the call from beneath the ground. And after a blissful, heavenly three weeks in his company... Kaworu knew it was time to fulfill his destiny...
**
"Now, why are we doing this?" Asuka asked, one eyebrow raised.
She and Shinji were sitting in the entry plug for Unit 01, both in their plugsuits. Asuka was sitting to the side of the pilot's seat, her hand resting discretely on Shinji's.
"This test is just something that Doctor Akagi had been thinking about for a while." Maya said into the microphone, "During the incident with the sixth angel, it was observed that your combined sync ratio was higher than either of your individual ones, but there was never a good time to explore the phenomenon further. Today I would like to get some basic readings in a non-stress situation."
She entered a sequence on her keyboard, "Now, I want you to agree on an image and concentrate on it. The test will commence in one minute."
"W-Would it be easier if we were holding hands?" Shinji asked hesitantly, then went on in a rush, "When we fought the angel I was nearly sitting on her lap... perhaps physical contact... umm... enhances the effect." Asuka looked at him, her face screaming, 'You are SO full of it!' but she smiled.
Maya smiled too, she wasn't blind, "Good idea, Shinji. Asuka, would it be ok with you?"
Asuka pretended to sound frustrated, "I guess if I HAVE too..."
Maya tried not to laugh out loud, -Trying so hard to make people think they're just friends...- she blushed, thinking of herself and a certain someone doing the same, -I wonder if WE'RE that obvious...-
Asuka looked at her lover's profile, her smile slipping away. -What can I do, baby?- she thought sadly, -Why won't you let me in?-
It had been over a week and a half since they had last made love, and that time... hadn't gone so well. It had been awkward... and slightly sad - a mere shadow of the happy coupling she was used to. She had thought things were improving when Kaworu and Shinji got closer... but even that hadn't managed to keep him happy very long.
"Hang on," Asuka said suddenly, leaning forward to switch off the internal camera in the plug, "we need to decide on an image, and knowing idiot-boy here, it could take more than a minute." She slid around until she was in his lap, one leg on either side of him, and leaned forward until she was resting against him, her hair floating all around his face. "Shinji..." she whispered, "please talk to me..."
His entire body tensed and he looked away, "Asuka... I... there's nothing to talk about... I'm ok..."
"Liar..." she said softly, a hurt look on her face, "you said you loved me... but you won't even talk to me about what's wrong..."
He flinched, "I... Asuka, I do love you I just..." his voice cracked slightly, "I don't know how to tell you"
She put a hand on each side of his face, "You can tell me anything..." she said softly, "is it..." now it was her voice that became unstable, "is there someone else, Shinji?"
"No!" he said quickly, putting his arms around her, "no... I only ever want you..."
She closed her eyes, some of her tension leaving her as she laid her head on his shoulder, "Then what is it, baby..." she pressed gently, "please tell me..."
He took a deep breath, "I... ok. It's... about Rei..."
As he spoke, her eyes slowly grew wider and wider. -Oh Shinji...- she thought, holding him tighter, -I didn't know... I'm sorry... you mother... oh, I'm so, so sorry...-
When he finished, she pulled back slightly and kissed him. "I understand..." she whispered as she broke away, sliding back to the side of the pilot's chair and smiling softly, "when we get home, I'll help you forget..." she put a finger on his lips as he tried to speak, "not like that..." she said, "unless..." she added hopefully, "you want to..."
"Maybe..." he said, caressing her cheek gently, "and I'm sorry that I've been... I'm sorry..."
She smiled and reactivated the camera, "It's ok," she said reassuringly, "we'll talk about it later, I'm sure that Miss Ibuki's in a hurry to-" she cut off as she caught Shinji's deep, slightly confused frown. "What? What is it?"
"Isn't that Kaworu?" he asked quietly, inclining his head towards the monitor.
Asuka looked out, puzzled, "Yeah, I think it is..." she frowned, "is he... talking to my Unit 02?"
Suddenly alarms started sounding from every direction, "What's going on!?" Shinji screamed, covering his ears.
Asuka made no reply. Her eyes were fixed on the gray-haired boy who had just stepped off of the gantry and was floating on air... and the now-open eyes of Unit 02.
**
"Unit 02 has just gone active!" Hyouga shouted.
"Asuka?" Misato said, leaning over his desk.
He shook his head, "No, she's still in Unit 01's entry plug with Shinji." His eyes widened as he read the incoming data on his screen. "Impossible..." he whispered, then louder, "Unit 02's entry plug is not inserted - there's no one piloting it."
The main screen flared to life and showed Unit 02, already free of its bindings and moving at top speed towards the shaft leading deeper into the complex. On its shoulder was the familiar form of the Sixth Child.
"Who do we have that can intercept?" Misato replied.
"Touji is in the infirmary with his wife, but we can't get him into Unit 03 before Unit 02 reaches Terminal Dogma, and Rei hasn't been seen at all today." Hyouga was sweating, -How could this happen?- he thought frantically, -How could HE be an angel??-
Misato frowned deeply, trying to decide what to do.
"Miss Ibuki," Gendou's voice spoke from behind her.
Maya's voice replied over the speaker system, "Yes sir."
"Launch Unit 01 to intercept Unit 02," he said coolly.
Maya replied, "Yes sir, I'll just need a moment to eject the plug and get Asuka-"
He cut her off, "There is no time, launch at once."
Maya briefly considered telling him that this scenario may jeopardize both pilot's lives, but discarded the notion as she realized it would not change his order. She typed on her keyboard, speaking in as calm a voice as she could muster, "Unit 01, prepare for launch to intercept Evangelion Unit 02 along route number nine..." She hit the enter key, sending the huge mecha into motion, "go!"
Asuka yelped in surprise as the mecha lurched... down. "What the hell!?" she shouted as they dropped, "You can't warn a person?!?"
For the first time since Hikari got sick, Shinji laughed.
**
Rei stood silently in a hallway deep inside of Terminal Dogma, a slight frown on her face. "Why am I here?" she whispered to herself, ignoring the alarms sounding all around her, "What is this feeling... this call...?"
A speaker on the wall came to life, "Unit 01 has reached the linear carriage and is beginning descent," it announced, "two minutes to contact with angel..."
"Angel..." Rei said thoughtfully, "is that what you meant, Pilot Nagisa?" She lowered her head and closed her eyes, recalling their conversation of the previous week... the subtle hints... the desperate need for her to intuit something he could not say. She tried to focus on her body... or more precisely, her soul.
"Unit 01 is engaging 02..." the speaker blared.
Rei's eyes opened slowly and she nodded to herself. "I see..." she whispered, "even then, you knew how you wanted this game to play out. Very well... I will help you attain your freedom...."
Abruptly, the blue-haired pilot broke into a run, heading for a room she could now feel calling to her... a room that held the flesh of the soul she possessed... a room where one of the last great battles would be fought for mankind's survival...
**
Metal screamed on metal... vibrating blades met and rebounded... desperate cries filled the air... and a gray-haired Child watched with a frown as two titans vied for dominance.
"This, I still do not understand..." he whispered to himself, "the Evangelions are pale copies of the Father... a creature the Lillim abhor - and yet, they hesitate not at all to use them to fight His children..." He frowned, "Does this make them weak for relying on that which they hate to fight their battles for them? Or strong for being willing to go to any lengths to win?"
"Kaworu!!" Shinji's voice rang out over Unit 01's external speakers, "Why are you doing this?"
"That which was born of Adam must return to Adam," Kaworu replied sadly, "I am sorry it must be this way... my friend..."
Shinji's reply became a cry of pain as Unit 02's progressive knife found Unit 01's shoulder. In the plug, Asuka gasped, feeling only an echo of the pain. -It's worse for him...- she thought suddenly, for the first time, not envying Shinji his higher sync rate.
But having two people in charge DID have its advantages. Even as Shinji was crying out, Asuka was willing Unit 01 to move, swinging the heavy Prog knife in an underhand arc and burying it in the side of Unit 02's neck with a cry half of victory and half of sadness. -Sorry...- she thought as the red mecha shook.
She withdrew the knife to prepare for a second blow, but was interrupted as both Units finished their descent and hit the ground with a jarring impact.
Shaking his head to clear it, Shinji looked out to find Kaworu staring at the fallen Units with a sad expression on his face. "Kaworu!!" he called, willing the purple machine to stand.
The gray-haired boy made no reply... he simply turned and began floating away.
Shinji tried to follow, but found his movements restricted as Unit 02 grabbed Unit 01 around the ankle.
"Sorry honey..." Shinji whispered. Asuka flinched, but said nothing as Shinji brought the progressive knife down on Unit 02's neck.
**
"I've just lost contact with both Units! AT field detected!!" Hyouga called out, his voice on the verge of breaking.
"Makoto..." Misato said softly, her voice instantly calming him, "if we can't reestablish a link with Unit 01 in the next five minutes..."
"I know," he replied, bowing his head, "activate the self-destruct..."
"I'm sorry," she said simply, looking away from him.
"I don't mind..." he said, a slight flush on his cheeks, "as long as it's with you..."
"Thank you..." she replied, still unwilling to face him.
Nothing more was said... nothing more NEEDED to be said. Together, they waited for the end to come.
**
"Which way did he go?" Asuka asked, looking around frantically, "We have to find him, fast!"
"That way," Shinji said, his voice sounding distant "he went that way..."
She paused. "We... have to stop him, you know that... don't you Shinji?"
"I... yeah... I know..." he replied, his voice barely audible.
Asuka cast him a concerned glance, then put her hands on top of his and pushed forward, willing Unit 01 into motion. -This has to be hell for him...- she thought sadly, thinking of how happy he was while spending time with Kaworu.
**
Rei watched from her vantage point, high above the giant creature on the red cross. "Hello..." she whispered quietly, "mother..."
She felt oddly... conflicted. She knew that this creature, this ANGEL, was the source of the soul the dwelled within her... but she felt a smaller, subtler pull - as if there was something else, just out of sight, calling for her.
Unbeknownst to Rei, a greater truth was closer than she ever would have dreamed... held securely in a small room, pressed frantically up against the inside of the tank marked Prime... calling out to her in silent frustration.
And she might have heard that call, or found her way there on her own... had the Sixth Child not floated calmly into the room, attracting her full attention. She frowned slightly as the boy stood in front of the white being, clearly hearing every word that was spoken.
"You must not be allowed..." she whispered to herself. She closed her eyes, and imagined herself in Unit 00 once more. She concentrated on the sensation of spreading the Unit's AT field... and smiled in satisfaction as she felt her own, inherited field expanding to mix with and negate the effects of the last angel's.
She opened her eyes in time to witness Unit 01 enter the room and seize the Sixth in its mighty fist.
**
Asuka was shaking with fear and spent adrenaline. -Why did he pause...- she thought, unable to comprehend the fact that she was still alive, -why didn't he just do it? I don't understand...-
Shinji voiced her thought perfectly in one, simple word: "Why?"
The gray haired boy looked at Unit 01 steadily, "Only one race shall survive this conflict, Shinji..." he said, his voice sad, "life and death are equal to me - but you... you deserve to live. You burn so bright, I... I won't be the one to take that light away..." He sighed, "so you must erase me."
"Why me?" Shinji asked, looking at Asuka's profile, "Why us?"
Kaworu sighed. "It had to be the two of you," he said with a gentle smile, "you compliment one another... together, you are as one." His eyes rose to meet Rei's, "You are the only two I would accept defeat from. Now please... end it."
A tear fell from Rei's eye. "Yes," she whispered, answering the question his eyes asked, "I will... when the time comes, I will..."
As Kaworu smiled and brought his attention back to Unit 01, Shinji spoke again. "Kaworu..." he said softly, "I... I can't do this. You're my friend..."
Before Kaworu could reply, Asuka said softly, "Shinji... honey... close your eyes..." A fragment of a conversation held two weeks prior came back to her, Kaworu's words echoing in her mind... finally making sense: 'You must be what he is not - cannot - be... you must.'
Shinji's eyes flew to hers, his mouth working as he tried to protest. She smiled, caressing his cheek with her left hand. "Just close your eyes..." she repeated, "and tell me that you love me. Tell me you would do anything for me, Shinji... because I would do anything for you..."
With a sob, Shinji clenched his eyes shut. "I love you, Asuka..." he whimpered. He felt her lips brush his right cheek... then his left, claiming the tears that had started to fall. Then she was kissing him softly, promising him without saying a word that she would make everything alright.
And after a moment of silence... he felt her right hand contract sharply... and knew it was all over...
**
Misato stared out into the cool night, trying to pretend that the Child she had grown to love as her own had not been broken by this latest turn of events. It had been two hours so far... and he had not spoken one word since telling Asuka that he loved her. "Shinji?" she said, for the fortieth time, "Please talk to us..."
He looked up at her from the safe circle of Asuka's arms, but said nothing. Misato knew that he had been close to the Sixth Child... and that Asuka had too, but she could not get her mind around how hard he was taking it.
-He was an ANGEL!- her mind screamed, -He doesn't deserve Shinji's tears...- Out loud she said, "Shinji... you don't have to feel bad that he died. He CHOSE to end it this way... he CHOSE to drag you and Asuka into this... that's not the act of a friend..."
Asuka's crystal eyes rose to find her guardian's. "Misato..." she whispered quietly, cradling her love gently in her arms, "you're cruel."
Misato flinched and felt a flush rising on her cheeks. "I..." she took a deep breath, steeling herself against the backlash she anticipated for the words she was about to utter. "Yes, I am..." she said levelly, holding Asuka's eyes, "but not as cruel as a boy that pretends to be your friend, then betrays you and forces you to kill him." She was aware that she was shaking with rage, but did not care. She WOULD make her feelings known - even if it meant ostracizing both pilots to do it. "If he was so damn noble, he should have killed himself - THAT would have been the action of a true frie-"
Never before, and never after... did Asuka see Shinji move as fast as he did then. He was out of her arms and in front of Misato before she could even blink... and she winced at the sharp crack that seemed to echo in her ears as he slapped the purple-haired woman as hard as he could. "How DARE you..." the Third Child hissed, shaking with rage, "how dare you try and make me hate him! I don't care if YOU do! That's your business. But don't you EVER try and make me hate him, do you hear me?"
Misato turned slowly back to face him, ignoring the thin line of blood running from the corner of her mouth. "Shinji..." she said softly, her voice on the verge of breaking, "I'm... sorry..." finally, she started crying... dropping to her knees and looking up to his eyes as she spoke. "You... can't understand how much I care for you..." she whispered, "since Kaji... left, you're the most important thing in my life. I... I only want to protect you... to shield you..." her head bowed, tears rolling down her face, "I hate myself for not seeing what he was before he got close to you... before he hurt you like this..."
She closed her eyes as she wept, no longer able to look at him. Her heart stopped as she felt his arms gently pulling her closer to him, "Misato..." he whispered, his breath tickling her cheek, "I'm sorry that I slapped you... but please... please don't try and make Kaworu into a monster. He gave his life so we could live... he was... a better person than I'll ever be..."
She sniffed, trying to control her tears. "Don't say that..." she whispered, opening her eyes to look at him, "you are the BEST person I know. You're loving, caring, honest..." she smiled, "and from what I hear, a fantastic kisser..."
Asuka blushed, "Misato!" she gasped, "I... that was a secret!!"
Shinji smiled, feeling some of the sadness leave him at the indignant sound of his girlfriend's voice. "You said I was only so-so..." he said, smiling at Misato. Since his back was to Asuka, he knew she couldn't see, and he was pleased to see Misato's soft sigh of relief.
"I - no I didn't!" Asuka protested, sounding flustered, "I... I said that... that we could always improve!"
Shinji couldn't hold his mirth back anymore. He threw his arms around Misato and hugged her tightly as he laughed.
Asuka's eyes widened, then narrowed. "Oh! Oh that's REAL funny!" she said indignantly, turning away and folding her arms with a huff, "Maybe you'd like to see how long you can go with NO kisses at all! Maybe I should just-"
"Sorry..." Shinji whispered, wrapping his arms around her from behind and kissing her neck.
She turned to face him, her mouth open to launch a scathing verbal assault. Seeing his face, she changed her mind and grabbed him around the waist, pulling his lips to hers. After thirty-five seconds of intense kissing, she pushed him away, smiling with satisfaction as he landed on his rear, a dazed (but happy) look on his face. "THERE!" she said with a sniff, "It's the last you'll be getting for a long time, Third Child! I hope it was worth it!"
Shinji looked at Misato, who had regained her composure and was again looking off into the distance... a soft smile on her lips. "It was..." he said, rising to his feet. He folded his arms and stood beside his guardian, letting a comfortable silence descend.
Asuka matched their stance, frowning as she thought, -If he thinks I'm joking he's got another thing coming!-
Her vow lasted exactly one hour and thirty-two minutes... and was given up with not so much as an 'I told you it would never last' from her young lover - which was good, or she might have killed him. Either that, or she would have made him go for another hour and a half...
Which they both agreed later on would have been worse than Third Impact itself.
Continued...
Author's notes: Yes, yes... I know... I'm the slowest author on the surface of the Earth... sorry. I'll try really hard to get the next chapter (the one that reveals all the secrets... hehehe) out sooner than this one. Someone asked me why Kaworu would take Unit 02 and not 04. The answer to this can be found in Episode 24 of the series - Kaworu states that Unit 02's soul has 'Hidden itself away', and that's how he could take control of it. What about Unit 04? Well... re-read chapter 6 of this story or wait for the next chapter to find out what its soul is up to ;) but suffice it to say that 04 cannot be taken by him - and for more reasons than just this. Oh, and before anyone asks 'why not use Unit 03', re-read chapter 9 :)
Pre-read thanks goes to Ryoma and Lord Deathscythe. Thanks guys!
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com
Part 10
(Episode 24)
Imperfect Halo
By Random1377
Shinji Ikari knocked softly on the door of room three-oh-three, then opened it slowly and stepped inside, a soft frown on his face. Touji Suzuhara looked up for only a moment, barely acknowledging Shinji's presence with a slight nod before returning his attention to Hikari's inert form.
Shinji walked over to his friend and put his hand lightly on his shoulder. He did not ask how the other boy's wife was doing - he didn't have to... the array of life-support machines that she was connected to spoke eloquently enough.
Nor did he ask how Touji was... again, a look was all he needed. He wondered if Touji had slept at all in the week and a half since Unit 00 had been destroyed. The boy looked like death warmed-over, and smelled as if he had not showered in that time, either. Shinji knew that he, himself, wasn't sleeping very well.
Asuka tried to make it better for him, going out of her way to be sweeter and more loving than ever before... but nothing helped. Shinji could not erase the memory of the dying clones in that deep vault underground... nor could he forget Hikari's softly whispered, 'Sorry...' - the last word she spoke before passing out.
The word that might very well be her last... the word he knew so well.
He wanted desperately to use that word now, to somehow force it to make everything alright... but he couldn't. He couldn't push it past his lips, and he knew that if he did it would mean nothing to his friend anyway.
So he stood in silence, just being there... wishing with all of his heart that he could trade places with Hikari... that he could see Touji happy again.
Touji looked up at him and smiled, thanking Shinji for coming to see them without saying a word.
Somehow, both of them felt that saying something would be blasphemous just then - like maintaining their silence somehow made a difference to the stricken girl lying in the bed. Or perhaps... that saying anything about how either of them was feeling, or about how they hoped she would wake, would in some way make them admit that this was all real.
If they kept silent... maybe they could convince themselves that it was all a nightmare, and that they would wake up any time.
They stayed that way for over an hour, just watching the smooth rise and fall of the dark-haired girl's chest, lost in their own thoughts. Finally, Shinji gave Touji's shoulder a gentle squeeze, and turned for the door.
Touji watched him until he was at the door, then rose and crossed the room quickly. As Shinji turned to wave goodbye, Touji threw his arms around him and hugged him fiercely, silent tears running down his face as his body shook with repressed sobs.
Shinji blinked in surprise, then carefully put his arms around his friend and held him as he wept, feeling awkward... but understanding completely...
**
Rei Ayanami climbed out of the entry plug feeling worn out. It had been a harder sync test than she was used to, and Shinji's continued avoidance of her had not made it easier. When he had come back from the mysterious meeting with Doctor Akagi, he had been paler that she was... and he had not been able to look her in the eyes. He had merely said, 'We need to go...' and left with Asuka after a mumbled apology.
"I will wait until you are ready..." she whispered to herself as she walked towards the locker rooms. If there was one trait that Rei possessed above all others, it was patience. She wanted to discuss with him her feelings of kinship... but she was more than willing to wait until he got over whatever it was that was bothering him.
The strange and sudden disappearance of the blonde head of the E-project also concerned her... though why, she could not say. She had not been close to the woman in any way, but she still felt nervous somehow about her abrupt departure. It corresponded too closely with Shinji's change in behavior.
So wrapped up in her thoughts was she that she failed to notice Asuka Langley Souryu following her to the locker room with a pensive look on her face.
In silence the two girls showered and dressed, Rei unmindful of the Second Child's presence until the redhead said, "Hey... Wondergirl... can I talk to you?"
The fact that Asuka had spoken to her at all was a bit of a surprise, but the hesitant, almost diffident tone she used nearly floored the red-eyed girl. "Of course..." she said softly, buttoning up her school shirt.
Asuka said nothing for a moment, then asked softly, "Has... Shinji talked to you at all recently?"
Rei paused and turned to her, "He has greeted me when I see him," she said softly, "if you are asking if he has engaged in any conversation beyond that... no."
Asuka frowned, "He hasn't... been talking much," she said closing her locker and folding her arms across her chest, "I'm... worried about him."
Rei blinked, "You are his lover, are you not?" she probed softly, "If you were not concerned for him, I would not consider you worthy." She buttoned the last button and started for the door.
Asuka's hand on her shoulder held her back. "What then, Rei?" the redhead said, her tone low and dangerous.
The blue-haired girl did not turn, she merely replied levelly, "I would not allow you to be close to him."
Asuka turned her around, not bothering to be gentle. "What is with you?" she said, her anger rising, "You act like YOU'RE his leibshin! And you wouldn't ALLOW me to see him? What's THAT about?"
To her very great surprise, Rei smiled faintly. "It is not important, as you do care for him..." she leaned closer to the redhead, her tone becoming comforting, "I do not know what is wrong, Asuka... but I know that you must be the one to help him. Because he will listen to you, because he trusts you, and because he loves you." She gently pulled her arm away from the stunned girl and walked out the door.
It wasn't until she had been gone for five full minutes that Asuka realized the red-eyed girl had called Shinji her lover.
**
Gendou Ikari stood in front of the tank, his brow drawn down as he regarded the dark-haired girl intently. "Are you there?" he asked softly.
Silence was his only reply. The girl merely continued to float in the orange fluid, her hair making a dark, imperfect halo around her familiar features.
Gendou sighed, "Foolish to think the destruction of Unit 00 would bring you back..." he said quietly, "though I admit I had hoped it might." He stepped closer to the glass, studying her carefully.
-Didn't she just move?- he wondered. He shook his head, stepping back again, "But no..." he muttered regretfully, "your sacrifice has now become a true one. You gave your soul to EVA... and now it has fled." He briefly considered shutting down the tank and releasing her body from its eternal slumber... but he could not bring himself to do it.
Not after what she had given... not after what she meant.
Gendou found that there were no more words to say, so he turned and strode from the room, fully intending to never return.
As he left, the girl's eyes opened, and she looked once more around her prison, hoping to find some means of escape that she had not noticed before. Her mouth opened, and her long-unused voice whispered a single word: "Shinji..."
**
Looking out over the small body of water that Unit 00's destruction had created, Shinji sighed. -Misato said it would have leveled half of the city if the other EVAs hadn't contained the blast with their fields,- he thought with a frown, -Unit 04 would have been... there...- His eyes traversed the area that would have been atomized had Hikari not stood fast.
"Could I have done it?" he whispered to himself, "Or would I have failed?"
Somehow, he knew that he would not have been that strong. He frowned as he became aware of another presence. He turned to find a boy about his age standing almost directly beside him, gazing out over the lake.
"A lovely evening..." the boy began quietly, "wouldn't you agree, Shinji Ikari?"
Shinji blinked. His first reaction was to make an excuse and leave, possibly citing the need to be alone... but something about the other boy's quiet demeanor held him back.
"Yes..." he conceded, "it is..." And it was, too. A light breeze was blowing, ruffling the other boy's gray hair and taking some of the edge off of the heat of the day. "How do you know my name?" he asked the boy after a moment of silence.
The boy turned, meeting Shinji's cobalt eyes with his crimson ones and smiling softly. "Everyone knows who you are, Third Child..." he replied, "though I perhaps have a slight advantage over them..." he extended his hand, "I am Kaworu Nagisa... the Sixth Child."
Shinji's shoulders slumped as he shook Kaworu's hand, "I see..." he said quietly, "you're... Hikari's replacement..."
Kaworu's smile softened, "No," he corrected gently, "I am the replacement pilot for Unit 04. From all I have heard... Misses Suzuhara cannot be replaced."
Shinji found that a lump was forming in his throat. "No..." he whispered, pushing his hands deep into his pockets, "she can't..."
They stared out over the lake in silence for a few minutes, then Kaworu folded his arms and said quietly, "I apologize for eavesdropping when I first arrived, but I heard you speaking to yourself of the destruction of the 00 Unit... would you tell me about it? I have not had the chance to read the details of the mission as of yet..."
Reluctantly, Shinji recounted the fight... outlining painfully his helplessness and his fear - wondering the whole time just why he was telling this stranger all of this.
"I see..." the gray-haired boy said after Shinji had finished, "but you did help," he pointed out, "you spoke to the First and convinced her to eject."
Shinji looked at his feet. "I... thought I was saving a friend, you know? But somehow I lost one instead..."
Kaworu smiled softly, "You feel... responsible, yes?" He raised a hand as Shinji blinked and tried to stutter that this was not the case at all, "It is all over your features... it speaks from the slump of your shoulders... it whispers from the bags under your eyes... it screams from the quiet desperation in your voice. Only guilt produces such an effect." He shook his head, "And I do not understand why. You did all that you could do - even restricted in your entry plug, you managed to save a life. Do not treat that so lightly, Shinji... that is an affront to the Creator..."
Shinji's eyes were wide as he stared at the Sixth Child. After a moment he broke eye contact, feeling oddly... relieved. On some level, deep down, he knew that this boy was right. -Why should his opinion matter?- he thought, -I've just met him... why should I care what he thinks?- But he knew that this was exactly why it mattered.
Asuka was his lover... she would tell him he was in the right because of their feelings for each other. Misato was his guardian... she would tell him it was ok to keep him safe and happy. Touji was his friend... he would agree with him and stand by his side no matter what happened. And Rei... he didn't want to think about Rei. But this boy... this boy didn't know anything about him (other than what he had read in his profile), and here he was... offering him absolution and kindness - for no reason other than he felt Shinji deserved it.
Shinji almost wept. "Thank you..." he said quietly.
Kaworu's smile slipped a bit as Shinji turned away to collect himself. -You may not thank me when all is said and done...- he thought sadly, his mind turning over the mission he had to accomplish.
The angel known as Tabris, the angel of free will, felt an odd sensation in his chest as Shinji turned back to him, smiling and trying to apologize for his behavior as he wiped his eyes... a feeling he had not experienced at any time in his fourteen years of private upbringing and training in the care of SEELE - the first stirrings of friendship...
**
A very quiet, very strange few weeks passed... in which time, Kaworu Nagisa grew to know each of the other EVA pilots.
He learned of Asuka's secret love affair with her fellow pilot... and watched it strained by some unseen pressure on her young lover. He became aquatinted with Rei... and was pleased to find her quiet and perceptive - and only vaguely aware of her true nature. He got to know Misato and the rest of the bridge crew... unconsciously analyzing their strengths and weaknesses.
He spent time with all of them, his feelings of trepidation and uncertainty growing with each day. He became - quite unexpectedly for both of them - Asuka's confidant, offering her advice on her relationship and finding himself in awe of her strength. He became Rei's friend... and possibly a bit more (at least, it might have become more, had he not been who - and what - he was). He tried to approach Touji... but was quietly, though politely, asked to leave.
But of all of them, he grew the closest to Shinji. In the melancholy Third Child he found a soul almost identical to his own - a soul desperately seeking answers to questions that had none... a soul longing for someone to take it by the hand and lead it to a happier place... a soul that was sweet... and pure... and innocent - even in spite of all the wickedness it had seen.
It was Shinji, and Shinji alone that kept Kaworu from his appointed task as long as possible - even in spite of the constant call of the Father, deep below the Earth... like a constant ringing in his ears... and the ever-more pressing orders of the SEELE members.
Oh, how he longed to be the one to comfort that boy... to be the one to tell him it would be alright... to be the one he came to when he wept... to be the one he whispered 'I love you' to. For he DID love Shinji Ikari... not in the way that most would think, or even understand. No, Kaworu's love for Shinji was pure, and shinning... a non-sexual urge to protect and comfort a person he saw as the epitome of all that was good in the Lillim race.
But even his love, as powerful as it was, could not silence the call from beneath the ground. And after a blissful, heavenly three weeks in his company... Kaworu knew it was time to fulfill his destiny...
**
"Now, why are we doing this?" Asuka asked, one eyebrow raised.
She and Shinji were sitting in the entry plug for Unit 01, both in their plugsuits. Asuka was sitting to the side of the pilot's seat, her hand resting discretely on Shinji's.
"This test is just something that Doctor Akagi had been thinking about for a while." Maya said into the microphone, "During the incident with the sixth angel, it was observed that your combined sync ratio was higher than either of your individual ones, but there was never a good time to explore the phenomenon further. Today I would like to get some basic readings in a non-stress situation."
She entered a sequence on her keyboard, "Now, I want you to agree on an image and concentrate on it. The test will commence in one minute."
"W-Would it be easier if we were holding hands?" Shinji asked hesitantly, then went on in a rush, "When we fought the angel I was nearly sitting on her lap... perhaps physical contact... umm... enhances the effect." Asuka looked at him, her face screaming, 'You are SO full of it!' but she smiled.
Maya smiled too, she wasn't blind, "Good idea, Shinji. Asuka, would it be ok with you?"
Asuka pretended to sound frustrated, "I guess if I HAVE too..."
Maya tried not to laugh out loud, -Trying so hard to make people think they're just friends...- she blushed, thinking of herself and a certain someone doing the same, -I wonder if WE'RE that obvious...-
Asuka looked at her lover's profile, her smile slipping away. -What can I do, baby?- she thought sadly, -Why won't you let me in?-
It had been over a week and a half since they had last made love, and that time... hadn't gone so well. It had been awkward... and slightly sad - a mere shadow of the happy coupling she was used to. She had thought things were improving when Kaworu and Shinji got closer... but even that hadn't managed to keep him happy very long.
"Hang on," Asuka said suddenly, leaning forward to switch off the internal camera in the plug, "we need to decide on an image, and knowing idiot-boy here, it could take more than a minute." She slid around until she was in his lap, one leg on either side of him, and leaned forward until she was resting against him, her hair floating all around his face. "Shinji..." she whispered, "please talk to me..."
His entire body tensed and he looked away, "Asuka... I... there's nothing to talk about... I'm ok..."
"Liar..." she said softly, a hurt look on her face, "you said you loved me... but you won't even talk to me about what's wrong..."
He flinched, "I... Asuka, I do love you I just..." his voice cracked slightly, "I don't know how to tell you"
She put a hand on each side of his face, "You can tell me anything..." she said softly, "is it..." now it was her voice that became unstable, "is there someone else, Shinji?"
"No!" he said quickly, putting his arms around her, "no... I only ever want you..."
She closed her eyes, some of her tension leaving her as she laid her head on his shoulder, "Then what is it, baby..." she pressed gently, "please tell me..."
He took a deep breath, "I... ok. It's... about Rei..."
As he spoke, her eyes slowly grew wider and wider. -Oh Shinji...- she thought, holding him tighter, -I didn't know... I'm sorry... you mother... oh, I'm so, so sorry...-
When he finished, she pulled back slightly and kissed him. "I understand..." she whispered as she broke away, sliding back to the side of the pilot's chair and smiling softly, "when we get home, I'll help you forget..." she put a finger on his lips as he tried to speak, "not like that..." she said, "unless..." she added hopefully, "you want to..."
"Maybe..." he said, caressing her cheek gently, "and I'm sorry that I've been... I'm sorry..."
She smiled and reactivated the camera, "It's ok," she said reassuringly, "we'll talk about it later, I'm sure that Miss Ibuki's in a hurry to-" she cut off as she caught Shinji's deep, slightly confused frown. "What? What is it?"
"Isn't that Kaworu?" he asked quietly, inclining his head towards the monitor.
Asuka looked out, puzzled, "Yeah, I think it is..." she frowned, "is he... talking to my Unit 02?"
Suddenly alarms started sounding from every direction, "What's going on!?" Shinji screamed, covering his ears.
Asuka made no reply. Her eyes were fixed on the gray-haired boy who had just stepped off of the gantry and was floating on air... and the now-open eyes of Unit 02.
**
"Unit 02 has just gone active!" Hyouga shouted.
"Asuka?" Misato said, leaning over his desk.
He shook his head, "No, she's still in Unit 01's entry plug with Shinji." His eyes widened as he read the incoming data on his screen. "Impossible..." he whispered, then louder, "Unit 02's entry plug is not inserted - there's no one piloting it."
The main screen flared to life and showed Unit 02, already free of its bindings and moving at top speed towards the shaft leading deeper into the complex. On its shoulder was the familiar form of the Sixth Child.
"Who do we have that can intercept?" Misato replied.
"Touji is in the infirmary with his wife, but we can't get him into Unit 03 before Unit 02 reaches Terminal Dogma, and Rei hasn't been seen at all today." Hyouga was sweating, -How could this happen?- he thought frantically, -How could HE be an angel??-
Misato frowned deeply, trying to decide what to do.
"Miss Ibuki," Gendou's voice spoke from behind her.
Maya's voice replied over the speaker system, "Yes sir."
"Launch Unit 01 to intercept Unit 02," he said coolly.
Maya replied, "Yes sir, I'll just need a moment to eject the plug and get Asuka-"
He cut her off, "There is no time, launch at once."
Maya briefly considered telling him that this scenario may jeopardize both pilot's lives, but discarded the notion as she realized it would not change his order. She typed on her keyboard, speaking in as calm a voice as she could muster, "Unit 01, prepare for launch to intercept Evangelion Unit 02 along route number nine..." She hit the enter key, sending the huge mecha into motion, "go!"
Asuka yelped in surprise as the mecha lurched... down. "What the hell!?" she shouted as they dropped, "You can't warn a person?!?"
For the first time since Hikari got sick, Shinji laughed.
**
Rei stood silently in a hallway deep inside of Terminal Dogma, a slight frown on her face. "Why am I here?" she whispered to herself, ignoring the alarms sounding all around her, "What is this feeling... this call...?"
A speaker on the wall came to life, "Unit 01 has reached the linear carriage and is beginning descent," it announced, "two minutes to contact with angel..."
"Angel..." Rei said thoughtfully, "is that what you meant, Pilot Nagisa?" She lowered her head and closed her eyes, recalling their conversation of the previous week... the subtle hints... the desperate need for her to intuit something he could not say. She tried to focus on her body... or more precisely, her soul.
"Unit 01 is engaging 02..." the speaker blared.
Rei's eyes opened slowly and she nodded to herself. "I see..." she whispered, "even then, you knew how you wanted this game to play out. Very well... I will help you attain your freedom...."
Abruptly, the blue-haired pilot broke into a run, heading for a room she could now feel calling to her... a room that held the flesh of the soul she possessed... a room where one of the last great battles would be fought for mankind's survival...
**
Metal screamed on metal... vibrating blades met and rebounded... desperate cries filled the air... and a gray-haired Child watched with a frown as two titans vied for dominance.
"This, I still do not understand..." he whispered to himself, "the Evangelions are pale copies of the Father... a creature the Lillim abhor - and yet, they hesitate not at all to use them to fight His children..." He frowned, "Does this make them weak for relying on that which they hate to fight their battles for them? Or strong for being willing to go to any lengths to win?"
"Kaworu!!" Shinji's voice rang out over Unit 01's external speakers, "Why are you doing this?"
"That which was born of Adam must return to Adam," Kaworu replied sadly, "I am sorry it must be this way... my friend..."
Shinji's reply became a cry of pain as Unit 02's progressive knife found Unit 01's shoulder. In the plug, Asuka gasped, feeling only an echo of the pain. -It's worse for him...- she thought suddenly, for the first time, not envying Shinji his higher sync rate.
But having two people in charge DID have its advantages. Even as Shinji was crying out, Asuka was willing Unit 01 to move, swinging the heavy Prog knife in an underhand arc and burying it in the side of Unit 02's neck with a cry half of victory and half of sadness. -Sorry...- she thought as the red mecha shook.
She withdrew the knife to prepare for a second blow, but was interrupted as both Units finished their descent and hit the ground with a jarring impact.
Shaking his head to clear it, Shinji looked out to find Kaworu staring at the fallen Units with a sad expression on his face. "Kaworu!!" he called, willing the purple machine to stand.
The gray-haired boy made no reply... he simply turned and began floating away.
Shinji tried to follow, but found his movements restricted as Unit 02 grabbed Unit 01 around the ankle.
"Sorry honey..." Shinji whispered. Asuka flinched, but said nothing as Shinji brought the progressive knife down on Unit 02's neck.
**
"I've just lost contact with both Units! AT field detected!!" Hyouga called out, his voice on the verge of breaking.
"Makoto..." Misato said softly, her voice instantly calming him, "if we can't reestablish a link with Unit 01 in the next five minutes..."
"I know," he replied, bowing his head, "activate the self-destruct..."
"I'm sorry," she said simply, looking away from him.
"I don't mind..." he said, a slight flush on his cheeks, "as long as it's with you..."
"Thank you..." she replied, still unwilling to face him.
Nothing more was said... nothing more NEEDED to be said. Together, they waited for the end to come.
**
"Which way did he go?" Asuka asked, looking around frantically, "We have to find him, fast!"
"That way," Shinji said, his voice sounding distant "he went that way..."
She paused. "We... have to stop him, you know that... don't you Shinji?"
"I... yeah... I know..." he replied, his voice barely audible.
Asuka cast him a concerned glance, then put her hands on top of his and pushed forward, willing Unit 01 into motion. -This has to be hell for him...- she thought sadly, thinking of how happy he was while spending time with Kaworu.
**
Rei watched from her vantage point, high above the giant creature on the red cross. "Hello..." she whispered quietly, "mother..."
She felt oddly... conflicted. She knew that this creature, this ANGEL, was the source of the soul the dwelled within her... but she felt a smaller, subtler pull - as if there was something else, just out of sight, calling for her.
Unbeknownst to Rei, a greater truth was closer than she ever would have dreamed... held securely in a small room, pressed frantically up against the inside of the tank marked Prime... calling out to her in silent frustration.
And she might have heard that call, or found her way there on her own... had the Sixth Child not floated calmly into the room, attracting her full attention. She frowned slightly as the boy stood in front of the white being, clearly hearing every word that was spoken.
"You must not be allowed..." she whispered to herself. She closed her eyes, and imagined herself in Unit 00 once more. She concentrated on the sensation of spreading the Unit's AT field... and smiled in satisfaction as she felt her own, inherited field expanding to mix with and negate the effects of the last angel's.
She opened her eyes in time to witness Unit 01 enter the room and seize the Sixth in its mighty fist.
**
Asuka was shaking with fear and spent adrenaline. -Why did he pause...- she thought, unable to comprehend the fact that she was still alive, -why didn't he just do it? I don't understand...-
Shinji voiced her thought perfectly in one, simple word: "Why?"
The gray haired boy looked at Unit 01 steadily, "Only one race shall survive this conflict, Shinji..." he said, his voice sad, "life and death are equal to me - but you... you deserve to live. You burn so bright, I... I won't be the one to take that light away..." He sighed, "so you must erase me."
"Why me?" Shinji asked, looking at Asuka's profile, "Why us?"
Kaworu sighed. "It had to be the two of you," he said with a gentle smile, "you compliment one another... together, you are as one." His eyes rose to meet Rei's, "You are the only two I would accept defeat from. Now please... end it."
A tear fell from Rei's eye. "Yes," she whispered, answering the question his eyes asked, "I will... when the time comes, I will..."
As Kaworu smiled and brought his attention back to Unit 01, Shinji spoke again. "Kaworu..." he said softly, "I... I can't do this. You're my friend..."
Before Kaworu could reply, Asuka said softly, "Shinji... honey... close your eyes..." A fragment of a conversation held two weeks prior came back to her, Kaworu's words echoing in her mind... finally making sense: 'You must be what he is not - cannot - be... you must.'
Shinji's eyes flew to hers, his mouth working as he tried to protest. She smiled, caressing his cheek with her left hand. "Just close your eyes..." she repeated, "and tell me that you love me. Tell me you would do anything for me, Shinji... because I would do anything for you..."
With a sob, Shinji clenched his eyes shut. "I love you, Asuka..." he whimpered. He felt her lips brush his right cheek... then his left, claiming the tears that had started to fall. Then she was kissing him softly, promising him without saying a word that she would make everything alright.
And after a moment of silence... he felt her right hand contract sharply... and knew it was all over...
**
Misato stared out into the cool night, trying to pretend that the Child she had grown to love as her own had not been broken by this latest turn of events. It had been two hours so far... and he had not spoken one word since telling Asuka that he loved her. "Shinji?" she said, for the fortieth time, "Please talk to us..."
He looked up at her from the safe circle of Asuka's arms, but said nothing. Misato knew that he had been close to the Sixth Child... and that Asuka had too, but she could not get her mind around how hard he was taking it.
-He was an ANGEL!- her mind screamed, -He doesn't deserve Shinji's tears...- Out loud she said, "Shinji... you don't have to feel bad that he died. He CHOSE to end it this way... he CHOSE to drag you and Asuka into this... that's not the act of a friend..."
Asuka's crystal eyes rose to find her guardian's. "Misato..." she whispered quietly, cradling her love gently in her arms, "you're cruel."
Misato flinched and felt a flush rising on her cheeks. "I..." she took a deep breath, steeling herself against the backlash she anticipated for the words she was about to utter. "Yes, I am..." she said levelly, holding Asuka's eyes, "but not as cruel as a boy that pretends to be your friend, then betrays you and forces you to kill him." She was aware that she was shaking with rage, but did not care. She WOULD make her feelings known - even if it meant ostracizing both pilots to do it. "If he was so damn noble, he should have killed himself - THAT would have been the action of a true frie-"
Never before, and never after... did Asuka see Shinji move as fast as he did then. He was out of her arms and in front of Misato before she could even blink... and she winced at the sharp crack that seemed to echo in her ears as he slapped the purple-haired woman as hard as he could. "How DARE you..." the Third Child hissed, shaking with rage, "how dare you try and make me hate him! I don't care if YOU do! That's your business. But don't you EVER try and make me hate him, do you hear me?"
Misato turned slowly back to face him, ignoring the thin line of blood running from the corner of her mouth. "Shinji..." she said softly, her voice on the verge of breaking, "I'm... sorry..." finally, she started crying... dropping to her knees and looking up to his eyes as she spoke. "You... can't understand how much I care for you..." she whispered, "since Kaji... left, you're the most important thing in my life. I... I only want to protect you... to shield you..." her head bowed, tears rolling down her face, "I hate myself for not seeing what he was before he got close to you... before he hurt you like this..."
She closed her eyes as she wept, no longer able to look at him. Her heart stopped as she felt his arms gently pulling her closer to him, "Misato..." he whispered, his breath tickling her cheek, "I'm sorry that I slapped you... but please... please don't try and make Kaworu into a monster. He gave his life so we could live... he was... a better person than I'll ever be..."
She sniffed, trying to control her tears. "Don't say that..." she whispered, opening her eyes to look at him, "you are the BEST person I know. You're loving, caring, honest..." she smiled, "and from what I hear, a fantastic kisser..."
Asuka blushed, "Misato!" she gasped, "I... that was a secret!!"
Shinji smiled, feeling some of the sadness leave him at the indignant sound of his girlfriend's voice. "You said I was only so-so..." he said, smiling at Misato. Since his back was to Asuka, he knew she couldn't see, and he was pleased to see Misato's soft sigh of relief.
"I - no I didn't!" Asuka protested, sounding flustered, "I... I said that... that we could always improve!"
Shinji couldn't hold his mirth back anymore. He threw his arms around Misato and hugged her tightly as he laughed.
Asuka's eyes widened, then narrowed. "Oh! Oh that's REAL funny!" she said indignantly, turning away and folding her arms with a huff, "Maybe you'd like to see how long you can go with NO kisses at all! Maybe I should just-"
"Sorry..." Shinji whispered, wrapping his arms around her from behind and kissing her neck.
She turned to face him, her mouth open to launch a scathing verbal assault. Seeing his face, she changed her mind and grabbed him around the waist, pulling his lips to hers. After thirty-five seconds of intense kissing, she pushed him away, smiling with satisfaction as he landed on his rear, a dazed (but happy) look on his face. "THERE!" she said with a sniff, "It's the last you'll be getting for a long time, Third Child! I hope it was worth it!"
Shinji looked at Misato, who had regained her composure and was again looking off into the distance... a soft smile on her lips. "It was..." he said, rising to his feet. He folded his arms and stood beside his guardian, letting a comfortable silence descend.
Asuka matched their stance, frowning as she thought, -If he thinks I'm joking he's got another thing coming!-
Her vow lasted exactly one hour and thirty-two minutes... and was given up with not so much as an 'I told you it would never last' from her young lover - which was good, or she might have killed him. Either that, or she would have made him go for another hour and a half...
Which they both agreed later on would have been worse than Third Impact itself.
Continued...
Author's notes: Yes, yes... I know... I'm the slowest author on the surface of the Earth... sorry. I'll try really hard to get the next chapter (the one that reveals all the secrets... hehehe) out sooner than this one. Someone asked me why Kaworu would take Unit 02 and not 04. The answer to this can be found in Episode 24 of the series - Kaworu states that Unit 02's soul has 'Hidden itself away', and that's how he could take control of it. What about Unit 04? Well... re-read chapter 6 of this story or wait for the next chapter to find out what its soul is up to ;) but suffice it to say that 04 cannot be taken by him - and for more reasons than just this. Oh, and before anyone asks 'why not use Unit 03', re-read chapter 9 :)
Pre-read thanks goes to Ryoma and Lord Deathscythe. Thanks guys!
Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com