Twist of Fate: Chapter 31
by Lisette
Legalese: See Chapter 1 for disclaimers and ratings.
With a weary sigh, Jarod stilled before the door, his hospital scrubs rustling softly as bloodshot eyes took in the notes on the clipboard that he held in his hands. Yet no matter how many times he looked at it, Jarod knew that the words would never magically change. Instead, Buffy's fate was spelled out with a cruel hand - a hand that even his skill was unable to guide. Closing his eyes, he took a minute to gather his wits about him, casually wrapping a gleaming stethoscope around his neck as he finally pushed open the door and joined the mob of people that littered the small room, all eyes instantly turning to him.
"Well?" Giles asked, speaking for everyone as he turned from the window he had been brooding beside, his features showing the wear of the past few days.
Pausing, Jarod fidgeted slightly, eyes locking with everyone in turn, from Giles by the window, Miss Parker in a chair in the corner beside Oz, Xander pacing down the other side of the room, to Willow perched on the end of Buffy's bed - the slight blonde slayer lying hooked to an array of different nodes and wires, all connected to various beeping machinery. His gaze settled on the girl's face, finally relaxed and cleared of all traces of what she had been forced to endure for far too long. "I'm sorry," he finally murmured, his gaze lingering on her still features. "There was nothing we could do. Right now the machines are the only thing keeping her alive."
"But.. but she'll be alright. I mean, you can make her better, right?" Willow asked quickly, her face paling as she desperately tried to grab onto one last hope - any hope she could find as her eyes skipped over to take in her best friend. It had been so long since she had seen her last - so long that Willow had begun to secretly take out pictures that she had of Buffy, burning the image into her mind - the one that had begun to fade.
Sighing, Jarod slowly shook his head, his brown eyes meeting the redhead's. "I'm sorry," he repeated, his voice catching slightly over the words, "but the monitors are showing no brain activity."
"Brain dead?" Giles surmised, hearing the words that he had been dreading ever since Lyle's threats had left his lips. Abandoning his post by the window, Giles slowly moved until he was standing beside Xander, who had joined Willow by the bed.
"Yes, I'm sorry," Jarod murmured, hating himself for having to deliver this news.
"Hey, I resent that remark," a woman's unfamiliar voice cut in from behind Jarod, causing him to quickly turn, eyes settling on the dark-haired girl that sat in a wheelchair in the open door, Sydney standing behind her.
For a moment, a stunned silence fell upon the room before Giles shifted, drawing the girl's dark eyes towards his tall frame. "F-Faith?" he stammered, eyes taking in the rogue slayer's pale features before whipping off his glasses and polishing them furiously.
Sighing heavily, the girl's full lips pulled down in an uncharacteristic pout as her eyes met the Watcher's. "I've already played this game," she complained, her voice slightly scratchy as she shifted in the uncomfortable chair. Sighing once again, this time dramatically, she slowly lifted her chin. "No, not Faith. Buffy," she said, her words once more causing a thick silence to fall over the room as what felt like a hundred skeptical gazes were thrown her way. Frowning slightly, she shook her head, dark hair fluttering weakly around her shoulders. "Okay, so not exactly the reunion that I've been imagining all this time," she muttered before a frown pulled at her pale lips. "Well, not that I had really thought that I was ever going to get a reunion," she murmured, a stark pain flashing through her dark eyes for a moment before she forced a smile, "but if I had been planning it, this definitely isn't what I would have been imagining."
Yet the remembered pain wasn't hidden fast enough as Jarod took a halting step forward, eyes probing the girl before him. And then, as dark eyes shifted towards him, he felt the rest of his resolve melt away as he finished the distance between them and knelt on the hard floor beside her chair. He didn't know how it was possible, and even though his brain wasn't quite working with the rest of him at the revelation, Jarod did know one thing - he would recognize the haunted look in the girl's eyes anywhere. He had seen the exact same thing, eyes filled with that much pain, just a few short days ago when he had been imprisoned with Buffy in the Centre. Smiling, Jarod tentatively lifted one hand and placed it gently on her own. "Didn't I tell you that we were going to get out of there somehow?" he asked softly.
Smiling wryly in return, Buffy, obviously in Faith's body, gently squeezed his offered hand, dismayed by how that tiny effort cost her a great deal of energy. "Yeah, but I'm sure that this wasn't really what you had in mind," she said as she gestured to the weakened body that she inhabited.
Returning her grin, Jarod couldn't help his quiet chuckle. "No, not exactly," he admitted before gently pulling her forward into a small hug, noting how it was only minimally returned. Concerned, he pulled away, eyes taking note of her pallor for the first time.
But his inspection went unnoticed as Faith's dark eyes turned towards the other brunette who still sat in the dark corner. "Thank you for bringing my message to my friends," she said, her soft words reaching Miss Parker's ears as a small smile lifted the woman's lips. "You saved her life... I guess both of our lives, now," she amended with a weak shrug.
"You're welcome," Miss Parker replied in kind, her confusion pushed to the side for the moment as she nodded at the frail girl.
But Faith's eyes were already turning past Miss Parker until they rested on her friends, still silent and unmoving, standing beside the tall hospital bed. Tremulously, she tried smiling at them as tears burned her eyes, dark brown orbs meeting each friend in turn - the friends that she hadn't seen in months. The friends that had been the sole thing driving her while imprisoned at the Centre - their memory causing her to never stop fighting, even when there no longer seemed as though there was something to fight for. The ones she had never thought that she'd see again. First came Willow, the redhead's green eyes shimmering with unshed tears, her face a portrait of desperate hope. Then came Xander, a goofy grin straining to break free as his mouth continued to open and close like he couldn't think of what to say for the first time ever. And last came Giles.
Taking a ragged breath, Buffy felt her tears break free and stream down Faith's pale face as everything came crashing down around her - everything that she had lost. Unable to stop the tears once they started, Buffy couldn't help but think of the hell that she had endured alone for so long, couldn't help but think of her mother's eyes, filled with so much love as two bullets took the life from her in a spray of blood that would forever haunt her dreams. And with the memories came the sobs that shook Faith's emaciated form with a severity that rocked the metal chair that held her prisoner - just as drugs, chains, and beatings had held her prisoner for so long.
It was in that moment, as the unbridled pain filled Faith's dark brown eyes, that Giles was finally able to see past the rogue slayer to the girl that he had thought he had lost - to the little girl that had somehow found her way to a safe harbor from the storm of her own body. The girl that he had been unable to see for so long... unable to teach, care for, guide... and most of all, unable to comfort. With that thought Giles was released from his paralysis as he took step after halting step towards her until he stumbled to his knees before the slayer, his own hot tears blinding him. Reaching forward, he tentatively rested one hand on hers, just as Jarod had before him as he recognized his little girl locked within this new shell. "Oh God, Buffy," he whispered raggedly, his voice hoarse with emotion as he quickly pulled her forward and into his embrace, cradling her on his lap on the floor like a child. And as she burrowed against him, her thin frame all but lost amongst his embrace, Giles bent forward and rocked her slightly against him.
"I was so lost," she murmured, her voice soft and muffled against his shirt, damp with her tears. "So lost for so long," she murmured as she tilted her head up and locked gazes with her Watcher. "But then I heard your voice... you brought me back," she whispered before quickly burying her head against his chest once again, her small frame shaking with each teary breath.
And with her admission, Willow and Xander found their own release as they fell to the floor and added their own arms to the mix as the four friends sat together, hugging and crying and grieving for all that they had missed - they had been robbed of this chance for too long. In that moment, embraced from all sides by all those that were left to her in this world, Buffy finally felt like she was home.
With a tired sigh, Buffy rested her head against Xander's shoulder, silently thankful for his strong arm around her waist and Willow's warm hand squeezing her own, the floor cold beneath them and their backs resting against the wall behind. It had taken quite a while for everyone to calm down and for the group to get settled once more, Giles finally releasing her to her friends' care while he paced agitatedly before them. Smiling softly, she realized that he looked exactly as she had pictured him all this time, right down to the glasses that dangled from one hand... well, except for the redness that surrounded his puffy eyes. In all fairness, his eyes weren't the only ones sporting the new look, evidence of the tears - or from allergies, as Xander continued to argue at Willow's teasing, even though it was in the middle of January. None of it mattered - not even the body that lay on the hospital bed beside them, apparently forgotten.
"Buffy, can you please explain what happened to get you like... this," Giles requested, pausing long enough to shoot the girl an apologetic smile.
Or not, Buffy thought with an amused smile as she shifted slightly, finding that even that small movement tired out her heavy limbs. It was a good thing that talking required muscles that hadn't been nearly as affected as the rest of Faith's appendages. At this rate, she doubted that she'd be able to even hold her head up much longer. Now where was that wonderful Slayer healing when you needed it most?
"Buffy?"
Oh right, question. Sighing, Buffy tried to focus on Giles' question, oblivious to her friends' concerned glances. "Whatever he did," she murmured at last, her voice quiet, "it hurt and I became... lost. I don't really remember much," she admitted with a small frown. "But then I heard Giles and I... it hurt," she continued, her voice faltering as Willow squeezed her hand quickly. Smiling at the gesture, Buffy marveled silently at the simple luxury of comfort - the kind of comfort that gives a person the strength to continue on. She had been missing that comfort for what seemed like an eternity. Always alone.
"And then what?" Giles persisted, dragging the dark-haired girl's attention back once again.
"Right, sorry," she murmured, shaking her head weakly as she focused her thoughts. "When I broke free there was so much pain... I couldn't really think past it," she murmured, her dark eyes ducking down to hide the truth - the truth that one thought had given her blazing mind focus. Without even trying, it was too easy for her to remember the feeling of the blade sliding into Lyle's stomach, the look in his eyes as she twisted the knife... and the satisfaction that welled up within her as she killed the man who had killed her mother. The man who had taken her away from all that she had loved and forced her to endure months of cruelty. The only man that she had ever truly feared. She had taken a human life, and the scariest thing about it was the realization that she didn't care.
"Buffy?"
"It was like I was being pushed out," Buffy continued, Faith's dark eyes lifting and flitting across the small hospital room, "and somehow Faith pulled me in."
"Faith?" Xander broke in tentatively from beside her, his voice questioning. Then, seeing the looks he was receiving, he quickly pushed on. "Well, I mean, obviously Faith," he added, waving his free hand at the pale form that he sheltered against his side, "but... well, isn't Faith Psycho-Evil girl? You know, the one who switched teams and tried to kill us all and helped the Mayor achieve big snake-dom?"
"No," Buffy quickly replied, a small frown pulling at her lips, an expression that was all at once familiar yet so strange to see on Faith's face. "Faith isn't crazy at all... not evil either," she added tiredly. "Just... misunderstood."
"Misunderstood?" Willow echoed uncertainly. "Buffy, don't you remember all that she did? She killed a man-"
And even though the words hurt to hear them, Buffy felt something deep within herself stir. "So have I," she murmured, her voice quiet as her eyes slowly turned until they were locked with her best friend's.
"Buffy I didn't mean that," Willow protested, her cheeks flaming scarlet. "Y-you didn't mean-"
"Willow, I meant to kill him," Buffy countered, unable to suppress a shudder at hearing Faith's voice deliver her message with such cold certainty. "And I don't regret it," she added, eyes turning until they locked on Giles' gaze. She couldn't read the expression hidden there, but she imagined that disappointment played a large role. "And you know what? He didn't get half of what he deserved," Buffy continued, unable to stop herself as she dared her Watcher to counter her words.
"Regardless," Oz added, breaking the thick silence that had fallen over the group as Faith's dark eyes shifted to him. "She still switched sides. Almost killed Angel. Would have if you hadn't-"
"We've all made a lot of mistakes," Buffy interrupted softly, her eyes darting back to Giles to ensure that he knew that she wasn't admitting to making one earlier that night. "All of us," she continued as her gaze finally turned to take in all those present. "And if she can forgive me for turning away from her, for making her feel like an outsider so that she had no one else to turn to but the Mayor when things got rough, for not being there when she needed me most, and most of all, for coming so close to killing her and putting her in a coma for so long... well, if she can risk herself by helping like this, then I can certainly try to do the same. We all can," she added, daring her friends to contradict her.
"Risk herself?" Jarod finally asked, his brown eyes probing hers.
"Yeah, Faith's kind of letting me chill here for the time being," Buffy explained with a shrug as her eyes seemed to lose focus, her expression going slack. Concerned, Jarod was about to move forward when she seemed to snap back into reality once again. "But I don't think we have much time," she added, her expression turning even more serious as worry flickered in her brown eyes. "I think that Faith is getting ready to wake up, and when she does... well, I don't think I can hang around past that point."
"So why don't you just go back to your own body then?" Xander asked, her brown head turning to stare up at him with an expression that gave him the chills when coming from Faith's face. "'Cause I gotta admit that this whole Buffy in Faith's body... well, kind of givin' me the wiggins'," he admitted with a small frown.
Returning his frown, Buffy arched an eyebrow in a gesture that was all Faith. "Yeah, well you tell me how and I'll just get crackin'," she retorted, instantly regretting the harshness of her words as Xander flinched as though she had smacked him upside the head. Sighing softly, she smiled apologetically at her friend. Here she had missed her Xander-shaped friend for so long, and what's the first thing she does? Bite his head off. Really off to a great start there. But in her defense, excluding the short conversation she had with Jarod while in the Centre, this was the first time that she actually had the chance to really converse with people in... well, since her capture. Apparently she was a bit rusty on the whole communicate with people aspect... or maybe it had been so long, and so much had happened, that she had forgotten how - or lost the ability completely.
"I don't think it's that easy," Jarod finally added, breaking Buffy from her thoughts as her dark eyes quickly settled on his. "Buffy, when you fought whatever Raines did to you, it fried your neural pathways," he explained slowly, his expression solemn. "And while it may be possible to fix that damage, I wouldn't even know where to start when it came to getting your.. well, you, back where you belong. I'm afraid this is way out of my league and further than any training I've undergone," he admitted as he turned to Sydney, the words unfamiliar to his lips. He had never before been faced with a task that he couldn't handle and it felt foreign to admit that in this case, he was truly helpless.
Nodding slightly, Sydney slowly leaned forward in the stiff chair he occupied, his hands resting on his knees. "I have to agree with Jarod," he said, his accented words carrying softly in the room. "This is outside anything that I've ever seen before. It should have been impossible for Buffy's mind to jump to another body like she did. It is impossible."
Sighing, Giles could only shake his head absently at the older man's words. "If there's one thing that I've learned during these past few years in Sunnydale, it's that anything is possible on the Hellmouth."
"While we're not doubting that," Miss Parker added as she fiddled with a pen absently, her mind trying to block out the image of the monsters that they had faced only hours before, "how does your Hellmouth theory explain this?"
"Not the Hellmouth," Buffy interrupted, her voice firm. "Not this time."
"No," Giles concurred, his eyes flickering back and forth between Faith's dark form and the small girl that rest in the bed beside him. "No, in this case I'd imagine not. The slayer link between Faith and Buffy must be stronger than anyone had even imagined - strong enough to enable the transfer."
"Which is still all well and good," Buffy added, "but once more, how am I supposed to get back when my brain gets fixed? If it gets fixed," she amended, her eyes darting to Jarod before focusing on Giles once more.
Feeling the hope of his Slayer lying with him, Giles tried his best to look both encouraging and reassuring. "We'll think of something," he murmured, almost awkwardly as he quickly whipped off his glasses and began polishing them like mad once again.
Seeing this gesture and Buffy's, or rather, Faith's tell-tale frown, Willow quickly squeezed her hand. "Hey, we'll hit the books while you're getting your brain fixed. It'll be just like old times!... well, except for the whole fixing of the brain," she amended weakly.
"Speaking of which," Xander cut in, his expression turning uncharacteristically serious... or at least, what Buffy considered to be an uncharacteristic trait. For the others, Xander's seriousness had been a sad example of how trying the past months had been on them all. "Has anyone thought about who we're going to get to fix Buffy's brain? I mean, I don't really think Sunnydale's MDs have the kind of experience I'd trust, and I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't happen to know any brain doctors."
"Yes you do," Miss Parker broke in with a small smile as she nodded towards the quiet Pretender.
"Are you serious?" Xander asked for all of the Sunnydale contingent, a new respect shining in his eyes as he eyed the tall man.
"Well, I'm going to have to study up a bit," Jarod admitted with a small shrug, his eyes glancing over to lock with his mentor. "It's been awhile since I've played a neurosurgeon."
"For some reason, 'play' and 'neurosurgeon' just shouldn't be used in the same sentence," Buffy groaned as she leaned heavily against Xander. "This is my brain we're talking about here, people!"
As though seeing her weariness for the first time, Giles nodded his head curtly and crossed the distance to her in just a few long strides. "In the meantime, let's get you somewhere to rest while the rest of us start searching for a way to guide you back," he stated as he gently lifted the girl, ignoring her soft protests before he deposited her back into the wheelchair's unyielding confines. "We'll find a way," he murmured, his eyes catching hers and reading the worry that was portrayed in her dark brown depths - so familiar yet so foreign at the same time. "We didn't get you back just to lose you now," he vowed before arching forward and planting a soft kiss on her temple.
"I know," Buffy whispered in response, her eyes tracing over Giles' tired features. "I know and thank you," she added, meaning so many things with those two simple words before Xander quickly took control of the chair.
"Alright troops, let's head out," he cried out as he pushed the chair into the hospital corridor beyond. "We've got work to do."