A/N: I know, you people are getting very sick of me and these author's
notes but I feel I should warn you all because of this chapter. You see,
there is a suicide attempt in this chapter. Yes, this is the saddest
chapter I'll be writing in my fic so fear not. It gets happier again.
Chapter 22 "The Deed is Done"
I laid on my bed, pretending to be asleep. I knew what I had wanted to do. Guilt and unhappiness filled my mind. I wanted to do this and this time, I was set to do it. I waited until everyone went to bed. I watched as the lights went out one by one. Once they all went out, I got up and grabbed the blue dagger that I treasured so much.
I reached under the bed for the little note that I had written earlier that day. I ran out of the room and out of the layer. I ran until I couldn't run anymore. I wanted to do this and I was going to make sure I wouldn't fail. I dropped to my knees and threw off my wrist guards.
I looked at the blade. A hole showed some lights that shined on my dagger. The dagger was pure metal. The blade glimmered in the light. It was so shiny clean and perfect. Soon, it would be stained, with blood, my blood. I didn't care anymore. I wanted to do this and nothing was going to stop me.
I placed the blade flat against my skin, feeling the coolness of the blade. I suddenly turned the blade to the sharp side against my wrist and pulled it across with swiftness. I let the first cut bleed a bit. I felt the burn. It felt so good. I felt the punishment of not being smarter, better, and loved. I then swiftly pulled the blade across my wrist, cutting deeper. This time, it felt better than before. The blood oozed out of my arm but the pain still made me feel better.
I switched hands and pulled the blade against my other wrist, feeling the burn, enjoying every second of it. I felt better. I don't know why but it felt so incredibly good to feel the burn of the blade. I slit my other wrist slower. I winced in pain. I started to feel very warm. It was a good feeling. I took out a rag that I had brought along to wipe the blade clean of blood when I got to this point.
It won't be long now, I thought. I watched as the blood pored out of my wrists. It felt incredible. The end was coming. I cleaned off my dagger and placed it where I wanted it to be. I started to feel light headed. I smiled. I knew that the blood loss was going to kill me soon. I smiled and closed my eyes. I opened them and saw Alex.
"Alex, I'm sorry. I should be here, not you," I tried to say.
It wasn't long before I passed out, believing that I would never awake again.
Chapter 22 "The Deed is Done"
I laid on my bed, pretending to be asleep. I knew what I had wanted to do. Guilt and unhappiness filled my mind. I wanted to do this and this time, I was set to do it. I waited until everyone went to bed. I watched as the lights went out one by one. Once they all went out, I got up and grabbed the blue dagger that I treasured so much.
I reached under the bed for the little note that I had written earlier that day. I ran out of the room and out of the layer. I ran until I couldn't run anymore. I wanted to do this and I was going to make sure I wouldn't fail. I dropped to my knees and threw off my wrist guards.
I looked at the blade. A hole showed some lights that shined on my dagger. The dagger was pure metal. The blade glimmered in the light. It was so shiny clean and perfect. Soon, it would be stained, with blood, my blood. I didn't care anymore. I wanted to do this and nothing was going to stop me.
I placed the blade flat against my skin, feeling the coolness of the blade. I suddenly turned the blade to the sharp side against my wrist and pulled it across with swiftness. I let the first cut bleed a bit. I felt the burn. It felt so good. I felt the punishment of not being smarter, better, and loved. I then swiftly pulled the blade across my wrist, cutting deeper. This time, it felt better than before. The blood oozed out of my arm but the pain still made me feel better.
I switched hands and pulled the blade against my other wrist, feeling the burn, enjoying every second of it. I felt better. I don't know why but it felt so incredibly good to feel the burn of the blade. I slit my other wrist slower. I winced in pain. I started to feel very warm. It was a good feeling. I took out a rag that I had brought along to wipe the blade clean of blood when I got to this point.
It won't be long now, I thought. I watched as the blood pored out of my wrists. It felt incredible. The end was coming. I cleaned off my dagger and placed it where I wanted it to be. I started to feel light headed. I smiled. I knew that the blood loss was going to kill me soon. I smiled and closed my eyes. I opened them and saw Alex.
"Alex, I'm sorry. I should be here, not you," I tried to say.
It wasn't long before I passed out, believing that I would never awake again.