The muses have set in again. I'm so sorry for torturing you like this.
Shipper Scenes That Will Never Happen
Scene #1:
Harry pondered over his chess dilemma with Ron. In burst Hermione, his true love. How would he ever express his true feelings? Hermione sat down, and opened a book. Suddenly, Harry got it!
"Hermione, look over here." Immediately he turned to the boom box that just so happened to be sitting next to him, and that had been magically bewitched to work in Hogwarts. He turned it to the Nature Channel (Nature sounds, all day, every day!). He immediately started to perform an interpretive dance that finished with him on Hermione's lap. "Hermione, will you go out with me?" Hermione stood up and pushed him off.
"No! I am secretly in love with Goyle, and nothing will stop me from pursuing this!" She ran out of the room. Harry turns to Ron with a dejected look on his face. Suddenly he smiled.
"Hey, there's always Lavender!"
(A/N: In case you were wondering, I can't stand the thought of Harry and Hermione going out.)
Scene #2:
"Draco, with you leather shining so bright, won't you go out with me tonight?" Ginny asked, her eyes pleading.
"Okay!"
"But what about your father?"
"I've placed the Imperius Charm on him, don't worry!" And the two set off merrily to a date.
(A/N: See how much easier this is?)
Scene #3:
Ron was gloomy. Hermione was in Bulgaria with that git, Vicky. Why didn't she love him the way he loved her?
Suddenly, there was a knock on his window. Ron threw it open, and there was Hermione on a broom.
"Hermi!"
"Ron!"
"I love you!" Oops, where had that come from? Hermione stared at him.
"Ron, it's not possible!" Ron was crushed.
"Why not?"
"Because Viktor and I have decided to sell ourselves to Voldemort! I just wanted to say goodbye forever!"
(A/N: In all honesty, I have no clue whatsoever where this came from! I'm actually a R/H shipper myself.)
Scene #4:
Harry and Ginny were together at last! After much battling with emotions and siblings, they had come together, joyous forever. It was a beautiful night, and they were sailing along across the lake in a boat that just happened to be lying there.
"Harry?"
"Yes, my love?"
"I just wanted to tell you.."
"Yes?"
"That I lov-" At this moment, the boat rocked. The great squid popped his head up and swallowed Ginny whole.
(Just so nobody kills me, I'd like to say that H/G is my favorite pairing. It just wouldn't be fair to make fun of any of the other ones and not this one, is it?)
Well, there you go. I can feel my muses withering, so I shall leave you in peace. Until next time, my muse and I bid you bye!(Hoo hoo, that rhymed!) Tata!
P.S. What exactly is snogging?