The Real A/N:  I dun even know how I wrote this.  I hope you enjoy though!  It's supposed to be funny.  Every single mistake, grammatical error, A/N's, etc. are intentional.  Have fun!  And this fic is not intended to make fun of anyone, just to make fun of some of the fanfic we see, that's all.

A/N:  This is my first fanfic ever.  I hope u enjoy.  NO flames pleeze!

Disclaimer:  Everything belongs to Jen Kathy Rowling. 

            "Harry, did you hear?  There's a new girl at Hogwarts.  Her name's Mary Sue."  Hermione said.

            Ron looked at Hermione.  She had really gotten pretty over the summer.  Her hair had magically thinned out, she had grown in all the right places, and she had taken to wearing tank tops around Gryffindor Tower without a care in the world.  He loved her.  "Herm, I love you," he said out loud.

            She looked pleased.  "That's so sweet of you Ron.  I've liked you 2 since the first day at King's Cross.  Kiss me now!"  She jumped into Ron's lap and they started making out in the middle of the common room.

            Harry smiled at Ginny who was across the room, and he realized he liked her.  Of course, he had no reason to, having never talked to her since his second year.  Maybe it was the sun playing on her red hair(A/N:  Ginny's hair is red, right?  I can't remember, I seem to have lost all my Harry Potter books.  I love red hair, it's so sexy.  My crush has red hair.  I think he might like me back.  Oops, I think I'm getting off track.  Teehee, on with the story!).  Ginny smiled back, her eyes filled with gooey sweetness.

            There was a distraction in the form of a devastatingly pretty girl stepping thru the portrait hole.  She made every girl feel jealous and every guy sit up straighter.

            "Hi, y'all.  I'm Mary Sue.  From America," she said.

            "She's hot," Ron said.

            "Hmph," said Hermione.  Mary Sue walked over to Harry and sat down.

            "And you must be Harry Potter.   Delighted to meet you.  I went to wizarding school in America, so I know all about you.  I'm in your year, and I just got sorted into Gryffindor.  Actually, I think I'm taking all 6th year classes.  I'm a year ahead."

            "Are you?" Hermione asked.

            Mary Sue frowned.  "Yes, but I do hate it when people bring their attention to that."

            Hermione pursed her lips.  "I think it's time to go to bed," she said.

*********************************

            Harry groaned.  It was Double Potions with the Slytherins.  He led Mary Sue to the dungeons, Hermione and Ron following.  Ginny glared after them.

            As soon as Mary's(she had asked them to call her that for short) eyes fell on Draco, her blue-gray-green-brown eyes lit up.  "Who's he?  He's really cute," she asked Harry.

            "He's a jerk," he began, but Mary had already started walking over to Draco.  "Hi!" she said extending out her arm.

            Draco looked at her warily.  She was pretty and her long black hair was very pretty.  He wanted to see that hair on his pillow.  "Hello," he said.

            "I'm Mary Sue, but you can call me Mary.  I'm from America."  She smiled and Draco melted.

            "Screw my father," he thought.  "This girl is beautiful.  I want her to have my babys(sp?).  I don't care if she's a Mudblood."  Out loud he said, "So whatcha doing tonight?"

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            Harry watched Mary leave the common room for her date with Malfoy.  He sighed.  He was actually jealous of the little ferret.

            "Hi, Harry," Ginny Weasley said, blushing to the tips of her hair.

            "Hello, Ginny," Harry responded.

            "Harry, I like you," she said giggling

            Harry thought of Mary Sue, and then of Ginny.  He supposed that it would be cool to go out with ginny, after all, if he married her, his brother in law would be Ron, and how cool would that be?

            So he kissed her, and there were 5 happy Gryffindors and 1 happy Slytherin that night.

**************************

It was months later, and Draco was amazed at the change in himself.  He owed it all to Mary.  She was so smart, so kind, so beautiful.  As he was walking down the halls, thinking his thoughts, someone crept out of the darkness and smacked him on the head, rendering him unconcsious.

            Mary was lost.  Where was everyone?  She couldn't find Harry, Ginny, Ron, Hermione, or Draco.  She  walked down the hallways until she saw a one eyes witch moved to the side so that there was a passageway.  She, being curious, stepped into it.  On the other end were hooded figures and her friends, all tied up.  A really scary looking guy turned on her.

            "And who are you?" he asked.

            "Mary Sue, and I will defend my friends."

            "We'll see about that, prepare to duel with Voldmort."  He whipped out his wand and Mary did the same.  They began fighting, Mary easily dodging around Voldmort's curses.  Finally, she yelled, "Avada Kedavra!" putting all her energy into it.  It hit him right in the chest and he disappeared.  But the energy put into it was too much and Mary Sue died as well.

            "I love you Draco," she said as she fell on the floor.

            "NO!" Draco cried.  All the hooded figure disapeared.  He started sobbing.  Their bonds loosened, and Harry, Ginny, Ron, hermione, and Draco got up.  Draco picked up Mary Sue and they walked back to Hogwarts to tell the bittersweet news.

Epilogue:

            Mary Sue was mourned dearly and got a Special School Service Award.  Draco left Hogwarts to become a nun.  Harry and Ginny got married at divorced 3 times, and are ready to get married again.  Ron and Hermione have 15 children.  The world is at peace again

THE END