CHAPTER FIVE
~~~~~~~~~~~~*Meanwhile, In Hyde & Fez's dorm room*~~~~~~~~~~~
"I know I've said this before," Eric said, "But, seriously, whoever created Charlie's Angeles was a TOTAL genius!" Eric joked as he and Hyde stared at the TV.
"Yea..."
"So, Hyde, is Jackie feeling better?"
"Yea. She's all right. It took a couple of days, but she's fine now."
"That's good," Eric said. "Hey, look on the bright side, at least now you don't have to marry her!"
Hyde looked over at him, "Huh?"
"I mean I'm glad you decided to do the right thing when Jackie was pregnant, but she's not now, so..."
"I didn't ask Jackie to marry me just because she was pregnant, Foreman," Hyde said flatly.
"Yea, man, whatever. Anyway, I'm just glad I don't have to wear a stupid suit now."
"Look Foreman, I'm not calling off the wedding if that's what you think!"
"WHAT! Why NOT? You hate weddings! You said marriage was a tool of the government!"
"You know what," Hyde said as he got up from the couch, "I really don't feel like talking about this anymore."
~~~~~~~~~~~*Later that afternoon, in Kelso and George's Room*~~~~~~~~~
"Man, where's Hyde?" Kelso asked.
"He's not coming," Fez answered. "He's at home. He said Jackie was coming over."
"Whatever, man. He is SO going to miss out," Kelso said.
"What's the big deal, dude?" George asked.
"Yea, Kelso. Why did I HAVE to come over right away?" Eric asked curiously.
"This is why!" Kelso said triumphantly as he held up a plastic bag.
"What's the big deal?" Fez asked. "They're just mushrooms. Are you cooking for us?"
"Fez!" Kelso yelled, "these are AREN'T just mushrooms. There SPECIAL mushrooms."
"Ohhhhhhh. 'Special' mushrooms," Fez said as he grabbed a mushroom out of the bag and popped it in his mouth. "AYE! I don't see what is so SPECIAL about these mushrooms. They taste TERRIBLE!"
"Duh Fez. That's what the Cheetos are for," Kelso said as he held up a big bag of them. "You pop some in your mouth, then you put the mushrooms in and chew them together. Like this..." he said as he demonstrated.
They all grabbed and handful of Cheetos and a mushroom and started chewing really fast. "Drink some Coke to wash it down," Kelso said as he opened one.
They passed the Coke around the circle.
"That wasn't so bad," Eric said after he swallowed.
"Blah!" George yelled as he reached for the Coke.
Kelso smiled. "Ok, we've got about an hour or so before that kicks in. Just remember, no matter what happens later, fire can burn, you can't fly, and cars are real."
Eric and George repeated after Kelso while Fez stared at them, still confused.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*About an hour later*~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Kelso," Eric said, "Are you sure those were 'special' mushrooms?"
"Yea man. That's what they guy said."
"Which guy?" George asked.
"Hey! When did you get a pet frog?" Fez asked as he held up his newfound friend. "I will call him Mr. Ribbits. Are you hungry Mr. Ribbits?"
Eric, George and Kelso laughed as they sank into the couch. Suddenly, everything started to feel...special. Eric stared out the window while George and Kelso watched Fez feed Mr. Ribbits some dead bugs he found on the windowsill.
~~~~~~~~~~*Meanwhile, In Hyde's Room*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jackie walked into Hyde's room and sat down next to him on the couch. He absentmindedly took her hand in his and immediately noticed that she wasn't wearing her ring.
"Here," she said plainly as she dropped the ring into his hand.
"Ja..." he started, but she cut him off.
"Steven, please don't make this any harder than it already is."
She paused and took a deep breath. "Look, I really appreciate you giving me that ring. But, circumstances have changed. I know that. Marriage is not something we planned on, or ever even talked about, so...I'm giving this back to you, ok?"
Her eyes held no emotion. He wanted to say something, but the words were stuck in his throat.
She waited a minute for him to respond, but soon realized he wasn't going to say anything. "Thank you for giving it to me," she said as she squeezed his hand.
"See you later," she mumbled as she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and then left the room.
He just sat there, holding the ring in his hand, not sure what to do.
Half of him felt relieved. It was all over, he wasn't going to be a dad, and he wasn't going to be a husband. But the other half of him just felt numb.
~~~~~~~~~~*The next day*~~~~~~~~~~
"Where am I?" Fez asked as he tried to lift his head off the sticky floor.
"Finally!" George said as he lifted Fez's head off the ground. "We were starting to think you were going to sleep all day."
"What?" Fez said as he struggled to open his eyes. He looked down and realized he was lying in a sea of crushed up Cheeto dust.
"What's this? Fez asked as he looked at the moldy lime he was holding in his hand.
"Oh, you mean Mr. Ribbits?" Kelso mocked.
"What?" Fez murmured shaking his head. He almost felt like he was still sleeping.
"Come on Fez. I'll take you to get something to eat. That should make you feel better," George said as he helped Fez to his feet.
"Yea, come on little buddy," Kelso said as opened the door. "You'll be o.k. once you get some pancakes."
~~~~~~~~~~~*Meanwhile, back in Hyde's Room*~~~~~~~~~
"Hyde, are you in there?" Donna said as she knocked on his door.
Hyde opened the door. He was wearing his sunglasses. "Oh, hey Donna."
He walked back across the room and plopped down on the couch.
She shut the door behind her and went to sit next to him.
"So," she started, "how've you been?"
"Fine," he replied as he turned the TV on.
"I talked to Jackie."
He looked up at her, but didn't say anything.
"The past few weeks have been pretty intense, huh?" she asked.
"Look Donna, I'm trying to watch this, so if you don't mind.."
Donna glanced over at the TV. "Donahue? Really? I didn't realize you liked this show..." she said, giggling.
Damn! Why did Donahue have to be on? "Look, Donna if you came over to check up on me, don't bother. I'm fine."
"Huh?" she said, slightly confused.
"I thought you said you talked to Jackie?"
"I did."
"O.k. whatever," Hyde said. Now he was confused.
"Can you believe how mature Jackie is being about the whole thing though?"
Hyde wasn't sure what she meant by that, but decided to play it off.
"How did you think she would be?" he asked, surprised at how clever he could be, even when he was this high.
"Well, she wanted to get married so bad. All she talked about was how great being married to you was gonna be and how she had never been this happy in her life, you know, blah, blah, blah..."
Hyde tried to hide his shock. Good thing he had his sunglasses on. He decided just to nod in acknowledgement, hoping it would be enough to get Donna to continue.
Fortunately it was. "Giving up that ring was probably the hardest thing she's ever done," she said. "But, she did it, because she knew it was what you wanted. I didn't realize how much she's grown up over the last year."
'What I wanted?!?' he thought.
"Donna. Listen, I gotta go. I'm late for class," he said as he ran out the door.
"Hyde! You forgot your backpack!" Donna yelled after him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~*Meanwhile, in the cafeteria*~~~~~~~~~~~
"So, Jackie," Kelso said, with the fake deep voice he always used when he was trying to sound mature or sexy. "I hear you broke it off with Hyde. How about you and I start things up again?"
"Shut up Michael!" as she pushed her lunch tray across the table.
"Damn Jackie! I was kidding! I'm just trying to lighten the mood. You seem kind of depressed or something. How bout I take you to the movies? That always used to cheer you up."
"Ok," she relented. She didn't really feel like moping her dorm room anymore. "I need to get something else to eat anyway. I hate this cafeteria food."
"Michael?" she asked as they got up from the table, "Do you think you'll ever have a family?"
"I have a family Jackie. You know them. They live in Point Place."
"No you idiot! I mean a family of your own. You know, do you think you'll get married and have kids and all that?"
"Well...yea, I guess. I mean, isn't that what everyone does?"
"Not everyone..." she said as she gazed off into space.
Just then Fez and George walked up. George was carrying two plates of pancakes.
"Where are you two going?" George asked as Fez clasped upon the table.
"Movies. Come on Jackie," he said as he tried to figure out what she was staring at. "We're gonna be late."
"O.K." She said as she followed him outside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*Two hours later*~~~~~~~~~
"That was such a good movie!" Jackie exclaimed as she and Kelso strolled out of the theater. "Thanks for taking me. It really cheered me up."
"No problem. I like seeing you happy Jackie. You've just seemed kind of, I don't know, down, lately."
"Well thanks Michael. That's sweet of you. You know, I forgot that you can actually be a pretty decent guy when you want to be."
Kelso opened the passenger door of the van for Jackie.
"Thank you," she said as she got in.
As he walked around the van toward the driver's seat, he noticed someone watching them from across the street.
Hyde was sitting on a bench outside the Pizza Pit, eating a slice of pepperoni, when he saw Jackie come out of the theater with Kelso.
He watched Kelso open the door for Jackie and then walk around the van and get in the drivers seat.
"Hey Jackie," Kelso said as got into his seat. "How about a hug?"
"Um, ok Michael."
He leaned over and put his arm around her. Then, without any warning, he turned his head and kissed her full on the mouth.
Hyde jumped up and dropped his pizza on the ground. He stood there, frozen for a second and then turned and calmly walked away.
"Hyde!" Eric yelled. He and Donna had just walked out of the Pizza Pit carrying their slices. They were about to join Hyde on the benches when they noticed him staring at something across the street. They looked up just in time to see Kelso kiss Jackie.
"Let him go Eric," Donna said as grabbed his arm.
~~~~~~~~*Inside the van*~~~~~~~~
"Michael! Jackie screamed as she pushed him off of her. "What is wrong with you?" She slapped him, hard.
"Damn Jackie!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*
~~~~~~~~~~~~*Meanwhile, In Hyde & Fez's dorm room*~~~~~~~~~~~
"I know I've said this before," Eric said, "But, seriously, whoever created Charlie's Angeles was a TOTAL genius!" Eric joked as he and Hyde stared at the TV.
"Yea..."
"So, Hyde, is Jackie feeling better?"
"Yea. She's all right. It took a couple of days, but she's fine now."
"That's good," Eric said. "Hey, look on the bright side, at least now you don't have to marry her!"
Hyde looked over at him, "Huh?"
"I mean I'm glad you decided to do the right thing when Jackie was pregnant, but she's not now, so..."
"I didn't ask Jackie to marry me just because she was pregnant, Foreman," Hyde said flatly.
"Yea, man, whatever. Anyway, I'm just glad I don't have to wear a stupid suit now."
"Look Foreman, I'm not calling off the wedding if that's what you think!"
"WHAT! Why NOT? You hate weddings! You said marriage was a tool of the government!"
"You know what," Hyde said as he got up from the couch, "I really don't feel like talking about this anymore."
~~~~~~~~~~~*Later that afternoon, in Kelso and George's Room*~~~~~~~~~
"Man, where's Hyde?" Kelso asked.
"He's not coming," Fez answered. "He's at home. He said Jackie was coming over."
"Whatever, man. He is SO going to miss out," Kelso said.
"What's the big deal, dude?" George asked.
"Yea, Kelso. Why did I HAVE to come over right away?" Eric asked curiously.
"This is why!" Kelso said triumphantly as he held up a plastic bag.
"What's the big deal?" Fez asked. "They're just mushrooms. Are you cooking for us?"
"Fez!" Kelso yelled, "these are AREN'T just mushrooms. There SPECIAL mushrooms."
"Ohhhhhhh. 'Special' mushrooms," Fez said as he grabbed a mushroom out of the bag and popped it in his mouth. "AYE! I don't see what is so SPECIAL about these mushrooms. They taste TERRIBLE!"
"Duh Fez. That's what the Cheetos are for," Kelso said as he held up a big bag of them. "You pop some in your mouth, then you put the mushrooms in and chew them together. Like this..." he said as he demonstrated.
They all grabbed and handful of Cheetos and a mushroom and started chewing really fast. "Drink some Coke to wash it down," Kelso said as he opened one.
They passed the Coke around the circle.
"That wasn't so bad," Eric said after he swallowed.
"Blah!" George yelled as he reached for the Coke.
Kelso smiled. "Ok, we've got about an hour or so before that kicks in. Just remember, no matter what happens later, fire can burn, you can't fly, and cars are real."
Eric and George repeated after Kelso while Fez stared at them, still confused.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*About an hour later*~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Kelso," Eric said, "Are you sure those were 'special' mushrooms?"
"Yea man. That's what they guy said."
"Which guy?" George asked.
"Hey! When did you get a pet frog?" Fez asked as he held up his newfound friend. "I will call him Mr. Ribbits. Are you hungry Mr. Ribbits?"
Eric, George and Kelso laughed as they sank into the couch. Suddenly, everything started to feel...special. Eric stared out the window while George and Kelso watched Fez feed Mr. Ribbits some dead bugs he found on the windowsill.
~~~~~~~~~~*Meanwhile, In Hyde's Room*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jackie walked into Hyde's room and sat down next to him on the couch. He absentmindedly took her hand in his and immediately noticed that she wasn't wearing her ring.
"Here," she said plainly as she dropped the ring into his hand.
"Ja..." he started, but she cut him off.
"Steven, please don't make this any harder than it already is."
She paused and took a deep breath. "Look, I really appreciate you giving me that ring. But, circumstances have changed. I know that. Marriage is not something we planned on, or ever even talked about, so...I'm giving this back to you, ok?"
Her eyes held no emotion. He wanted to say something, but the words were stuck in his throat.
She waited a minute for him to respond, but soon realized he wasn't going to say anything. "Thank you for giving it to me," she said as she squeezed his hand.
"See you later," she mumbled as she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and then left the room.
He just sat there, holding the ring in his hand, not sure what to do.
Half of him felt relieved. It was all over, he wasn't going to be a dad, and he wasn't going to be a husband. But the other half of him just felt numb.
~~~~~~~~~~*The next day*~~~~~~~~~~
"Where am I?" Fez asked as he tried to lift his head off the sticky floor.
"Finally!" George said as he lifted Fez's head off the ground. "We were starting to think you were going to sleep all day."
"What?" Fez said as he struggled to open his eyes. He looked down and realized he was lying in a sea of crushed up Cheeto dust.
"What's this? Fez asked as he looked at the moldy lime he was holding in his hand.
"Oh, you mean Mr. Ribbits?" Kelso mocked.
"What?" Fez murmured shaking his head. He almost felt like he was still sleeping.
"Come on Fez. I'll take you to get something to eat. That should make you feel better," George said as he helped Fez to his feet.
"Yea, come on little buddy," Kelso said as opened the door. "You'll be o.k. once you get some pancakes."
~~~~~~~~~~~*Meanwhile, back in Hyde's Room*~~~~~~~~~
"Hyde, are you in there?" Donna said as she knocked on his door.
Hyde opened the door. He was wearing his sunglasses. "Oh, hey Donna."
He walked back across the room and plopped down on the couch.
She shut the door behind her and went to sit next to him.
"So," she started, "how've you been?"
"Fine," he replied as he turned the TV on.
"I talked to Jackie."
He looked up at her, but didn't say anything.
"The past few weeks have been pretty intense, huh?" she asked.
"Look Donna, I'm trying to watch this, so if you don't mind.."
Donna glanced over at the TV. "Donahue? Really? I didn't realize you liked this show..." she said, giggling.
Damn! Why did Donahue have to be on? "Look, Donna if you came over to check up on me, don't bother. I'm fine."
"Huh?" she said, slightly confused.
"I thought you said you talked to Jackie?"
"I did."
"O.k. whatever," Hyde said. Now he was confused.
"Can you believe how mature Jackie is being about the whole thing though?"
Hyde wasn't sure what she meant by that, but decided to play it off.
"How did you think she would be?" he asked, surprised at how clever he could be, even when he was this high.
"Well, she wanted to get married so bad. All she talked about was how great being married to you was gonna be and how she had never been this happy in her life, you know, blah, blah, blah..."
Hyde tried to hide his shock. Good thing he had his sunglasses on. He decided just to nod in acknowledgement, hoping it would be enough to get Donna to continue.
Fortunately it was. "Giving up that ring was probably the hardest thing she's ever done," she said. "But, she did it, because she knew it was what you wanted. I didn't realize how much she's grown up over the last year."
'What I wanted?!?' he thought.
"Donna. Listen, I gotta go. I'm late for class," he said as he ran out the door.
"Hyde! You forgot your backpack!" Donna yelled after him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~*Meanwhile, in the cafeteria*~~~~~~~~~~~
"So, Jackie," Kelso said, with the fake deep voice he always used when he was trying to sound mature or sexy. "I hear you broke it off with Hyde. How about you and I start things up again?"
"Shut up Michael!" as she pushed her lunch tray across the table.
"Damn Jackie! I was kidding! I'm just trying to lighten the mood. You seem kind of depressed or something. How bout I take you to the movies? That always used to cheer you up."
"Ok," she relented. She didn't really feel like moping her dorm room anymore. "I need to get something else to eat anyway. I hate this cafeteria food."
"Michael?" she asked as they got up from the table, "Do you think you'll ever have a family?"
"I have a family Jackie. You know them. They live in Point Place."
"No you idiot! I mean a family of your own. You know, do you think you'll get married and have kids and all that?"
"Well...yea, I guess. I mean, isn't that what everyone does?"
"Not everyone..." she said as she gazed off into space.
Just then Fez and George walked up. George was carrying two plates of pancakes.
"Where are you two going?" George asked as Fez clasped upon the table.
"Movies. Come on Jackie," he said as he tried to figure out what she was staring at. "We're gonna be late."
"O.K." She said as she followed him outside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*Two hours later*~~~~~~~~~
"That was such a good movie!" Jackie exclaimed as she and Kelso strolled out of the theater. "Thanks for taking me. It really cheered me up."
"No problem. I like seeing you happy Jackie. You've just seemed kind of, I don't know, down, lately."
"Well thanks Michael. That's sweet of you. You know, I forgot that you can actually be a pretty decent guy when you want to be."
Kelso opened the passenger door of the van for Jackie.
"Thank you," she said as she got in.
As he walked around the van toward the driver's seat, he noticed someone watching them from across the street.
Hyde was sitting on a bench outside the Pizza Pit, eating a slice of pepperoni, when he saw Jackie come out of the theater with Kelso.
He watched Kelso open the door for Jackie and then walk around the van and get in the drivers seat.
"Hey Jackie," Kelso said as got into his seat. "How about a hug?"
"Um, ok Michael."
He leaned over and put his arm around her. Then, without any warning, he turned his head and kissed her full on the mouth.
Hyde jumped up and dropped his pizza on the ground. He stood there, frozen for a second and then turned and calmly walked away.
"Hyde!" Eric yelled. He and Donna had just walked out of the Pizza Pit carrying their slices. They were about to join Hyde on the benches when they noticed him staring at something across the street. They looked up just in time to see Kelso kiss Jackie.
"Let him go Eric," Donna said as grabbed his arm.
~~~~~~~~*Inside the van*~~~~~~~~
"Michael! Jackie screamed as she pushed him off of her. "What is wrong with you?" She slapped him, hard.
"Damn Jackie!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*