To: sanchezm@losvegas.net
From: mcguiree@nyc.net
Date: 3-24-16 8:23 p.m.
Subj: I saw him today
Miranda,
For the last 8 years I have been imagining what it would be like if I heard from Gordo again. If I ever saw his face, or saw his handwriting on a letter. Would he be tender and kind, or would his face darken with anger upon catching my eye? Would his words be filled with regret or would he think that I got what I deserved (separation from him, the man that I love)? Would we make up and find hope together or part none the better?
Today I found the answers to each question.
I was supposed to be in meetings all day when my mother called. She needed me to come home. Mr. Gordon had been in an accident and, since Dad is in Washington on business, she wondered if I could go out there with her and accompany her on the hospital visits.
And despite every reason I could think of not to go, there were two reasons for that prevailed:
1) My mother needed me, and it's been years since I've been home.
2) There was a tiny piece of me that ached for the opportunity to see Gordo once again.
So I went, and the moment I stepped off the plane and into the arms of my mother, I knew that I had made the right decision.
As we drove to the hospital, she asked me all the appropriate questions, steering clear of any and all related to love. I suspect she knows, or guesses, that my feelings for Gordo are as they always were.
She didn't make me enter Mr. Gordon's room, I was pleased to note, as I situated myself in the waiting room, thumbing through a magazine.
That is, until a shadow darkened the page.
Guess who.
I was so surprised, that all I could do was gawk, and think, 'His hair is still curly.' Yes, I am sure that if you saw the love of your life for the first time in years the first thought you would have would be of his hair.
"Where's your husband?" he asked, snapping me quick out of my daze.
Okay, I'm a freak. Because, despite the fact that I have been rehearsing forever how to explain about the Not-Really-Married thing, my abrupt reply was, "Not here."
He nodded, still hovering over me.
Finally I stood. After all these years we were still eye-to-eye. "I'm sorry about your dad." Although truer words had rarely been spoken, they sounded false to my ears.
He nodded in reply and then said, "Is that why you're here?"
"My mom needed me." Kinda like I need you. Only, I didn't say that part aloud.
"She's been a good friend to my family. Both her and your dad."
"She loves them like blood."
"They feel the same way about your parents." He paused and then added, "And you."
Oh, Miranda, the guilt that surged my heart. "I'm sorry," I whispered.
"It's okay," he answered, his voice hoarse. "You made your choice."
"No, I…. Look, Gordo…."
He stared, waiting for me to finish.
All I had to do was tell him the truth. About the almost-wedding, about my love for him… But I couldn't.
"Gordo… I…. I was really impressed with your movie."
His eyes flickered. How many times, I found myself wondering, did he ALMOST say the way he felt, back in middle school when his feelings were unrequited only to finish with something completely random and, frankly, stupid? He'd told me of several instances. So maybe he understood, maybe he got it, and I wouldn't HAVE to say it. Maybe he'd just know.
I wasn't prepared for him to suddenly reach out, and pull me close, holding me so tight I forgot where I was. I wasn't prepared for the tears that were slipping unchecked down my cheek. And I wasn't prepared when he released me.
"I've got to go," he murmured and walked away, towards his father's hospital room.
And that was it. He didn't come back through and finally Mom returned and told me we could go. If he'd told them what had transpired between us, she gave no indication.
And if she saw me swallow back the sobs threatening to submerge, she pretended not to.
-Lizzie
To: mcguiree@nyc.net
From: sanchezm@losvegas.net
Date: 3-25-16 9:59 a.m.
Subj: Yep, you are nuts.
Lizzie!
All I've heard for the last, like, 8 years was how much you missed Gordo, how big a mistake you made, what you would give to just tell him the truth and be done with it. And now God, for whatever reason, has deemed your plight worth His consideration and all you can do is lie again?! You ARE crazy! Did it not occur to you that he might love you back?
No, I guess not, as that is usually the case. Boy meets girl, girl loves boy, girl and boy break up, girl and boy still love each other, girl gets engaged to another boy, girl cannot marry other boy because of feelings for first boy, girl refuses to tell boy that she didn't marry other boy, girl refuses to tell lover boy where she is, girl sees boy at hospital, girl hugs boy, girl doesn't tell boy truth… Yep, Lizzie, your story could be a freaking nursery rhyme.
LOL
Look, the fact is, you either threaten to carve Mr. Gordon open with a fork if he doesn't tell you where to find Gordo, and you get your sorry butt (and I mean that rather literally) over to him and beg for forgiveness or SHUT UP!!!!! J/K!
As for my life, it's been surprisingly calm. Jordan is getting on my nerves, and despite the fact that we have only been dating for two weeks, I am starting to feel my commitment issues resurface. He'll be gone by next week, I suspect, to make room for the new "Miranda's Man." There is an attractive doctor that lives next door to me, and I'm starting to feel the effects of a headache that just NEEDS to be treated. ;)
You know that whatever you decide I am behind you 100 percent. As a great advice columnist I knew said, "Just follow your heart."
~Miranda
From: mcguiree@nyc.net
Date: 3-24-16 8:23 p.m.
Subj: I saw him today
Miranda,
For the last 8 years I have been imagining what it would be like if I heard from Gordo again. If I ever saw his face, or saw his handwriting on a letter. Would he be tender and kind, or would his face darken with anger upon catching my eye? Would his words be filled with regret or would he think that I got what I deserved (separation from him, the man that I love)? Would we make up and find hope together or part none the better?
Today I found the answers to each question.
I was supposed to be in meetings all day when my mother called. She needed me to come home. Mr. Gordon had been in an accident and, since Dad is in Washington on business, she wondered if I could go out there with her and accompany her on the hospital visits.
And despite every reason I could think of not to go, there were two reasons for that prevailed:
1) My mother needed me, and it's been years since I've been home.
2) There was a tiny piece of me that ached for the opportunity to see Gordo once again.
So I went, and the moment I stepped off the plane and into the arms of my mother, I knew that I had made the right decision.
As we drove to the hospital, she asked me all the appropriate questions, steering clear of any and all related to love. I suspect she knows, or guesses, that my feelings for Gordo are as they always were.
She didn't make me enter Mr. Gordon's room, I was pleased to note, as I situated myself in the waiting room, thumbing through a magazine.
That is, until a shadow darkened the page.
Guess who.
I was so surprised, that all I could do was gawk, and think, 'His hair is still curly.' Yes, I am sure that if you saw the love of your life for the first time in years the first thought you would have would be of his hair.
"Where's your husband?" he asked, snapping me quick out of my daze.
Okay, I'm a freak. Because, despite the fact that I have been rehearsing forever how to explain about the Not-Really-Married thing, my abrupt reply was, "Not here."
He nodded, still hovering over me.
Finally I stood. After all these years we were still eye-to-eye. "I'm sorry about your dad." Although truer words had rarely been spoken, they sounded false to my ears.
He nodded in reply and then said, "Is that why you're here?"
"My mom needed me." Kinda like I need you. Only, I didn't say that part aloud.
"She's been a good friend to my family. Both her and your dad."
"She loves them like blood."
"They feel the same way about your parents." He paused and then added, "And you."
Oh, Miranda, the guilt that surged my heart. "I'm sorry," I whispered.
"It's okay," he answered, his voice hoarse. "You made your choice."
"No, I…. Look, Gordo…."
He stared, waiting for me to finish.
All I had to do was tell him the truth. About the almost-wedding, about my love for him… But I couldn't.
"Gordo… I…. I was really impressed with your movie."
His eyes flickered. How many times, I found myself wondering, did he ALMOST say the way he felt, back in middle school when his feelings were unrequited only to finish with something completely random and, frankly, stupid? He'd told me of several instances. So maybe he understood, maybe he got it, and I wouldn't HAVE to say it. Maybe he'd just know.
I wasn't prepared for him to suddenly reach out, and pull me close, holding me so tight I forgot where I was. I wasn't prepared for the tears that were slipping unchecked down my cheek. And I wasn't prepared when he released me.
"I've got to go," he murmured and walked away, towards his father's hospital room.
And that was it. He didn't come back through and finally Mom returned and told me we could go. If he'd told them what had transpired between us, she gave no indication.
And if she saw me swallow back the sobs threatening to submerge, she pretended not to.
-Lizzie
To: mcguiree@nyc.net
From: sanchezm@losvegas.net
Date: 3-25-16 9:59 a.m.
Subj: Yep, you are nuts.
Lizzie!
All I've heard for the last, like, 8 years was how much you missed Gordo, how big a mistake you made, what you would give to just tell him the truth and be done with it. And now God, for whatever reason, has deemed your plight worth His consideration and all you can do is lie again?! You ARE crazy! Did it not occur to you that he might love you back?
No, I guess not, as that is usually the case. Boy meets girl, girl loves boy, girl and boy break up, girl and boy still love each other, girl gets engaged to another boy, girl cannot marry other boy because of feelings for first boy, girl refuses to tell boy that she didn't marry other boy, girl refuses to tell lover boy where she is, girl sees boy at hospital, girl hugs boy, girl doesn't tell boy truth… Yep, Lizzie, your story could be a freaking nursery rhyme.
LOL
Look, the fact is, you either threaten to carve Mr. Gordon open with a fork if he doesn't tell you where to find Gordo, and you get your sorry butt (and I mean that rather literally) over to him and beg for forgiveness or SHUT UP!!!!! J/K!
As for my life, it's been surprisingly calm. Jordan is getting on my nerves, and despite the fact that we have only been dating for two weeks, I am starting to feel my commitment issues resurface. He'll be gone by next week, I suspect, to make room for the new "Miranda's Man." There is an attractive doctor that lives next door to me, and I'm starting to feel the effects of a headache that just NEEDS to be treated. ;)
You know that whatever you decide I am behind you 100 percent. As a great advice columnist I knew said, "Just follow your heart."
~Miranda