Disclaimer: I wish I did, but I don't. Don't sue me please. It wouldn't do you any good. I own a gel pen and a box of poptarts. And the poptarts are stale.
Rating: PG-13. I'm not sure if it actually qualifies as PG-13 (it's more PG) but I'm just gonna be safe here.
A/N: Okay, when I watched "There's the Rub" I couldn't help thinking what could've happened between Jess and Rory if Paris wasn't there. Now, it's not that I don't like Paris, quite the contrary, she's one of my favorite characters, and I really liked her interaction with Jess. *But* I found myself screaming, "GO HOME!" at my television set when she decided to stay for dinner.
For those of you who haven't seen "There's the Rub," first of all, I pity you. It's a great episode. Download it somewhere. And secondly, here's a teeny summary so you know what's going on:
There is construction going on upstairs in the diner to make Luke and Jess's living space larger, and as a result, there's pretty much chaos there. Lorelai's mom wins free passes to a spa for the weekend, and offers them to Lorelai, at which point Lorelai accidentally makes her want to come too. So they're at the spa together, leaving Rory alone for the weekend. Dean wants to spend time with her, but she has already decided that she wants to hang out and do her laundry just the way she wants it, and just be by herself since she never gets the house to herself.
Okay, now on with the fic :)
Rory was in heaven. Sitting in the middle of her living room surrounded by piles of laundry, her "Cheesiest songs of the 80s" CD blaring, she sighed happily. She couldn't help but feel a little guilty as she thought of her mother suffering through a weekend with her grandma, but it was a fleeting thought. She had already separated her colors into their various shades of darkness, and had started the first load in the washing machine. Now it was on T-shirts. She hummed along to Wang Chung's "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" as she worked.
Just then the doorbell rang. Rory froze. She knew it couldn't be Sandeep's. She had just ordered her food from them, and they told her it would be forty minutes, which of course actually meant at least an hour, but that was besides the point. Either way it wasn't Sandeep's. She looked down at her puppy dog pajamas and ran her fingers through her mussed hair before getting up and cautiously approaching the door. She turned the handle and opened it to reveal…
"Jess?"
"Delivery!" Jess said loudly, barging his way into the house.
"What are you doing here?" Rory asked, following him into her kitchen.
"Well, Luke figured since you're alone tonight that maybe you wouldn't have any food in the house, so he sent over a care package," he answered, dropping a large box of food on her kitchen table.
"I don't need a care package. I just ordered from Sandeep's."
"Really? Planning on burning down the house afterwards?"
"Jess."
"The only way to kill the smell."
"Jess, you have to go. Thank Luke for the food, but I don't need it tonight."
Rory picked up the box of food and went to hand it back to Jess but he put up his hands and backed away.
"Hey, what's going on here? Did you really just refuse to accept free food? Yet another sign of the oncoming apocalypse."
"You know I think you're right. Just this morning I saw the four horses of the apocalypse trotting through Taylor's flowerbed. Boy is he gonna be mad. Hey, I have an idea! Why don't you go over to his house so you can see his reaction. And take the food with you."
Jess ignored her.
"Oh my God, is Wang Chung playing?"
Rory felt her cheeks getting hot. Why hadn't she turned the music off before she answered the door? She mentally kicked herself.
"It's an 80s anthology."
"Oh yeah, this is definitely a classic."
"It's nice to know that you can appreciate Wang Chung's sophisticated musical talent, but I really think you should go now."
"Why?"
"What?"
"Why are you so eager to get rid of me?" Jess asked curiously.
Rory blushed again.
"Well first of all, I'm in my pajamas."
"Hmm, puppies," Jess commented, letting his eyes run over her. Rory squirmed uncomfortably. "Well, it's not exactly formal wear, but—"
"And secondly," Rory said, raising her voice over his. "This is supposed to be my chill out night. I'm just doing my laundry and relaxing."
"And listening to bad 80s music."
"Yes."
Jess nodded. "Well okay, then I insist on a tip."
"What?"
Jess smirked and sat down at the kitchen table.
"I came all the way out here to do something nice, and you just send me away without so much as a tip? Tsk tsk, Rory."
Rory rolled her eyes and snorted. "You want money?"
"There are other ways that you could show your gratitude," Jess replied, wagging his eyebrows suggestively.
"Out." Rory said, glaring at him.
"Hey, I was just kidding. How about if I hang out here and help you do your laundry."
"What?"
"I promise I'll be a good little boy. Besides, I'm good at laundry."
"How would this be like a tip for you? You like doing laundry?"
"Well, I don't think I can stand being in that diner much longer. I'm dodging chunks of ceiling left and right. I might have permanent head trauma."
"That would explain a lot," Rory said matter-of-factly.
"Ouch. Now I don't think I deserved that. Here I am being a nice guy offering to help you do your chores, and I get insulted."
"My heart goes out to you."
"Hey, I'm really good at doing laundry. When you have an alcoholic, schizo mother you sort of have to learn early how to do these types of things."
Rory looked closely at Jess. He was leaning back in the chair nonchalantly, arm dangling at his side, feet spread wide out in front of him. He was the picture of apathy. But when she looked into his eyes, she saw a pleading look. He really didn't want to go home. Rory convinced herself that it was because of the construction and not because of her. She sighed loudly.
"Fine. You can help, but I have a very specific way I like things done. Right now I'm sorting T-shirts."
"You have a specific way of sorting T-shirts?" Jess asked skeptically.
"Three piles; one for white T-shirts, one for colored T-shirts, and one for T-shirts with some kind of writing on them."
"Ooookay then."
"Hey, if you're going to mock me then you can leave," Rory said, arms crossed.
"I'm hurt that you would accuse me of mockery," Jess said, feigning outrage. "There's nothing wrong with your laundry sorting method. In fact, my friend Anal McNutty does his laundry the exact same way."
"Have fun dodging debris," Rory said, pointing to the door.
"Hey come on, I was kidding," Jess said, flashing her an innocent smile.
Rory rolled her eyes, but found herself smiling too.
"Okay then, come on, let's finish sorting my T-shirts."
"And let all this food go to waste?" Jess said, gesturing to the giant box of Luke's food. "The laundry can wait. Let's start on the food."
"I told you I already have food coming."
"Well, you can eat both."
Rory gave him a doubtful look.
"What? I've seen you eat Rory. You could polish off this entire box of Luke's stuff and still have enough room for your Indian food."
"Well, fine. But I really want to finish sorting the T-shirts first."
"Rory, you know as well as I do that if we wait much longer we'll be having reheated french fries. Nobody wants that."
Rory made a face. "Ew. Reheated french fries."
"Exactly. But I'll tell you what. We can bring this stuff into the living room and sort while we eat."
Rory sighed and threw her arms up in the air.
"Fine, bring the box over. I'm going to get changed."
"But the puppies are so classy!"
Rory glared at Jess, but she couldn't stop the smile that crept onto her face as she went into her room.
Rory and Jess moved to the living room and sat on the floor next to each other. After distributing the food in Luke's box, they started the sorting.
"Okay, this T-shirt is white, but it also has writing on it. Which pile?"
"Any T-shirt with writing on it goes into the 'T-shirt with writing on it' pile."
"Wait, so you separate the light and dark T-shirts, but just put all written-on T-shirts together regardless of their shade?"
Rory frowned. "Yes? What's wrong with that?"
"Well, I just think that if you're going to be anal about your laundry you should be consistently anal."
"What are you saying?"
"I propose four T-shirt piles. The whites, the colored, the colored with writing, and the whites with writing."
Rory looked deeply contemplative. "The more piles we make, the longer it's going to take to get it all done."
"Hey, I've got all night," Jess said with a smile.
Rory smiled back. "Okay, have it your way, four T-shirt piles."
They sorted for a moment in silence. Then Jess reached across Rory to grab a shirt that caught his eye. Rory inhaled sharply as he suddenly got close to her. She felt his arm brush against her chest.
Jess, hearing her gasp, turned to face her. Their faces were too close. Rory couldn't help focusing on his lips. She was screaming at herself to look away, but they were so close, she couldn't stop. Jess smiled, and pulled away again, shirt in hand.
"How come you never wear this one at the diner?" he asked, holding the shirt up for her to see. It was a black T-shirt with "Porn Star" written across it in rhinestones.
"Oh my God, that's my mom's! It must have just gotten mixed into my stuff somehow."
Jess smirked at her flushed face and teased her.
"Sure Rory, it's your mom's. Can't fool me. I now know your secret side job."
Rory rolled her eyes, but her blush increased. "Oh no, you caught me. Perhaps you've seen my latest appearance in 'Private School Girls Gone Wild.'"
Jess's smile grew wider. "No actually I haven't. I'll have to pick that one up the next time I visit the video store."
Rory shook her head. "Okay, we're done with T-shirts. I'm going to go change over the load of wash. You can go get the next bunch. I have a few laundry baskets in my room. We can sort pants next."
Rory left the room with her T-shirts. When she returned Jess was sitting on the floor with a basket in his lap, grinning like the Cheshire cat.
"What's your problem?" she asked cautiously. As she got closer she realized that Jess had not picked up the basket with her jeans and slacks.
"I thought these would be more fun to sort," he said, grinning.
Rory's eyes widened. In the basket was all of her underwear. Not only her cotton undies and bras, but also a few things that she had picked up at Victoria's Secret, and even some of her underwear with little monkies on them. She nearly died.
"Jess!" she shrieked. "Put that stuff back!"
"What?" Jess asked innocently. "I'm here to help!"
Rory snatched the basket from him and started to run back to her room.
"You forgot this!" Jess shouted after her. She turned to see him holding up one of her bras, and rushed back to snatch it from him.
As she started back towards her room, Jess shouted, "No really, I think the monkeys are adorable!"
Rory grabbed the correct basket and walked back to the living room, face red, glaring at Jess.
Sensing her level of embarrassment, Jess suddenly regretted what he'd done.
"Hey, Rory I'm sorry. I was just kidding. I'll be good."
Rory's glare softened, and she sighed in annoyance.
"Fine. You can help me go through the pockets quickly to make sure I didn't leave anything in them."
"Had any bad past experiences with leaving things in your pockets?"
"Well, there was the famous Chapstick Incident of 1995."
"Ooh, sounds gruesome."
"It was," Rory said, shuddering at the memory.
"Hey, five bucks!" Jess said, pulling the bill out of one of her jeans pockets. He began to pocket it himself.
"Thief! Give it back!"
"Finders keepers," Jess replied, sticking out his tongue.
Rory gave him a pouty face.
"Ooh, pouty face. Can't… resist… the thrall," he said dramatically stretching the bill out towards her before she snatched it back.
"You are so mean," he said resentfully.
"I'm a regular Joseph Stalin."
"On occasion I've heard you let your Russian accent come out. It was a total giveaway."
"And I try to be low key with the mass genocide and everything. Damn that accent."
"Hey what's this?" Jess asked, directing her attention to the folded piece of paper he found in the pocket of her khakis.
"Nothing, give it to me," Rory answered urgently.
"If it's nothing then why are you getting so eager to take it from me?"
"Just give it back Jess."
"Just tell me what it is Rory," Jess said, mimicking Rory's tone of voice.
Rory tried to grab the paper from Jess, but he jumped up onto the couch.
"I'll guess I'll just have to open it and see for myself," he said, unfolding it. After scanning it for a second he smirked. "Oh how cute, a love note from the bagboy!"
"Jess," Rory clenching her jaw. "Just give it back."
"No wait, this is just asking to be mocked. 'Dear Rory, I couldn't stop thinking about you at work last night.' Oh that's sweet. Looking at cans of beans got him thinking about you."
Rory got up and sat on the couch. She grabbed the hand Jess wasn't using to hold the note and tugged hard, pulling him down into a reclined position on the couch. But even that didn't stop Jess. He kept on reading.
"Oh come on Rory, it's a beautiful expression of love! I especially like the part where he spelled 'definitely' wrong. Apparently he 'defiantly' loves you with all his heart. Oh that part probably made you swoon."
"Jess, stop it!" Rory yelled, reaching up to take the note. She grabbed onto it, but Jess wouldn't let go of it. She was straddling his waist as she struggled with him, but she was too angry to realize it.
Jess, on the other hand, was very aware of Rory's position, and he stopped struggling almost immediately. Rory pulled the note out of his hand, but Jess then grabbed her free hand and pulled her closer. Now Rory realized that she was sprawled out on top of Jess. He was still holding onto her hand, making slow circles on her palm with his thumb. His breathing had increased and he was looking intently into her eyes. He brought his face closer to hers and Rory held her breath. She leaned in as well until she felt his breath on her lips. She closed her eyes and moved to close the rest of the space between them.
Suddenly the phone rang. Rory and Jess froze. After a second Rory jumped back and off of the couch, eyes wide.
"Rory," Jess said, wishing that she would come back to the couch.
"Phone," Rory said dumbly, refusing to look at him. She ran over and answered the phone.
"Hello?"
"Hey," Dean answered happily.
Rory felt her heart sink. She felt horrible about what she almost did to Dean.
"Oh, hey," she said, hoping to sound nonchalant. "Where are you?"
"On my way to see you—if that's okay?"
"Oh, well—"
"I know you wanna be alone, so I'll only stay a minute. I just wanna say hi."
"We just said hi," Rory said nervously, glancing at Jess who was listening closely to her end of the conversation.
"Well, I wanna say hi a little closer," Dean persisted.
"But, I'm a mess, really. It's not pretty. You won't recognize me."
"Well, then put a name tag on, 'cause I miss you."
"I miss you too but—"
"But what?" Dean said impatiently.
Rory searched for some excuse but couldn't come up with anything. She stayed silent.
"I'll see you in a sec," he said, hanging up.
Rory hung up her phone as well and turned to look at Jess, who was still sprawled out on her couch, staring at her.
"You have to go," Rory said, panic creeping into her voice.
Jess just smirked, and Rory felt her panic increasing. He wasn't going to make this easy. She ran to her window and looked outside. Dean was less than a block away.
TBC… I promise that what happens next will be different from what happened in the actual episode. Remember, Paris isn't there to cover for Rory. Please click that nifty little button and review. And when you review, let me know if you have any ideas. I'm open to suggestions.