Let the Tick of the Clock Pursue Me
Akiko Chan
AN: Sorry for the mondo lack of updates.
Chapter 5
The flower shop wasn't the same without Omi. I always felt a sense of dismay when I say his yellow apron just sitting there. I couldn't stand it. Without him, the place was grim. Ken and Aya are too short-tempered and don't like my jokes that much. After we closed last night, I took his apron with me upstairs. Folded it and put it in his dresser. For those that strive for detail. It was on the left, the fourth drawer from the bottom. I'm glad we're closed tomorrow, because I know Aya will ask me, and I can't explain myself.
I find myself standing in his room. It feels so cold and empty without him. The sun is going down, making the room partially lit. His room was dull: all of his stuff was put away. I look at his bed and out the window. I run my hand across his comforter. Cold to my touch. I hear him laugh then and I remember the conversations we had sitting on this bed. I sit down on the bed and with it I remember how he said he didn't want me to visit anymore. How can he ask such a thing? He's changed since he's gotten sick. It worries me; I want the Omi I knew back. The nice boy with that smile.
I see him smile in my mind. My eyes water and I smile bitterly. I'm truly pathetic; I'm already mourning him. He's still alive and what hope I have. I lay down on his bed on my side, brining my knees and arms to my chest. His words run through my mind again. Aya and ken never visit. I hope this isn't true. Omi deserves to be visited. I'd like to believe that they visit while he is sleeping, but Kudou Yohji is not one to lie to himself. I want answers and reasons from them. They're breaking them and I'm left to pick up the pieces. Sharp jaded pieces that pierce my heart.
I inhale deeply and his bed smells faintly of him. I miss his smell, his laughter; I miss him. And yet, he doesn't want me to visit. I'm sorry Omi but I must visit. The sun has set and the room is dark, a few shadows cast from the stars. I grip his comforter and hold it. Then release it. I'm worried for him. Tomorrow we meet with the doctor and discuss Omi's treatment plan. I hope he is getting better. I close my eyes and lose myself to the dream world.
******
I was woken some time later by someone nudging my shoulder. In my delirium I thought it was Omi, awakening me so he could sleep in his bed. I open my eyes and see Ken looking down at me. It would have been nice if this chaos was all a dream.
"Good morning," I say to Ken. He frowns at me, tilting his head to the side.
"What are you doing?" I roll onto my back stretching my legs out. It isn't ken's business why I'm in here, So I change the subject.
"Do you ever visit Omi in the hospital?"
"Only when he's asleep. I call the Nurse ahead of time to find out. I don't want him to see me break down. It's hard seeing all those tubes hooked up to him."
I sit up and hang my legs off the side of the bed. My head is still drowsy with sleep.
"Do you know if Aya visits?"
"No I don't. Why?"
"He thinks only I visit him."
"He really thinks that?"
"He says he doesn't want me to visit anymore because it reminds him of you two and how you don't visit."
"But I do..."
"I know, but Omi doesn't know that."
"I'm sorry," Ken says as he puts his hand on his forehead.
I look at him. "Ken, if you want I'll go with you and we can visit together."
He turns and begins to walk out of the room. "I'll think about it."
I sigh and stand up. I feel awkward in here; I've never really been in Omi's room without him. I look at the clock. 7:15 pm. I need a cigarette and I should get some food in my stomach.
*******
We are sitting in the same blue conference room. Omi is still in his hospital room. Aya is sitting up and staring straight ahead at nothing. I assume Ken is nervous because he is tugging at the sleeves of his shirt. I have my calmed, relaxed mask on. But inside I'm anxious as hell. I've prepared myself for the worse possible scenario. I can't help that I'm a pessimist. A female doctor shakes all of our hands and introduces herself. She is Dr. Cho Mazda; she is the resident Oncologist. They study cancers of the blood. She's young, in her late twenties, older than I am but still young. She has the face of a goddess. It's hard to see her figure under all her doctor clothes, but her breasts are decent sized. I'd date her if the situation were different.
A short Chinese man walks in the room. On his coat it says Dr. Bing Honda M.D. He sits done and Cho begins speaking: "Tsukiyono Omi is not improving the way we hoped he would on the chemotherapy alone." She pauses briefly and looks at Dr. Honda. He nods at her and she looks back at us and continues: "The staff and I feel the best option would be to start radiation therapy."
"That's the only option?" I ask.
"Yes, it's the only other option we offer here."
I look to Aya and Ken. They both solemnly nod at me. I look back to Cho.
"Yes, we will consent going ahead with the radiation and chemo."
She nods and looks at all of us, one at a time, until her eyes settle back on me.
"There are two ways we can go about this. We can destroy all the bone marrow with radiation and replace it with healthy marrow from a donor. Or we can remove some of the marrow form his body. Then specialists will kill all the cancer cells. We freeze the marrow and we destroy the remaining marrow in his body. After that he healthy marrow will be put back in. The factors that affect this decision are cost and the availability of a donor. You'll have a couple days to decide. I suggest in this time, finding people with the same blood type as Omi's, then seeing if they are willing to donate," She turns to Doctor Honda. "Anything you would like to add."
"No, you handle fine;" He stands up and shakes all of our hands. "I wishing you three best luck."
I thank him and Cho says "Nurse Suzu will bring him in here." The two doctors leave the room.
Omi enters the room in his pajamas; the nurse is helping him walk. She isn't that pretty, she's rather plain and looks to be in her early forties. He sits, no more like fall into the cushion next to us. His head leans on my shoulder. He closes his eyes and yawns. I put my arm around him. The youth lays his head on my chest. I watch him as he pulls his knees up to his own chest. He shakes and whispers. "So cold, I'm so tired." He softly whines about how they woke him up from a nap to come in here.
He sounds sick; by the way he talks you can tell his throat is dry and probably sore. I lift his chin up and make him look at me.
"Omi?"
"Hmm..."
"Aya and Ken are here to see you."
I pause watching him to see if he understands what I am saying.
"We have something important to discuss with you." Aya says.
Omi looks to my left and sees them. What he did next is absolutely pathetic. I don't know if I should mention it. Maybe only I felt that way. I always looked at the downside. Within seconds he had crawled on top of me, his weight lighter than I last remember. He reached his hand out to the two of them. Then he starts to crawl closer to them. He is on way too many drugs. I put my arm around him, holding him back.
"Omi, please just sit down."
He crawls back over me and sits down. He is back to resting his head on my chest.
"Omi the doctors want to start radiation therapy."
"Now?" He whispers gently.
"Soon, now, how do you feel about this?"
"Huh? Soon or Now?"
"Soon. Omi, I said soon."
"I know but you said soon now and I don't know what that means."
I shake me head, definitely to much medication. I wonder at this point, if he can only talk in a whisper.
"Answer the question Omi."
"I fell scared."
"We need a yes or no answer." Aya says.
"Yes," He says and then does the oddest thing; He smiles. Then he stands up and looks at us. "I'm so glad you're all here." He hugs all of us, even Aya, who hesitates at first and then returns the hug. And it like the sadistic reality sinks in, not as if it hasn't been there before. I start to feel tears in my eyes. Maybe it's how small his body felt against mine. Ken stands up and hugs Omi again. "I'm glad to see you too." Then Ken whispers something in his ear. He probably set things straight about the whole visiting incident.
Omi smiles and looks at me. I return his smile, but say nothing because I'm sure he knows what I feel.
"Yohji warmed your bed for you last night." Ken says laughing.
I'm sure the embarrassment and surprise showed up on my face then. Omi looks at me with that look on his face that he gets when he is listening or thinking intently.
"Shut-up Ken." I remark quickly. Omi starts to laugh and I remember how much I do miss his laughter. The house, the shop, nothing is the same without him.
"You still want to forget us?" I ask the youngest of Weiß, the thought going through my mind and carelessly leaving my mouth. Omi frowns and his eyes get a shade darker. Not lighter like when he's sad, but darker like when he is angry. I realize now he wanted me to keep the conversation between us.
Too late anyways, I told Ken yesterday. Ken glares at me upset that I brought it up.
Aya mutters a silent 'what' and looks at Omi. I remember now how easy it is to break him and I feel remorse. His eyes look at us with fear and anger. The anger is directed mostly at me. He seems flighty like he'll run away.
A knock is heard and a different Nurse walks in the room. This one is young. In her twenties. Her black hair tied back in a bun. She is beautiful. Omi is lucky having all these beautiful women around. "Have you decided yet?" She asks.
"Yes," Aya says. "We've decided he will go through with the radiation. But we haven't decided about what way yet."
She smiles. "You have a couple more hours for visiting." She leaves the room. I must admit she has a great rear-end.
End of Chapter. Sorry it's not much. This is so hard to write. And you can blame Final Fantasy VII for making me write 42 pages of a story. Forty-two pages in a month. I wish this story wrote that quickly. I think all you would be glad.