"Dum de dum," sad Adam, "looking for some fine young ass to rape, err... nurture and protect, and... OH MY GOD!"
Adam stared slackjawed in disbelief at the eviscerated corpse of Abel scattered over the ground. Cain knelt beside his open abdomen, covered with blood and holding a sharp stick pointed at the opening. He turned to his father and stared. Lilith was standing nearby, but upon seeing Adam she turned to him with a shocked expression on her face.
"I didn't do it!" shouted Lilith, dashing off into the darker regions of the forest.
"CAIN!" shouted Adam. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Uhh, I didn't do it?" said Cain.
"Now Cain," began Adam, "I know you're stupid because Eve is a clone of me meaning I fucked myself, so all the recessive traits in our genes were brought out in you. But for the love of God, wait, I hate god..."
"Yes, you hate God," said Cain.
"I do hate God," said Adam, "but what of it?"
"I just lied to you," said Cain. "God would've wanted me to tell the truth. God also wouldn't have wanted me to murder Abel. By doing these things, I'm disobeying the will of God."
"By George, you're right," said Adam.
"Let's never fight again, Dad." said Cain.
"I love you, Cain," said Adam. "But there's one thing that's bothering me. Who was that nasty chick who ran off when I got there?"
"Oh, that's just Lilith," said Cain, "she's a skank whore!"
"Ha ha, you can say that again," said Adam.
"Ha ha ha!" said Cain, "Say dad, can I fuck mom?"
"Ha ha ha!" replied Adam, "NO!"
Adam stared slackjawed in disbelief at the eviscerated corpse of Abel scattered over the ground. Cain knelt beside his open abdomen, covered with blood and holding a sharp stick pointed at the opening. He turned to his father and stared. Lilith was standing nearby, but upon seeing Adam she turned to him with a shocked expression on her face.
"I didn't do it!" shouted Lilith, dashing off into the darker regions of the forest.
"CAIN!" shouted Adam. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Uhh, I didn't do it?" said Cain.
"Now Cain," began Adam, "I know you're stupid because Eve is a clone of me meaning I fucked myself, so all the recessive traits in our genes were brought out in you. But for the love of God, wait, I hate god..."
"Yes, you hate God," said Cain.
"I do hate God," said Adam, "but what of it?"
"I just lied to you," said Cain. "God would've wanted me to tell the truth. God also wouldn't have wanted me to murder Abel. By doing these things, I'm disobeying the will of God."
"By George, you're right," said Adam.
"Let's never fight again, Dad." said Cain.
"I love you, Cain," said Adam. "But there's one thing that's bothering me. Who was that nasty chick who ran off when I got there?"
"Oh, that's just Lilith," said Cain, "she's a skank whore!"
"Ha ha, you can say that again," said Adam.
"Ha ha ha!" said Cain, "Say dad, can I fuck mom?"
"Ha ha ha!" replied Adam, "NO!"