Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this,
would I?
Warning: There are boy-boy pairings and references in this fic. If you don't like that sort of thing, stop reading now. If you do, enjoy!
Dedicated to a great friend and my co-author, Amy.
Time Warp, by Siren Alecto
Chapter 4 - Discoveries
By the time Amy reached my house, I had started to doubt my hasty --and rash-- decision to let her come over. But what would happen, would happen; nothing I do has a hand in destiny. Right?
"You're evil." Amy says as she walks into the house, her eyes sparkling mischievously at me.
"So are you if you agreed to come."
"Hey, since when can I resist the allure of cute guys?" The flash of pain in her eyes shot straight to my heart. It was a very sensitive subject, this; it used to get us lots of pain because of misunderstanding. Amy may sometimes be a little flighty, but she's a caring, emotional person who can't help but love. She just happens to be loved back by many people, causing an issue of choosing.
Our lovely, semi-bonding moment was interrupted by Brian's arrival, being dropped off by his sister. Finally, both of them in the house, I stuff paper, pencils and my tarot cards (just in case) in a backpack. Grinning at my two friends, I head for the stairwell.
"Come down here so you can meet your baby-sitters before I leave." I waited a few seconds, fully intending on dragging them downstairs if they didn't respond but grumbles and footsteps were heard coming closer.
Quatre was the first down and he rolled his eyes at me. I just ruffled his hair lightly; I'm allowed to be immature some of the time. It's just play.
One by one, the others filing (or in Duo's case, bounding) down the stairs and into the family room. Once they were seated, I began. "This is Amy, that's Brian, and if you have any questions about something, you can ask them. I'll be back by 6 at the latest." Swinging my backpack over my shoulder, my eyes went over the group, "Any questions?" I had to still a shudder at the thought that I sounded like I was their mother.
Quatre's muttered "Yes, mom." didn't help. Grinning sweetly at him, I replied, "I can always tell fan-girls where you're at, Quatre darling. I'm sure that would generate an interesting reaction." And after my latest bit of evilness, I walked out the door.
I bask in the sunlight as I head 'round back to get my bike out of the shed and start peddling my way to the county library.
The first thing I have to do when I get there is find someplace private where I can ask my tarot cards some questions to narrow down the search I'm going to do. After that… library catalogue to see if there's any book I can look through and make notes. One thing I've learned is you can't use the computers at any library for making notes, even though I've never heard a convincing reason. I think it's that people would use all their paper by printing off 5 billion pages of meaningless information.
On my way I grinned at the upset drivers as I cut across busy streets and intersections. Finally reaching the library, I put the bike in the rack with the rest and locked it before going inside.
I love the smell of libraries, old and musky. The smell of shelves upon shelves of old books as well as new ones, just waiting to be discovered so they could tell their story. And I'll get to look through a lot of them.
Spotting a free computer, I sat down and began a long 6 hours of searching, gathering and rejecting material. When all of this is over, I'm seriously going to have a talk with whomever --or whatever-- is playing with my life. It just isn't funny anymore when they do stupid shit like this.
Looking up 'time + travel' under both summary and title, I'm told that there are 12,445 books that match my search. The Creators of the Universe so owe me. But now it's time to get down to work.
5:30pm and the alarm on my watch goes off. Pressing stop, I gather my paper and pencils, shoving them negligently into my backpack. Tossing it over my shoulder, I take a couple of promising looking books and check them out, planning on doing a little home research as well.
Not to mention that some of these stories I was looking through seemed pretty interesting.
Putting the checked-out books into my bag as well, I unlocked my bike and began my way home. Pissing off as many drivers leaving the library as I did coming here, I'm sure.
It was nice having a purpose today, especially since it involved reading. That's always been the only way that I could ignore choice things in my life.
But of course, one always eventually has to leave their safe place or fantasy world and come back to the evil reality. Though I suppose everyone's view on reality is different, because we all have our lives and experiences to shape our views.
I mull on these thoughts as I reach the house and tiredly shove my bike haphazardly into the shed with all the rest of my family's outdoor junk. Throwing open the door, the first person I see is Amy who looks slightly the worse for wear, being around the infamous Gundam pilots all day. Not to mention having to deal with Brian.
She's stirring something on the stove and I sneak up behind her to figure out what she's making. I come closer and I smell pasta, yum. "How was your day, dear?" I ask, pretending to be like a lover coming come from work.
"The children were a handful, but nothing I couldn't manage." She replied, grinning and I laughed.
"What did they do?"
"Mainly they asked questions; like what the government structure was, the divisions of different governments, things about you...."
"Me?" This was a surprise; I don't consider myself very interesting.
"Yes, you."
I dip a finger into the homemade sauce and taste it. I make a sound of pleasure and then bring my attention back to Amy. "Like what?"
"Your personality, family, lifestyle, hobbies... everything really." Amy turned to me with a sly grin. "You really almost shot them?"
Groaning, I fall back into a chair and laugh at myself. "I'm sure they could have dodged. I'm a better shot with a rifle than a handgun, anyway."
"How inglorious for them," Amy said, entirely unsympathetically, "to have almost been shot by a girl -- a normal girl."
"Hey!" I exclaim angrily, "I'm not normal."
"Well, no." She conceded grudgingly, "But you weren't trained for war and killing like them, either."
"Good thing, too." I mutter and Amy rolls her eyes at me, all in all, a typical interaction between us. Dipping a finger into the sauce and tasting it again, I enjoy the silence of the house... wait. Silence? "Why's it so quiet?" I ask suspiciously.
"The boys are out back showing their Gundams off to Brian." Amy replied over the clatter of plates as she set up the table. "I think he wants to stow away with them when you manage to send the pilots back to their own.... wherever it is they come from."
Grinning, I lean back in the chair. "Oh, I don't know..." I say softly, "He might have a little trouble leaving Maya behind."
"She could go with him."
"What do you think I am, Ames? A taxi-driver to the future?!" Sighing, I prop my chin on one hand, "Besides, who knows how much damage that would cause."
"Who cares?"
Glaring at her lightly, I disagree. "You won't be saying that after the universe implodes because we totally messed up the flow of time."
"Yes, I will. I'll be saying it while reclining upon a settee, being fed grapes by handsome men in loincloths."
"Interesting fantasy you have there. Sounds like you've daydreamed about it a time or two before." I reply, raising an eyebrow at her.
"Actually, I just made it up." Amy replied, grinning at me. "It would be fun, though and you know it."
Tossing my head back, I indulged myself in a shout of laughter. "Me doing that.... RIGHT, Ames. Whatever you say."
"Anyway, who's to say that we're all not supposed to end up in the future?"
Blinking rapidly while I think, I decide I'm much too tired to debate theories with Amy for the simple reason of not knowing. It grates on me to admit that I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing or go about doing it. The feeling of muddling through everything isn't one that I like.
Then a thought dawns on me and I blame the fact that I got little sleep on not having it before I ran around all day. I'd ask my tarot cards what the hell was going on. A grin lights up my face and I turned to Amy, invigorated with new energy.
"I think I know the answer to that question." Bringing my tarot cards out of my bag, I tapped the box lightly. "Don't you find these happen to be so useful?"
"Cool! Stay down here while you work, I haven't seen you use these in a while and it's fun to watch." Amy said, starting to bustle around the kitchen again.
"But what if one of the guys come in during...." I can't help but be nervous about possibly telling them that I'm a witch and I read tarot cards. They're going to think I'm nuts if they don't already!
"If you have to use a spell to send them all back to the future or wherever the hell they're going, they're going to need to know."
Groaning, I drop my head to the tabletop with a thud. Pain flashed and I ruefully sat up, rubbing my forehead.
"Now." Amy said, taking her motherly, no-nonsense tone. "Are you finished with the dramatics?"
"No, not really." I replied teasingly and Amy shook her head as if to say 'This is just gonna be one of those days'.
Humming some nameless tune stuck in my head, I laid out the cloth I was going to use for placing my cards on and carefully started shuffling. I decided to start with asking where the boys were from; the future, another universe...
Clearing my mind of everything except that one question is hard. Stray thoughts tend to break through and get everything else muddled, but when I had it just right, I started to place my cards out on the cloth.
In a moment, I had the cards laid out, 20 on one side of the cloth, 20 on the other. I had created my own little yes-no detector with my tarot cards, something no-one (to my knowledge) had ever done exactly the way I do now. It had to do with positive and negative meanings from the cards and totaling up the yes's and the no's.
One side of the cloth, which stood for 'future', had 6 cards equaling yes. The other side, the 'Alternate universe' side had 14. Ok, I'll take that as the boys are from an alternate universe.
The sound of a chair sliding across the hardwood floor broke me concentration and made me look up to see Wufei settling himself, arms crossed. The first thing out of his mouth wasn't a greeting (I didn't expect it to be, either) but "Where's your fiancee?"
Raising an eyebrow at him, I follow his gaze to my ring finger where a silver ring with sparkling diamond-like stones set in a flower pattern with an emerald-like stone in the middle. "It's a promise ring."
Wufei looked rather taken aback at that, and somewhat suspicious. "A promise of what?"
"That I'll be the only one who has control over my heart. That I'll never marry. I'll be independent. Take your pick. Amy has a matching one, but hers stands for the opposite. Hers tells her that she'll find love someday and live happily ever after." While I explained my rather unusual (and oft-remarked upon habit) I occupied my fingers with shuffling my cards, they soothe me and we develop a sort-of-bond, that way. Which means my cards will continue to be dead-on accurate. As I try to regain my concentration to consult the cards again I hear Wufei remark, "That's what women should do, get married. It's the only job you all really have." I smile and shake my head, knowing what's coming.
"Excuse me?!", is Amy's near-angry reply. Amy is the only person second to me who can debate the independence and choices of women. She knows, like I do, that just because a woman chooses love, doesn't mean she's "fulfilling her duty". I tune out their bickering, (which is hard because Wufei and Amy are both masters of debate who will die before admitting they're wrong) and go back to my cards.
I shuffle one more time before laying them out on the table again. This time there's one less question "no" on the alternate universe side than on the future side. Not exactly what I was hoping for, but it's a start. I try again, and get the same result. Man, this is frustrating! And are Amy and Wufei ever going to shut up? Probably not. It's really hard to concentrate on the future and alternate universes when you've got two rather loud debaters both voicing their opinion in your ear at the same time. After one more failed attempt to get a conclusive answer from my cards, I can feel my stress level rising. I really need to de-stress or else I'm going to be useless, and probably violent. Not really, I'll just want to be. In one not-so-graceful motion I get up and nearly sprint for the stairs, leaving a very shocked Wufei and a very worrisome Amy sitting in the dining room staring at the chair I knocked over in my mad dash from the room. I never said I was lady-like.
I climbed out onto the flat piece of roof conveniently outside my window and sat, gathering my knees to my chest, folding my arms around them. The sound of my music floated out the window and I sung along softly as I enjoyed the calm beauty of the night.
~~ He said ah, honey, aww you've gotten tough
Cuz my tone was curt, yeah
And when I'm approached in a dark alley
I don't lift my skirt
In this city, self-preservation is a full-time occupation
I'm determined to survive on this shore
You know I don't avert my eyes anymore ~~
The sound of footsteps in the room caught my attention and I turned around to see Heero pulling himself out the window to join me. Turning my gaze back to the velvet of the night sky cut only by the moon and a few stars, I was content. The music still played softly, though I was too self- conscious to keep singing with him right next to me.
Heero looked at me with that habitual non-expression on his face. Looked at me for a long moment, as if trying to search my soul to find out just what kind of person I am. Then, finally, he spoke. "Winner is worried about you."
~~ In a man's world I am a woman by birth
And I've turned nineteen times around
I have found they stop at nothing
Once they know what you are worth
Talk to me now
Mmm... ~~
"He sent you to find me... again."
"Aa."
Smiling softly, I drop my chin to rest on my knees. "I know. He's a good person."
Heero snorted, in agreement of disgust, I couldn't quite discern. "Trowa is worried Quatre might be getting too attached to you."
~~ I played the power, yes
In too many dark scenes
I was blessed with a birth and a death
And I guess, I just want some say in-between ~~
Trowa can't possibly be thinking... oh, now that is laughable. "Quatre is my soul-brother. Furthermore, he's an empath and a busybody, he gets attached to lots of people." Talking softly, I turn toward my guest and smile. Hopefully any worries Trowa might have about me can be alleviated; I have no idea why he even worries to begin with.
It must be only my mind coming up with things, Trowa thinking that Quatre might leave him for someone else is laughable, extremely laughable if one thinks Quatre would leave Trowa for a girl, let alone me.
~~ Don't you understand?
In the day-to-day
Or the face-to-face, I have to act ~~
Boys can be such bakas, especially if they're in love.
"Why is Quatre worried about you?" Now that was an invasive question, and Heero knows it.
~~ Just as strong as I can
Just to preserve myself
So I can be who I am ~~
"He feels there's something upsetting me." I reply evasively, no matter how close I feel to them, it's not like me to open up to people.
"Whatever it is, it can probably be fixed..." He starts but then looks at me, and I can't help but wonder at what he sees. All I know is that whatever it is, it's more than I want people to see when they look at me. "No." Heero corrects himself, simply.
~~ Talk to me
Mmm....
Oh you, still know how
You can talk to me now ~~
And, damn me if I want to explain exactly what I've been feeling today. A part of me wants him to understand, and I don't want to think on that too much. It scares me.
"Amy and I are extremely close, after we first started talking and actually became friends, we were inseparable. Back then, there was a third member of us, her name was Chrissie and we were like metal firmly welded together." Taking a deep breath, I continue. "Things happened quickly to tear us apart; Amy and Chrissie stopped speaking, I was sent away, and Chris eventually killed herself."
~~ Oh you, still know how
You can talk to me now
Oh you, still know how
You can talk to me now
Mmm... ~~
I had to stop for a moment when the pain flared and my throat tightened. "It took 3 months for me to hurt because of it, I guess that shows I have some pretty good emotional walls, there."
~~ He said ah, honey, aww you've gotten tough
Cuz my tone was curt, yeah
And when I'm approached in a dark alley
I don't lift my skirt
In this city, self-preservation is a full-time occupation
I'm determined to survive on this shore
You know I don't avert my eyes anymore ~~
"Why? Why do you trust us so easily...?" He looked guarded and confused at that moment, like he could never understand no matter how hard he tried or what logic he used.
Why did I trust them? At this point, I couldn't conceive of not trusting them. "I've seen you kill the wrong people, turn around and ask their families if they want vengeance on you. I've seen you fight because you're told, almost die many times and then suddenly find your will to live. You were trained since at least the age of 10 not to care for anyone, but now you have what you can tentatively call friends, or at least comrades." I turned to him fiercely, "You do not have to prove yourself to me. None of you have to."
~~ In a man's world I am a woman by birth
And I've turned nineteen times around
I have found they stop at nothing
Once they know what you are worth
Talk to me now
Mmm... ~~
Siren Alecto: Song is "Talk To Me Now" by Ani Difranco. Sorry that this chapter took a while to come out, I sometimes become that way. I'm really surprised that so many took the time to read this fic, and I really appreciate your reviews.
Eiryn: They're what got her to update this fic, actually so keep 'em coming!
Warning: There are boy-boy pairings and references in this fic. If you don't like that sort of thing, stop reading now. If you do, enjoy!
Dedicated to a great friend and my co-author, Amy.
Time Warp, by Siren Alecto
Chapter 4 - Discoveries
By the time Amy reached my house, I had started to doubt my hasty --and rash-- decision to let her come over. But what would happen, would happen; nothing I do has a hand in destiny. Right?
"You're evil." Amy says as she walks into the house, her eyes sparkling mischievously at me.
"So are you if you agreed to come."
"Hey, since when can I resist the allure of cute guys?" The flash of pain in her eyes shot straight to my heart. It was a very sensitive subject, this; it used to get us lots of pain because of misunderstanding. Amy may sometimes be a little flighty, but she's a caring, emotional person who can't help but love. She just happens to be loved back by many people, causing an issue of choosing.
Our lovely, semi-bonding moment was interrupted by Brian's arrival, being dropped off by his sister. Finally, both of them in the house, I stuff paper, pencils and my tarot cards (just in case) in a backpack. Grinning at my two friends, I head for the stairwell.
"Come down here so you can meet your baby-sitters before I leave." I waited a few seconds, fully intending on dragging them downstairs if they didn't respond but grumbles and footsteps were heard coming closer.
Quatre was the first down and he rolled his eyes at me. I just ruffled his hair lightly; I'm allowed to be immature some of the time. It's just play.
One by one, the others filing (or in Duo's case, bounding) down the stairs and into the family room. Once they were seated, I began. "This is Amy, that's Brian, and if you have any questions about something, you can ask them. I'll be back by 6 at the latest." Swinging my backpack over my shoulder, my eyes went over the group, "Any questions?" I had to still a shudder at the thought that I sounded like I was their mother.
Quatre's muttered "Yes, mom." didn't help. Grinning sweetly at him, I replied, "I can always tell fan-girls where you're at, Quatre darling. I'm sure that would generate an interesting reaction." And after my latest bit of evilness, I walked out the door.
I bask in the sunlight as I head 'round back to get my bike out of the shed and start peddling my way to the county library.
The first thing I have to do when I get there is find someplace private where I can ask my tarot cards some questions to narrow down the search I'm going to do. After that… library catalogue to see if there's any book I can look through and make notes. One thing I've learned is you can't use the computers at any library for making notes, even though I've never heard a convincing reason. I think it's that people would use all their paper by printing off 5 billion pages of meaningless information.
On my way I grinned at the upset drivers as I cut across busy streets and intersections. Finally reaching the library, I put the bike in the rack with the rest and locked it before going inside.
I love the smell of libraries, old and musky. The smell of shelves upon shelves of old books as well as new ones, just waiting to be discovered so they could tell their story. And I'll get to look through a lot of them.
Spotting a free computer, I sat down and began a long 6 hours of searching, gathering and rejecting material. When all of this is over, I'm seriously going to have a talk with whomever --or whatever-- is playing with my life. It just isn't funny anymore when they do stupid shit like this.
Looking up 'time + travel' under both summary and title, I'm told that there are 12,445 books that match my search. The Creators of the Universe so owe me. But now it's time to get down to work.
5:30pm and the alarm on my watch goes off. Pressing stop, I gather my paper and pencils, shoving them negligently into my backpack. Tossing it over my shoulder, I take a couple of promising looking books and check them out, planning on doing a little home research as well.
Not to mention that some of these stories I was looking through seemed pretty interesting.
Putting the checked-out books into my bag as well, I unlocked my bike and began my way home. Pissing off as many drivers leaving the library as I did coming here, I'm sure.
It was nice having a purpose today, especially since it involved reading. That's always been the only way that I could ignore choice things in my life.
But of course, one always eventually has to leave their safe place or fantasy world and come back to the evil reality. Though I suppose everyone's view on reality is different, because we all have our lives and experiences to shape our views.
I mull on these thoughts as I reach the house and tiredly shove my bike haphazardly into the shed with all the rest of my family's outdoor junk. Throwing open the door, the first person I see is Amy who looks slightly the worse for wear, being around the infamous Gundam pilots all day. Not to mention having to deal with Brian.
She's stirring something on the stove and I sneak up behind her to figure out what she's making. I come closer and I smell pasta, yum. "How was your day, dear?" I ask, pretending to be like a lover coming come from work.
"The children were a handful, but nothing I couldn't manage." She replied, grinning and I laughed.
"What did they do?"
"Mainly they asked questions; like what the government structure was, the divisions of different governments, things about you...."
"Me?" This was a surprise; I don't consider myself very interesting.
"Yes, you."
I dip a finger into the homemade sauce and taste it. I make a sound of pleasure and then bring my attention back to Amy. "Like what?"
"Your personality, family, lifestyle, hobbies... everything really." Amy turned to me with a sly grin. "You really almost shot them?"
Groaning, I fall back into a chair and laugh at myself. "I'm sure they could have dodged. I'm a better shot with a rifle than a handgun, anyway."
"How inglorious for them," Amy said, entirely unsympathetically, "to have almost been shot by a girl -- a normal girl."
"Hey!" I exclaim angrily, "I'm not normal."
"Well, no." She conceded grudgingly, "But you weren't trained for war and killing like them, either."
"Good thing, too." I mutter and Amy rolls her eyes at me, all in all, a typical interaction between us. Dipping a finger into the sauce and tasting it again, I enjoy the silence of the house... wait. Silence? "Why's it so quiet?" I ask suspiciously.
"The boys are out back showing their Gundams off to Brian." Amy replied over the clatter of plates as she set up the table. "I think he wants to stow away with them when you manage to send the pilots back to their own.... wherever it is they come from."
Grinning, I lean back in the chair. "Oh, I don't know..." I say softly, "He might have a little trouble leaving Maya behind."
"She could go with him."
"What do you think I am, Ames? A taxi-driver to the future?!" Sighing, I prop my chin on one hand, "Besides, who knows how much damage that would cause."
"Who cares?"
Glaring at her lightly, I disagree. "You won't be saying that after the universe implodes because we totally messed up the flow of time."
"Yes, I will. I'll be saying it while reclining upon a settee, being fed grapes by handsome men in loincloths."
"Interesting fantasy you have there. Sounds like you've daydreamed about it a time or two before." I reply, raising an eyebrow at her.
"Actually, I just made it up." Amy replied, grinning at me. "It would be fun, though and you know it."
Tossing my head back, I indulged myself in a shout of laughter. "Me doing that.... RIGHT, Ames. Whatever you say."
"Anyway, who's to say that we're all not supposed to end up in the future?"
Blinking rapidly while I think, I decide I'm much too tired to debate theories with Amy for the simple reason of not knowing. It grates on me to admit that I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing or go about doing it. The feeling of muddling through everything isn't one that I like.
Then a thought dawns on me and I blame the fact that I got little sleep on not having it before I ran around all day. I'd ask my tarot cards what the hell was going on. A grin lights up my face and I turned to Amy, invigorated with new energy.
"I think I know the answer to that question." Bringing my tarot cards out of my bag, I tapped the box lightly. "Don't you find these happen to be so useful?"
"Cool! Stay down here while you work, I haven't seen you use these in a while and it's fun to watch." Amy said, starting to bustle around the kitchen again.
"But what if one of the guys come in during...." I can't help but be nervous about possibly telling them that I'm a witch and I read tarot cards. They're going to think I'm nuts if they don't already!
"If you have to use a spell to send them all back to the future or wherever the hell they're going, they're going to need to know."
Groaning, I drop my head to the tabletop with a thud. Pain flashed and I ruefully sat up, rubbing my forehead.
"Now." Amy said, taking her motherly, no-nonsense tone. "Are you finished with the dramatics?"
"No, not really." I replied teasingly and Amy shook her head as if to say 'This is just gonna be one of those days'.
Humming some nameless tune stuck in my head, I laid out the cloth I was going to use for placing my cards on and carefully started shuffling. I decided to start with asking where the boys were from; the future, another universe...
Clearing my mind of everything except that one question is hard. Stray thoughts tend to break through and get everything else muddled, but when I had it just right, I started to place my cards out on the cloth.
In a moment, I had the cards laid out, 20 on one side of the cloth, 20 on the other. I had created my own little yes-no detector with my tarot cards, something no-one (to my knowledge) had ever done exactly the way I do now. It had to do with positive and negative meanings from the cards and totaling up the yes's and the no's.
One side of the cloth, which stood for 'future', had 6 cards equaling yes. The other side, the 'Alternate universe' side had 14. Ok, I'll take that as the boys are from an alternate universe.
The sound of a chair sliding across the hardwood floor broke me concentration and made me look up to see Wufei settling himself, arms crossed. The first thing out of his mouth wasn't a greeting (I didn't expect it to be, either) but "Where's your fiancee?"
Raising an eyebrow at him, I follow his gaze to my ring finger where a silver ring with sparkling diamond-like stones set in a flower pattern with an emerald-like stone in the middle. "It's a promise ring."
Wufei looked rather taken aback at that, and somewhat suspicious. "A promise of what?"
"That I'll be the only one who has control over my heart. That I'll never marry. I'll be independent. Take your pick. Amy has a matching one, but hers stands for the opposite. Hers tells her that she'll find love someday and live happily ever after." While I explained my rather unusual (and oft-remarked upon habit) I occupied my fingers with shuffling my cards, they soothe me and we develop a sort-of-bond, that way. Which means my cards will continue to be dead-on accurate. As I try to regain my concentration to consult the cards again I hear Wufei remark, "That's what women should do, get married. It's the only job you all really have." I smile and shake my head, knowing what's coming.
"Excuse me?!", is Amy's near-angry reply. Amy is the only person second to me who can debate the independence and choices of women. She knows, like I do, that just because a woman chooses love, doesn't mean she's "fulfilling her duty". I tune out their bickering, (which is hard because Wufei and Amy are both masters of debate who will die before admitting they're wrong) and go back to my cards.
I shuffle one more time before laying them out on the table again. This time there's one less question "no" on the alternate universe side than on the future side. Not exactly what I was hoping for, but it's a start. I try again, and get the same result. Man, this is frustrating! And are Amy and Wufei ever going to shut up? Probably not. It's really hard to concentrate on the future and alternate universes when you've got two rather loud debaters both voicing their opinion in your ear at the same time. After one more failed attempt to get a conclusive answer from my cards, I can feel my stress level rising. I really need to de-stress or else I'm going to be useless, and probably violent. Not really, I'll just want to be. In one not-so-graceful motion I get up and nearly sprint for the stairs, leaving a very shocked Wufei and a very worrisome Amy sitting in the dining room staring at the chair I knocked over in my mad dash from the room. I never said I was lady-like.
I climbed out onto the flat piece of roof conveniently outside my window and sat, gathering my knees to my chest, folding my arms around them. The sound of my music floated out the window and I sung along softly as I enjoyed the calm beauty of the night.
~~ He said ah, honey, aww you've gotten tough
Cuz my tone was curt, yeah
And when I'm approached in a dark alley
I don't lift my skirt
In this city, self-preservation is a full-time occupation
I'm determined to survive on this shore
You know I don't avert my eyes anymore ~~
The sound of footsteps in the room caught my attention and I turned around to see Heero pulling himself out the window to join me. Turning my gaze back to the velvet of the night sky cut only by the moon and a few stars, I was content. The music still played softly, though I was too self- conscious to keep singing with him right next to me.
Heero looked at me with that habitual non-expression on his face. Looked at me for a long moment, as if trying to search my soul to find out just what kind of person I am. Then, finally, he spoke. "Winner is worried about you."
~~ In a man's world I am a woman by birth
And I've turned nineteen times around
I have found they stop at nothing
Once they know what you are worth
Talk to me now
Mmm... ~~
"He sent you to find me... again."
"Aa."
Smiling softly, I drop my chin to rest on my knees. "I know. He's a good person."
Heero snorted, in agreement of disgust, I couldn't quite discern. "Trowa is worried Quatre might be getting too attached to you."
~~ I played the power, yes
In too many dark scenes
I was blessed with a birth and a death
And I guess, I just want some say in-between ~~
Trowa can't possibly be thinking... oh, now that is laughable. "Quatre is my soul-brother. Furthermore, he's an empath and a busybody, he gets attached to lots of people." Talking softly, I turn toward my guest and smile. Hopefully any worries Trowa might have about me can be alleviated; I have no idea why he even worries to begin with.
It must be only my mind coming up with things, Trowa thinking that Quatre might leave him for someone else is laughable, extremely laughable if one thinks Quatre would leave Trowa for a girl, let alone me.
~~ Don't you understand?
In the day-to-day
Or the face-to-face, I have to act ~~
Boys can be such bakas, especially if they're in love.
"Why is Quatre worried about you?" Now that was an invasive question, and Heero knows it.
~~ Just as strong as I can
Just to preserve myself
So I can be who I am ~~
"He feels there's something upsetting me." I reply evasively, no matter how close I feel to them, it's not like me to open up to people.
"Whatever it is, it can probably be fixed..." He starts but then looks at me, and I can't help but wonder at what he sees. All I know is that whatever it is, it's more than I want people to see when they look at me. "No." Heero corrects himself, simply.
~~ Talk to me
Mmm....
Oh you, still know how
You can talk to me now ~~
And, damn me if I want to explain exactly what I've been feeling today. A part of me wants him to understand, and I don't want to think on that too much. It scares me.
"Amy and I are extremely close, after we first started talking and actually became friends, we were inseparable. Back then, there was a third member of us, her name was Chrissie and we were like metal firmly welded together." Taking a deep breath, I continue. "Things happened quickly to tear us apart; Amy and Chrissie stopped speaking, I was sent away, and Chris eventually killed herself."
~~ Oh you, still know how
You can talk to me now
Oh you, still know how
You can talk to me now
Mmm... ~~
I had to stop for a moment when the pain flared and my throat tightened. "It took 3 months for me to hurt because of it, I guess that shows I have some pretty good emotional walls, there."
~~ He said ah, honey, aww you've gotten tough
Cuz my tone was curt, yeah
And when I'm approached in a dark alley
I don't lift my skirt
In this city, self-preservation is a full-time occupation
I'm determined to survive on this shore
You know I don't avert my eyes anymore ~~
"Why? Why do you trust us so easily...?" He looked guarded and confused at that moment, like he could never understand no matter how hard he tried or what logic he used.
Why did I trust them? At this point, I couldn't conceive of not trusting them. "I've seen you kill the wrong people, turn around and ask their families if they want vengeance on you. I've seen you fight because you're told, almost die many times and then suddenly find your will to live. You were trained since at least the age of 10 not to care for anyone, but now you have what you can tentatively call friends, or at least comrades." I turned to him fiercely, "You do not have to prove yourself to me. None of you have to."
~~ In a man's world I am a woman by birth
And I've turned nineteen times around
I have found they stop at nothing
Once they know what you are worth
Talk to me now
Mmm... ~~
Siren Alecto: Song is "Talk To Me Now" by Ani Difranco. Sorry that this chapter took a while to come out, I sometimes become that way. I'm really surprised that so many took the time to read this fic, and I really appreciate your reviews.
Eiryn: They're what got her to update this fic, actually so keep 'em coming!