I do not now, nor have I ever owned FF7 or its characters, though it would
be nice if I did. This fic is totally pointless and just.... just......
WOO! Yeah...... by the way.... Sheza is a band thang. JOIN THE BAND!!!!
-=-Rufus smirks as he brushes a strand of his blonde hair from his crafty, blue eyes. He gazes at his invincible hand and then shifts his gaze to his opponent across the small table.-=-
Rufus- This is your last chance. You can back out now and save yourself the humiliation, I won't hold it against you.
-=-His red-headed challenger peers up and returns the smirk. There is no way he can be beaten with this hand.-=-
Reno- Now, now, just because you were the president doesn't mean I'm going to give up so easily.
Rufus- Alright then. You first.
Reno- No, no, after you.
Rufus- Fine. On the count of three. One...... two..... three!!!
Reno + Rufus- ROYAL FLUSH!!!
Reno- Damn it!
-=-Rufus leans back in his chair, throwing the cards to the ground.-=-
Rufus- That's the sixth time we've had the same hand!! I can't take it anymore!!
Reno- *thinks* hrm..... how 'bout we play rock-paper-skizzorz for it?
Rufus- It's scissors, you moron.... and o what the hell.....
Reno + Rufus- Rock...... Paper....-
-=-Suddenly, the door of the small room flings open with a startling thud and Elena bursts into the small apartment where the two are now playing rock-paper-skizzorz. ^_^ -=-
Elena- Rufus!! Reno!! We just received impor--
-=-Mid-sentence, Elena notices that her two comrades are sitting at a card table............... both wearing only their boxers. She stumbles back, not seeming to be able to take her eyes off either of them.-=-
Rufus- *to Reno* I thought I told you to LOCK the door....
Reno- Shit! I knew I forgot something!!
Elena- O.......my.......gawd....
Sheza- BECKIE!!!!!!
-=-There is a *P00f* of shredded band music as Sheza disappears from the scene. Reno, Rufus, and Elena exchange confused glances and shrug.-=-
Elena- What the fic are you two doing?!?!
Reno- Uhhmmm..... nothing..... he..he...he... you're just hallucinating.....
Elena- Haha, very funny.
Rufus- No really.
-=-The three Turks are momentarily distracted as a p!nk and green cow floats by along with some handy household appliances. As the cow drifts over Elena, someone turns on the gravity, smushing her like those tiny centipedes you sometimes find in college dorms that I think sound like graham crackers when you..... wait..... dang it!!!-=-
Reno- Well..... I guess that takes care of that problem. Think she's okay?
Rufus- Yeah, and if not, I have enough pocket change to get us both bail.
Reno- Sweeeeet.....
-=-After both are fully dressed and the writer has gone through several more writer's blocks, ummmmm...... they........ uhhhhh..... damn!! Wait... I got it!! No.... lost it again..... ARGGGGGG!!!!! I SOUND LIKE BARRET!!!!!!!-=-
Reno- Umm.... yeah. What are we gonna do now?
Rufus- We have to wait 'til the writer has another idea.
Cloud- That could take a while.
Sephiroth- Where'd you come from??
Cloud- I was hiding behind that large and strangely human shaped cactus in the corner.
Rufus- Why?
Cloud- I found a doughnut over there.
Reno- Makes sense.
Sephiroth- That reminds me, I have to go to the dry-cleaners and pick up some stuff. Anyone wanna come along?
Reno- Whatever.
Rufus- I guess.
Cloud- Do they have a bathroom? I never got a chance to go through the entire game!! I thought I was gonna die!!
-=-The three ....er... four head off to the dry-cleaners in Wall Market. Pi minutes later they reach their destination and go in.-=-
Cloud- *bumping into a wall* Is it dark in here or is it just me?
Reno- Give me back my shades, Clod!!!
Rufus- *colliding with a strategically place piñata* No, it is dark in here.
Vincent- Sorry, must be my fault.
Sephiroth- *to the clerk* Hey!! Wherever you are, I'm here to pick up my capes!
Clerk- One moment please.
Vincent- What brings the rest of you here?
Cloud- I don't remember.
Rufus- Writer's block.....
-=- Just then, Rufus' coat pocket start to vibrate violently. Cloud, Vincent, and Reno all do a double-take for no reason.-=-
Cloud- Hey, Rufus..... I think you have a gerbil in your pocket.
Sephiroth- *turns around* Where?! Lemme' see!! I wuv gerbils!!!!
Reno- ... *backs away*
Rufus- No, I have my cel phone set on vibrate.
-=- Reaching into his pocket, Rufus pulls out a small, blue and gold cel with "Go Blue" written on it.-=-
Rufus- *flipping it open* Hello?
????- Band, Band, here come the band! Band, band, band, the marching band!!!
Rufus- ...?
????- TAKE THAT BACK!!!!
Rufus- Who are you and what are you on?
????- Silence!!! I am the one asking the questions here!!! Now, do you like to dance?
Rufus- *now extremely confused and irritated* What does that have to do with anything!?!
????- Incorrect! You must pay the penalty by..........*dun, dun, dun* CATCHING THE BLONDE!!!!!!
Rufus- I'm already blonde!!!
????- .....the dumb blonde, like Clod.....
Rufus- *looks at Cloud standing there* Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! *hangs up*
Reno, Cloud, + Sephiroth- Nani!?!
Rufus- *pant, pant* ....it..... can't...... be ....true....
Cloud- *walks over to Rufus* Hey, man. You okay?
Rufus- Stay back!!! *stumbles over to the other side of the room and hides*
Reno- What could have that person said???
Sephiroth- Why were you two playing "that" poker in the beginning of the fic???
Vincent- Hey! Where'd my doughnut go?!
Cloud- Who knows where I can find a bathroom?
Clerk- These and other related pointless questions to be revealed in a possible sequel. Tune in next week or you too might catch the blonde!!
Sheza- Mwahahahahahaha!!!!!!
Authors words of advice: Don't ask!!!
-=-Rufus smirks as he brushes a strand of his blonde hair from his crafty, blue eyes. He gazes at his invincible hand and then shifts his gaze to his opponent across the small table.-=-
Rufus- This is your last chance. You can back out now and save yourself the humiliation, I won't hold it against you.
-=-His red-headed challenger peers up and returns the smirk. There is no way he can be beaten with this hand.-=-
Reno- Now, now, just because you were the president doesn't mean I'm going to give up so easily.
Rufus- Alright then. You first.
Reno- No, no, after you.
Rufus- Fine. On the count of three. One...... two..... three!!!
Reno + Rufus- ROYAL FLUSH!!!
Reno- Damn it!
-=-Rufus leans back in his chair, throwing the cards to the ground.-=-
Rufus- That's the sixth time we've had the same hand!! I can't take it anymore!!
Reno- *thinks* hrm..... how 'bout we play rock-paper-skizzorz for it?
Rufus- It's scissors, you moron.... and o what the hell.....
Reno + Rufus- Rock...... Paper....-
-=-Suddenly, the door of the small room flings open with a startling thud and Elena bursts into the small apartment where the two are now playing rock-paper-skizzorz. ^_^ -=-
Elena- Rufus!! Reno!! We just received impor--
-=-Mid-sentence, Elena notices that her two comrades are sitting at a card table............... both wearing only their boxers. She stumbles back, not seeming to be able to take her eyes off either of them.-=-
Rufus- *to Reno* I thought I told you to LOCK the door....
Reno- Shit! I knew I forgot something!!
Elena- O.......my.......gawd....
Sheza- BECKIE!!!!!!
-=-There is a *P00f* of shredded band music as Sheza disappears from the scene. Reno, Rufus, and Elena exchange confused glances and shrug.-=-
Elena- What the fic are you two doing?!?!
Reno- Uhhmmm..... nothing..... he..he...he... you're just hallucinating.....
Elena- Haha, very funny.
Rufus- No really.
-=-The three Turks are momentarily distracted as a p!nk and green cow floats by along with some handy household appliances. As the cow drifts over Elena, someone turns on the gravity, smushing her like those tiny centipedes you sometimes find in college dorms that I think sound like graham crackers when you..... wait..... dang it!!!-=-
Reno- Well..... I guess that takes care of that problem. Think she's okay?
Rufus- Yeah, and if not, I have enough pocket change to get us both bail.
Reno- Sweeeeet.....
-=-After both are fully dressed and the writer has gone through several more writer's blocks, ummmmm...... they........ uhhhhh..... damn!! Wait... I got it!! No.... lost it again..... ARGGGGGG!!!!! I SOUND LIKE BARRET!!!!!!!-=-
Reno- Umm.... yeah. What are we gonna do now?
Rufus- We have to wait 'til the writer has another idea.
Cloud- That could take a while.
Sephiroth- Where'd you come from??
Cloud- I was hiding behind that large and strangely human shaped cactus in the corner.
Rufus- Why?
Cloud- I found a doughnut over there.
Reno- Makes sense.
Sephiroth- That reminds me, I have to go to the dry-cleaners and pick up some stuff. Anyone wanna come along?
Reno- Whatever.
Rufus- I guess.
Cloud- Do they have a bathroom? I never got a chance to go through the entire game!! I thought I was gonna die!!
-=-The three ....er... four head off to the dry-cleaners in Wall Market. Pi minutes later they reach their destination and go in.-=-
Cloud- *bumping into a wall* Is it dark in here or is it just me?
Reno- Give me back my shades, Clod!!!
Rufus- *colliding with a strategically place piñata* No, it is dark in here.
Vincent- Sorry, must be my fault.
Sephiroth- *to the clerk* Hey!! Wherever you are, I'm here to pick up my capes!
Clerk- One moment please.
Vincent- What brings the rest of you here?
Cloud- I don't remember.
Rufus- Writer's block.....
-=- Just then, Rufus' coat pocket start to vibrate violently. Cloud, Vincent, and Reno all do a double-take for no reason.-=-
Cloud- Hey, Rufus..... I think you have a gerbil in your pocket.
Sephiroth- *turns around* Where?! Lemme' see!! I wuv gerbils!!!!
Reno- ... *backs away*
Rufus- No, I have my cel phone set on vibrate.
-=- Reaching into his pocket, Rufus pulls out a small, blue and gold cel with "Go Blue" written on it.-=-
Rufus- *flipping it open* Hello?
????- Band, Band, here come the band! Band, band, band, the marching band!!!
Rufus- ...?
????- TAKE THAT BACK!!!!
Rufus- Who are you and what are you on?
????- Silence!!! I am the one asking the questions here!!! Now, do you like to dance?
Rufus- *now extremely confused and irritated* What does that have to do with anything!?!
????- Incorrect! You must pay the penalty by..........*dun, dun, dun* CATCHING THE BLONDE!!!!!!
Rufus- I'm already blonde!!!
????- .....the dumb blonde, like Clod.....
Rufus- *looks at Cloud standing there* Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!! *hangs up*
Reno, Cloud, + Sephiroth- Nani!?!
Rufus- *pant, pant* ....it..... can't...... be ....true....
Cloud- *walks over to Rufus* Hey, man. You okay?
Rufus- Stay back!!! *stumbles over to the other side of the room and hides*
Reno- What could have that person said???
Sephiroth- Why were you two playing "that" poker in the beginning of the fic???
Vincent- Hey! Where'd my doughnut go?!
Cloud- Who knows where I can find a bathroom?
Clerk- These and other related pointless questions to be revealed in a possible sequel. Tune in next week or you too might catch the blonde!!
Sheza- Mwahahahahahaha!!!!!!
Authors words of advice: Don't ask!!!