Yeah, I'll say it cuz I have to and I 'm trying to keep out of jail this
week. Haha..... not like I would ever be there. *innocent look with evil
smirk* Well, I don't own FF7 or That 70's Show, Pepsi yadda, yadda..... you
know the drill. O and any spelling mistakes are INTENTIONAL sheesh.... I'm
not a complete moroon. ^_^
-=- FYI: Rufus has now been cursed with "The Blonde" and the Turks are hangin' out in the staff only lounge of the Junon Airport Base Thing. Reno and Rude are watching "That 70's Show" and Elena is sitting in her recliner, painting her nails. Of course Rufus is rocking back and forth in a dark corner of the room. -=-
Reno- D00d, I luv this show.
Rude- Yeah, D00d, you said it man.
Rufus- No.... it isn't true..... I'm too hott...... I can't turn into a dumb blonde.....
Elena- Quit whining Rufus, or I'll come over there and b@#$^ slap you!!!
Reno- *eyes still on the TV* She has a point, you know.
Rufus- *thinking* Well, I haven't done anything too stupid yet. *to Turks* Okay, what are you guys wat--
-=- Just then Rufus slips on a rubber duckie that by some weird coincidence happened to be right in front of him. Rufus back flips and lands on his face with a loud *SNORT* .... I mean.....*THUD*-=-
Duckie- SQEEEEEEEEEKIEEEEE *flies into the air and lands on Elena's head*
Elena- *spills nail polish* @#%&*^*%%!!!!!!!!!
Rufus- ow....
Reno + Rude- *covering their smirks* Hey Rufus.... *heehee* ...are you..... *haha* ...okay? ......HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Rufus- D#$^#%^$%@#$@#&*^%!!!!!!! STOP LAUGHING YOU....... YOU............... STUPID............. TH-THINGS!!!!!!!!!!
Reno, Rude + Elena- HAHAHA.... he...... HAHA....... is a........ HAHAHA ......dumb blonde!!!!!!
-=- Rufus runs toward the lounge door, sobbing with his face in his hands, but, having now caught the blonde, misses the doorway. He instead collides with a door-post-majig-that-hurts-when-you-run-into-it. Technically, this would've happened anyways cuz the lounge door was shut, but anywho....-=-
Reno, Rude + Elena-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! * all fall over holding their stomachs*
Elena- *giggle* Sir..... *snort* ........do you *tear*........ need some help? Heehee.....
Rufus- Just #$^&^* off!!!!!!! *storms out of room, slamming the door behind him*
-=- The Turks quiet their laughter for a second only to hear, "AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *thud, thud, thud, thunk, CRASH, shatter, shatter!!!!* All three once again break out in tearful laughter. After a few minutes they all calm down and go down the stairs to check on their leader.-=-
Reno- *calling down below* Hey, you okay, sir???
Elena- *runs ahead to help him up* Do you need some--
Rufus- X_x *bleed, bleed*
Rude- HOLY $*&#!!!!!! HE'S DEAD!!!!!!!
Reno- O #$^$%^$!!!! We're gonna be in some major #$^&$#$%#$% now!!!!!
Elena- Nooooooo!!!!!!! Not Rufus too!!!! I just got over losing Tseng!!!!!!! *breaks down in tears*
Tseng- Elena, what are you talking about????
Elena- *double-takes* Tseng!!! You're....... ALIVE!?!?!
Reno- Hold on here! *scratching record sound effect* You're dead!!!
Tseng- No I'm not!
Rude- Sephiroth killed you!
Tseng- No he didn't. That was my stunt double, Seng.
Reno- O, well I guess that clicks, but Rufus is still dead.
Rude- What are we going to do?
Elena- *clinging to Tseng's arm* I missed you soooooo much Tsengy-wengy!!!
Tseng- Can't...... feel........ arm........
Reno- We are so screwed!!!!
Tseng- *pulling Elena off him* C'mon, if we think, maybe we can fix this.
-=- The Turks stand by poor Rufus' corpse scratching their as- ....er..... chins and pondering like mad. Three hours later the blood is getting dry and it is the 467th time through the jeapordy song. Suddenly, in a whirl of, yes band music, Sheza appears and whispers something in Reno's ear. She hands him something green and shiney and disappears again.-=-
Rude- What was that all about??
Reno- *holding up a mastered "Revive" materia* This is just what the doctor ordered. Now if I just aim it right......
-=- Reno aims the materia and casts Life 2. Unfortunately, it hits a broken piece of the wooden stair railing.-=-
Railing piece- *high squeaky voice* I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! *exits stage up*
Tseng- A little more to the right.
Reno- One more try. *casts Life 2 on dead Rufus*
Rufus- .......ugh......
Elena- Sir, are you alright?
Rufus- I think I landed on my ass. *rubs...well...you know*
Tseng- *looks at other Turks* What did you do to him while I was gone?
Rude- Don't look at me, I wasn't even in that episode. *pouts*
Elena- Ask Reno. He was the one playing... *muffle*
Reno- *with hand over Elena's mouth* O, nothing happened, he was just cursed by some telephone solicitor. No biggie.
-=-Meanwhile, in a telemarketing company near you...........-=-
Boss- How's our plan coming?
Employee- The black plague has spread through Rocket Town, we have confirmation that all toilets have been clogged in Costa Del Sol, and our teams have successfully added earwax to all flavors of jellybeans.
Boss- Good work. Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
-=- Back to the Junon Airport Base Thing-=-
Rufus- You know....... falling down the stairs was kinda fun.....
-=- Rufus rushes past the Turks to the top of the stairs and a loud *thud, thud, meow, thud, smush* follows. This time, Rufus' fall is broken by Elena.-=-
Rufus- Thanks for breaking my fall, someone could've gotten hurt.
Elena- x_X
Reno- Guess I should revive her....
Tseng- No! I mean ........she's not dead..... *kicks her a little*...... she's just taking a nap..... see?
Reno- *shrugs* What ever you say.
Rude- Umm........ now what?
Scarlet- *walks in* What the !@$^%#$^ is going on here!?!?! Why is Elena *%^#%@# dead?!?!?!
Rufus- She's not dead. Tseng says she's just sleeping.
Scarlet- And why is Rufus acting like Clod!?!?!?!
Cloud- Hey!!!! It's Cloud not Clod you $^#$%# bitch!!!!
-=-Just then, Cloud trips oven a pink crayon and his spikey hair gets Scarlet right through the heart.-=-
Scarlet- How....... how is...... this...... possible..........?
Cloud- *holding hair gel tube* It's made by Pepsi, and it keeps my hair spiked 25/8.
Scarlet- Well, if it's made by Pepsi, it works for me........... *diez*
Rude- Now Scarlet AND Elena are dead.....
Reno- Normally, I would say PARTAY!!!!!!!, but there are no girls left to partay with.
Cloud- *thinking* Tick, tick, tick, ping!*to Turks* I know! You guys can come hang out with AVALANCHE!! We have girls!!!
Tseng- Wouldn't that be kinda awkward?
Cloud- *confused look* Why?
Tseng- We're enemies, remember?
Cloud- O..... yeah.......
Rude- As long as Tifa's there I'm game.
Rufus- I'm Rufus, nice to meet you.
All except Rufus- *stare* Yeah...........
-=- The Turks, minus Elena, follow Cloud to AVALANCHE's villa in Costa Del Sol. *yeah, it's been done 1000+ times, but tough* As they enter they find Barret and Red XIII fighting over the TV remote, Tifa and Aeris in a slap fight, Yuffie doing an Irish jig, Vincent sleeping upside down in a chair, and Cid stabbing Cait Sith.-=-
Cloud- Ummm...... hi guys. I brought some friends!
-=-Everyone stops what their doing and stares at the Turks with Cloud. Of course Vinnie is still sleeping and Sephiroth has appeared and is also staring open-mouthed.-=-
Cid- What the @#%&^%&$%^@ were you%^#$%# thinking when you $^#%@#$@#$@#$! invited those $^%#%@#$ing @#%&#%!@$!$# here!?!?!?!?!
Cloud- *firmly* Nothing at all.
All- *sweatdrop*
Reno- *watch beeps* Holy !@$!@#!!!! 5:30 already!!!
Rude- No way!!!!
-=- Reno grabs the remote and flicks on the TV as both jump onto the couch.- =-
Barret- What're yo' doin'!?!?
Reno- Hey! That 70's show is on!!!!
Barret- Wha'?! That time already!?!? *sits down*
-=-Cid + Red XIII join them-=-
Tseng- Why'd Cid kill Cait Sith? Hasn't that been done enough times in other fan fics??
Aeris- Yes, but the author is having trouble coming up with new ideas.
Tseng- How did you know that???
Aeris- You mean the Costa Del Sol villa, Cloud still being a dumb ass, and Cait Sith being offed weren't dead give aways?
Tseng- I see your point.
Sephiroth- I see that point and raise you 50 gil.
Yuffie- I raise YOU 500 gil!
Sephiroth- You're on!
-=- Yuffie and Sephiroth both hold their breath until Yuffie turns orange, then purple, then blue-ish green. She finally releases her breath and gasps for air.-=-
Yuffie- You.... *pant* ..... didn't even .......*gasp* ........flinch......
Sephiroth- I already died, I don't need to breath. Now pay up.
Yuffie- *giving him 500 gil* Lousy dead guy.
Tseng- What the @#^$^ was that!?!?!
Rufus- *jumping up and down* O! O! I know!!! Sephiroth beat Yuffie in a breath holding contest, right!?!?
Tseng- That's right! Good Rufus! *gets out a puppie treat and waves over his head* Get the snack! *throws it*
Rufus- *runs on all fours after the snack, but can't stop cuz Tifa just waxed the wood floor*
-=-Whack!!!-=-
Rufus- Mmmmm..... peanut butter.........*passes out*
Clerk- What weird plot twists are in store for this new group? Is Rufus going to be the prominent dumb ass of this series? Will Cloud try to regain his Stupidity Title? Have I been promoted to this series' narrator/ending person? How many questions am I going to ask? Tune in next time for That 70's...... I mean...... whatever this series is.
Barret- Would you Shu' up already!?!?!
Clerk- Actually, I was gonna--
Barret- I SAID SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*everyone crouches down to avoid the bullets*
Rufus- *is unconscious*
For the record- 1. I wuv Rufus, but it's just his turn to be the "blonde." 2. I'm hungry. 3. What was I talking about? 4. I think spiky should be spelled spikey cuz I do. 5. I'm STILL hungry.
-=- FYI: Rufus has now been cursed with "The Blonde" and the Turks are hangin' out in the staff only lounge of the Junon Airport Base Thing. Reno and Rude are watching "That 70's Show" and Elena is sitting in her recliner, painting her nails. Of course Rufus is rocking back and forth in a dark corner of the room. -=-
Reno- D00d, I luv this show.
Rude- Yeah, D00d, you said it man.
Rufus- No.... it isn't true..... I'm too hott...... I can't turn into a dumb blonde.....
Elena- Quit whining Rufus, or I'll come over there and b@#$^ slap you!!!
Reno- *eyes still on the TV* She has a point, you know.
Rufus- *thinking* Well, I haven't done anything too stupid yet. *to Turks* Okay, what are you guys wat--
-=- Just then Rufus slips on a rubber duckie that by some weird coincidence happened to be right in front of him. Rufus back flips and lands on his face with a loud *SNORT* .... I mean.....*THUD*-=-
Duckie- SQEEEEEEEEEKIEEEEE *flies into the air and lands on Elena's head*
Elena- *spills nail polish* @#%&*^*%%!!!!!!!!!
Rufus- ow....
Reno + Rude- *covering their smirks* Hey Rufus.... *heehee* ...are you..... *haha* ...okay? ......HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Rufus- D#$^#%^$%@#$@#&*^%!!!!!!! STOP LAUGHING YOU....... YOU............... STUPID............. TH-THINGS!!!!!!!!!!
Reno, Rude + Elena- HAHAHA.... he...... HAHA....... is a........ HAHAHA ......dumb blonde!!!!!!
-=- Rufus runs toward the lounge door, sobbing with his face in his hands, but, having now caught the blonde, misses the doorway. He instead collides with a door-post-majig-that-hurts-when-you-run-into-it. Technically, this would've happened anyways cuz the lounge door was shut, but anywho....-=-
Reno, Rude + Elena-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! * all fall over holding their stomachs*
Elena- *giggle* Sir..... *snort* ........do you *tear*........ need some help? Heehee.....
Rufus- Just #$^&^* off!!!!!!! *storms out of room, slamming the door behind him*
-=- The Turks quiet their laughter for a second only to hear, "AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" *thud, thud, thud, thunk, CRASH, shatter, shatter!!!!* All three once again break out in tearful laughter. After a few minutes they all calm down and go down the stairs to check on their leader.-=-
Reno- *calling down below* Hey, you okay, sir???
Elena- *runs ahead to help him up* Do you need some--
Rufus- X_x *bleed, bleed*
Rude- HOLY $*&#!!!!!! HE'S DEAD!!!!!!!
Reno- O #$^$%^$!!!! We're gonna be in some major #$^&$#$%#$% now!!!!!
Elena- Nooooooo!!!!!!! Not Rufus too!!!! I just got over losing Tseng!!!!!!! *breaks down in tears*
Tseng- Elena, what are you talking about????
Elena- *double-takes* Tseng!!! You're....... ALIVE!?!?!
Reno- Hold on here! *scratching record sound effect* You're dead!!!
Tseng- No I'm not!
Rude- Sephiroth killed you!
Tseng- No he didn't. That was my stunt double, Seng.
Reno- O, well I guess that clicks, but Rufus is still dead.
Rude- What are we going to do?
Elena- *clinging to Tseng's arm* I missed you soooooo much Tsengy-wengy!!!
Tseng- Can't...... feel........ arm........
Reno- We are so screwed!!!!
Tseng- *pulling Elena off him* C'mon, if we think, maybe we can fix this.
-=- The Turks stand by poor Rufus' corpse scratching their as- ....er..... chins and pondering like mad. Three hours later the blood is getting dry and it is the 467th time through the jeapordy song. Suddenly, in a whirl of, yes band music, Sheza appears and whispers something in Reno's ear. She hands him something green and shiney and disappears again.-=-
Rude- What was that all about??
Reno- *holding up a mastered "Revive" materia* This is just what the doctor ordered. Now if I just aim it right......
-=- Reno aims the materia and casts Life 2. Unfortunately, it hits a broken piece of the wooden stair railing.-=-
Railing piece- *high squeaky voice* I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! *exits stage up*
Tseng- A little more to the right.
Reno- One more try. *casts Life 2 on dead Rufus*
Rufus- .......ugh......
Elena- Sir, are you alright?
Rufus- I think I landed on my ass. *rubs...well...you know*
Tseng- *looks at other Turks* What did you do to him while I was gone?
Rude- Don't look at me, I wasn't even in that episode. *pouts*
Elena- Ask Reno. He was the one playing... *muffle*
Reno- *with hand over Elena's mouth* O, nothing happened, he was just cursed by some telephone solicitor. No biggie.
-=-Meanwhile, in a telemarketing company near you...........-=-
Boss- How's our plan coming?
Employee- The black plague has spread through Rocket Town, we have confirmation that all toilets have been clogged in Costa Del Sol, and our teams have successfully added earwax to all flavors of jellybeans.
Boss- Good work. Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
-=- Back to the Junon Airport Base Thing-=-
Rufus- You know....... falling down the stairs was kinda fun.....
-=- Rufus rushes past the Turks to the top of the stairs and a loud *thud, thud, meow, thud, smush* follows. This time, Rufus' fall is broken by Elena.-=-
Rufus- Thanks for breaking my fall, someone could've gotten hurt.
Elena- x_X
Reno- Guess I should revive her....
Tseng- No! I mean ........she's not dead..... *kicks her a little*...... she's just taking a nap..... see?
Reno- *shrugs* What ever you say.
Rude- Umm........ now what?
Scarlet- *walks in* What the !@$^%#$^ is going on here!?!?! Why is Elena *%^#%@# dead?!?!?!
Rufus- She's not dead. Tseng says she's just sleeping.
Scarlet- And why is Rufus acting like Clod!?!?!?!
Cloud- Hey!!!! It's Cloud not Clod you $^#$%# bitch!!!!
-=-Just then, Cloud trips oven a pink crayon and his spikey hair gets Scarlet right through the heart.-=-
Scarlet- How....... how is...... this...... possible..........?
Cloud- *holding hair gel tube* It's made by Pepsi, and it keeps my hair spiked 25/8.
Scarlet- Well, if it's made by Pepsi, it works for me........... *diez*
Rude- Now Scarlet AND Elena are dead.....
Reno- Normally, I would say PARTAY!!!!!!!, but there are no girls left to partay with.
Cloud- *thinking* Tick, tick, tick, ping!*to Turks* I know! You guys can come hang out with AVALANCHE!! We have girls!!!
Tseng- Wouldn't that be kinda awkward?
Cloud- *confused look* Why?
Tseng- We're enemies, remember?
Cloud- O..... yeah.......
Rude- As long as Tifa's there I'm game.
Rufus- I'm Rufus, nice to meet you.
All except Rufus- *stare* Yeah...........
-=- The Turks, minus Elena, follow Cloud to AVALANCHE's villa in Costa Del Sol. *yeah, it's been done 1000+ times, but tough* As they enter they find Barret and Red XIII fighting over the TV remote, Tifa and Aeris in a slap fight, Yuffie doing an Irish jig, Vincent sleeping upside down in a chair, and Cid stabbing Cait Sith.-=-
Cloud- Ummm...... hi guys. I brought some friends!
-=-Everyone stops what their doing and stares at the Turks with Cloud. Of course Vinnie is still sleeping and Sephiroth has appeared and is also staring open-mouthed.-=-
Cid- What the @#%&^%&$%^@ were you%^#$%# thinking when you $^#%@#$@#$@#$! invited those $^%#%@#$ing @#%&#%!@$!$# here!?!?!?!?!
Cloud- *firmly* Nothing at all.
All- *sweatdrop*
Reno- *watch beeps* Holy !@$!@#!!!! 5:30 already!!!
Rude- No way!!!!
-=- Reno grabs the remote and flicks on the TV as both jump onto the couch.- =-
Barret- What're yo' doin'!?!?
Reno- Hey! That 70's show is on!!!!
Barret- Wha'?! That time already!?!? *sits down*
-=-Cid + Red XIII join them-=-
Tseng- Why'd Cid kill Cait Sith? Hasn't that been done enough times in other fan fics??
Aeris- Yes, but the author is having trouble coming up with new ideas.
Tseng- How did you know that???
Aeris- You mean the Costa Del Sol villa, Cloud still being a dumb ass, and Cait Sith being offed weren't dead give aways?
Tseng- I see your point.
Sephiroth- I see that point and raise you 50 gil.
Yuffie- I raise YOU 500 gil!
Sephiroth- You're on!
-=- Yuffie and Sephiroth both hold their breath until Yuffie turns orange, then purple, then blue-ish green. She finally releases her breath and gasps for air.-=-
Yuffie- You.... *pant* ..... didn't even .......*gasp* ........flinch......
Sephiroth- I already died, I don't need to breath. Now pay up.
Yuffie- *giving him 500 gil* Lousy dead guy.
Tseng- What the @#^$^ was that!?!?!
Rufus- *jumping up and down* O! O! I know!!! Sephiroth beat Yuffie in a breath holding contest, right!?!?
Tseng- That's right! Good Rufus! *gets out a puppie treat and waves over his head* Get the snack! *throws it*
Rufus- *runs on all fours after the snack, but can't stop cuz Tifa just waxed the wood floor*
-=-Whack!!!-=-
Rufus- Mmmmm..... peanut butter.........*passes out*
Clerk- What weird plot twists are in store for this new group? Is Rufus going to be the prominent dumb ass of this series? Will Cloud try to regain his Stupidity Title? Have I been promoted to this series' narrator/ending person? How many questions am I going to ask? Tune in next time for That 70's...... I mean...... whatever this series is.
Barret- Would you Shu' up already!?!?!
Clerk- Actually, I was gonna--
Barret- I SAID SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!! ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*everyone crouches down to avoid the bullets*
Rufus- *is unconscious*
For the record- 1. I wuv Rufus, but it's just his turn to be the "blonde." 2. I'm hungry. 3. What was I talking about? 4. I think spiky should be spelled spikey cuz I do. 5. I'm STILL hungry.