A/N: Another weird chapter. A lot happens in it and it seems long but... it's not. Length-wise anyway. I've taken liberties with a few things (as you'll see soon) but I did so to make the story flow smoothly.
Read on...
Chapter 16- Alice and the Queen
( "Do not be afraid." )
The soft, musical voice entered her head and Karalynn looked up, surprised.
The Lady Galadriel, bright and glorious, was speaking out loud to Doláe as she sat on her simple throne before the silvery trunk of the great tree. Her voice echoed across the vast space of the grand chamber for all to hear and Karalynn frowned deeply at the sound of it. The voice in her head sounded exactly like the elf queen in front of her but how could that be?
The words spoken in her mind were different from what her ears heard.
She decided that she had probably imagined it and ignored the words in her mind.
Karalynn blinked and forced her face to stay emotionless like Legolas. It would not do to make him angry at her again. Perhaps if she stayed quiet and tried her very best to be just like him and the others, he wouldn't be mad at her anymore.
But it was a struggle to stay still.
( "He is not angry with you, young one. He is angry at himself." )
Karalynn's lips parted in shock.
It was the Lady Galadriel- it had to be!
Despite the fact that she was looking at Doláe, speaking to him of things banal and uninteresting to Karalynn.
Karalynn glanced at Legolas and the other Mirkwood elves, fighting the urge to run to them and tell them what was happening. They all stared at the exchange between the Lady Galadriel and Doláe, their faces blank and unreadable. Lord Celeborn sat silently beside her, still and perfect like a marble statue.
Karalynn, Legolas and the rest had finished the long climb and were now sitting in a large, elegant chamber atop a wide talan. They were far above the ground yet the floor underneath her feet felt solid and secure. The walls were green and silver and the roof, which was raised high above their heads, was of gold. Cool, white starlight filtered in through small openings in the walls. Though the space inside the chamber could have easily seated more than a hundred elves, only the Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn had been there to greet them.
Five chairs had been set before the two golden rulers of Lothlorien, four placed together and one set apart from the rest.
It was in this lone chair that Karalynn had been made to sit in.
Doláe had remained standing as he spoke to the Lady Galadriel and Lord Celeborn.
Karalynn wriggled in her chair, no longer able to contain her anxious body. She stared at her trembling hands and tried to force them to keep still. Her wrist was still sore from where Legolas had held her and she rubbed at the places where his fingers had been. She felt guilty for making him treat her in that way- it was her fault, after all. She had probably irritated him by trying to resist going up the tree to meet with the Lady Galadriel. She should have ignored the voices like Doláe and Tharuial had told her to. She had been acting like a foolish child- she could admit that.
But still.... Legolas' words had stung.
She thought that when he heard what she did, heard the voices that told her to stay back, he would be more understanding. She thought that Legolas would take some of the fear away, as he always did before, but instead she had angered him...
( "Legolas is not angry with you, young one. You must trust in that. Sometimes fear is twisted into anger and directed at those who are held most dear to our hearts." )
Karalynn looked up again, in consternation.
The moment she had set foot inside the chamber, the other voices, the ones that had frightened her- disappeared. For a moment, Karalynn had believed she was free of them. But now... but now she was hearing another voice and doubting her mind.
( "You did not doubt the existence of the voices that had warned you to leave this place- why do you now doubt the power of mine?" )
Karalynn blinked.
( "You are not imagining my voice, young one." )
As if to prove it, the Lady Galadriel turned her ageless, dark blue eyes towards Karalynn, briefly cutting off her conversation with Doláe. Karalynn trembled slightly at the weight of her gaze and looked back down at her hands. She bit down on her lower lip nervously.
( "I believe you, Lady Galadriel." )
( "Do you believe that you have no need to fear me?" )
Karalynn hesitated and decided to tell the truth. She had a feeling the radiant elf could see into her heart and know if she told a lie.
( "No." )
( "Why is this?" )
( "Because they told me not to come here." )
( "Do you know who they are?" )
( "No." )
( "They are the voices of your servants. They obey your command and seek to protect you from the forces that they deem harmful. Yet they are not all-knowing and often mistake the unknown for things evil. They can not reach your mind now, now that you are within the circle of my power." )
Karalynn raised her eyes once more and frowned deeply.
( "What do you mean... they obey me. How? Why? I don't understand." )
( "Because that is the way of the elements. Wind, fire, earth and water. They obey who they must." )
Her heart grew heavy, confusion darkened her mind and spirit.
( "But I am no one. I have nothing.... Lady Galadriel, who am I?" )
( "Who do you think you are?" )
( "I thought I came here to find out. I thought you would tell me!" )
( "Is there need to tell you that which you already know?" )
Karalynn's thoughts fell silent.
But she didn't know who she was! If she did, then she wouldn't be going through this! None of this would be happening. Karalynn grew cold at the thought that all they had been through was in vain. If the Lady Galadriel couldn't tell her who she was, then....
( "Sometimes, the things that we fear the most are our only salvation. We hide our secret fears in the darkness of our mind, locked inside a box that no key can open. Though we abhor them, it is the things we are most afraid of that can save us. What is it that you fear the most, young one?" )
Karalynn did not reply, not trusting herself to think that deeply. Her greatest fear... no, she would not speak of it- even to such a powerful and glorious elf as the Lady.
( "What is your name?" )
Karalynn frowned.
( "Karalynn. I thought you would know that, Lady Galadriel! I don't know what my last name is but I know that is my first." )
( "Are you certain of this, young one?" )
And suddenly she wasn't.
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Legolas was at odds with himself.
As Doláe told the Lady Galadriel of their travels, Legolas glanced at Karalynn. Despite the majestic and ethereal beauty of the royal chamber, his mind could not focus on anything or anyone but the mortal girl. She sat in her chair, set at an infuriating distance from the rest of them, and twisted around uncomfortably as if she could not stay still. The Lady of the Golden Wood was known for her wisdom but why she would separate Karalynn from them made Legolas doubt her reputation. Wasn't it obvious that the girl was nervous and frightened? Anyone with eyes could see the tense way she held her body... and the way she rubbed at her wrist.
I did that to her, Legolas thought miserably, I turned a blind ear to her pleading and inflicted pain upon her when I should have comforted her.
( "Why do you berate yourself so harshly, Prince of Mirkwood? She is only your human charge, is she not? You were told to bring her to Lothlorien and you have done your duty well." )
Legolas fought to keep his face and body still. The Lady Galadriel was also known for her powerful magic and abilities but he had not been prepared for this. To hear her voice in his mind as if she spoke in his ear. She was still speaking to Doláe and yet... and yet she was speaking to Legolas as well.
( "Tell me, golden Prince, why does it matter whether or not she is afraid? Is that not your concern?" )
( "It is." )
( "Why?" )
( "Because I am responsible for her." )
( "But why do her feelings mean so much to you- to an immortal First Born such as yourself? Are you not above all creatures of Middle Earth? Able to distance yourself from others' worries and troubles?" )
Legolas felt wonder at her words.
Were the Lady Galadriel's words meant to sound so cold? Was she not a lady of great kindness or was that kindness only towards their kind?
( "Perhaps, Lady Galadriel, I am to be considered different from the other elves of this world. I will not and can not deny that I care deeply for Karalynn. I will not push her away from me if she needs me and I will not harm her." )
( "And yet you have already done so. Did she not beg you to bring her back to your wood? Did tears not fill her eyes as she pleaded with you to understand her pain and take her to your home? Did you not, in your determination to keep my advisors from noticing her, press your fingers down on her fragile hand to keep her quiet?" )
Legolas felt a rush of intense shame flood his body and he lowered his eyes, unable to reply even with his thoughts. He felt as if he had been stripped naked and humiliated. How utterly cruel and thoughtless of him to harden his heart towards Karalynn and force her to follow him. He was a brutal hypocrite.
( "Dear Prince, why do you continue to berate yourself so harshly?" )
( "Because you are right. I have hurt her even though... even though I care so much about her. I turned my back on her when she asked for my protection." )
Legolas raised his eyes once more and stared at Galadriel, though she did not look at him.
( "I love her, Lady Galadriel. I will beg her forgiveness for a thousand lifetimes for what I have done." )
( "Ah, dear Prince- do you know why elves seek always to keep themselves apart from other creatures? It is because we feel so deeply the sorrows and fears that other creatures experience, we can not pull our own thoughts apart from theirs. Their pain is our pain- tenfold. Their many sadnesses become such a great and heavy burden that it often blinds us to the truth. Examine your thoughts carefully, Legolas- she is but a few feet away from you and yet you react with such great revulsion at that short distance." )
( "Do you doubt the sincerity of my emotions?" )
( "Love is a word that signifies the willingness to sacrifice, Legolas. To choose another's happiness over your own. When the time comes, will you be able to do so? To follow her wishes instead of yours?" )
( "Yes." )
Galadriel turned away from Doláe and looked at Legolas with a piercing stare.
( "You answer without much thought, dear Prince. I do not doubt that you love her- though you are fully aware of the folly of your choice, but I do doubt the quality of your love." )
( "What do you mean?" )
Galadriel turned her eyes towards Karalynn and it seemed that Karalynn grew still, staring back at the Lady with wide eyes. She looked down after a moment, biting her lip.
( "Legolas, the hardest decisions to make are the ones that go against what we want." )
( "My Lady, I do not understand." )
The Lady Galadriel did not answer him.
He glanced at Karalynn and blinked in surprise. She was sitting up straight, rigid and still and her expression was one of deep and profound shock. Confusion. But something else... something that worried Legolas more than anything else that had happened before.
It was a look of remembrance- faint but there.
( "What have you told her? What do you whisper in her mind, Lady Galadriel? What...?" )
So caught up in his thoughts, Legolas did not notice that Galadriel had finished speaking to Doláe. She smiled gently at the group and looked at Lord Celeborn, nodding once. He looked at Legolas, his silver hair glinting like satin in the bright moonlight, and then looked at Faran, Fortinbas and Nuratar.
And then he looked at Karalynn, studying her face with careful appraisal.
"Elves of Mirkwood, kindred of my own heart, may you find rest tonight under the warm protection of the trees of Lorien. The Galadhrim welcome you all with open arms." he said, standing up. "You have traveled for many days over many miles to reach this fair wood and though I understand the urgency of your need to find the answers you seek, rest your worries for one night. You shall sleep in the royal quarters for as long as you remain here and food shall be brought to you as you so request it."
Lord Celeborn turned to Doláe and nodded once.
"Tomorrow morn, when they have arisen, I ask that Doláe fetch the Prince and the girl to be brought back to this place." he said. "As this meeting was of the Lady's wishes, she shall have say over the matters that concern you. Faran, Fortinbas, Nuratar, I give you free leave over this realm and you have my blessing to wander where you will."
He pressed his hands together and smiled lightly, a sight that caused the other elves to feel a stirring of mirth within their hearts. They were truly welcomed in Lothlorien and were finally to be set at ease. Legolas glanced at his friends and saw a look of relief on each of their faces.
For a moment in time, he was jealous of their ease.
Doláe walked away from the thrones and towards the two large doors they had passed through earlier. Two other elves walked in and one stood where Legolas and his company sat. The other moved towards Karalynn. Lord Celeborn gestured to the male elf that stood near Legolas.
"Tasarë shall take you to your rooms." he said and then looked at Karalynn and the female elf that stood beside her chair. "Nefernil shall take you to your room, young one. Rest well, all of you! I bid you all peace and clarity of heart till the next time we gather like this."
Lord Celeborn sat down and Legolas watched as Nefernil gently bid Karalynn to stand up. Karalynn threw a questioning look at Legolas and he smiled slightly at her in return. She sighed and allowed herself to be lead out of the chamber.
"Your Highness, come." Tasarë said, bowing slightly to Legolas and the others. "We have prepared food and clothing for yourself and your company. You may have your meals in your quarters or you may join a few of our kind in the royal dining room."
Legolas looked at his friends and smiled politely.
"Thank you, Tasarë, but I think I speak for all of us when I say that we wish to dine in our quarters." he said. He watched quietly as Faran, Fortinbas and Nuratar got to their feet before slowly rising himself. He wanted to know where Karalynn would be staying, how far she would be from him and if she would be well taken of. Despite Galadriel's power, Legolas wasn't sure that the other elves knew how to deal with Karalynn's fragile state of mind. As Tasarë led them towards the doors leading to the outside, Legolas turned around and looked back at Galadriel.
( "I will be allowed to visit with the mortal, will I not? Though I do not doubt the great hospitality of the Galadhrim, I would like to see her before I rest tonight." )
Galadriel's lips curved softly in a kind and gentle smile and she nodded slightly.
"Yes, dear Prince." she said, her deep voice filling the chamber with its haunting sound. "Tasarë will take you to her room as you wish but I suggest that you rest first. You will find that your rooms are quite close together and it will take but a few footsteps to reach her, if the need so arises."
Legolas exhaled, releasing some of the tension that had been in his body.
"Thank you, Lady Galadriel." he said. "And thank you, Lord Celeborn, for the kindness that you have shown us."
He turned around to walk to the door when the Lady Galadriel's voice entered his mind once more.
( "But Prince Legolas, why do you assume that she is mortal?" )
Legolas froze.
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Despite the Lady Galadriel's words, Legolas could not wait for Tasarë to take him to Karalynn. He slipped out of his room a few minutes after Tasarë left him and began to walk aimlessly down the length of the talan that he was on. He could feel her presence near him and it was not his elven senses that helped him either. He felt guided by some force unseen, as if a string had been attached between the both of them and he was following it. Perhaps whatever she had done to him- whatever had passed between them when she touched him was deeper and more profound than he had initially assumed.
Now his need to find her and be with her was stronger than it was before- even stronger than it had been when he had declared his intentions for her before his family and friends. This feeling was more than just a physical desire to touch her or see her- he needed her.
( ...why do you assume that she is mortal?... )
Was Karalynn not a mortal human then? She was not an elf, that was certain... but was she still somehow an immortal? The thought filled him with great joy- for if Karalynn was indeed immortal then their bonding would not end in sorrow! He could tell his father and his brothers that they had no need to worry for him!
But... then what was she?
Legolas closed his eyes and let his body move as it willed. He could feel her somehow, could hear the unique beat of her heart through the air, guiding him.
Was she a sorceress? Was her loss of memory due to some magic gone wrong? If that was the case then Legolas had no doubt that Lady Galadriel could help her- for the Lady too seemed well-versed in things beyond the understanding of most creatures. There was also no doubt in his mind that Karalynn was a being of right and goodness. She was too soft-hearted and kind to be capable of anything remotely evil. And she was obviously powerful- the incident with the spiders had shown him of that. But if she was indeed immortal...
( "Legolas, the hardest decisions to make are the ones that go against what we want." )
....what if she had bound herself to another? Would not her binding be eternal also?
Legolas stopped in front of a small roofed house. Like his own room, there were small windows cut through the wooden walls to allow for starlight to illuminate the space inside. This was her room- he just knew it was. His space seemed larger than Karalynn's but not so much so. The Lord and Lady of Lothlorien had given him three rooms to himself- one for bathing, one for dressing and the largest- a bedroom. From the looks of it, Karalynn's quarters were probably the same.
The door was ornate and covered with delicate designs. Curling leaves and blooming flowers had been carved into the wood and Legolas reached out to trace them with a finger. He could feel Karalynn through the door- her warmth seemed to radiate across the barrier between them. Yet he could not bring himself to knock. Not yet. He had to think and gather his thoughts first.
If she were bound eternally to someone else then he had to let her go- there was no question of that. The union of two souls was a serious matter and Legolas had allowed himself to slip into a gray unconscious of that fact. But now he had to face harsh reality. He had never loved before, never given his heart to another and was always careful in matters that concerned such things. An elf's love was never frivolous nor easily given and yet what had he done so quickly in a matter of weeks? He had acted without thinking, felt without consideration and now here he was, standing in front of a door that separated him from the woman he had made his claim on.
Without her consent. Without even her knowledge.
How could he have been so foolish? He was no longer a child, no longer like Lohr- his actions could not be excused by youth and inexperience. He had seen the power of what love could do- of what it could provide for those involved. Eternal happiness. Eternal companionship. Never to be alone again, in the bliss and warmth of the one you had chosen. And yet what had he done? The Prince of Mirkwood, the eldest son of the King, no less.
What had he done?
Legolas stepped back, feeling the full force of his realizations hit his chest. He had bound himself to one that might already be bound, given himself so carelessly to a woman who had the mind of a child, a woman whose mysteries seemed endless and dark. He had been foolish and hasty and unwise and elves were not those things.
And yet....
Legolas reached out for the door again and laid his cheek against its cool, hard surface. Here now was his choice to make- to enter her room or to walk away. He needed to think clearly and rationally but his thoughts were too chaotic and his feelings too strong.
If given the chance to change his mind, he would not- could not, do it. She was his and he was hers. No thought needed to be involved in that fact. It simply felt right when he held her, he felt complete when she was near him. Legolas closed his eyes and sighed. Yes, what he had done was hasty and foolish but there was no other path he could have taken. Maybe she had been placed in the wood by the Valar for him to find. Maybe she was being given to him by higher beings. Maybe this was simply a trial to be gotten through and endured- something to look back on hundreds of years later by the both of them, together.
It did not matter.
She was his and he was hers. Even if she belonged to someone else, his love would continue until nothing was left of him but a lost and wandering spirit with a broken heart. Maybe it was a mistake- to fall in love with her. Maybe it was not meant to be but he had already made his choice.
He would not let her go.
Ever.
( "Love is a word that signifies the willingness to sacrifice, Legolas. To choose another's happiness over your own. When the time comes, will you be able to do so? To follow her wishes instead of yours?" )
Legolas opened his eyes and knocked on the door.
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Galadriel looked into her mirror and felt a great and foreboding sadness enter her heart.
"Your course is already set, dear Prince." she said softly to the slim, proud figure that shimmered lightly in the reflective pool of water. "You have made your decision and there shall be no turning back for you. I can not help you from this moment on and I shall only bring you pain though I mean not to. Ah, Prince of Mirkwood, disaster is your choice and eternal longing shall be your destiny. What folly your heart has lead you to."
The water rippled lightly and the image before her watchful gaze changed.
"Elements, be patient." she said softly. "Be patient. She is safe. By sunset tomorrow, your queen shall be returned to you though she wills it not."
A soft breeze ran through the golden hair of the golden Lady and she closed her eyes, sighing.
She mourned deeply for the loss of happiness.