-=- The author you are trying to reach is currently unavailable. Please
leave a message after the tone.... *WARK!!* "Hey, I just called to tell you
all that I don't own FF7 or CTR. And stop calling my house and hangin
up!!!!! THAT'S SO ANNOYING!!!!"
-=-Well, I guess I must set the scene before you review and read it. Wait, I mean write and review... no.... o just never mind! The gang has gone back to the newly remodeled Shinra Mansion, after discovering that Emerald Weapon was near-by and itching for revenge. Tifa and Aeris are having some tea in the kitchen, with some little tea cookies. Red XIII is napping, while Yuffie is trying to catch his tail. Barret and Cid are arguing over which of them has the best limit break, and Tseng is sleeping on the job in a recliner.*figure that one out!* Sephiroth and Vincent have gone to get some..... stuff....... Nobody knows where Rufus went.-=-
Reno- Haha!! I get the first line!!!! You suck Clod!!!
Cloud- It's Cloud, damnit!!!
Rude- *quietly* Why don't I ever get the opening line??
Reno- Who cares? I win! HahahahahahahahahahHAha...... *turns red*
Cloud- Well, at least I'm not goin' through puberty!
Reno- Grrrrr...... *grabs a cat that just happened to have been sitting near by*
Cat- Hiss!!!
Cloud- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Rude- *quiet and whiny* Doesn't anyone care?? I'm going through an emotional withdrawl here. I could use a little support.
Cloud- *jumps into Phish's fish tank* Haag, haag ybol neber bet meg nowb! (Ha, ha you'll never get me now!)
Cat- Hissssssss!!!!! *backs away*
Phish- Blub, blub, blub.... *twitch of anger*
Cloud- Uhb- ohg.... (Uh-oh....)
Phish- GURGGLE, GURGGLE!!!! *steals his Master Summon materia and summons Typhoon*
Cloud- Aggggggggggg!!!!! (You figure it out.....) *flies out of tank* *SPLAT! Drip, drip*
Phish- *shakes fin in Cloud's general direction and goes back to knitting*
Reno- Mwahahahahaha!!!! *pets the cat*
Rude- *still quiet and whiny* Aw man, now my favorite jacket is wet. Aw dang, it smells like a pond. I don't wanna clean this up, mom.
Tifa- *enters from kitchen* What's going on in-- *gasp*
Cloud- *climbing out of a 5 foot deep, Cloud-shaped hole in the wall* I have to mow the windows now..... *passes out*
Tifa- Reno..... *gives him "The Look"*
Reno- *cringe* I.... It.... It was Rude!!
Rude- *innocent look* Nu-uh.
Tifa- Damnit! We JUST remodeled this place! You are in so much trouble! Both of you!!!
Rude + Reno- But...
Tifa- GO TO YOUR ROOMS!!!
Reno + Rude- *quietly*Yes ma'm... *both scurry off*
-=- After 2 hours of cleaning, the house is back to normal, except the pond smell. Tifa is waiting for Cid to get out of the bathroom so she can take a shower.-=-
Tifa- *bangs on door* Hurry UP!!! I smell like seaweed!!!
Cid- &^@)()*^#!!!! Wait..... weed??
Tifa- Just get your ass out of there!!
Cid- *walks out of the bathroom in a towel* Fine. It's all yours.
Tifa- Finally! *rushes in and closes the door*
-=- Back in the main room where every one except Cid, Tifa, Sephiroth and Vincent are watching Red XIII and Barret play CTR-=-
Barret- Haha! Take that Red!
Red XIII- Take what?
Barret- I'm kicking your ass at this game!
Red XIII- I have paws. How am I supposed to use a Playstation controller?
Barret- How should I know?
Yuffie- Sit on it, Red.
Red XIII- Okay. *sits*
Barret- What the.... *blanches* How..... how.....? ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!
Red XIII- Interesting.
Yuffie- Cool.
Cloud- *waking up* What? Where? Why are you saying arg?
Tseng- *whispers to Cloud* He says Arg because he's really a pirate.
Barret- I am not!
Tseng- Yes you are. Shinra has it on file.
Barret- Take it back or I'll keelhaul the lot o' ya!
Cloud- Then it's true! Phish is a leprechaun!!!
Phish- ...
Reno- *peeks out of his bedroom door* Is it safe to come out?
Rude- *doing the same* Yeah. Is she gone?
Tseng- She's in the shower.
Reno + Rude- *sigh of relief*
Reno- Damn, I really need some alcohol. To the fridge! *walks toward the kitchen*
Cloud- *grabs Reno's shirt and gets on his knees* No, man! Don't go in there! Aeris is cooking dinner! You know how it is when she's cooking dinner!!
Reno- *blink* Ummm..... yeah. So what?
Cloud- She'll eat you alive!
Reno- *pictures and Aeris-Dragon* Okay. *pulls Cloud off his shirt* I'll get you one too.
-=- Reno casually walks into the kitchen, opens the refrigerator, grabs two beers and heads back to the living room. Suddenly, Aeris appears in front of him, blocking the doorway with a ladle. -=-
Reno- Ummm.... Hi, Aeris.
Aeris- Finally I get a line! Oh, Reno, do you see something wrong with this kitchen?
Reno- *looks a bit confused* Not... really....
Aeris- *leans closer* There is something wrong with it. Can you guess what it is?
Reno- I.... umm..... *gulp* ...I don't know...
Aeris- *evil look* You're in it.
Reno- ....shit....
-=- We return to the main room where Yuffie is again trying to catch Red XIII's tail. Loud crashes and surprisingly high-pitched screams can be heard coming from the kitchen.-=-
Red XIII- Why are you trying to catch my tail?
Yuffie- It looks like materia if you squint at it really hard for 5 hours straight.
Red XIII- Right.
Tifa- *walks in* Hey guys. What's all that racket about?
Cloud- He wouldn't listen. He's a goner.
Tifa- Uhh... Tseng?
Tseng- He went in while Aeris was cooking.
Tifa- What a moron.
Rude- Tif, are you still mad at me?
Tifa- Awww.... I couldn't stay mad at you. *hugs*
Rude- *hugs back* Yay. *sniffs hair* Mmm.... *sniff* heh *sniff* heh heh heh *sniff* hahaha..... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Tifa- What the hell!? *smacks Rude*
Rude- *twitch* Heeheeheeheehee.... ulk...... *passes out*
Yuffie- What the hell is in your shampoo?!
Tifa- I didn't use mine! I left it in my room, so I had to use Cid's!
Cid- *appears suddenly in the room* You WHAT?! %(*@#$#@^$*^!!!
Tifa- What in the name of Meteor did you put in it?! CRACK!?
Cid- Duh! %^&#%(* that crap is ^*(&%^&$@ing expensive!!
Aeris- *pokes head out of kitchen and smiles* Hey, dinner's ready.
Everyone- WOOHOO!!
Tseng- *to Aeris* Oh, where is Reno? He has to be at work tomorrow. We have a mission you know.
Aeris- *big smile* He just stepped out to drink his beers.
Tseng- *looks at the bloody, broken window* Okay....
Clerk- Is Reno okay? How long will he be in the hospital? Where did the fish and cat come from? Is this getting old? If I were the author, would I say tough monkeys? Where did Sephiroth and Vincent go? That'll be 25, 769 gil.
Sephiroth- *sigh* Fine. *hands him the money*
Vincent- ...
Author- *discos* Ah ah ah ah stayin alive, stayin alive!!
-=-Well, I guess I must set the scene before you review and read it. Wait, I mean write and review... no.... o just never mind! The gang has gone back to the newly remodeled Shinra Mansion, after discovering that Emerald Weapon was near-by and itching for revenge. Tifa and Aeris are having some tea in the kitchen, with some little tea cookies. Red XIII is napping, while Yuffie is trying to catch his tail. Barret and Cid are arguing over which of them has the best limit break, and Tseng is sleeping on the job in a recliner.*figure that one out!* Sephiroth and Vincent have gone to get some..... stuff....... Nobody knows where Rufus went.-=-
Reno- Haha!! I get the first line!!!! You suck Clod!!!
Cloud- It's Cloud, damnit!!!
Rude- *quietly* Why don't I ever get the opening line??
Reno- Who cares? I win! HahahahahahahahahahHAha...... *turns red*
Cloud- Well, at least I'm not goin' through puberty!
Reno- Grrrrr...... *grabs a cat that just happened to have been sitting near by*
Cat- Hiss!!!
Cloud- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Rude- *quiet and whiny* Doesn't anyone care?? I'm going through an emotional withdrawl here. I could use a little support.
Cloud- *jumps into Phish's fish tank* Haag, haag ybol neber bet meg nowb! (Ha, ha you'll never get me now!)
Cat- Hissssssss!!!!! *backs away*
Phish- Blub, blub, blub.... *twitch of anger*
Cloud- Uhb- ohg.... (Uh-oh....)
Phish- GURGGLE, GURGGLE!!!! *steals his Master Summon materia and summons Typhoon*
Cloud- Aggggggggggg!!!!! (You figure it out.....) *flies out of tank* *SPLAT! Drip, drip*
Phish- *shakes fin in Cloud's general direction and goes back to knitting*
Reno- Mwahahahahaha!!!! *pets the cat*
Rude- *still quiet and whiny* Aw man, now my favorite jacket is wet. Aw dang, it smells like a pond. I don't wanna clean this up, mom.
Tifa- *enters from kitchen* What's going on in-- *gasp*
Cloud- *climbing out of a 5 foot deep, Cloud-shaped hole in the wall* I have to mow the windows now..... *passes out*
Tifa- Reno..... *gives him "The Look"*
Reno- *cringe* I.... It.... It was Rude!!
Rude- *innocent look* Nu-uh.
Tifa- Damnit! We JUST remodeled this place! You are in so much trouble! Both of you!!!
Rude + Reno- But...
Tifa- GO TO YOUR ROOMS!!!
Reno + Rude- *quietly*Yes ma'm... *both scurry off*
-=- After 2 hours of cleaning, the house is back to normal, except the pond smell. Tifa is waiting for Cid to get out of the bathroom so she can take a shower.-=-
Tifa- *bangs on door* Hurry UP!!! I smell like seaweed!!!
Cid- &^@)()*^#!!!! Wait..... weed??
Tifa- Just get your ass out of there!!
Cid- *walks out of the bathroom in a towel* Fine. It's all yours.
Tifa- Finally! *rushes in and closes the door*
-=- Back in the main room where every one except Cid, Tifa, Sephiroth and Vincent are watching Red XIII and Barret play CTR-=-
Barret- Haha! Take that Red!
Red XIII- Take what?
Barret- I'm kicking your ass at this game!
Red XIII- I have paws. How am I supposed to use a Playstation controller?
Barret- How should I know?
Yuffie- Sit on it, Red.
Red XIII- Okay. *sits*
Barret- What the.... *blanches* How..... how.....? ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!
Red XIII- Interesting.
Yuffie- Cool.
Cloud- *waking up* What? Where? Why are you saying arg?
Tseng- *whispers to Cloud* He says Arg because he's really a pirate.
Barret- I am not!
Tseng- Yes you are. Shinra has it on file.
Barret- Take it back or I'll keelhaul the lot o' ya!
Cloud- Then it's true! Phish is a leprechaun!!!
Phish- ...
Reno- *peeks out of his bedroom door* Is it safe to come out?
Rude- *doing the same* Yeah. Is she gone?
Tseng- She's in the shower.
Reno + Rude- *sigh of relief*
Reno- Damn, I really need some alcohol. To the fridge! *walks toward the kitchen*
Cloud- *grabs Reno's shirt and gets on his knees* No, man! Don't go in there! Aeris is cooking dinner! You know how it is when she's cooking dinner!!
Reno- *blink* Ummm..... yeah. So what?
Cloud- She'll eat you alive!
Reno- *pictures and Aeris-Dragon* Okay. *pulls Cloud off his shirt* I'll get you one too.
-=- Reno casually walks into the kitchen, opens the refrigerator, grabs two beers and heads back to the living room. Suddenly, Aeris appears in front of him, blocking the doorway with a ladle. -=-
Reno- Ummm.... Hi, Aeris.
Aeris- Finally I get a line! Oh, Reno, do you see something wrong with this kitchen?
Reno- *looks a bit confused* Not... really....
Aeris- *leans closer* There is something wrong with it. Can you guess what it is?
Reno- I.... umm..... *gulp* ...I don't know...
Aeris- *evil look* You're in it.
Reno- ....shit....
-=- We return to the main room where Yuffie is again trying to catch Red XIII's tail. Loud crashes and surprisingly high-pitched screams can be heard coming from the kitchen.-=-
Red XIII- Why are you trying to catch my tail?
Yuffie- It looks like materia if you squint at it really hard for 5 hours straight.
Red XIII- Right.
Tifa- *walks in* Hey guys. What's all that racket about?
Cloud- He wouldn't listen. He's a goner.
Tifa- Uhh... Tseng?
Tseng- He went in while Aeris was cooking.
Tifa- What a moron.
Rude- Tif, are you still mad at me?
Tifa- Awww.... I couldn't stay mad at you. *hugs*
Rude- *hugs back* Yay. *sniffs hair* Mmm.... *sniff* heh *sniff* heh heh heh *sniff* hahaha..... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Tifa- What the hell!? *smacks Rude*
Rude- *twitch* Heeheeheeheehee.... ulk...... *passes out*
Yuffie- What the hell is in your shampoo?!
Tifa- I didn't use mine! I left it in my room, so I had to use Cid's!
Cid- *appears suddenly in the room* You WHAT?! %(*@#$#@^$*^!!!
Tifa- What in the name of Meteor did you put in it?! CRACK!?
Cid- Duh! %^&#%(* that crap is ^*(&%^&$@ing expensive!!
Aeris- *pokes head out of kitchen and smiles* Hey, dinner's ready.
Everyone- WOOHOO!!
Tseng- *to Aeris* Oh, where is Reno? He has to be at work tomorrow. We have a mission you know.
Aeris- *big smile* He just stepped out to drink his beers.
Tseng- *looks at the bloody, broken window* Okay....
Clerk- Is Reno okay? How long will he be in the hospital? Where did the fish and cat come from? Is this getting old? If I were the author, would I say tough monkeys? Where did Sephiroth and Vincent go? That'll be 25, 769 gil.
Sephiroth- *sigh* Fine. *hands him the money*
Vincent- ...
Author- *discos* Ah ah ah ah stayin alive, stayin alive!!