A/N: Hm.. a short chapter.

Chapter 18- Of Shadows and Names

( `Oh, I've had such a curious dream!' said Alice, and she told her sister, as well as she could remember them.

All these strange Adventures of hers that she had; and when she had finished,

her sister kissed her, and said, `It was a curious dream, dear, certainly:

but now run in to your tea; it's getting late.'

So Alice got up and ran off, thinking while she ran, as well she might, what a wonderful dream it had been. )

Karalynn sat up gasping and drew her knees up to her chest reflexively. Her heart was pounding in her chest and her skin felt clammy and cold. She shivered for a few minutes before her breathing finally slowed down and her heartbeat was at a normal pace once more.

That dream was...

It was...

My love. a soft voice whispered into her ear. You are shivering.

Karalynn jerked forward, propelling herself to the edge of the foot of her bed. Her gray eyes looked back and she froze at the sight before her.

Legolas was sitting up, one arm outstretched for her. A single ray of sunlight illuminated his finely carved face and his eyes were a startling shade of blue against his pale skin. He was a vision of perfection, a sight that anyone would have been joyful to find in their bed.

But Karalynn stared at him, terrified and deeply disturbed.

He was unclothed from the waist down... which was as far as she could see. His torso was slender but strong and his arms were lightly muscled from his use of the bow. The sheet lay rumpled and wrinkled around his waist and Karalynn felt her stomach lurch at the thought of what lay underneath it.

What had happened the night before?

Karalynn looked down, afraid of what she would find and almost groaned in relief when she saw that she was wearing a white nightgown. She clutched at the material and then felt her blood run cold once more.

She didn't remember changing into this gown. In fact, the last thing she could remember before the dream was being in the pool...

My love, why do you pull away from me? he asked softly.

What are you doing here? she asked suddenly, looking up at him. Who changed my clothing? What... what happened last night?

A look of uncertainty flickered across Legolas' face and he slowly lowered his arm, blinking at her. Was she imagining the look of sadness in his eyes or was that the light playing tricks on her eyes? His delicate, pink lips trembled for a second and a small wrinkle appeared on his brow, just above the space between his eyes.

You mean to say, he said slowly. That you do not remember... anything?

I fell asleep. she said in a small voice.

She drew her knees up to her chest and shivered, but this time it was not because she was cold. The look Legolas was giving her... he was not angry with her. At least Karalynn didn't think so. He looked... he looked...

( He is sad... )

Yes, he looked sad. But the word sad' could not convey the expression on his face. Karalynn didn't think she could even comprehend what that look meant nor what lay behind it.

She only knew that somehow, she was the reason for it.

Did I... did I do something? she asked, choking on her words. Legolas, did I do something last night that I shouldn't have? I... I don't...

What is the last thing you remember? Legolas asked. His face was wiped clean of emotions and she lowered her eyes, unable to face the impassive face of an elf. Tell me, Karalynn. What is the last memory you have of the night before?

I took off the dress and went into the water. she said, staring at the white sheets. And it was so warm and nice that I... I lay my head against the edge and closed my eyes. After that, I...

She shrugged helplessly.

That's all I know. she said. And then the dream...

What did you dream, Karalynn?

Karalynn felt her cheeks grow hot and she bit her lip, trying to decide whether or not she should tell him the truth. It was a personal dream, really, a private thing and she wasn't sure it was right to tell Legolas of the things she had done... in the dream.

I... well, she began, blushing brightly now. It's hard to explain...

What were we doing in the dream?

Karalynn looked up, startled at his words.

Oh no, it wasn't you and me. she said quickly. It was me and someone else. Another man but his eyes were just like....

Legolas seemed to wilt before her and his blue eyes grew dark as he looked away. He drew in a shallow breath and Karalynn felt confusion at the sudden change in her friend.

Why are you in my bed, Legolas? she asked quietly. Was I ill last night? Is that why I can't remember?

It was not a dream. he said.

Karalynn stared at him.

What do you mean?

It was not a dream to me. he said, slowly lifting his eyes to meet hers. It may have been so to you, in your mind, and it may have been another man you were with but it was not a dream.

Karalynn felt as if her heart had stopped beating. Her blood felt like ice-water in her veins and for a moment, all she could do was stare at Legolas. Surely he was lying to her! It was a dream and just that! How could anything in her dream be real?

You lie. she whispered before she could stop the words that fell out of her mouth.

Elves do not lie. Legolas said coldly.

He lowered his eyes and Karalynn remained silent as he moved out from under the sheets. He wore loose fitting white pants, simple and neat, with a white cloth belt tied around his waist. He stood at the side of her bed and looked down at her, emotionless and blank. Karalynn drew her gown around her tightly and tried to make herself as small as possible on her bed. She suddenly felt horribly naked; exposed and vulnerable. Her arms covered her chest and she began to tremble violently.

The dream...

( It was not a dream. )

She had... they had....

Each caresss, each touch, each gasp and moan...

They had been real.

And it had been Legolas.

The thought made her feel sick and lightheaded.

How could she have done something so stupid!

How could she not remember?

Why didn't she wake up when it started, when the dream began?

( How could I betray him? Matthew? My vows? My ring? )

Without being conscious of it, her right hand clutched at her left one, rubbing at the base of her fourth finger as if turning a ring there.

She began to rock back and forth, rubbing her finger and weeping softly.

She did not notice when Legolas walked out nor did she look up when the door closed behind him.

And that was how Nefernil found her, only a short time later.

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Legolas turned his head to watch Tasarë walk out of the small garden. He was dressed in a tunic of silver and white and though he had protested against wearing it, a thin circlet of silver was placed atop his head.

A small crown, a symbol, to remind him of who he was and what he was.

Legolas wondered why he was being made to wear such a thing.

No birds sang though the morning air was clear and sweet. He was standing to the side of a small clearing, surrounded by trees, great and small. Gray elven statues rose out of the earth and to his side, a small fountain stood, bubbling water out of its mouth.

In the center of the clearing was a stone basin, held up by a short column covered by delicate white blossoms.

He wondered where the Lady Galadriel was.

He wondered where Karalynn was.

( Oh no, it wasn't you and me. It was me and someone else. Another man but his eyes were just like.... )

He felt his body weaken at the memory of her words.

The night before had seemed so perfect; so right. After they had finished in the pool, Legolas had carried her to the bed where they had...

( Oh no, it wasn't you and me.... )

She had clung to him tightly, whispering in his ear as he moved inside of her that she loved him, that she would always love him.

But he remembered, with a sharp pain to his heart, that she had not once said his name that night.

Their bodies had moved together, in perfect rhythm and harmony as if they were built for each other and no one else. Afterwards, when she had fallen asleep, Legolas had redressed her in the white gown that he had set out earlier that evening. He had watched her sleeping the rest of the night, held in a trance by her softly parted lips and slowly moving chest. Each breath had been like music to his ears, each gentle murmur had made him smile.

For a few short hours he had been at peace. His mind had been settled on the matter between them and he had thought, he had been so sure that no matter what happened from then on, she had chosen him.

But when she had awakened that morning... when she had told him that it wasn't him who she had been thinking of....

He had left her then because to watch her cry, to shed tears for someone else was too painful to bear. He felt that if he did not leave her at that moment, his heart would surely cease to beat but that wasn't what made him go. It had been obvious to him that she did not want him to linger in her room any longer and so he left her though he would have willingly died at her feet to remain but a minute more.

( "You are in pain, golden prince of Mirkwood." )

Legolas looked up sharply and blinked in surprise. The Lady Galadriel stood at the fountain, wearing a flowing robe of white. A golden crown rested on top of her hair.

When had she entered the clearing? Had he been so lost in his thoughts that he had not noticed her arrival?

( "Calm yourself, dear prince, for this is a small matter compared to what lies ahead." )

And what lies ahead, Lady Galadriel? Legolas asked out loud. And what do you know of my pain or its cause?

Galadriel gestured to the basin beside her.

( "My mirror shows me many things yet I need not magic to see that you are burdened with matters of the heart." )

You have already bound yourself to her, have you not, Prince Legolas? asked Galadriel.

Legolas said. I have spoken of my intentions but I have not acted yet in formal ways, no.

The heart does not need such formalities. she said. I see that your soul has already taken refuge in her arms- what need you now for ceremonies or formalities? You have made a choice and you shall stand by it despite the consequences it will bring, will you not?

Legolas felt his breath grow faint and he nodded once. There was something in her eyes that made him think she knew of what had taken place last night.

Aye. I shall. he replied. My future is bound to hers.

As is hers to yours. Galadriel said. But I warn you now, son of Thranduil, beloved of his people, that what you hear today will bring only more pain and sorrow. Not only for your charge but for yourself. You have still time to change your mind, to avert the course on which you now tread, to avoid the future that you have set out for. This is the first of two times that I give you leave to save yourself. You can still change the outcome of this day for yourself. Will you take it, Legolas?

If I turn away now, will she come with me?

No. She has her past to confront no matter where you go, dear Prince.

Then I will stay. Legolas said firmly. Despite the pain that he felt that morning, he would not leave without Karalynn by his side.

"Shall you stand by your choice despite the possibility that she belongs not to you, but to someone else?"

Legolas felt his mind reel but he pulled back his shoulders and held his head high, unflinching.

"Yes."

"Shall you stand by your choice despite the possibility that her path leads not with you but towards another life?"

"Yes."

This is your choice and so shall it be. the Lady Galadriel said. She looked as if she had already known what he was going to say and for a brief moment, she closed her eyes as if in deep contemplation.

Pity shone in her eyes when she looked at Legolas again and though it made him uncomfortable to do so, he did not look away from her. Did she think that he would be afraid to move forward with the girl? Into whatever bleak potential came their way? Did the Lady think that she needed to protect him?

Legolas' thoughts faded at the sound of footsteps coming their way. He turned around and saw Nefernil leading Karalynn into the clearing.

Her tear-filled gray eyes met his for only a second before shifting away, in shame. Nefernil bowed to Lady Galadriel before leaving Karalynn at Legolas' side.

He could not ignore the tense way Karalynn held herself, the way her head was lowered down, nor the way she played anxiously with her fingers.

He reached out for her, meaning to tell her that he was not angry with her when he saw the Lady Galadriel shake her head at him.

( "Prince Legolas, I have allowed you here as a witness not as a participant. Though I know you mean only good, to comfort her, I ask you now that you not speak to her nor touch her in anyway. From now until we leave this clearing, stand back and listen and do no more." )

Legolas glared at the Lady, knowing that it was folly to do so but he could not help feeling resentment at her words.

Did he not just say that he would stay with Karalynn- that it was his choice?

But, knowing better than to disobey her words, Legolas lowered his arm and stepped back.

The elf queen's eyes moved from him to Karalynn and lingered on her face. A mix of curious study and sadness touched her porcelain features and the air seemed to hold his breath in anticipation of her words.

I asked you once what your name was, young one. Lady Galadriel said. And you did not know. But perhaps that was because the influence of your servants were still at work. Now that their influence over you is waning, perhaps the bondage that your mind was held in has been loosened."

Karalynn looked up sharply, her face growing bloodless. Legolas longed to reach out to her but forced himself to obey the Lady's words.

"B-bondage?" Karalynn repeated. "I...I don't understand."

"You are afraid, yet you have no need to be." Galadriel said kindly. "I speak of the shadow in your mind. It is what stands between you and all that you were, all that has past. It is a part of yourself that you fear the most, is it not?"

Karalynn glanced at Legolas, clearly frightened now and though it pained him to do so, he merely nodded at her, making his face a hard mask. She was looking to him for safety and comfort and this time, he could not give it to her.

"Yes." Karalynn whispered.

"You push away that which you fear the most, the shadow, the darkness in your mind because you do not understand it." Galadriel said gently. "It is yourself, young one, the shadow is you. It is a single command that you uttered so long ago, sprung from your own lips and your own heart. The shadow is dark because you fear it- not the other way around. Do you understand?"

Karalynn looked at Galadriel and Legolas saw an expression of wariness and hesitation in her features. He felt them himself; confused about this talk of shadows and commands.

"No." Karalynn said. "I don't understand."

The Lady Galadriel's eyes seemed to grow deep and dark, as fathomless and abysmal as the midnight sky.

"I will ask you a question now." she said. "And you must answer me without hesitation. Do not think of the answer, young one. Instead, let the answer come to you without your bidding. Do you understand this?"

"Yes."

"What is your name?"

He saw Karalynn's mouth open and then close, her eyes clouded over with incomprehension.

"Do not think of the answer!" Galadriel commanded. "Answer me now. What is your name?"

"Alicia."

A look of pure fear crossed Karalynn's face and she took a step back, eyes wide with shock. She touched her lips as if unbelieving of the answer she had just given. The Lady Galadriel smiled slightly and walked towards her. Legolas watched them both in consternation.

Alicia?

How could it be? How could that be her name? He knew her as Karalynn- had her mind been so confused during the first few days of their meeting that she had misnamed herself? It was a possibility, of course and yet Legolas could not believe it.

"Yes, young one." Galadriel said, reaching out for Karalynn's face. She touched her cheek gently and with great tenderness. "Alicia- the name given to you by your parents. And yet it was not often that they called you this, was it not? What did you father and mother call you? What is the name that the voices in your mind call out for- who is it that the voices speak to? What is the name that your beloved parents called you?"

Karalynn's voice was small and broken when she answered.

"Alice."