Chapter 10
IT'S SO HARD TO KNOW YOU'LL NEVER BE MINE
"Do you want to stare into my eyes lady Undomiel? Go ahead look into my eyes. Tell me what do you see?"
She couldn't answer, what she saw was too painful and unbearable.
"Answer me! What do you see?"
She let out a soft whimper and began to shake uncontrollably, overwhelmed with fear. He slowly released the grip on her neck and put his hand on the back of her head, bringing her even closer to him. He leaned so his mouth was very close to her ear. She could feel his hot breath burning her ears and neck and a shiver ran along her spine. He got even closer and slowly hissed these words into her ear
"Are you afraid Arwen? You should be, it is a very bad idea too wander alone in this camp. These southern men are dangerous; you don't know what they are capable of; you don't know what they can do to you. They are very hard to control sometimes; it's so very hard to restrain their impulses and dark instincts. You know?"
"Let me go Legolas, you are hurting me"
"Why should I? Things have changed Arwen, you are a long way from Gondor and these are my territories, I rule here. And you know what? I am sick of being ruled by other people wishes and desires. All my life I have been under someone else's wishes. First it was my father, then Elrond, then you, and lately Aragorn. NO MORE! Now MY desires rule my destiny, I am master of my own will."
Arwen began sobbing and shaking more violently. "Legolas…, please"
He suddenly released her and pushed her away from him. He then went back to the fire and began working the axe again.
"Go away Arwen, go back to your king. And stay away from me; I am not your friend anymore."
She couldn't move, she couldn't think; all she could do was stand there and look at him, her heart shattering to pieces.
With hot tears running down her cheeks she finally turned around and began to walk towards the tent, but when she was halfway to it, she stopped. Realization hit her, she wasn't going to give up on him, she wasn't going to let the light on him die. No matter how dangerous it got, she was going to fight for him. After all she got nothing left to loose, for life without him was not life for her.
She turned around again and headed towards him, nothing would stop her now.
When she finally got to the fire, she was shocked to find out what she saw. Legolas was lying on the ground, curled onto his side. In the dim light she could see he was crying, sobbing like a little boy. She wanted to run to his side, to hold him and comfort him; but she couldn't move.
Then he stopped crying and began singing, with a voice so haunting, so sad; but so beautiful.
1 ………………………………………………………..
2 I know your road, every step you will take
Your anguish, your emptiness and the obstacles you'll brake
But you never realize that I like a rock will always be there for you
I know your destiny, everything you won't have
You will die, I will live; yet you won't recognize
And it seems to me as if a burning sky fell upon me
For love, you have given up everything
For love, you tried to stop wind and time
You gave away your feelings and opened up your heart
And all your obsessions became mine
For love, you have spent all you had
My love, from your pride only pain is left
And yet I'll stay here with you until night falls
And then I'll leave with my obsessions
That grow strong and mine inside my soul, empty because of you
And seems to me as if a river flooded my soul
For love you have ran breathless
My love, and I wanted to be your wind
And tell me, oh sweet agony. What have you given me?
Have you ever believed in this obsession?
I tell you now, in this day and this time
It is so hard to know you will never be mine
And it seems to me as if a vast ocean crushed upon me.
……………………………………………………………………….
She slowly walked to his side, he ignored her. She seated beside him and started stroking his still soft hair, he didn't move.
"That song is very beautiful"
"And very sad. You inspired it, it is about you, and about me." His voice was calm and soft.
"I know, I know now. Did you intended me to hear it?"
"Yes"
"I made I promise to myself a long time ago, that no matter what would come, no matter how strong the call from the ocean was, no matter how painful it would be for me, I would stay with you till the end. But lately I forgot about that promise, I broke it. Something has taken over me, and no matter how hard I try, I haven't been able to fight it"
She moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around his body; he laid his back on her lap and leaned his head against her chest. Then, he began crying again; he muffled deep, painful sobs against her chest, and damped her garments with his tears. She softly lifted his face by the chin and her eyes met his. His eyes looked clear now, she could still see pain, but the shadow of hate was gone. She slowly leaned down and planted soft, warm kisses on his eyelids. He lifted a hand and caressed her face; she was so close to him, she was still so beautiful to him and he loved her so much.
Slowly, unconsciously, their lips got closer and closer, sending him over the edge. He then brushed his lips against hers slowly, softly, a wave of sensations taking over his body. To his surprise and amusement she responded, pressing harder against his lips. He opened his mouth and deepened the kiss, tasting her, lingering on this new experience. She was receptive for short moments, but then she pulled back. He tried to hold her, to keep her, but she wouldn't let him.
"Legolas…please, Ara…"
"ARAGORN?"
He quickly stood up and to her dismay, the shadow of hate in his eyes was back, she stood up too and tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't let her.
"Why the hell did you come back? Why do you take pleasure in playing with me?"
"Legolas, I was not playing with you. Please listen…"
"NO! Get away from me. I don't want to see you"
"I just want to help you"
"You can't help me, no one can. Leave me alone!"
She closed the gap between them and stared into his eyes, defying him.
"I know that the friend I once had is still inside of you, and I am not giving up on him, I will bring you back Legolas, somehow I will"
Legolas looked back at her with nothing but hate in his eyes, his teeth greeted from anger.
"Your friend is death Arwen, there is nothing you can do to change that. And you are death to me, I HATE YOU!!"
"I know you don't mean that"
"WHAT DO YOU KNOW? YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME. GET AWAY FROM ME!! If you don't put distance between us right now, I will make you regret the day you were born."
Confused and hurt, she turned around and ran to her tent. Aragorn was still asleep when she got there, so she cried herself to sleep. Never in her life had she been so scared and confused. She couldn't understand what happened.
She had always loved Legolas, but only as her dearest friend. And she thought she was the same for him. Now she wasn't sure of anything.
Did he really love her that way? Was it just another consequence from the shadow on him?
And most important of all, what were all those sensations she felt when he kissed her?
She sighed frustrated and looked at the man sleeping beside her.
"Oh Estel, my Estel."
No. She couldn't love Legolas that way, she loved Aragorn. And yet, she couldn't stop remembering the overwhelming sensations she felt with that one kiss.
………………………………………………….
Oh dear! I have writers rush. Chapters are just spontaneously coming out of me. Now all I need is for you to tell me if I'm doing good, or if is just crap.
I don't know yet were this story is going to, maybe you can give me a few ideas to finish wrapping it up.
Now, I'm not saying that it will be over soon, much more is still to come. And I am definitely going to include a sex scene eventually. I just have to find out the way to make it sound authentic. I don't want to mess up with the characters and the story just to include some sex. I am also going to include a few very dramatic action sequences very soon.
So stay tuned, and remember to motivate the writer. *Hint* (purple button, left hand side of the screen)
Thanks.
Elwe.
IT'S SO HARD TO KNOW YOU'LL NEVER BE MINE
"Do you want to stare into my eyes lady Undomiel? Go ahead look into my eyes. Tell me what do you see?"
She couldn't answer, what she saw was too painful and unbearable.
"Answer me! What do you see?"
She let out a soft whimper and began to shake uncontrollably, overwhelmed with fear. He slowly released the grip on her neck and put his hand on the back of her head, bringing her even closer to him. He leaned so his mouth was very close to her ear. She could feel his hot breath burning her ears and neck and a shiver ran along her spine. He got even closer and slowly hissed these words into her ear
"Are you afraid Arwen? You should be, it is a very bad idea too wander alone in this camp. These southern men are dangerous; you don't know what they are capable of; you don't know what they can do to you. They are very hard to control sometimes; it's so very hard to restrain their impulses and dark instincts. You know?"
"Let me go Legolas, you are hurting me"
"Why should I? Things have changed Arwen, you are a long way from Gondor and these are my territories, I rule here. And you know what? I am sick of being ruled by other people wishes and desires. All my life I have been under someone else's wishes. First it was my father, then Elrond, then you, and lately Aragorn. NO MORE! Now MY desires rule my destiny, I am master of my own will."
Arwen began sobbing and shaking more violently. "Legolas…, please"
He suddenly released her and pushed her away from him. He then went back to the fire and began working the axe again.
"Go away Arwen, go back to your king. And stay away from me; I am not your friend anymore."
She couldn't move, she couldn't think; all she could do was stand there and look at him, her heart shattering to pieces.
With hot tears running down her cheeks she finally turned around and began to walk towards the tent, but when she was halfway to it, she stopped. Realization hit her, she wasn't going to give up on him, she wasn't going to let the light on him die. No matter how dangerous it got, she was going to fight for him. After all she got nothing left to loose, for life without him was not life for her.
She turned around again and headed towards him, nothing would stop her now.
When she finally got to the fire, she was shocked to find out what she saw. Legolas was lying on the ground, curled onto his side. In the dim light she could see he was crying, sobbing like a little boy. She wanted to run to his side, to hold him and comfort him; but she couldn't move.
Then he stopped crying and began singing, with a voice so haunting, so sad; but so beautiful.
1 ………………………………………………………..
2 I know your road, every step you will take
Your anguish, your emptiness and the obstacles you'll brake
But you never realize that I like a rock will always be there for you
I know your destiny, everything you won't have
You will die, I will live; yet you won't recognize
And it seems to me as if a burning sky fell upon me
For love, you have given up everything
For love, you tried to stop wind and time
You gave away your feelings and opened up your heart
And all your obsessions became mine
For love, you have spent all you had
My love, from your pride only pain is left
And yet I'll stay here with you until night falls
And then I'll leave with my obsessions
That grow strong and mine inside my soul, empty because of you
And seems to me as if a river flooded my soul
For love you have ran breathless
My love, and I wanted to be your wind
And tell me, oh sweet agony. What have you given me?
Have you ever believed in this obsession?
I tell you now, in this day and this time
It is so hard to know you will never be mine
And it seems to me as if a vast ocean crushed upon me.
……………………………………………………………………….
She slowly walked to his side, he ignored her. She seated beside him and started stroking his still soft hair, he didn't move.
"That song is very beautiful"
"And very sad. You inspired it, it is about you, and about me." His voice was calm and soft.
"I know, I know now. Did you intended me to hear it?"
"Yes"
"I made I promise to myself a long time ago, that no matter what would come, no matter how strong the call from the ocean was, no matter how painful it would be for me, I would stay with you till the end. But lately I forgot about that promise, I broke it. Something has taken over me, and no matter how hard I try, I haven't been able to fight it"
She moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around his body; he laid his back on her lap and leaned his head against her chest. Then, he began crying again; he muffled deep, painful sobs against her chest, and damped her garments with his tears. She softly lifted his face by the chin and her eyes met his. His eyes looked clear now, she could still see pain, but the shadow of hate was gone. She slowly leaned down and planted soft, warm kisses on his eyelids. He lifted a hand and caressed her face; she was so close to him, she was still so beautiful to him and he loved her so much.
Slowly, unconsciously, their lips got closer and closer, sending him over the edge. He then brushed his lips against hers slowly, softly, a wave of sensations taking over his body. To his surprise and amusement she responded, pressing harder against his lips. He opened his mouth and deepened the kiss, tasting her, lingering on this new experience. She was receptive for short moments, but then she pulled back. He tried to hold her, to keep her, but she wouldn't let him.
"Legolas…please, Ara…"
"ARAGORN?"
He quickly stood up and to her dismay, the shadow of hate in his eyes was back, she stood up too and tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't let her.
"Why the hell did you come back? Why do you take pleasure in playing with me?"
"Legolas, I was not playing with you. Please listen…"
"NO! Get away from me. I don't want to see you"
"I just want to help you"
"You can't help me, no one can. Leave me alone!"
She closed the gap between them and stared into his eyes, defying him.
"I know that the friend I once had is still inside of you, and I am not giving up on him, I will bring you back Legolas, somehow I will"
Legolas looked back at her with nothing but hate in his eyes, his teeth greeted from anger.
"Your friend is death Arwen, there is nothing you can do to change that. And you are death to me, I HATE YOU!!"
"I know you don't mean that"
"WHAT DO YOU KNOW? YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ME. GET AWAY FROM ME!! If you don't put distance between us right now, I will make you regret the day you were born."
Confused and hurt, she turned around and ran to her tent. Aragorn was still asleep when she got there, so she cried herself to sleep. Never in her life had she been so scared and confused. She couldn't understand what happened.
She had always loved Legolas, but only as her dearest friend. And she thought she was the same for him. Now she wasn't sure of anything.
Did he really love her that way? Was it just another consequence from the shadow on him?
And most important of all, what were all those sensations she felt when he kissed her?
She sighed frustrated and looked at the man sleeping beside her.
"Oh Estel, my Estel."
No. She couldn't love Legolas that way, she loved Aragorn. And yet, she couldn't stop remembering the overwhelming sensations she felt with that one kiss.
………………………………………………….
Oh dear! I have writers rush. Chapters are just spontaneously coming out of me. Now all I need is for you to tell me if I'm doing good, or if is just crap.
I don't know yet were this story is going to, maybe you can give me a few ideas to finish wrapping it up.
Now, I'm not saying that it will be over soon, much more is still to come. And I am definitely going to include a sex scene eventually. I just have to find out the way to make it sound authentic. I don't want to mess up with the characters and the story just to include some sex. I am also going to include a few very dramatic action sequences very soon.
So stay tuned, and remember to motivate the writer. *Hint* (purple button, left hand side of the screen)
Thanks.
Elwe.