"So, she files the paperwork tomorrow and it'll be official." Buffy's knees
were tucked up under her chin as she hugged her legs to her torso. He was
the one being conservative this evening, in his fuzzy bathrobe, while she
was still naked from their lovemaking. Rupert Giles mind wandered as Buffy
continued talking about the day's events. The soft light of the bedside
lamp made her glow. He could hardly believe that she was here.
Buffy's arrival at his apartment that evening wasn't so much a surprise as much as a matter of timing. They had both silently asked themselves questions: When would she be able to get out of the house? Would she really go see him? Would she be able to go on patrol alone? Would Dawn let Buffy leave? Would she want to?
In the end, she had managed to get away on the excuse of needing some alone time to walk around and go patrolling; Anya and Xander had agreed to watch Dawn. She didn't really need to be sneaky. A visit to Giles' apartment was not out of the ordinary, but because the reason was bizarre and secret, he might as well have been Spike.
For Giles, the knock on his door was all the permission he had needed to pick up where they had left off. He opened the door, looked into her eyes and knew what she wanted from him. Giles wordlessly invited her in and closed the door, sweeping her into his arms in almost the same motion. He couldn't find her kiss fast enough. So much unspoken passion spilling out from them, it took an hour to find the bed, murmured names and affections IloveyouBuffylovemeGilesBuffyIloveyouGilesIloveyouloveme drowning out the call of responsibility and duty, destroying all of their senses, leaving them in a space filled with nothing but the other. This was possession. This was ecstasy.
This was very unusual, thought Giles. He had been under the influence of many natural and unnatural, illicit and ill-advised things during the sexual encounters of his youth, and nothing compared to the feeling of making love to Buffy.
As he walked around the bedroom, Buffy told him about the meeting with the lawyer, and as he wondered if it was always like that for her, he must have wondered aloud because Buffy had stopped talking and was looking at him.
"Is what always like what? Lawyer's offices always full of wood?" Buffy looked at him expectantly and pulled the bed sheet over herself as she rose from his bed and moved toward his chest of drawers. She picked up his glasses and began studying them, turning them over, testing the springs, not looking at him.
"No, is, um… this is much more difficult than I anticipated…"
"What, Giles?" Buffy looked a little frightened and suddenly very vulnerable wrapped in his bed sheet. "Are you telling me that I shouldn't be here? Giles, I don't want to go home and I've got no place else to go."
Rupert Giles walked over to her and leaned on his chest of drawers for support. He had said something wrong. He had scared her. "No, Buffy, I just wanted to ask you something."
"So ask me." She looked up at him, unemotional and full of resolve. Rupert Giles felt horrible, he tried to rationalize that she wasn't really so young and that he wasn't really so old, and if he could have sex with her that he should be able to talk about it, but none of that seemed to matter when he looked at her. He couldn't help but be flustered.
"Um, is it always like that for you?" The look on Buffy's face told him nothing; she was still trying to leap from bad news to sex. She handed Giles his glasses, and he absent-mindedly began cleaning them with the edge of his bathrobe. He was just going to spit it out.
"When you have s-s-s-ex, is it always that intense?" He was suddenly caught by the idea that maybe that wasn't intense to her, that he had been a victim of wishful thinking and now she had no idea what he was talking about. "Forget that I even asked, Buffy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you and it's none of my…"
"No. It's not that intense... ever. I mean, it wasn't last night, I mean, it was intense, but not…" She was blushing; it was becoming clear that Buffy was going to have to reveal her sexual past. Angel had been her first, and while it had felt amazing, Riley, and even Parker, had surpassed Angel as lovers. But she hadn't needed to acknowledge it before, Riley had needed constant reassuring, but that was more about his ego than about how satisfying their relationship in bed was. "No, not like just now. I've never felt that way while I made love before."
Rupert Giles smiled shyly at his lover and touched her cheek. "Buffy, I've never felt anything like that either. We could speculate why, what with the whole Watcher/Slayer aspect of this, it probably is something metaphysical, but I'd rather not. I'd rather have it just be about us."
"Me too, Giles, at least, now, for a while… What time is it?"
"It's about nine o'clock… do you have to go?" He had hoped, foolishly he knew, that she would stay the night. He wanted to feel her wake in his arms again, but knew it would be a long time before that could happen. He pulled her closer to him.
"No, I just shouldn't stay out too long. Anya and Xander are watching Dawn and I'm only supposed to be patrolling" She smiled, "but maybe, that's something we could both do?"
"Why go out, when we can stay in," He leaned for ward and kissed her, pulling the sheet away as he coaxed her back onto the bed.
Xander and Anya were sitting in the dining room together reading, when a quiet knock at the kitchen door made them both turn their heads.
Anya turned to Xander and smiled, "Do you think it's the delivery man with more flowers?"
Xander put down his copy of Avengers #57, and turned toward the kitchen door, "Doesn't he usually come to the front door?"
"Maybe he got lost and now the flowers, possibly roses, are wilting…" Anya nodded her head, her hair bouncing in anticipation.
"Or, it's a certain peroxide friendly blood sucker come to take advantage…" Xander felt himself getting angry; he almost crushed his near mint Silver Age comic.
"But Willow and Tara did the uninvitation spell…" Xander quickly cut off Anya's protest.
"Which is why he's knocking, he needs an invitation, which if he thinks he can get one from me, he's sorely mistaken."
They heard the kitchen door creaking open behind them, and a small scuffle.
"HEY! Since when am I not invited?"
Anya gave her boyfriend a look that was both surprised and curious, "Xander, that doesn't sound like Spike."
Xander turned around and seeing who was standing at the door, smiled at his girlfriend, "Your keen power of observation comes in handy once again, my sweet."
"Hello, are you going to invite me in?" The fellow at the door was beginning to get agitated.
Anya shrunk slightly at the hostility, "We don't know if he's evil, he could be evil, you told me he did that sometimes…" Xander nodded pointedly at that observation.
"Yeah, you could be evil and coming here to relish in our grief!"
"Xander, I am not evil, it's me, Angel! Where's Buffy? She'll let me in."
"Buffy's not here, she's out on patrol. You'll have to go find her if you want in."
"I came in through the graveyards. Buffy isn't out on patrol anywhere, I assumed she'd be here."
Xander looked a little miffed, and felt a little worried, "You must not have looked hard enough, because she's out on patrol."
"The testosterone levels here are very exciting. Don't stop."
"Anya, not now, I'm trying to get this turkey to leave."
"I know what to do!" Anya got up out of her chair and closed the back door, "And I'll lock it to guard against further interruptions."
Outside, Angel had to resign himself to either waiting there for Buffy to get home, or to wandering around Sunnydale. He took off in the direction of the graveyards again, hoping he had just missed her his first time through.
It was almost midnight when Buffy finally left Giles' apartment. She decided to cut through the graveyards on her way home, slay some vamps if there were any out and about, and get some well-deserved sleep. Or was it well deserved? The last few days had been surreal. There had been so much pain and grief. And love. She had turned to Giles for strength, for hope. He had offered much more, and she had accepted. To feel anything other than this sadness that weighed her down was welcome, but when she looked at Dawn it almost crushed the air out of her.
Earlier, she woke from dreams gasping for air. Reaching for someone that wasn't there, whispering "Mommy…" into her pillow and Giles had been there to hold her, to make her feel safe for a moment. She hadn't expected to desire him, to crave his touch the way she did. But when they were wrapped together she could forget everything she wanted and be satisfied with what she had.
And then Dawn would look at her, and Buffy would feel empty and scared again.
"Buffy?" The unexpected sound of her name made Buffy jump into a fighting stance.
"Ah! Jeeze!" She had been so lost in thought she hadn't heard or seen Angel walking toward her… "Angel?"
Buffy's arrival at his apartment that evening wasn't so much a surprise as much as a matter of timing. They had both silently asked themselves questions: When would she be able to get out of the house? Would she really go see him? Would she be able to go on patrol alone? Would Dawn let Buffy leave? Would she want to?
In the end, she had managed to get away on the excuse of needing some alone time to walk around and go patrolling; Anya and Xander had agreed to watch Dawn. She didn't really need to be sneaky. A visit to Giles' apartment was not out of the ordinary, but because the reason was bizarre and secret, he might as well have been Spike.
For Giles, the knock on his door was all the permission he had needed to pick up where they had left off. He opened the door, looked into her eyes and knew what she wanted from him. Giles wordlessly invited her in and closed the door, sweeping her into his arms in almost the same motion. He couldn't find her kiss fast enough. So much unspoken passion spilling out from them, it took an hour to find the bed, murmured names and affections IloveyouBuffylovemeGilesBuffyIloveyouGilesIloveyouloveme drowning out the call of responsibility and duty, destroying all of their senses, leaving them in a space filled with nothing but the other. This was possession. This was ecstasy.
This was very unusual, thought Giles. He had been under the influence of many natural and unnatural, illicit and ill-advised things during the sexual encounters of his youth, and nothing compared to the feeling of making love to Buffy.
As he walked around the bedroom, Buffy told him about the meeting with the lawyer, and as he wondered if it was always like that for her, he must have wondered aloud because Buffy had stopped talking and was looking at him.
"Is what always like what? Lawyer's offices always full of wood?" Buffy looked at him expectantly and pulled the bed sheet over herself as she rose from his bed and moved toward his chest of drawers. She picked up his glasses and began studying them, turning them over, testing the springs, not looking at him.
"No, is, um… this is much more difficult than I anticipated…"
"What, Giles?" Buffy looked a little frightened and suddenly very vulnerable wrapped in his bed sheet. "Are you telling me that I shouldn't be here? Giles, I don't want to go home and I've got no place else to go."
Rupert Giles walked over to her and leaned on his chest of drawers for support. He had said something wrong. He had scared her. "No, Buffy, I just wanted to ask you something."
"So ask me." She looked up at him, unemotional and full of resolve. Rupert Giles felt horrible, he tried to rationalize that she wasn't really so young and that he wasn't really so old, and if he could have sex with her that he should be able to talk about it, but none of that seemed to matter when he looked at her. He couldn't help but be flustered.
"Um, is it always like that for you?" The look on Buffy's face told him nothing; she was still trying to leap from bad news to sex. She handed Giles his glasses, and he absent-mindedly began cleaning them with the edge of his bathrobe. He was just going to spit it out.
"When you have s-s-s-ex, is it always that intense?" He was suddenly caught by the idea that maybe that wasn't intense to her, that he had been a victim of wishful thinking and now she had no idea what he was talking about. "Forget that I even asked, Buffy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you and it's none of my…"
"No. It's not that intense... ever. I mean, it wasn't last night, I mean, it was intense, but not…" She was blushing; it was becoming clear that Buffy was going to have to reveal her sexual past. Angel had been her first, and while it had felt amazing, Riley, and even Parker, had surpassed Angel as lovers. But she hadn't needed to acknowledge it before, Riley had needed constant reassuring, but that was more about his ego than about how satisfying their relationship in bed was. "No, not like just now. I've never felt that way while I made love before."
Rupert Giles smiled shyly at his lover and touched her cheek. "Buffy, I've never felt anything like that either. We could speculate why, what with the whole Watcher/Slayer aspect of this, it probably is something metaphysical, but I'd rather not. I'd rather have it just be about us."
"Me too, Giles, at least, now, for a while… What time is it?"
"It's about nine o'clock… do you have to go?" He had hoped, foolishly he knew, that she would stay the night. He wanted to feel her wake in his arms again, but knew it would be a long time before that could happen. He pulled her closer to him.
"No, I just shouldn't stay out too long. Anya and Xander are watching Dawn and I'm only supposed to be patrolling" She smiled, "but maybe, that's something we could both do?"
"Why go out, when we can stay in," He leaned for ward and kissed her, pulling the sheet away as he coaxed her back onto the bed.
Xander and Anya were sitting in the dining room together reading, when a quiet knock at the kitchen door made them both turn their heads.
Anya turned to Xander and smiled, "Do you think it's the delivery man with more flowers?"
Xander put down his copy of Avengers #57, and turned toward the kitchen door, "Doesn't he usually come to the front door?"
"Maybe he got lost and now the flowers, possibly roses, are wilting…" Anya nodded her head, her hair bouncing in anticipation.
"Or, it's a certain peroxide friendly blood sucker come to take advantage…" Xander felt himself getting angry; he almost crushed his near mint Silver Age comic.
"But Willow and Tara did the uninvitation spell…" Xander quickly cut off Anya's protest.
"Which is why he's knocking, he needs an invitation, which if he thinks he can get one from me, he's sorely mistaken."
They heard the kitchen door creaking open behind them, and a small scuffle.
"HEY! Since when am I not invited?"
Anya gave her boyfriend a look that was both surprised and curious, "Xander, that doesn't sound like Spike."
Xander turned around and seeing who was standing at the door, smiled at his girlfriend, "Your keen power of observation comes in handy once again, my sweet."
"Hello, are you going to invite me in?" The fellow at the door was beginning to get agitated.
Anya shrunk slightly at the hostility, "We don't know if he's evil, he could be evil, you told me he did that sometimes…" Xander nodded pointedly at that observation.
"Yeah, you could be evil and coming here to relish in our grief!"
"Xander, I am not evil, it's me, Angel! Where's Buffy? She'll let me in."
"Buffy's not here, she's out on patrol. You'll have to go find her if you want in."
"I came in through the graveyards. Buffy isn't out on patrol anywhere, I assumed she'd be here."
Xander looked a little miffed, and felt a little worried, "You must not have looked hard enough, because she's out on patrol."
"The testosterone levels here are very exciting. Don't stop."
"Anya, not now, I'm trying to get this turkey to leave."
"I know what to do!" Anya got up out of her chair and closed the back door, "And I'll lock it to guard against further interruptions."
Outside, Angel had to resign himself to either waiting there for Buffy to get home, or to wandering around Sunnydale. He took off in the direction of the graveyards again, hoping he had just missed her his first time through.
It was almost midnight when Buffy finally left Giles' apartment. She decided to cut through the graveyards on her way home, slay some vamps if there were any out and about, and get some well-deserved sleep. Or was it well deserved? The last few days had been surreal. There had been so much pain and grief. And love. She had turned to Giles for strength, for hope. He had offered much more, and she had accepted. To feel anything other than this sadness that weighed her down was welcome, but when she looked at Dawn it almost crushed the air out of her.
Earlier, she woke from dreams gasping for air. Reaching for someone that wasn't there, whispering "Mommy…" into her pillow and Giles had been there to hold her, to make her feel safe for a moment. She hadn't expected to desire him, to crave his touch the way she did. But when they were wrapped together she could forget everything she wanted and be satisfied with what she had.
And then Dawn would look at her, and Buffy would feel empty and scared again.
"Buffy?" The unexpected sound of her name made Buffy jump into a fighting stance.
"Ah! Jeeze!" She had been so lost in thought she hadn't heard or seen Angel walking toward her… "Angel?"