The 99th Platoon – WWW's Dream: Uniting the Tediz

(A/N Is it really necessary to write something here? Maybe it's one of those weird humba-jumba superstitions. Maybe it's just me. I dunno. Anyway, lets get on with the story. Now that I'm looking at it…I think it's going to take more than the first's 14 chapters. By the way, chapter title has nothing to do with the Arnie Swatz film of the same name. So don't sue my ass. Also upon calculation I've only got 21 pages of GameFAQS text to re-write as a book. That's a good thing peeps. Aaaaaanyway.)

Chapter 11: True Lies

As Oreos chortled at the Deja-Pyst run in Sarge noticed a small patrol of Tediz taking away three bounded figures.
"Oreos! Who's tha-"

*Trrrrrr-ATATATATATATAT*

The turret on top of the newly arrived tank fired a stream of bullets, effectively shredding tree bark, rocks and sand bags.
"Uh oh..." sighed Oreos.
"What?" asked Sarge.
"Our cover was just mowed down."
"Not good eh?"
"Nope."
"Run?"
"Yep"

*Trrrrr-*

The hideout the two squirrels had been sheltering in was no more. They might as well have been running through the Little House on the Prairie set. The Tediz behind the turret placed his sight ahead of the two running squirrels, so that the bullets would hit where they would be.

*TATATATATATATATA*

"Stop moving!" warned Sarge as he grabbed Oreos roughly by his collar. Bullets nipped the air millimetres in front of the sweating Squirrel.
"Okay Oreos, I go this-a way you go that-a way."
"Okay…"

*Trrrrrrr-*

The two squirrels dashed in opposite directions as a stream of fire passed between them.

The Tediz manning the tank flipped the switch from "Big Bang Bang" to "Squigee Guided"

As Sarge limped along he heard a noise behind him…
*beep*
*beep*
*beep*
*BEEP*

As Oreos ran panting hard a sound buzzed near him...
*beep*
*beep*
*beep*
*BEEP*

He looked behind him and his eyes grew wide.
"Sarge!!! FUR GUIDED!!!" he screamed.
"Make for the trench!!!" was the reply.

The two fur guided missiles followed the two squirrels. They ran to the best of their ability with the homing missile gaining behind them. Gaining...gaining...gaining...
"Leap into my arms!" ordered Sarge.
"Wha-?"
"Just do it!"

*YYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!*

They leapt into each other and fell in the trench as the two fur guided missiles collided over their heads, showering them with flame and debris. They quickly pulled away from each other.
"Tell anybody about that and I swear I'll kill you," threaten Sarge.
"The feeling's mutual..."

As Sarge lifted his head over the trench he saw a Tediz with a green band wrapped around its arm leading a band of Tediz to the house the rest had retreated to. He shrugged and slunk back into the mud.
"WWW wears a green arm band right?"
"Uh...yeah," Oreos replied distracted.
Pause.
"OH SHIT!!!"

*sh-CLICK sh-CLICK sh-CLICK*

Oreos was looking straight into the barrel of a 9mm pistol.
"Paws up, you squirrel scum," barked the Tediz C.O. in his own language. Sarge and Oreos took the hint.
A Tediz knocked Oreos unconscious. Sarge looked at the C.O.
"What are you gonna do to us?" asked Sarge as he was bound in cuffs.
"Don't worry, we'll keep you two love birds in the same cell."
"Wha--Oh no! We were just catching each other! We're not--" The Tediz knocked Sarge out.
"These squirrels get weirder every time."

-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
Sarge and Oreos woke up. Around them hung drab, lightless grey. The grey of a prison cell.
"Ah...my head..."
"You guys alright?" asked Mon.
"MON! Glad to see you're still alive. Where is this? Is it the main base, or just storage for prisoners? Hey where's Ricy and RedStorm?"
"I'm guessing this is the main base. Ricy and Red were taken somewhere else.... I dunno where..."
"Shit...Execution...?" whispered Oreos.
"We can only hope not," said Sarge. Mon pointed through the bars.
"Some Tediz keep reporting to that guard over there. They keep talking in Tediz language, so I can't tell what's going on...Sounds like something big..."
"Triple W could translate it for us..." mumbled Oreos. As if on cue WWW walked in through the door. The guard on patrol snapped a quick salute.

"Well what do we have here? 3 pathetic squirrels sittin' in a cell...." he pointed a stitched paw at the guard. "You! Out now!" The guard obeyed.
"WWW! What in the blue moon are you doing?"
"He's not WWW anymore," hissed a robotic voice. Suddenly WWW let forth speech in his real voice.
"I'm nobody's bitch, now you're mine!"
"Get us out!" pleaded Mon. The robotic swirl returned.
"You squirrels still don't get it...You wanna know?"
"What are you talking about?" questioned Sarge. WWW snarled evilly.

"WWW is still one of us. We've merely been using him to get information out of the "99th buffoons". Well actually, the only reason we planted a chip inside his head is because this Tediz was a little soft for us when he was created. Rather than executing him, we thought of a way to make him useful. Not only is he a true Tediz now, we now also know all about you, and the next mission you plan on going. But you're not going to live even to get to our international bases."


"Then it was all a hoax? There was never a triple W, just a rotten Tediz?" moaned a defeated Oreos.


"There was a WWW, but we'd occasionally take control of him. Such as earlier, you thought it was a sniper who shot you in the back?"
 WWW grinned as he saw realisation dawn on Oreos' face.
"It was triple W?"
"In a sense...but with our mind, and his paws. You want to talk to him again? Here you go..."

"GUYS! I'm sorry...I never knew...I didn't want to, but I can't control it. These bastards can control my every movement. Listen, to destroy this base, you have to go to the main power room and…"

"Ah, ah, ah.... too much information there. Anyways, WWW got us the location of your base, and our troops should be rounding up the rest of your buffoons right about now...Game over Rico. You lose."


*At the 99th stand-down*
"How's Chael coming along?" asked Flatfeet. He parted a torn curtain and looked out across the island. They managed to get every one to this stand-down point. Save for the other five captured. Deja looked at Chael's wound. She sighed. This had to be the worst mission ever.
"He's resting now. I don't know if he'll be all right...I'm worried about Sarge."
"If I know Sarge, and I do, he's probably decking some Tediz right about now," said Snickers as he placed a comforting hand on Deja's shoulder.
"Thanks Snickers."
*BAM*


The door was kicked over, as Tediz poured into the room.
"What the? Where'd they come from?" stuttered a surprised Flatfeet.
"Get your paws where I can see 'em!" barked the Tediz Sergeant.
"What the hell is this?!" yelled Pyst in protest lifting his arms skywards. A Tediz grabbed Deja's arms and forced her against a wall. "Hey punk, leave her alone!"
"Thanks for the chivalry..." began Deja. She lifted her leg right up to the Tediz chin with a mean scissor kick. The Tediz fell to the ground – its neck broken.
"But no thanks"

All hell broke loose.
FlatFeet and Snickers fought off Tediz from Chael, stealing guns and using them on the original carriers. Deja round-housed the next Tediz, nabbing the fallen bayonet and shooting the next one in the chest. Pyst huddled in the corner.
"You ok Pyst?" asked Deja, ending the life of yet another lifeless machine.
"Yeah, watch out!!!!"

*WHAM*

Deja groin punched a Tediz sneaking up behind her.
"Thanks."

"We gotta get outta here!" warned Flatfeet, "I'll carry Chael! Deja! Make an exit!"

Deja turned to face the back wall. She armed her grenade launcher. Pyst looked on…and time slowed…slowed…he swore he could hear hearts beating in their chests. He saw as if in slow motion a Tediz general whip out a pistol behind Deja, and aim.

"NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! DEEEEJJJJAAAAAA!!!!!" Pyst started getting up and running towards Deja.

*BANG*

Pyst tripped on a loose floorboard and bowled right into Deja. The bullet slammed into the wall. Everything returned to normal speed as Deja went crashing through the rotted wood.
"Oww.... thanks Pyst...." she uttered seconds before everything went black. The Tediz had overpowered them. A Tediz pistol-whipped Pyst. He saw the others being given the same treatment. Then his vision went blurry.
"You're welcome..."

*THUMP*