A/N: This is a revised version of this chapter! Is it better now??
"Go to your cupboard and stay there until I say you can come out!" shouted Vernon Dursley. These were the last words Harry heard as he stepped into his cupboard under the stairs. As soon as he got both feet mostly inside, he heard the door close and lock behind him.
Harry laid down on his narrow bed with a sigh. He was sure his Uncle wouldn't be letting him out any time soon. As he prepared for a long night of boredom, he idly wondered why his uncle even bothered telling him he couldn't come out when he obviously couldn't get out if he tried. Harry rolled over trying to find a comfortable position on his lumpy mattress. He winced as he felt a spring jab one of his newest bruises. Shifting again and sighing in relief as no more springs poked him, he thought back to the many days spent with the Dursleys and this cupboard.
It had always been like this, he mused. If Harry dared to ask a question, he got a cuff and was told not to ask questions. When he did things like turn his teacher's wig blue or somehow end up on the roof of his school, he got beatings and locked in his cupboard for a few days, like he was now. Sometimes if what he had done wasn't too horrendous they would shove some food in once a day. Harry was used to it by now. That was the way it was, it always had been.
He thought forward from then to the summer when he was to be eleven. As weird as it was to be able to talk to snakes in the wizarding world, the Dursley's thought it was ten times stranger. Definitely not anything to be tolerated by someone in their care. And especially not by that 'boy'. Nobody was hurt at all, but he paid for it later.
Then when the truth about all of those strange occurrences came out, it all changed, at least for a while. His uncle didn't do anything to him for the rest of the summer. Harry figured that the Dursleys thought he would turn them all into slugs or worse. Harry shrugged. It was nice while it lasted. Then they had to go and learn about that stupid decree for underage wizards.
All the same, it was still convenient for him at the time. After all, it would have been exceedingly awkward having to explain how it all happened. The bruises could have been from a fight with his cousin, but it would be more difficult to explain the scratches and cuts from the rings his uncle sometimes wore. There hadn't ever been anyone else to question them before, and they never really showed much, but roommates were another story. So it all worked for Harry in the end.
When Harry had learned that Hogwarts was a boarding school and no one there knew the Dursleys, he made a promise to himself. He vowed that they would never find out what his home life was like. Of course, they probably wouldn't have anyways. Over the years, it had become an ingrained habit to lie about stuff like that. Sometimes he didn't even realize he was doing it. He would open his mouth to say something and a lie would just come out. He supposed it was because his uncle always told him he'd never live to regret it if he told anyone. When you're only five and someone like Harry's uncle says that to you, what are you going to do?
Still it was only to be expected. Wasn't this how it had always been? Why was it so unusual that he should get the occasional cuff or be grounded or sent to his room or sent to bed without supper? All children were punished by their guardians when they were bad or if they didn't do what they were told. He wasn't any different from them. He had to learn right and wrong just like them. Only he just didn't seem to be able to get it right.
Of course, /now/ Harry knew that what Uncle Vernon did was wrong, but he hadn't known it then. It was only after a few years at Hogwarts, and after staying at the Weasley's house for part of the summer after his first year that Harry realized it wasn't normal. But by then Harry hadn't told anyone in the wizarding world about it, and he had known them for two years. Harry just couldn't bring himself to tell anyone after so long of lying about it to everyone, but especially to the very people it would be easiest to tell. Harry just didn't go around telling people, even his closest friends, about his secrets unless he had no choice and he knew he had one about this. No one needed to know, and it wasn't any of their bloody business and that's just how it is.
The summers weren't so bad really. Whenever things got to be too much, he'd just think of his friends and what they'd do when they got back to Hogwarts. Home. And it never really is so long to wait. It just seems that way. What are a few months out of the year that aren't so great when weighed against everything in the wizarding world?
Sure, after his second year he was put back in his old cupboard, but it was an old, familiar place. Comforting, really. Even when Uncle Vernon got mad and wouldn't let him out, there was a certain sense of normalness. At least as much as /anything/ was normal for Harry Potter.
When Harry went back to the Dursley's, he once more had a card to play against his aunt and uncle. Sirius' picture had been put on the muggle news to warn them, and hopefully to help track him as well. Now Harry had the happy job of informing his family that the mass murderer on television was his godfather. Also, that his godfather was very concerned with Harry's well being. Of course, Harry conveniently forgot to mention that Sirius was really innocent. The rest of the summer went by unusually uneventfully. Harry wasn't punished or locked up, but he was still half starved. Fortunately for Uncle Vernon, Harry always looked just plain old skinny or scrawny. He was so short that he just seemed the sort to be skinny.
Then, for the last part of the summer, Harry went to Ron's house again. His dad had managed to get tickets for the Quidditch World Cup from work. The cup was both spectacular and foreboding. The match was great, and very exciting, but afterwards Death Eaters showed up for some muggle torture. The cup turned out to be a glimpse of how horrible the year would be for Harry.
That school year was enough to make him almost look forward to going back to the Dursleys' for a while. After the last task and being let out of the hospital wing, the last bit of the year went by quickly with Harry being even more withdrawn than he usually was towards the end of the school year. Then it was time to pack and leave for the summer holidays.
Back at the Dursley's, Harry found it just as bad as always. As soon as he was in the car, he was told that they weren't having any of those ruddy owls in the house this year. So the first thing Harry did was to send Hedwig to Ron with a note that the Dursley's were still upset about the ten tongue toffee fiasco and that Hedwig had better stay with Ron this summer.
That done, Harry was made to carry his trunk up to the attic and where it was carefully locked in. Then he was made to go downstairs where he got a good berating by Uncle Vernon. Turns out he still was annoyed about the ten tongue toffee fiasco.
And so Harry found himself not an hour into summer holidays and locked in a cupboard. Harry sighed and shifted again, this time with more caution to the springs. Not wanting to think of these things any more, he drifted off to sleep.
A few hours later, saw Harry tossing and turning in his sleep. Not too long after midnight Harry awoke with a start, and sighed in relief as he recognized his surroundings. Harry slowly lay back down and tried not to think about what he had just seen. Even as he tried to ignore them, the images kept playing themselves over and over in his mind. After that he couldn't bring himself to go back to sleep. So he just stayed awake seeing the same awful images over and over and over...
"Go to your cupboard and stay there until I say you can come out!" shouted Vernon Dursley. These were the last words Harry heard as he stepped into his cupboard under the stairs. As soon as he got both feet mostly inside, he heard the door close and lock behind him.
Harry laid down on his narrow bed with a sigh. He was sure his Uncle wouldn't be letting him out any time soon. As he prepared for a long night of boredom, he idly wondered why his uncle even bothered telling him he couldn't come out when he obviously couldn't get out if he tried. Harry rolled over trying to find a comfortable position on his lumpy mattress. He winced as he felt a spring jab one of his newest bruises. Shifting again and sighing in relief as no more springs poked him, he thought back to the many days spent with the Dursleys and this cupboard.
It had always been like this, he mused. If Harry dared to ask a question, he got a cuff and was told not to ask questions. When he did things like turn his teacher's wig blue or somehow end up on the roof of his school, he got beatings and locked in his cupboard for a few days, like he was now. Sometimes if what he had done wasn't too horrendous they would shove some food in once a day. Harry was used to it by now. That was the way it was, it always had been.
He thought forward from then to the summer when he was to be eleven. As weird as it was to be able to talk to snakes in the wizarding world, the Dursley's thought it was ten times stranger. Definitely not anything to be tolerated by someone in their care. And especially not by that 'boy'. Nobody was hurt at all, but he paid for it later.
Then when the truth about all of those strange occurrences came out, it all changed, at least for a while. His uncle didn't do anything to him for the rest of the summer. Harry figured that the Dursleys thought he would turn them all into slugs or worse. Harry shrugged. It was nice while it lasted. Then they had to go and learn about that stupid decree for underage wizards.
All the same, it was still convenient for him at the time. After all, it would have been exceedingly awkward having to explain how it all happened. The bruises could have been from a fight with his cousin, but it would be more difficult to explain the scratches and cuts from the rings his uncle sometimes wore. There hadn't ever been anyone else to question them before, and they never really showed much, but roommates were another story. So it all worked for Harry in the end.
When Harry had learned that Hogwarts was a boarding school and no one there knew the Dursleys, he made a promise to himself. He vowed that they would never find out what his home life was like. Of course, they probably wouldn't have anyways. Over the years, it had become an ingrained habit to lie about stuff like that. Sometimes he didn't even realize he was doing it. He would open his mouth to say something and a lie would just come out. He supposed it was because his uncle always told him he'd never live to regret it if he told anyone. When you're only five and someone like Harry's uncle says that to you, what are you going to do?
Still it was only to be expected. Wasn't this how it had always been? Why was it so unusual that he should get the occasional cuff or be grounded or sent to his room or sent to bed without supper? All children were punished by their guardians when they were bad or if they didn't do what they were told. He wasn't any different from them. He had to learn right and wrong just like them. Only he just didn't seem to be able to get it right.
Of course, /now/ Harry knew that what Uncle Vernon did was wrong, but he hadn't known it then. It was only after a few years at Hogwarts, and after staying at the Weasley's house for part of the summer after his first year that Harry realized it wasn't normal. But by then Harry hadn't told anyone in the wizarding world about it, and he had known them for two years. Harry just couldn't bring himself to tell anyone after so long of lying about it to everyone, but especially to the very people it would be easiest to tell. Harry just didn't go around telling people, even his closest friends, about his secrets unless he had no choice and he knew he had one about this. No one needed to know, and it wasn't any of their bloody business and that's just how it is.
The summers weren't so bad really. Whenever things got to be too much, he'd just think of his friends and what they'd do when they got back to Hogwarts. Home. And it never really is so long to wait. It just seems that way. What are a few months out of the year that aren't so great when weighed against everything in the wizarding world?
Sure, after his second year he was put back in his old cupboard, but it was an old, familiar place. Comforting, really. Even when Uncle Vernon got mad and wouldn't let him out, there was a certain sense of normalness. At least as much as /anything/ was normal for Harry Potter.
When Harry went back to the Dursley's, he once more had a card to play against his aunt and uncle. Sirius' picture had been put on the muggle news to warn them, and hopefully to help track him as well. Now Harry had the happy job of informing his family that the mass murderer on television was his godfather. Also, that his godfather was very concerned with Harry's well being. Of course, Harry conveniently forgot to mention that Sirius was really innocent. The rest of the summer went by unusually uneventfully. Harry wasn't punished or locked up, but he was still half starved. Fortunately for Uncle Vernon, Harry always looked just plain old skinny or scrawny. He was so short that he just seemed the sort to be skinny.
Then, for the last part of the summer, Harry went to Ron's house again. His dad had managed to get tickets for the Quidditch World Cup from work. The cup was both spectacular and foreboding. The match was great, and very exciting, but afterwards Death Eaters showed up for some muggle torture. The cup turned out to be a glimpse of how horrible the year would be for Harry.
That school year was enough to make him almost look forward to going back to the Dursleys' for a while. After the last task and being let out of the hospital wing, the last bit of the year went by quickly with Harry being even more withdrawn than he usually was towards the end of the school year. Then it was time to pack and leave for the summer holidays.
Back at the Dursley's, Harry found it just as bad as always. As soon as he was in the car, he was told that they weren't having any of those ruddy owls in the house this year. So the first thing Harry did was to send Hedwig to Ron with a note that the Dursley's were still upset about the ten tongue toffee fiasco and that Hedwig had better stay with Ron this summer.
That done, Harry was made to carry his trunk up to the attic and where it was carefully locked in. Then he was made to go downstairs where he got a good berating by Uncle Vernon. Turns out he still was annoyed about the ten tongue toffee fiasco.
And so Harry found himself not an hour into summer holidays and locked in a cupboard. Harry sighed and shifted again, this time with more caution to the springs. Not wanting to think of these things any more, he drifted off to sleep.
A few hours later, saw Harry tossing and turning in his sleep. Not too long after midnight Harry awoke with a start, and sighed in relief as he recognized his surroundings. Harry slowly lay back down and tried not to think about what he had just seen. Even as he tried to ignore them, the images kept playing themselves over and over in his mind. After that he couldn't bring himself to go back to sleep. So he just stayed awake seeing the same awful images over and over and over...