Author note: I promise you'll like it.
Warning: adult themed situations will happen in this chapter, so beware. (Who am I kidding? This is an R-rated fic, you all have been expecting this forever)
CHAPTER 45
THIS IS NO DREAM
Legolas looked at the stairs that led to his chambers, but he passed them and continued striding towards the gardens. He could not rest; much less sleep, and therefore he sought the company of the trees that night.
He arrived the gardens and at once felt welcomed by the muted whispers of his loyal forest friends, the trees. Walking among them he felt relieved of his many burdens, and he felt thankful for he could, after all, survive the night and wait for dawn.
He went deep into the garden, while humming an elvish song to the moss, grass and leaves around him; until he found Arwen's favorite bench, illuminated by the moonlight that filtered through the treetops. He watched the old wooden bench, paralyzed and quiet, as if mesmerized by an unspoken enchantment, until a chilly breeze brushed his face and awoke him from his trance. Something was very singular about that bench that night, and he was drawn to go near.
A faded scent reached his nostrils as he sat on the bench, a scent both familiar and foreign. A long time had passed since he had last sensed it; and after little ponder, he realized it was hard to recognize it because he had lost all hopes to ever sense it again. It was Arwen's scent, and his first reaction was to escape it, but then he thought it was just an illusion created by his weary mind, and he decided to bask in it for as long as it lasted.
His piercing eyes noticed a tiny leaf rested beside him on the bench, and he thought it looked misplaced, not naturally rested as a leaf that falls from above, but as if someone had deliberately placed it there. - "I'm going insane" - he said to himself - "Who would come here and notice such a diminutive leaf?"
He picked the leaf between his thumb and index, mentally mocking himself for all his musing about such a small thing; he looked at it for mere seconds and suddenly a strong emotion invaded him. He instinctively brought it to his lips, and at once gasped in sheer astonishment. There, deeply infused in the little leaf he felt her quintessence, loud and strong revealing her unmistakable presence. He sensed the luring scent of her breath fresh in the silken surface of the leaf, and knew at once that she had been there that night, maybe only minutes before, seated in the same bench, holding the same leaf to her lips.
He nearly jumped off the bench, overwhelmed by the mere thought of being where she just was. He stood frozen, his eyes fixed upon the bench, his heart racing madly inside his chest, a myriad of thoughts and questions overcrowding in his mind. - "What was she doing there? Where had she gone to? How close was she?"
In the brink of panic, a distinctive sound reached him; first the sound of silence, for the trees had stopped whispering. He held his breath and listened to the quiet night. Then, a steady tone was revealed. He closed his eyes and listened closely, to what turned up to be a soft breathing, right behind him; a nameless sensation went down his slightly curved spine as he realized it was not any soft breathing, it was HER soft breathing, as Arwen Evenstar was right behind him.
His eyes opened and he imagined her standing there, he pictured her face in his mind. How to feel? Surprised, angered, hopeful, hurt, afraid, blissful, elated? He could not pick one. What to do? Run away, stay there, take her in his arms, ignore her? They all seemed right and yet wrong.
He placed a hand over his chest, just above his heart as a blinding ache assaulted him. He felt frail and overpowered by a face he could only see in his mind, and the very power of her presence, so near, so painfully near. Knowing it was a final surrender to his own doom, he started to turn around slowly, very slowly. But all his heart and mind were submissive to resignation, and he expected her to run away, to hide, to be gone by the time he could face her....
Not this time.
His eyes found her standing only a few footsteps away from him, and all of his breath caught in his throat in a single gasp. She was there, truly there, standing right before his very eyes. It was not a vision, not an illusion; to his eyes she seemed more real than anything else he had ever seen, and everything around him became surreal compared to the certainty of her existence. His eyes could not truly capture the splendor of the black and silver gown she was wearing; he could not really see how her hair seemed to glimmer under the moonlight; he could not truly perceive the opalescence of her skin highlighted by the silvery shadows of the trees above. No, his eyes instantly locked with hers in a blinkless gaze. A million thoughts could have been shared between them in that single gaze; but the feelings were so strong that no thought could reach the other.
His eyes were diverted from the enthrallment with her pupils, as he noted how her lips parted. She wetted them with her tongue, leaving them glistening with a crimson tone resembling a bright ruby, as she was about to speak.
"Hello" - Arwen said, simply and without hesitation.
She saw as the hand he had rested over his chest moved to his head, and how he held his forehead and bent his upper body forward, as if in great pain. - "Are you well?" - she asked softly, concerned by the great aching surfacing in his face, partially covered by his hand.
"No, I am not well. Now I will never be" - he answered hoarsely. His voice faded to a honeyed whisper - "Isn't it strange, that in my loneliness I always know what to say, and yet standing face to face, my words just blow away? Why are you here?" - he asked, conveying all of his doubts and questions in a single one.
"I couldn't sleep" - she answered, - "as I haven't been able to sleep at all in many nights" - she paused and regarded him; he was listening to her with the whole force of his soul, as if his very existence depended on her words.
"And why is that?" - he asked, gathering some composure
"Because I think about you every night." - she said, closely watching his reaction to her words. His breathing stopped, she could tell, and his gaze wandered, straying from her face to the trees above.
"And what has changed?" - he asked after little vacillation - "Why did you decide to talk to me until now?"
She took a step forward, getting even closer to him - "I'm not going to lie to you" - she said - "I came to meet you because Eldarion told me of your parting."
"Only because of that" - he said in a tone shaded with bitterness - "Just to say goodbye"
"No" - she breathed out - "There are many things I need to tell you."
"You pick the worst of moments" - he said, in an outburst of courage - "Dawn will come soon, and I must prepare my journey."
Arwen clenched her jaw, frustrated by his faked remoteness - "You will hear me now" - she almost commanded - "For I picked the exact moment to clear your mind, right after you went into my late husband's grave to speak many false words."
Legolas' face paled impossibly under the moonlight, and his knees weakened under his weight. No word or sound came from him, and he lowered his gaze to the ground.
"I feel compelled to correct you, and to bring truth to your soul, for it has deceived you" - she added. Then, she breathed in deeply, and took another step forward. - "Look at me, Legolas"
He lowered his hand from his forehead, but his hawk-like stare came to bury at her feet, as he did not dare to face her. She took two more steps, until she was within arm-reach from him; she sought for his eyes, but he refused to look up, as his hand came to rest uneasily over his chest again.
She lifted her delicate hand, and placed two fingers under his chin to raise his face. She felt him shiver with the light touch of her cold fingers, and for her astonishment, she noticed how she shivered too, feeling the pleasant contact with the warmth of his unbearably smooth skin.
She applied slight pressure to his chin, forcing him to look up to her, and he complied like an obedient lamb that humbly follows whoever is about to put a blade to its gullet. Their eyes met yet again, and Arwen felt lost in the chameleonic shades of his color changing eyes, that seemed to transmute by the second, overlaying tones of blue, green and gray. Many moons had passed since she had last seen those eyes so closely.
Not knowing precisely how or why, her fingers started brushing his chin, unleashing deep and intense feelings in both of them. Legolas slowly lowered his lids, as if they had suddenly become awfully heavy, and he closed his eyes, while his mind tried desperately to understand how could such a pleasant feeling be at the same time the cruelest of tortures.
"Look at me" - she commanded again, and his eyes opened at once, as he struggled to maintain his doomed composure.
"I do not blame you for Aragorn's parting" - Arwen said, while the tips of her fingers grew bolder, and started covering more of his skin - "I've never blamed you"
An immense burden was lifted from Legolas shoulders - "It is good to know...." - he managed to respond - "....Thank you for telling me this; you bring peace..."
"I am not finished yet" - she interrupted - "there is much more I must say"
Legolas nodded slightly, letting her know that he wouldn't interrupt again. Arwen continued.
"You are much more than a mere illusion that lasts for a night and dies with the morning sun" - she said, piercing him with her eyes, and quoting the same words he had used in Aragorn's grave - "During the greatest part of my life you've meant so much more than that to me, so much more" - she said, while her hand moved from lightly stroking his chin to cup his cheek tenderly - "You have always been a dear and loyal friend; always striving for my happiness, for my well-being, for my future... and all for what? Just for the mere crumbs of my affection"
A tear escaped her eyes, and fell down her apprehensive face. Legolas felt his entrails shrinking at the sight of her affliction, and had to recur to all of his self-control to restrain himself from gathering her in his arms to whisper sweet nothings that could soothe her. But he had to let her talk, he held back not to interrupt her, and remained silent, listening to her, and watching her without a blink.
"I ask for your forgiveness" - she said with a shattered voice - "For if it was a cruel destiny that drifted us apart, I have been even more unkind to you; and after I caused you such great pain, the only thing you have done is loving me, day after day."
Arwen's left hand came to join the right one, and she held him from both his cheeks, while tears ran freely down her face - "Through every dreadful thing that has come, every terrible thing I've brought upon you, you have remained loyal and devoted, loving me just the same. And what have I done? Hurt you, that's all I've done!"
Legolas started moving his head from side to side, his eyes wide with horror; he opened his mouth to speak - "No.." - But she placed a finger over his lips, silencing him.
"Now I see clearly that all I've given you is misery" - she nearly cried out, her eyes reddened and swollen by her flowing tears.
Legolas continued moving his head from side to side, feeling as if his entire body was about to burst. He could not bear to see her suffer.
"Forgive me Legolas, I never meant to hurt you, but I have failed you, it was I who failed every promise made"
Legolas started shaking - "Arwen, stop.."
"I only brought desolation to your heart. Legolas, your love for me destroyed you!!"
"NO!" - he finally shouted, covering her trembling hands with the warmth his own, and holding them tight against his chest - "Please, stop saying nonsense and lies!"
Arwen tried to pull away, startled by his sudden reaction; but he held her hands tightly, and wouldn't let her go - "Now you are going to listen to me" - he said - "For your soul has also deceived you."
Arwen stopped pulling away and calmed down, showing herself willing to listen to him.
"I do love you" - he began - "Every day more than the previous, up until this very moment, for I love you more than ever before."
Arwen lowered her eyes, overwhelmed by his boldness to confess his feelings. If she could only be as brave as him. His hand under her chin interrupted her thoughts, and the same intense shiver upon feeling his warmth against her pale skin. - "Look at me" - he said, demanding the same attention he had given her.
"I love you" - he said again, gazing intensely into her eyes as if to further declare his feelings - "and even if destiny or any other event has twisted our paths, and drifted our worlds apart, it has been good to love you like I do; it is good to need you so. Through all the dreadful things that happened in my lifespan, it was my love for you that kept me alive, that gave me hope to go on."
"It cannot be" - Arwen said - "You would have been better if we had never met, you wouldn't have suffered....."
"Perhaps I wouldn't had suffered" - he said, stopping her - "but I swear to you that if I had the chance to live my life again, from the very beginning, I would do the same things, I would seek you in the same way; for my life without you wouldn't be life. I would love you, all over again, and would go through everything all over again. I do not regret a thing Arwen, not a single thing."
Arwen looked at him with wide eyes, astonished by such a declaration, Legolas smiled warmly at her - "I don't hold you responsible for any of the misfortunes of our lives, for you have suffered them as much as I have. And you should not carry the weight of such fault, for as I cannot be blamed for loving you, since I cannot help it, I cannot blame you for not loving me back, for you cannot help it."
Silence....
Words becoming reality...
Truth demanding to be uncovered...
"But I do love you" - the words could not stay inside her chest for a another second, and as she finally proclaimed her love to him, she felt released from a burden she had carried for too long a time.
Legolas dropped his arms to the sides of his body, breaking all physical contact between them; his breathing got trapped in his throat, the world around him became completely silent and still, and he stared at her with an indecipherable expression in his face. Surprise, disbelief. all but joy for he could not believe his ears.
He took a step backwards, and she immediately took a step forward, unwilling to let him get away. He questioned her with his eyes; she answered his unspoken query swiftly.
"I love you" - the words flowed effortlessly from her mouth, as if it was a phrase she had said to him every day of a long life together.
His pupils narrowed, as if trying to find a trick in a suspicious situation; it was then that the asphyxiating pressure in his chest reminded him of his need to breathe again. He inhaled with a loud gasp, and his eyes strayed to the garden around them. He looked at the trees, the grass, the stars above, the moon traveling swiftly down to the west. He examined every detail meticulously, trying to find the mark of an elven dream.
"This is no dream" - he finally whispered, more as an affirmation than a question - "it cannot be a dream"
"It is not" - Arwen said, almost unable to believe such truth herself. She quickly grabbed his hand, and drew it to her face, so he could touch her; while she caressed his cheek with her other hand, trying to find a connection to reality - "Behold, it is real, it is happening"
"I can tell it is not a dream" - he said, while a new smile appeared in his features, a smile unknown to her and the whole world - "I know for I had lost all hope to hear those words from you, even in my most precious dreams such thing was impossible."
Slowly, doubtfully, like a newborn deer that gives its first weak and hesitant steps, Legolas surrounded her with his arms, almost clumsily; and drew her closer to him. She complied and even aided him, pushing her frail and soft form against his solid chest, and wrapping her slender arms around his neck; it was her who fulfilled the embrace.
He looked at her timidly, as if afraid of letting show the extent of his happiness.
"What?... What is it?" - she asked playfully, seeing his peculiar behavior.
"I implore you... say it again!" - he stammered, giving away his immense joy. Then, he tightened his embrace around her waist and lifted her high above him, twirling her effortlessly in the air, his arms never letting go of her.
She let out a small cry of amusement and glee, leaning her hands upon his shoulders, and feeling renewed by his impulsive demonstration. She felt young, vital and in absolute bliss, basking in the security of his strong arms that held her both high and carefully, as if she was the most precious of jewels.
There was no hesitation - "I love you!" - she nearly shouted, with a feeling only compared with vast satisfaction, and her joyous laughter filled the once saddened and tense air of the night, even as tears flowed down her face, tears of joy and relief.
It was for both, an instant of incomparable happiness; bliss they had not experienced in a very long time. Sweet memories came to their minds, times they had shared in the past; moments of reunions, after long absences. Now the joy had multiplied, tenfold.
The twirling stopped.
They looked into each other's eyes for seconds that seemed endless, doing nothing else, just letting it show, just letting the ultimate truth they had both learned and shared settle down in their hearts and minds. She noted how his eyes seemed different than ever before, and she felt a shiver running down her spine, feeling and seeing the intensity that exuded from him. Never before in her life had she experienced the force of such gaze. His eyes were clear, pure and good as before; but she could tell that unlike any other time he had looked upon her, his eyes now were fearless, shameless, doubtless... regretless.
Slowly, ever so leisurely, she felt her body descending from her high position, as Legolas began lowering her, his eyes locked with hers. Her body slipped down little by little between his arms; their faces came closer, and closer to each other's. An emotion only comparable with euphoria engulfed her as she saw him lift his face and close his eyes to meet her, his features more striking and powerful under the shadows of the setting moon than she'd ever remembered.
They felt the warmth of their breathings coming to meet one another's lips; Arwen's eyes closed as she descended the final inches that separated them from the long awaited kiss. And then.... Their lips touched.
He finished lowering her, until her feet were planted on the grassy ground again, their lips never parting. The kiss was slow, soft, kind and tender, barely tasting each other, barely touching, lightly; but with a devotion and adoration from one to the other that cannot be put to words.
He cautiously tightened the embrace, relishing in the long forbidden pleasure that was feeling her luscious, silken lips upon him; he barely moved, fearing that the minutest of stirs could make her fade away into thin air.
But she felt his dithering, and she decided to need more. Following the pure instincts and desires of her heart, she grabbed him by his garments, and pulled him almost harshly towards her, unleashing all of her chained passion that crushed like an infuriated tide upon his lips.
He did not hold back, not this time; he responded with the full force of his own ardor that seemed to rise from the depths of bounded feelings, long ago buried, but never forgotten. As her longing collided against him, he felt as if touching the very boundaries of desperation.
The silent trees witnessed their hushed moans as the kiss deepened and grew in intensity, need, and desire.
Suddenly, Arwen felt a though surface against her back, and realized she was leaning against a tree trunk, Legolas' warm body occupying all of her horizon, as he was all over her. How she got there, she didn't know, and didn't really care; he was all that mattered.
She felt like loosing herself, as his presence filled all of her senses; the sweet but fiery taste of his lips; his luring scent, both fresh and intense, invading her nostrils; the warmth of his body pressing against hers. The burden of her garments suddenly became unbearable to her, as so little portions of her skin were in contact with his, and she wished to feel his warmth over the full extend of her bare skin.
Feelings and needs she thought to no longer posses started to overpower her. Her hands seemed to have a mind of their own as they started roaming over his chest, shoulders and back yearningly, almost frantically.
A low and husky moan escaped her as he broke the kiss, their rushed and thick breathings entwined as their mouths were mere inches apart and they tried to remember that they needed air to survive and not just the other's breath. Legolas tilted his head hastily, and his hot, hungry lips came to meet the downy skin of her neck, while Arwen's nails dug into his shoulders, and her soft, but anxious whimpers filled the air all around them, further increasing the intense fire inside of him.
His hands became restless; leaving their confinement to her waist, they started traveling up her slender arms, to her gloriously soft hair where one stayed, entangled in her ebony locks that were free of restraints, rested over her shoulders. The other hand came down from her hair slowly, leaving a warm trail over her neck, her shoulder.... before boldly settling over a heaving breast.
Her body arched almost fiercely to meet his dauntless touch, increasing the friction between their bodies. Letting out an abandoned sigh, he started caressing her breast in a slow, light and circular motion with his palm, immediately feeling the response of her aroused flesh, pushing against his hand through the soft fabric of her gown, while Arwen's entire body was invaded by warm shivers.
After he kissed and nibbled on every inch of her neck, Legolas' mouth came to wander over the small area of her shoulders that her gown left exposed, and the top of her cleavage, until he found the hem of her dress, which forced him to stop, much to the dismay of a very eager Arwen.
Legolas straightened his head to look at her, while his hand disentangled from her hair and came to rest over her other lonesome breast. Her eyes closed in pure bliss. He found himself enthralled watching her half opened mouth, her eyes tightly shut, facing the dark sky above; she was truly a vision when in ecstasy.
He continued caressing her, now with both hands; while taking endless pleasure in seeing the brazen satisfaction showing in her flushed face. Arwen's eyes opened and locked with his; her pupils were dilated and darkened, her breathing rushed. She lifted her hands from his solid back, and pulled him from the back of his neck to a fiery kiss, her teeth scraping his lower lip.
Legolas pressed harder, trapping her body against the old tree. He pushed one leg between hers, increasing the contact between them, and Arwen welcomed the small change of position, slightly spreading her thighs to aid his daring advance.
In the brink of loosing all control and thought, she noticed how this new position allowed her to feel his firm male-hood pushing steadily against her lower womb. It was too much to bear, and she was finally sent over the edge; she started to pull his tunic, trying frenetically to get rid of it. Seeing her anxiousness, Legolas complied her wordless petition, and pulling the garment over his head; he tossed it unceremoniously to the ground, breaking the kiss only because it was indispensable, and quickly rejoining his mouth with hers.
Arwen's hands found his light shirt, and though it was far more pleasant to touch than the thick tunic, she quickly branded it as useless, and a nuisance. Her fingers started undoing the shirt, and once again, Legolas finished the job she couldn't complete, and yanked the shirt of his body, revealing his bare chest as an offering to her.
She broke the kiss, and putting her hands over his chest, she pushed back to admire him. He reluctantly allowed her to loosen the contact between their bodies, but her burning gaze set upon him with mad desire proved to be quite satisfactory, even for him. Her small, smooth hands traveled over the chiseled muscles of his chest and abdomen, the intensity of her touch forcing him to shut his eyes as her fingers dauntlessly came to explore underneath the rim of his trousers, taunting him.
Legolas leaned a hand on the tree-trunk behind her, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. Then, as her fingers continued going in and out of the fabric rim, deeper inside each time, he found the tease unbearable, and his strong, large hand caught hers in an iron grip, stopping her little game. She stiffened at the sudden reaction, but then she found his eyes blazing with need looking straight at her, being her the object of the full extend of his desire, and she relaxed.
"I am sorry" - she said softly, realizing what she had been doing.
"Don't be" - he answered hoarsely, while his hand guided hers to go lower and lower, prompting her to touch him.
Not much insistence was required for her to comply; Legolas released her hand, demonstrating that in no way was he forcing her to do anything, but her hand did not pull away. Arwen lowered her hand slowly, brushing her fingers over him lightly, drawing throaty moans from him with her timid touch. Then, she grasped him fully; finally feeling with her small hand his magnitude and firmness. She clutched and fingered, discerning every detail of him under the rough fabric.
The intensity of his arousal greatly increased her own desire, and once again she pulled him into a heated kiss, letting show just how much she was enjoying the delightful moment. Legolas's skilled fingers started undoing the clasps on her back that held her dress to her body, leisurely, sensually; uncovering the velvetiness of her back, and brushing his fingers over the shivering skin. He slid the dress forward, fully revealing her shoulders, always caressing every inch of skin that became available.
He carefully pulled down the sleeves, always bit by bit, much to the exasperation of the lady in his arms.
"I won't brake" - "she said parting from his lips, and with a voice tormented by desire- "Go ahead"
He pulled down one last time, and then his palms opened, dropping the garments that glided down her sinuous body and fell to he ground. Only a light, diminutive silken white cloth now covered her body. Tiny straps hanging from her shoulders held the semi-transparent material that covered from her chest to her upper thighs.
Legolas tilted his head back a little to admire her in awe; she was perfect, in every possible way. The curves of her body insinuated more than notably through the shimmering fabric, filling his eyes with beauty beyond description.
"Beautiful" - he whispered softly, finding himself short of words.
The tips of his fingers came to rest over the straps on her shoulders, and started pulling softly to the sides and over her shoulders. His mouth bestowed butterfly kisses over the trail that his uncovering fingers left. Then, his hands traveled to her breasts, uncovering the precious gifts that awaited him under the soft silk. He held his breath, looking at her, full and proud, now bare for him to enjoy.
The tiny cloth would have fallen to the ground completely if it wasn't because Legolas' hands caught it at her waist, impeding it to further descent. Not yet, not yet.
His head bent down tortuously slow, so much that Arwen placed a hand behind his neck to pull down, anticipation taking the best of her. A smile appeared on his features feeling her hurry, and he complied; descending over her flesh in a fast, single movement. Arwen's back arched impossibly at the sudden contact of the sensitiveness of her breasts with his mouth which was hot, soft.....and moist.
A stifled hiss escaped her - "Ah...yes!"
He kissed with adoration and devotion for mere seconds, then his head straightened back up. - "I must ask" - he said in a shushed whisper - "Do you really want this?"
Arwen's answer came swiftly - "I want to feel all your passion upon me"
"What you've seen so far of my passion is just a drop of water in an endless sea" - he warned.
"I want it all; I want you" - her voice faded as she searched for his mouth again.
Legolas pulled back - "Wait!" - he said, drawing a disappointment sigh from her - "First I need to know. Do you want me forever? Or is it just for tonight?"
Arwen's eyes widened, and then she lowered her gaze; not knowing exactly what to say, she never expected that question from him.
"Arwen?" - he asked, searching his eyes for an answer.
She looked back at him and he could read her eyes as open books - "You don't know" - he whispered, pulling himself away from her. He turned around, looking at the gray color of the sky above; dawn was very near.
Arwen felt as if an entire winter of ice had fallen upon her, right after she almost reached the warmth of the sun; she pulled the white garment up, covering her nakedness, and a tear ran down her face as she hugged herself.
"You don't intend to sail to Valinor with me" - his words came out of him leaving a scorch of pain deep in his heart - "Not even now..."
"I am sorry" - her voice was as shattered as before.
He turned to face her again, and she flinched upon seeing the immense sadness and pain in his eyes.
"But.... you love me" - he half said, half asked; his eyes piercing her.
"Yes"
"Then?"
She sobbed - "I pledged my immortality Legolas, and I don't know if I can leave my promise behind. I cannot just forget about the decision I took so long ago, it was supposed to be one way......or the other.
His head dropped, and she thought she saw him shrink down, as if a great weight had just fallen upon him - "Then you really just came to say goodbye?"
"I needed to tell you that I love you. I couldn't let you part thinking anything different than that."
"Just to let me go afterwards?" - rage became evident in his voice.
"No!.....I don't know, yet"
His hardened features relaxed and he breathed in deeply; then he surrounded her with his arms - "Oh Arwen" - he said tenderly, while her body shook uncontrollably in his arms - "I would shamelessly beg you to join me to my chambers, so I could give what I have been waiting an eternity to share with you. But I do not dare to give away such a great part of my heart, not while our future together is uncertain; for the risk is too great, and if I'm forced to loose you again, the pain would kill me and my soul, I would be lost to eternal torment"
She clung to him, as if her very life depended on it - "I know" - she said sadly - "I am so sorry"
Legolas kissed her forehead - "And yet you say that you are not sure; that means there is still hope."
"But you are leaving" - she said - "in just hours you'll be gone; and I am so confused!"
He held her face, and forced her to look into his eyes - "You need not to worry about that; take all the time you need to make your decision. I will not go anywhere; I will stay and I will wait patiently, no matter how long it takes."
"Oh Legolas, no! I cannot ask you to stay here; you need to go to Valinor, your strength will fail and you'll fall ill if you stay in these lands much longer, please don't suffer further, not for me."
He smiled - "It matters not! The full force of the Valar would not tear me away from you, not now. I will stay, no matter what may come over me. I care not about the undying lands, you are all I need."
"And what if I decide to stay? What if I decide to die here? You cannot follow me to mortal death; none knows what's beyond! What will you do then?" - her voice was shattered but resolute, she didn't want him to suffer for her, not anymore.
His smile did not fade - "Then I will stay by your side until the end, and hold your hand through your passing; even if it breaks my heart beyond mending. Understand Arwen that I have no other choice."
"Yes you do! You can live, you can sail away now and be free of me; that choice is still before you."
"But I don't want it!!!!" - the force of his shout made the very roots of the trees shudder.
Arwen stared at him in disbelief, her eyes wide in shock.
"Look at me Arwen!" - he demanded - "Look straight into my eyes and tell me that you want me to leave; tell me that you truly want to be without me and I'll leave with the sunrise; but you have to say it first!"
She held her gaze to him for endless minutes - "I can't!....I want you to stay with me!"
"Then, so be it" - he said, pulling her head to rest over his shoulder - "Whatever your decision turn out to be, I'll stay by your side."
"I love you, so much" -Arwen said between sobs muffled in his warm shoulder, and finding nothing else she could say to him.
"And your love shall keep me alive and faithful till the end" - he finished.
Then, Legolas looked up to the sky - "Little more than an hour before down" - he said - "Go to your chambers and rest for what's left of dark time; it has been a very eventful and intense night for us both. I shall do the same; and then I must rise to explain Eldarion and Halbarad that I'm not leaving yet."
She nodded, feeling physically and emotionally exhausted, she needed to rest - "Walk me to my room" - she requested.
He kindly helped her to put her dress back on, and taking her hand, he escorted her to the royal chamber. They stopped before the door and he opened the door for her. She looked at him one last time before stepping in, her face grave and thoughtful; the marks of tears were still fresh over her cheeks.
As she was about to close the door, Legolas caught her hand, stilling her - "Please, do not be so troubled" - he pleaded - "the morning always brings something new, whether is joyful or sad; but it will be new nevertheless. As for me, I look to the future with higher hopes than ever before."
He leaned close to her and kissed her one last time, briefly, on the lips - "Do not be troubled, for I find myself in the highest spirits"
"Rest well" - he said, stepping back to allow her to close the door. Her gaze lingered in eyes even as she was shutting the door.
"You too Legolas, you too" - she said, and the heavy door stood between them.
Legolas smiled and started to walk through the corridors slowly, pondering about the events he had just lived; so real and yet so unbelievable. All his live he had hopelessly waited for this moment, and now it had come to be - "Nobody said it was supposed to be easy" - he told himself, while lazily pushing the door to his room.
He found himself standing in front of a mirror, and a soft laughter escaped from him; he had completely forgotten about his tunic and shirt, and left them in the garden. He sat on the edge of his bed and kicked his boots off. Then, sighing contently he leaned back over the soft sheets.
He instantly felt numb, and fell into the strange slumber of the elves. He was truly exhausted, but mostly he yearned for the morning light, so he could see his love again.
......................................
He awoke with the morning light entering through his window. He stretched over the bed, feeling his body strangely tired and weary. His heart felt quenched, his mind worn-out; as if terrible nightmares had haunted him through all his rest, and yet he could not remember any.
Trying not to give much thought to the disconcerting things he was feeling, he stood from the bed, but as he took his first step, an overwhelming sensation almost made him stumble and fall.
He leaned on a nearby wall, trying to discern what was wrong. He realized he felt somewhat....hollow.
Gathering strength, he walked to his cabinet, and retrieved a light shirt to put on; while reflecting on his very words. He felt that morning had indeed brought something new, but something really vast inside of him told him that it wasn't joyful.
The air inside of the room started asphyxiating him; he had to get out, he had to find out what had happened.
As he opened the door, something caught his eyes. He felt his heart being stabbed by the cold blade of recognition as he saw a white envelope neatly placed in front of his door, the royal seal shining bright and red in the middle of it.
His heart started pounding unevenly as he bent to pick it up, and as his shattering fingers broke the royal seal. It was no anticipation, or uncertainty what worried him; it was realization, for he already knew what the letter said, even before his hands unfolded the paper.
.......................................
Hi dear readers.
You must probably hate me for finishing this chapter like this, but what can I say, I'm evil.
But you cannot say that I didn't give you romance this time, cause I did. Did you like it?.... Excuse me?.... .What is that? You wanted more? That wasn't enough?
Well, you are going to have to settle with this, at least for the moment.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little number. I'm sorry if it took me forever to update, but I spent lots of time writing and rewriting this, it was quite exhausting, to tell you the truth. So, just let me know what you think about it, this chapter has much of my heart, and it was darn hard to write.
Thanks for reading my story; I truly appreciate your comments.
Next chapter as soon as I can.
Blessings
Elwe.
Warning: adult themed situations will happen in this chapter, so beware. (Who am I kidding? This is an R-rated fic, you all have been expecting this forever)
CHAPTER 45
THIS IS NO DREAM
Legolas looked at the stairs that led to his chambers, but he passed them and continued striding towards the gardens. He could not rest; much less sleep, and therefore he sought the company of the trees that night.
He arrived the gardens and at once felt welcomed by the muted whispers of his loyal forest friends, the trees. Walking among them he felt relieved of his many burdens, and he felt thankful for he could, after all, survive the night and wait for dawn.
He went deep into the garden, while humming an elvish song to the moss, grass and leaves around him; until he found Arwen's favorite bench, illuminated by the moonlight that filtered through the treetops. He watched the old wooden bench, paralyzed and quiet, as if mesmerized by an unspoken enchantment, until a chilly breeze brushed his face and awoke him from his trance. Something was very singular about that bench that night, and he was drawn to go near.
A faded scent reached his nostrils as he sat on the bench, a scent both familiar and foreign. A long time had passed since he had last sensed it; and after little ponder, he realized it was hard to recognize it because he had lost all hopes to ever sense it again. It was Arwen's scent, and his first reaction was to escape it, but then he thought it was just an illusion created by his weary mind, and he decided to bask in it for as long as it lasted.
His piercing eyes noticed a tiny leaf rested beside him on the bench, and he thought it looked misplaced, not naturally rested as a leaf that falls from above, but as if someone had deliberately placed it there. - "I'm going insane" - he said to himself - "Who would come here and notice such a diminutive leaf?"
He picked the leaf between his thumb and index, mentally mocking himself for all his musing about such a small thing; he looked at it for mere seconds and suddenly a strong emotion invaded him. He instinctively brought it to his lips, and at once gasped in sheer astonishment. There, deeply infused in the little leaf he felt her quintessence, loud and strong revealing her unmistakable presence. He sensed the luring scent of her breath fresh in the silken surface of the leaf, and knew at once that she had been there that night, maybe only minutes before, seated in the same bench, holding the same leaf to her lips.
He nearly jumped off the bench, overwhelmed by the mere thought of being where she just was. He stood frozen, his eyes fixed upon the bench, his heart racing madly inside his chest, a myriad of thoughts and questions overcrowding in his mind. - "What was she doing there? Where had she gone to? How close was she?"
In the brink of panic, a distinctive sound reached him; first the sound of silence, for the trees had stopped whispering. He held his breath and listened to the quiet night. Then, a steady tone was revealed. He closed his eyes and listened closely, to what turned up to be a soft breathing, right behind him; a nameless sensation went down his slightly curved spine as he realized it was not any soft breathing, it was HER soft breathing, as Arwen Evenstar was right behind him.
His eyes opened and he imagined her standing there, he pictured her face in his mind. How to feel? Surprised, angered, hopeful, hurt, afraid, blissful, elated? He could not pick one. What to do? Run away, stay there, take her in his arms, ignore her? They all seemed right and yet wrong.
He placed a hand over his chest, just above his heart as a blinding ache assaulted him. He felt frail and overpowered by a face he could only see in his mind, and the very power of her presence, so near, so painfully near. Knowing it was a final surrender to his own doom, he started to turn around slowly, very slowly. But all his heart and mind were submissive to resignation, and he expected her to run away, to hide, to be gone by the time he could face her....
Not this time.
His eyes found her standing only a few footsteps away from him, and all of his breath caught in his throat in a single gasp. She was there, truly there, standing right before his very eyes. It was not a vision, not an illusion; to his eyes she seemed more real than anything else he had ever seen, and everything around him became surreal compared to the certainty of her existence. His eyes could not truly capture the splendor of the black and silver gown she was wearing; he could not really see how her hair seemed to glimmer under the moonlight; he could not truly perceive the opalescence of her skin highlighted by the silvery shadows of the trees above. No, his eyes instantly locked with hers in a blinkless gaze. A million thoughts could have been shared between them in that single gaze; but the feelings were so strong that no thought could reach the other.
His eyes were diverted from the enthrallment with her pupils, as he noted how her lips parted. She wetted them with her tongue, leaving them glistening with a crimson tone resembling a bright ruby, as she was about to speak.
"Hello" - Arwen said, simply and without hesitation.
She saw as the hand he had rested over his chest moved to his head, and how he held his forehead and bent his upper body forward, as if in great pain. - "Are you well?" - she asked softly, concerned by the great aching surfacing in his face, partially covered by his hand.
"No, I am not well. Now I will never be" - he answered hoarsely. His voice faded to a honeyed whisper - "Isn't it strange, that in my loneliness I always know what to say, and yet standing face to face, my words just blow away? Why are you here?" - he asked, conveying all of his doubts and questions in a single one.
"I couldn't sleep" - she answered, - "as I haven't been able to sleep at all in many nights" - she paused and regarded him; he was listening to her with the whole force of his soul, as if his very existence depended on her words.
"And why is that?" - he asked, gathering some composure
"Because I think about you every night." - she said, closely watching his reaction to her words. His breathing stopped, she could tell, and his gaze wandered, straying from her face to the trees above.
"And what has changed?" - he asked after little vacillation - "Why did you decide to talk to me until now?"
She took a step forward, getting even closer to him - "I'm not going to lie to you" - she said - "I came to meet you because Eldarion told me of your parting."
"Only because of that" - he said in a tone shaded with bitterness - "Just to say goodbye"
"No" - she breathed out - "There are many things I need to tell you."
"You pick the worst of moments" - he said, in an outburst of courage - "Dawn will come soon, and I must prepare my journey."
Arwen clenched her jaw, frustrated by his faked remoteness - "You will hear me now" - she almost commanded - "For I picked the exact moment to clear your mind, right after you went into my late husband's grave to speak many false words."
Legolas' face paled impossibly under the moonlight, and his knees weakened under his weight. No word or sound came from him, and he lowered his gaze to the ground.
"I feel compelled to correct you, and to bring truth to your soul, for it has deceived you" - she added. Then, she breathed in deeply, and took another step forward. - "Look at me, Legolas"
He lowered his hand from his forehead, but his hawk-like stare came to bury at her feet, as he did not dare to face her. She took two more steps, until she was within arm-reach from him; she sought for his eyes, but he refused to look up, as his hand came to rest uneasily over his chest again.
She lifted her delicate hand, and placed two fingers under his chin to raise his face. She felt him shiver with the light touch of her cold fingers, and for her astonishment, she noticed how she shivered too, feeling the pleasant contact with the warmth of his unbearably smooth skin.
She applied slight pressure to his chin, forcing him to look up to her, and he complied like an obedient lamb that humbly follows whoever is about to put a blade to its gullet. Their eyes met yet again, and Arwen felt lost in the chameleonic shades of his color changing eyes, that seemed to transmute by the second, overlaying tones of blue, green and gray. Many moons had passed since she had last seen those eyes so closely.
Not knowing precisely how or why, her fingers started brushing his chin, unleashing deep and intense feelings in both of them. Legolas slowly lowered his lids, as if they had suddenly become awfully heavy, and he closed his eyes, while his mind tried desperately to understand how could such a pleasant feeling be at the same time the cruelest of tortures.
"Look at me" - she commanded again, and his eyes opened at once, as he struggled to maintain his doomed composure.
"I do not blame you for Aragorn's parting" - Arwen said, while the tips of her fingers grew bolder, and started covering more of his skin - "I've never blamed you"
An immense burden was lifted from Legolas shoulders - "It is good to know...." - he managed to respond - "....Thank you for telling me this; you bring peace..."
"I am not finished yet" - she interrupted - "there is much more I must say"
Legolas nodded slightly, letting her know that he wouldn't interrupt again. Arwen continued.
"You are much more than a mere illusion that lasts for a night and dies with the morning sun" - she said, piercing him with her eyes, and quoting the same words he had used in Aragorn's grave - "During the greatest part of my life you've meant so much more than that to me, so much more" - she said, while her hand moved from lightly stroking his chin to cup his cheek tenderly - "You have always been a dear and loyal friend; always striving for my happiness, for my well-being, for my future... and all for what? Just for the mere crumbs of my affection"
A tear escaped her eyes, and fell down her apprehensive face. Legolas felt his entrails shrinking at the sight of her affliction, and had to recur to all of his self-control to restrain himself from gathering her in his arms to whisper sweet nothings that could soothe her. But he had to let her talk, he held back not to interrupt her, and remained silent, listening to her, and watching her without a blink.
"I ask for your forgiveness" - she said with a shattered voice - "For if it was a cruel destiny that drifted us apart, I have been even more unkind to you; and after I caused you such great pain, the only thing you have done is loving me, day after day."
Arwen's left hand came to join the right one, and she held him from both his cheeks, while tears ran freely down her face - "Through every dreadful thing that has come, every terrible thing I've brought upon you, you have remained loyal and devoted, loving me just the same. And what have I done? Hurt you, that's all I've done!"
Legolas started moving his head from side to side, his eyes wide with horror; he opened his mouth to speak - "No.." - But she placed a finger over his lips, silencing him.
"Now I see clearly that all I've given you is misery" - she nearly cried out, her eyes reddened and swollen by her flowing tears.
Legolas continued moving his head from side to side, feeling as if his entire body was about to burst. He could not bear to see her suffer.
"Forgive me Legolas, I never meant to hurt you, but I have failed you, it was I who failed every promise made"
Legolas started shaking - "Arwen, stop.."
"I only brought desolation to your heart. Legolas, your love for me destroyed you!!"
"NO!" - he finally shouted, covering her trembling hands with the warmth his own, and holding them tight against his chest - "Please, stop saying nonsense and lies!"
Arwen tried to pull away, startled by his sudden reaction; but he held her hands tightly, and wouldn't let her go - "Now you are going to listen to me" - he said - "For your soul has also deceived you."
Arwen stopped pulling away and calmed down, showing herself willing to listen to him.
"I do love you" - he began - "Every day more than the previous, up until this very moment, for I love you more than ever before."
Arwen lowered her eyes, overwhelmed by his boldness to confess his feelings. If she could only be as brave as him. His hand under her chin interrupted her thoughts, and the same intense shiver upon feeling his warmth against her pale skin. - "Look at me" - he said, demanding the same attention he had given her.
"I love you" - he said again, gazing intensely into her eyes as if to further declare his feelings - "and even if destiny or any other event has twisted our paths, and drifted our worlds apart, it has been good to love you like I do; it is good to need you so. Through all the dreadful things that happened in my lifespan, it was my love for you that kept me alive, that gave me hope to go on."
"It cannot be" - Arwen said - "You would have been better if we had never met, you wouldn't have suffered....."
"Perhaps I wouldn't had suffered" - he said, stopping her - "but I swear to you that if I had the chance to live my life again, from the very beginning, I would do the same things, I would seek you in the same way; for my life without you wouldn't be life. I would love you, all over again, and would go through everything all over again. I do not regret a thing Arwen, not a single thing."
Arwen looked at him with wide eyes, astonished by such a declaration, Legolas smiled warmly at her - "I don't hold you responsible for any of the misfortunes of our lives, for you have suffered them as much as I have. And you should not carry the weight of such fault, for as I cannot be blamed for loving you, since I cannot help it, I cannot blame you for not loving me back, for you cannot help it."
Silence....
Words becoming reality...
Truth demanding to be uncovered...
"But I do love you" - the words could not stay inside her chest for a another second, and as she finally proclaimed her love to him, she felt released from a burden she had carried for too long a time.
Legolas dropped his arms to the sides of his body, breaking all physical contact between them; his breathing got trapped in his throat, the world around him became completely silent and still, and he stared at her with an indecipherable expression in his face. Surprise, disbelief. all but joy for he could not believe his ears.
He took a step backwards, and she immediately took a step forward, unwilling to let him get away. He questioned her with his eyes; she answered his unspoken query swiftly.
"I love you" - the words flowed effortlessly from her mouth, as if it was a phrase she had said to him every day of a long life together.
His pupils narrowed, as if trying to find a trick in a suspicious situation; it was then that the asphyxiating pressure in his chest reminded him of his need to breathe again. He inhaled with a loud gasp, and his eyes strayed to the garden around them. He looked at the trees, the grass, the stars above, the moon traveling swiftly down to the west. He examined every detail meticulously, trying to find the mark of an elven dream.
"This is no dream" - he finally whispered, more as an affirmation than a question - "it cannot be a dream"
"It is not" - Arwen said, almost unable to believe such truth herself. She quickly grabbed his hand, and drew it to her face, so he could touch her; while she caressed his cheek with her other hand, trying to find a connection to reality - "Behold, it is real, it is happening"
"I can tell it is not a dream" - he said, while a new smile appeared in his features, a smile unknown to her and the whole world - "I know for I had lost all hope to hear those words from you, even in my most precious dreams such thing was impossible."
Slowly, doubtfully, like a newborn deer that gives its first weak and hesitant steps, Legolas surrounded her with his arms, almost clumsily; and drew her closer to him. She complied and even aided him, pushing her frail and soft form against his solid chest, and wrapping her slender arms around his neck; it was her who fulfilled the embrace.
He looked at her timidly, as if afraid of letting show the extent of his happiness.
"What?... What is it?" - she asked playfully, seeing his peculiar behavior.
"I implore you... say it again!" - he stammered, giving away his immense joy. Then, he tightened his embrace around her waist and lifted her high above him, twirling her effortlessly in the air, his arms never letting go of her.
She let out a small cry of amusement and glee, leaning her hands upon his shoulders, and feeling renewed by his impulsive demonstration. She felt young, vital and in absolute bliss, basking in the security of his strong arms that held her both high and carefully, as if she was the most precious of jewels.
There was no hesitation - "I love you!" - she nearly shouted, with a feeling only compared with vast satisfaction, and her joyous laughter filled the once saddened and tense air of the night, even as tears flowed down her face, tears of joy and relief.
It was for both, an instant of incomparable happiness; bliss they had not experienced in a very long time. Sweet memories came to their minds, times they had shared in the past; moments of reunions, after long absences. Now the joy had multiplied, tenfold.
The twirling stopped.
They looked into each other's eyes for seconds that seemed endless, doing nothing else, just letting it show, just letting the ultimate truth they had both learned and shared settle down in their hearts and minds. She noted how his eyes seemed different than ever before, and she felt a shiver running down her spine, feeling and seeing the intensity that exuded from him. Never before in her life had she experienced the force of such gaze. His eyes were clear, pure and good as before; but she could tell that unlike any other time he had looked upon her, his eyes now were fearless, shameless, doubtless... regretless.
Slowly, ever so leisurely, she felt her body descending from her high position, as Legolas began lowering her, his eyes locked with hers. Her body slipped down little by little between his arms; their faces came closer, and closer to each other's. An emotion only comparable with euphoria engulfed her as she saw him lift his face and close his eyes to meet her, his features more striking and powerful under the shadows of the setting moon than she'd ever remembered.
They felt the warmth of their breathings coming to meet one another's lips; Arwen's eyes closed as she descended the final inches that separated them from the long awaited kiss. And then.... Their lips touched.
He finished lowering her, until her feet were planted on the grassy ground again, their lips never parting. The kiss was slow, soft, kind and tender, barely tasting each other, barely touching, lightly; but with a devotion and adoration from one to the other that cannot be put to words.
He cautiously tightened the embrace, relishing in the long forbidden pleasure that was feeling her luscious, silken lips upon him; he barely moved, fearing that the minutest of stirs could make her fade away into thin air.
But she felt his dithering, and she decided to need more. Following the pure instincts and desires of her heart, she grabbed him by his garments, and pulled him almost harshly towards her, unleashing all of her chained passion that crushed like an infuriated tide upon his lips.
He did not hold back, not this time; he responded with the full force of his own ardor that seemed to rise from the depths of bounded feelings, long ago buried, but never forgotten. As her longing collided against him, he felt as if touching the very boundaries of desperation.
The silent trees witnessed their hushed moans as the kiss deepened and grew in intensity, need, and desire.
Suddenly, Arwen felt a though surface against her back, and realized she was leaning against a tree trunk, Legolas' warm body occupying all of her horizon, as he was all over her. How she got there, she didn't know, and didn't really care; he was all that mattered.
She felt like loosing herself, as his presence filled all of her senses; the sweet but fiery taste of his lips; his luring scent, both fresh and intense, invading her nostrils; the warmth of his body pressing against hers. The burden of her garments suddenly became unbearable to her, as so little portions of her skin were in contact with his, and she wished to feel his warmth over the full extend of her bare skin.
Feelings and needs she thought to no longer posses started to overpower her. Her hands seemed to have a mind of their own as they started roaming over his chest, shoulders and back yearningly, almost frantically.
A low and husky moan escaped her as he broke the kiss, their rushed and thick breathings entwined as their mouths were mere inches apart and they tried to remember that they needed air to survive and not just the other's breath. Legolas tilted his head hastily, and his hot, hungry lips came to meet the downy skin of her neck, while Arwen's nails dug into his shoulders, and her soft, but anxious whimpers filled the air all around them, further increasing the intense fire inside of him.
His hands became restless; leaving their confinement to her waist, they started traveling up her slender arms, to her gloriously soft hair where one stayed, entangled in her ebony locks that were free of restraints, rested over her shoulders. The other hand came down from her hair slowly, leaving a warm trail over her neck, her shoulder.... before boldly settling over a heaving breast.
Her body arched almost fiercely to meet his dauntless touch, increasing the friction between their bodies. Letting out an abandoned sigh, he started caressing her breast in a slow, light and circular motion with his palm, immediately feeling the response of her aroused flesh, pushing against his hand through the soft fabric of her gown, while Arwen's entire body was invaded by warm shivers.
After he kissed and nibbled on every inch of her neck, Legolas' mouth came to wander over the small area of her shoulders that her gown left exposed, and the top of her cleavage, until he found the hem of her dress, which forced him to stop, much to the dismay of a very eager Arwen.
Legolas straightened his head to look at her, while his hand disentangled from her hair and came to rest over her other lonesome breast. Her eyes closed in pure bliss. He found himself enthralled watching her half opened mouth, her eyes tightly shut, facing the dark sky above; she was truly a vision when in ecstasy.
He continued caressing her, now with both hands; while taking endless pleasure in seeing the brazen satisfaction showing in her flushed face. Arwen's eyes opened and locked with his; her pupils were dilated and darkened, her breathing rushed. She lifted her hands from his solid back, and pulled him from the back of his neck to a fiery kiss, her teeth scraping his lower lip.
Legolas pressed harder, trapping her body against the old tree. He pushed one leg between hers, increasing the contact between them, and Arwen welcomed the small change of position, slightly spreading her thighs to aid his daring advance.
In the brink of loosing all control and thought, she noticed how this new position allowed her to feel his firm male-hood pushing steadily against her lower womb. It was too much to bear, and she was finally sent over the edge; she started to pull his tunic, trying frenetically to get rid of it. Seeing her anxiousness, Legolas complied her wordless petition, and pulling the garment over his head; he tossed it unceremoniously to the ground, breaking the kiss only because it was indispensable, and quickly rejoining his mouth with hers.
Arwen's hands found his light shirt, and though it was far more pleasant to touch than the thick tunic, she quickly branded it as useless, and a nuisance. Her fingers started undoing the shirt, and once again, Legolas finished the job she couldn't complete, and yanked the shirt of his body, revealing his bare chest as an offering to her.
She broke the kiss, and putting her hands over his chest, she pushed back to admire him. He reluctantly allowed her to loosen the contact between their bodies, but her burning gaze set upon him with mad desire proved to be quite satisfactory, even for him. Her small, smooth hands traveled over the chiseled muscles of his chest and abdomen, the intensity of her touch forcing him to shut his eyes as her fingers dauntlessly came to explore underneath the rim of his trousers, taunting him.
Legolas leaned a hand on the tree-trunk behind her, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. Then, as her fingers continued going in and out of the fabric rim, deeper inside each time, he found the tease unbearable, and his strong, large hand caught hers in an iron grip, stopping her little game. She stiffened at the sudden reaction, but then she found his eyes blazing with need looking straight at her, being her the object of the full extend of his desire, and she relaxed.
"I am sorry" - she said softly, realizing what she had been doing.
"Don't be" - he answered hoarsely, while his hand guided hers to go lower and lower, prompting her to touch him.
Not much insistence was required for her to comply; Legolas released her hand, demonstrating that in no way was he forcing her to do anything, but her hand did not pull away. Arwen lowered her hand slowly, brushing her fingers over him lightly, drawing throaty moans from him with her timid touch. Then, she grasped him fully; finally feeling with her small hand his magnitude and firmness. She clutched and fingered, discerning every detail of him under the rough fabric.
The intensity of his arousal greatly increased her own desire, and once again she pulled him into a heated kiss, letting show just how much she was enjoying the delightful moment. Legolas's skilled fingers started undoing the clasps on her back that held her dress to her body, leisurely, sensually; uncovering the velvetiness of her back, and brushing his fingers over the shivering skin. He slid the dress forward, fully revealing her shoulders, always caressing every inch of skin that became available.
He carefully pulled down the sleeves, always bit by bit, much to the exasperation of the lady in his arms.
"I won't brake" - "she said parting from his lips, and with a voice tormented by desire- "Go ahead"
He pulled down one last time, and then his palms opened, dropping the garments that glided down her sinuous body and fell to he ground. Only a light, diminutive silken white cloth now covered her body. Tiny straps hanging from her shoulders held the semi-transparent material that covered from her chest to her upper thighs.
Legolas tilted his head back a little to admire her in awe; she was perfect, in every possible way. The curves of her body insinuated more than notably through the shimmering fabric, filling his eyes with beauty beyond description.
"Beautiful" - he whispered softly, finding himself short of words.
The tips of his fingers came to rest over the straps on her shoulders, and started pulling softly to the sides and over her shoulders. His mouth bestowed butterfly kisses over the trail that his uncovering fingers left. Then, his hands traveled to her breasts, uncovering the precious gifts that awaited him under the soft silk. He held his breath, looking at her, full and proud, now bare for him to enjoy.
The tiny cloth would have fallen to the ground completely if it wasn't because Legolas' hands caught it at her waist, impeding it to further descent. Not yet, not yet.
His head bent down tortuously slow, so much that Arwen placed a hand behind his neck to pull down, anticipation taking the best of her. A smile appeared on his features feeling her hurry, and he complied; descending over her flesh in a fast, single movement. Arwen's back arched impossibly at the sudden contact of the sensitiveness of her breasts with his mouth which was hot, soft.....and moist.
A stifled hiss escaped her - "Ah...yes!"
He kissed with adoration and devotion for mere seconds, then his head straightened back up. - "I must ask" - he said in a shushed whisper - "Do you really want this?"
Arwen's answer came swiftly - "I want to feel all your passion upon me"
"What you've seen so far of my passion is just a drop of water in an endless sea" - he warned.
"I want it all; I want you" - her voice faded as she searched for his mouth again.
Legolas pulled back - "Wait!" - he said, drawing a disappointment sigh from her - "First I need to know. Do you want me forever? Or is it just for tonight?"
Arwen's eyes widened, and then she lowered her gaze; not knowing exactly what to say, she never expected that question from him.
"Arwen?" - he asked, searching his eyes for an answer.
She looked back at him and he could read her eyes as open books - "You don't know" - he whispered, pulling himself away from her. He turned around, looking at the gray color of the sky above; dawn was very near.
Arwen felt as if an entire winter of ice had fallen upon her, right after she almost reached the warmth of the sun; she pulled the white garment up, covering her nakedness, and a tear ran down her face as she hugged herself.
"You don't intend to sail to Valinor with me" - his words came out of him leaving a scorch of pain deep in his heart - "Not even now..."
"I am sorry" - her voice was as shattered as before.
He turned to face her again, and she flinched upon seeing the immense sadness and pain in his eyes.
"But.... you love me" - he half said, half asked; his eyes piercing her.
"Yes"
"Then?"
She sobbed - "I pledged my immortality Legolas, and I don't know if I can leave my promise behind. I cannot just forget about the decision I took so long ago, it was supposed to be one way......or the other.
His head dropped, and she thought she saw him shrink down, as if a great weight had just fallen upon him - "Then you really just came to say goodbye?"
"I needed to tell you that I love you. I couldn't let you part thinking anything different than that."
"Just to let me go afterwards?" - rage became evident in his voice.
"No!.....I don't know, yet"
His hardened features relaxed and he breathed in deeply; then he surrounded her with his arms - "Oh Arwen" - he said tenderly, while her body shook uncontrollably in his arms - "I would shamelessly beg you to join me to my chambers, so I could give what I have been waiting an eternity to share with you. But I do not dare to give away such a great part of my heart, not while our future together is uncertain; for the risk is too great, and if I'm forced to loose you again, the pain would kill me and my soul, I would be lost to eternal torment"
She clung to him, as if her very life depended on it - "I know" - she said sadly - "I am so sorry"
Legolas kissed her forehead - "And yet you say that you are not sure; that means there is still hope."
"But you are leaving" - she said - "in just hours you'll be gone; and I am so confused!"
He held her face, and forced her to look into his eyes - "You need not to worry about that; take all the time you need to make your decision. I will not go anywhere; I will stay and I will wait patiently, no matter how long it takes."
"Oh Legolas, no! I cannot ask you to stay here; you need to go to Valinor, your strength will fail and you'll fall ill if you stay in these lands much longer, please don't suffer further, not for me."
He smiled - "It matters not! The full force of the Valar would not tear me away from you, not now. I will stay, no matter what may come over me. I care not about the undying lands, you are all I need."
"And what if I decide to stay? What if I decide to die here? You cannot follow me to mortal death; none knows what's beyond! What will you do then?" - her voice was shattered but resolute, she didn't want him to suffer for her, not anymore.
His smile did not fade - "Then I will stay by your side until the end, and hold your hand through your passing; even if it breaks my heart beyond mending. Understand Arwen that I have no other choice."
"Yes you do! You can live, you can sail away now and be free of me; that choice is still before you."
"But I don't want it!!!!" - the force of his shout made the very roots of the trees shudder.
Arwen stared at him in disbelief, her eyes wide in shock.
"Look at me Arwen!" - he demanded - "Look straight into my eyes and tell me that you want me to leave; tell me that you truly want to be without me and I'll leave with the sunrise; but you have to say it first!"
She held her gaze to him for endless minutes - "I can't!....I want you to stay with me!"
"Then, so be it" - he said, pulling her head to rest over his shoulder - "Whatever your decision turn out to be, I'll stay by your side."
"I love you, so much" -Arwen said between sobs muffled in his warm shoulder, and finding nothing else she could say to him.
"And your love shall keep me alive and faithful till the end" - he finished.
Then, Legolas looked up to the sky - "Little more than an hour before down" - he said - "Go to your chambers and rest for what's left of dark time; it has been a very eventful and intense night for us both. I shall do the same; and then I must rise to explain Eldarion and Halbarad that I'm not leaving yet."
She nodded, feeling physically and emotionally exhausted, she needed to rest - "Walk me to my room" - she requested.
He kindly helped her to put her dress back on, and taking her hand, he escorted her to the royal chamber. They stopped before the door and he opened the door for her. She looked at him one last time before stepping in, her face grave and thoughtful; the marks of tears were still fresh over her cheeks.
As she was about to close the door, Legolas caught her hand, stilling her - "Please, do not be so troubled" - he pleaded - "the morning always brings something new, whether is joyful or sad; but it will be new nevertheless. As for me, I look to the future with higher hopes than ever before."
He leaned close to her and kissed her one last time, briefly, on the lips - "Do not be troubled, for I find myself in the highest spirits"
"Rest well" - he said, stepping back to allow her to close the door. Her gaze lingered in eyes even as she was shutting the door.
"You too Legolas, you too" - she said, and the heavy door stood between them.
Legolas smiled and started to walk through the corridors slowly, pondering about the events he had just lived; so real and yet so unbelievable. All his live he had hopelessly waited for this moment, and now it had come to be - "Nobody said it was supposed to be easy" - he told himself, while lazily pushing the door to his room.
He found himself standing in front of a mirror, and a soft laughter escaped from him; he had completely forgotten about his tunic and shirt, and left them in the garden. He sat on the edge of his bed and kicked his boots off. Then, sighing contently he leaned back over the soft sheets.
He instantly felt numb, and fell into the strange slumber of the elves. He was truly exhausted, but mostly he yearned for the morning light, so he could see his love again.
......................................
He awoke with the morning light entering through his window. He stretched over the bed, feeling his body strangely tired and weary. His heart felt quenched, his mind worn-out; as if terrible nightmares had haunted him through all his rest, and yet he could not remember any.
Trying not to give much thought to the disconcerting things he was feeling, he stood from the bed, but as he took his first step, an overwhelming sensation almost made him stumble and fall.
He leaned on a nearby wall, trying to discern what was wrong. He realized he felt somewhat....hollow.
Gathering strength, he walked to his cabinet, and retrieved a light shirt to put on; while reflecting on his very words. He felt that morning had indeed brought something new, but something really vast inside of him told him that it wasn't joyful.
The air inside of the room started asphyxiating him; he had to get out, he had to find out what had happened.
As he opened the door, something caught his eyes. He felt his heart being stabbed by the cold blade of recognition as he saw a white envelope neatly placed in front of his door, the royal seal shining bright and red in the middle of it.
His heart started pounding unevenly as he bent to pick it up, and as his shattering fingers broke the royal seal. It was no anticipation, or uncertainty what worried him; it was realization, for he already knew what the letter said, even before his hands unfolded the paper.
.......................................
Hi dear readers.
You must probably hate me for finishing this chapter like this, but what can I say, I'm evil.
But you cannot say that I didn't give you romance this time, cause I did. Did you like it?.... Excuse me?.... .What is that? You wanted more? That wasn't enough?
Well, you are going to have to settle with this, at least for the moment.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little number. I'm sorry if it took me forever to update, but I spent lots of time writing and rewriting this, it was quite exhausting, to tell you the truth. So, just let me know what you think about it, this chapter has much of my heart, and it was darn hard to write.
Thanks for reading my story; I truly appreciate your comments.
Next chapter as soon as I can.
Blessings
Elwe.