Title: Catch me if you can
Chapter 5: Mental pain.
Author: Wordless_angel
Author email: wordless_angel @hotmail.com
Rating: PG
Spoilers: 411 on the DL; Cold Comfort; Blah Blah, Woof Woof; The Kidz are
Aiight; Hit a Sista Back; And Jesus Brought a Casserole; Designate This;
Proof of Purchase; Some Assembly Required
Disclaimer: None of this is mine. No offence is meant to the creators and
no money is being made from this work.
Summary: After her run in with Max, Jondy goes off to find Syl, who has her
own family problems.
A/N I can't get my highs of alcohol, because I'm allergic to something in
it. I'm far to scared to take drugs and as to getting my kicks out of
extreme sports. SNORE. Been there, done that. No, sad as this may seem, I
get my highs out of reviews, so please review. For my sake.
"Memory is a burden that wears the soul as the weather wears a stone."
"That's it, you're free." The guard began to unlock the door. The pretty, delicate looking blonde stood up from the bed.
"Who?" she asked.
"Says they're family." The guard shrugged as he roughly grabbed the woman and dragged her to the exit.
"Krit." The woman sighed. So he was finished being mad at her. When she saw who it really was she stopped. "Jondy?" she asked.
"I thought I warned you about adding to your collection, Syl." Syl pouted.
"You did. But it was such a nice piece. Old Russian."
"I don't care how nice it was." Syl frowned. Her little sister wasn't normally so uptight. Come to think of it, Jondy looked as if she'd been crying.
"I'm starving. How 'bout you buy me breakfast or lunch or something." Syl said. Jondy nodded and let Syl lead the way to a café. Syl ordered four eggs, three rashers of bacon, toast and orange juice. After all, Jondy was paying and no X5 passes up an opportunity for a free feed. Jondy just had black coffee. They sat in silence for a while.
"Are you going to spit it out, Jon?"
"I saw Max." Syl stopped eating.
"What?"
"I was horrible to her. I blamed her for the other dying."
"Please tell me you didn't yell at her about Zack." Jondy wouldn't meet her eyes. "Oh, man. You know who sensitive Max is."
"I was angry. Zack only went in with you lot because Max wanted it."
"Well, why don't you blame us, then?"
"Because you didn't go back after a lost cause."
"Brin is our sister. Are you telling me you would have let her die?"
"I know what they do to you at Manticore. Brin was dead and gone."
"Maybe, maybe not." Jondy glared and continued.
"Because you didn't go back after a lost cause and then get caught."
"Zack got caught to."
"Yes, but he would have been alive. You and I both know he never would have given into their tricks. He would have stayed Zack and got out eventually. But noooo, Max had to die and of course Zack had to shoot himself in the head. Now he can't even remember the name of Zane's stupid dog!"
"Fluffy."
"What?"
"Fluffy. The name of Zane's dog. Stupid name." Jondy glared and Syl decided to be sensible. "Zack would have done the same for us."
"No he wouldn't. He would say that the group needed a leader! It would have eaten away at him, but he'd have let us die." Jondy put her head in her hands. "He loved her so much. And you know what the worst part is? Max doesn't even know how much he cared."
"I think she understands."
"She doesn't understand!" Jondy lifted her head angrily. Syl recoiled a little. Jondy was fierce all the time, but she was mildly petrifying when she was mad. "She doesn't want to understand anything! Max just wants to be normal."
"That's what we all want." Syl said quietly. Jondy almost agreed.
Jondy flopped onto the floor and watched Zack. He paced back and forth, hands clasped behind him.
"When will you understand that I am trying to help you?" Jondy sighed. So he was going to do this again. For once, just once, she wished that he could at least pretend to understand.
"When will you understand that I am trying to ignore you? Take the hint and leave me alone." Her answer was snappy but too bad. He looked at her and something flicked in his eyes.
"Do you want to get recaptured? Do you want Manticore swarming all over this place?"
"Do you want a bloody nose, 'cause you're defiantly going the right way?"
"Cant you just try to understand my position as your CO."
"Cant you understand I just want a normal life?"
"I know, but we can't have that. I accepted that a long time ago. And I get so sick of hearing you lot talk about it, like it can ever happen."
"Hey, Jon, even Zack let us dream."
"Yeh, and look what happened to him." Jondy shot back.
"Don't get nasty." Syl rested her chin in her hands. "You know, I think Maxie isn't the only one who needs to deal with stuff." Jondy sighed and dropped her head in her hands again.
"You know, it's really my fault. I knew he was going to do something stupid and I didn't do anything. I should have gone with him, or at least knocked him unconscious."
"You know Zack as well as I do. He wouldn't have let you come and he defiantly wouldn't have let you knock him unconscious."
"But I should have tried!"
"It wouldn't have done any good."
"How do you know that?" Jondy yelled. People turned and stared and she lowered her voice before she continued. "How do I? I should have tried. Maybe you'd have a decent leader, maybe you'd still be."
"Maybe I'd still be locked up in that cell for nicking a beautiful piece from some militia group." Jondy raised an eyebrow. Syl shrugged. "They had plenty. I didn't think they'd notice. Anyway, Zack would have let me sit in the in the cell until I'd learned my lesson or escaped. Zack would never have stayed with me for a week when Krit wouldn't talk to me, again. Zack wouldn't have stayed up all night with me when I had seizures. I loved my brother, and he was an incredible CO. He was the best we could have. He was created that way. But he's not you." Jondy smiled.
"Really?"
"Absolutely." Jondy sighed.
"He was so strong."
"I know. Nothing seemed to worry him." Jondy laughed nastily.
"Oh, he worried. About you, Krit, Zane, Arze, Max, Tinga."
"You." Syl added. Jondy smiled.
"Yeh, I guess me. And Ben, he worried a lot about Ben. He mentioned something Eva said about him. Things hurt him, just like they did us. Sometimes more." Syl frowned.
"Really? " She had never seen that side of her brother.
"Yeh." Jondy said quietly.
"Do you know the date, Jondy? Do you know what today is?" Jondy thought for a moment.
"Nope, give up. Tell me."
"Today is the day we escaped from Manticore eleven years ago." Jondy was silent for a minute.
"Eleven years. That's a long time."
"Yeah, eleven years of running. Of hiding. Eleven years of fucking escape and evade practise." Zack laughed bitterly. "And you know what the worst part of today is?"
"That we have to wait another year for our next Manticore birthday?"
"Today was the day Eva died." Zack buried his face in his hands, trying not to cry. Jondy moved to sit next to him. She realised with a jolt how much Eva's death must have affected Zack.
"She shouldn't have died." He muttered into his hands rousing her from her thoughts. "I shouldn't have let her die." Jondy frowned.
"You didn't."
"I did. I failed her. I should have."
"He sure got pissed when we didn't follow orders though." Syl said. The withdrawn look Jondy had on her face was starting to scare her. Jondy smiled.
"That he did." Then she straightened her shoulders. "Speaking of orders, I better go and found out what my other brothers and sisters are destroying. Go make up with Krit." She added.
"Why would I need to do that?"
"Please Syl. You're an X5.You don't end up in prison unless someone sets you up. What happened this time? Let me guess. The two of you had a fight, you stomped out, and he got mad and set the alarm of, thus getting you caught. How long has it been now? A year?" Syl made a face.
"He started it." Jondy raised an eyebrow. "Okay. I'll say I'm sorry. I was going to anyway." Jondy smiled and turned away, then, as if on an afterthought, turned back.
"Syl, thank you." Syl smiled.
"Anytime, baby sister. Anytime." Jondy suddenly hugged her seated sister.
"Love you." She whispered and turned away.
"Love you to, Jondy." Syl answered softly. Jondy smiled sadly and kept walking.
"Memory is a burden that wears the soul as the weather wears a stone."
"That's it, you're free." The guard began to unlock the door. The pretty, delicate looking blonde stood up from the bed.
"Who?" she asked.
"Says they're family." The guard shrugged as he roughly grabbed the woman and dragged her to the exit.
"Krit." The woman sighed. So he was finished being mad at her. When she saw who it really was she stopped. "Jondy?" she asked.
"I thought I warned you about adding to your collection, Syl." Syl pouted.
"You did. But it was such a nice piece. Old Russian."
"I don't care how nice it was." Syl frowned. Her little sister wasn't normally so uptight. Come to think of it, Jondy looked as if she'd been crying.
"I'm starving. How 'bout you buy me breakfast or lunch or something." Syl said. Jondy nodded and let Syl lead the way to a café. Syl ordered four eggs, three rashers of bacon, toast and orange juice. After all, Jondy was paying and no X5 passes up an opportunity for a free feed. Jondy just had black coffee. They sat in silence for a while.
"Are you going to spit it out, Jon?"
"I saw Max." Syl stopped eating.
"What?"
"I was horrible to her. I blamed her for the other dying."
"Please tell me you didn't yell at her about Zack." Jondy wouldn't meet her eyes. "Oh, man. You know who sensitive Max is."
"I was angry. Zack only went in with you lot because Max wanted it."
"Well, why don't you blame us, then?"
"Because you didn't go back after a lost cause."
"Brin is our sister. Are you telling me you would have let her die?"
"I know what they do to you at Manticore. Brin was dead and gone."
"Maybe, maybe not." Jondy glared and continued.
"Because you didn't go back after a lost cause and then get caught."
"Zack got caught to."
"Yes, but he would have been alive. You and I both know he never would have given into their tricks. He would have stayed Zack and got out eventually. But noooo, Max had to die and of course Zack had to shoot himself in the head. Now he can't even remember the name of Zane's stupid dog!"
"Fluffy."
"What?"
"Fluffy. The name of Zane's dog. Stupid name." Jondy glared and Syl decided to be sensible. "Zack would have done the same for us."
"No he wouldn't. He would say that the group needed a leader! It would have eaten away at him, but he'd have let us die." Jondy put her head in her hands. "He loved her so much. And you know what the worst part is? Max doesn't even know how much he cared."
"I think she understands."
"She doesn't understand!" Jondy lifted her head angrily. Syl recoiled a little. Jondy was fierce all the time, but she was mildly petrifying when she was mad. "She doesn't want to understand anything! Max just wants to be normal."
"That's what we all want." Syl said quietly. Jondy almost agreed.
Jondy flopped onto the floor and watched Zack. He paced back and forth, hands clasped behind him.
"When will you understand that I am trying to help you?" Jondy sighed. So he was going to do this again. For once, just once, she wished that he could at least pretend to understand.
"When will you understand that I am trying to ignore you? Take the hint and leave me alone." Her answer was snappy but too bad. He looked at her and something flicked in his eyes.
"Do you want to get recaptured? Do you want Manticore swarming all over this place?"
"Do you want a bloody nose, 'cause you're defiantly going the right way?"
"Cant you just try to understand my position as your CO."
"Cant you understand I just want a normal life?"
"I know, but we can't have that. I accepted that a long time ago. And I get so sick of hearing you lot talk about it, like it can ever happen."
"Hey, Jon, even Zack let us dream."
"Yeh, and look what happened to him." Jondy shot back.
"Don't get nasty." Syl rested her chin in her hands. "You know, I think Maxie isn't the only one who needs to deal with stuff." Jondy sighed and dropped her head in her hands again.
"You know, it's really my fault. I knew he was going to do something stupid and I didn't do anything. I should have gone with him, or at least knocked him unconscious."
"You know Zack as well as I do. He wouldn't have let you come and he defiantly wouldn't have let you knock him unconscious."
"But I should have tried!"
"It wouldn't have done any good."
"How do you know that?" Jondy yelled. People turned and stared and she lowered her voice before she continued. "How do I? I should have tried. Maybe you'd have a decent leader, maybe you'd still be."
"Maybe I'd still be locked up in that cell for nicking a beautiful piece from some militia group." Jondy raised an eyebrow. Syl shrugged. "They had plenty. I didn't think they'd notice. Anyway, Zack would have let me sit in the in the cell until I'd learned my lesson or escaped. Zack would never have stayed with me for a week when Krit wouldn't talk to me, again. Zack wouldn't have stayed up all night with me when I had seizures. I loved my brother, and he was an incredible CO. He was the best we could have. He was created that way. But he's not you." Jondy smiled.
"Really?"
"Absolutely." Jondy sighed.
"He was so strong."
"I know. Nothing seemed to worry him." Jondy laughed nastily.
"Oh, he worried. About you, Krit, Zane, Arze, Max, Tinga."
"You." Syl added. Jondy smiled.
"Yeh, I guess me. And Ben, he worried a lot about Ben. He mentioned something Eva said about him. Things hurt him, just like they did us. Sometimes more." Syl frowned.
"Really? " She had never seen that side of her brother.
"Yeh." Jondy said quietly.
"Do you know the date, Jondy? Do you know what today is?" Jondy thought for a moment.
"Nope, give up. Tell me."
"Today is the day we escaped from Manticore eleven years ago." Jondy was silent for a minute.
"Eleven years. That's a long time."
"Yeah, eleven years of running. Of hiding. Eleven years of fucking escape and evade practise." Zack laughed bitterly. "And you know what the worst part of today is?"
"That we have to wait another year for our next Manticore birthday?"
"Today was the day Eva died." Zack buried his face in his hands, trying not to cry. Jondy moved to sit next to him. She realised with a jolt how much Eva's death must have affected Zack.
"She shouldn't have died." He muttered into his hands rousing her from her thoughts. "I shouldn't have let her die." Jondy frowned.
"You didn't."
"I did. I failed her. I should have."
"He sure got pissed when we didn't follow orders though." Syl said. The withdrawn look Jondy had on her face was starting to scare her. Jondy smiled.
"That he did." Then she straightened her shoulders. "Speaking of orders, I better go and found out what my other brothers and sisters are destroying. Go make up with Krit." She added.
"Why would I need to do that?"
"Please Syl. You're an X5.You don't end up in prison unless someone sets you up. What happened this time? Let me guess. The two of you had a fight, you stomped out, and he got mad and set the alarm of, thus getting you caught. How long has it been now? A year?" Syl made a face.
"He started it." Jondy raised an eyebrow. "Okay. I'll say I'm sorry. I was going to anyway." Jondy smiled and turned away, then, as if on an afterthought, turned back.
"Syl, thank you." Syl smiled.
"Anytime, baby sister. Anytime." Jondy suddenly hugged her seated sister.
"Love you." She whispered and turned away.
"Love you to, Jondy." Syl answered softly. Jondy smiled sadly and kept walking.