Fashion Victim
A Law and Order: SVU Parody
By: JH Surchester
Chapter One
It was a temperate, smooth-skied Sunday in this backwater precinct of Dead Twig, Georgia, a small rural community known for nothing but a snaky, tannic river that the town drunk wrote a song about a hundred years ago. The streets were quiet save for the blue-haired ladies and gents who navigated their shiny yachts along the main thoroughfare, decked out for church and then maybe a nice Sunday dinner afterward at the Dookie Diner.
Ah, the Dookie. Best coffee in town. Even if it was the only coffee in town if a cop didn't care for the watered-down swill found at the many convenience stores that dotted the town. Benson and Stabler were parked in a window booth in the no-smoking section, each lost in private, distant worlds on this quiet day of rest.
Olivia Benson perused the local paper, pausing on the arrests page. God, what was the world coming to. Most of the arrests were for either domestic abuse or failure to appear in court for DUI cases. What an exciting town.
What got her to Dead Twig in the first place was this: She'd been busted for not coming in to work the day after her 40th birthday party, choosing instead to wait out her hangover beached on a stranger's dirty duvet on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Well, she also had had some charming company with whom to pass the time. Little miss Alicia Stabler.
It'd been a tough week, that one, what with her breakup with ADA Alexandra Cabot being the water-cooler gossip of the precinct, and getting really fucking old, all in the same week. So she'd gotten a little tipsy and gone home with Elliot's niece. Jesus. A woman in a high stress job such as hers has to let off a little steam from time to time. But this time it didn't pay off. As punishment, Captain Cragen had sent her on a reconnaissance mission to this godforsaken hick town to suss out the possible nexus of a nationwide kiddie porn ring.
Her partner, Elliot Stabler was just along for the ride. He absentmindedly twirled a stirrer in his cold coffee while he stared out the diner window at a freight train grinding in slow motion along the railroad tracks across the street. Hey, it was February. He could use some peachy southern Georgia sunshine in exchange for the butt end of New York City winter and all its ugliness. Frozen homeless people. Hell, frozen Elliot. Besides, his wife was being a bitch lately. The kids were getting on his nerves. Good to get away for a week.
He stole a glance across the table at Olivia's chest, rising and falling under her signature cashmere V-neck and white t-shirt as she breathed slowly in concentration. It was natural for a man to look, right? Even if he had a snowball's chance in hell.
A Law and Order: SVU Parody
By: JH Surchester
Chapter One
It was a temperate, smooth-skied Sunday in this backwater precinct of Dead Twig, Georgia, a small rural community known for nothing but a snaky, tannic river that the town drunk wrote a song about a hundred years ago. The streets were quiet save for the blue-haired ladies and gents who navigated their shiny yachts along the main thoroughfare, decked out for church and then maybe a nice Sunday dinner afterward at the Dookie Diner.
Ah, the Dookie. Best coffee in town. Even if it was the only coffee in town if a cop didn't care for the watered-down swill found at the many convenience stores that dotted the town. Benson and Stabler were parked in a window booth in the no-smoking section, each lost in private, distant worlds on this quiet day of rest.
Olivia Benson perused the local paper, pausing on the arrests page. God, what was the world coming to. Most of the arrests were for either domestic abuse or failure to appear in court for DUI cases. What an exciting town.
What got her to Dead Twig in the first place was this: She'd been busted for not coming in to work the day after her 40th birthday party, choosing instead to wait out her hangover beached on a stranger's dirty duvet on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Well, she also had had some charming company with whom to pass the time. Little miss Alicia Stabler.
It'd been a tough week, that one, what with her breakup with ADA Alexandra Cabot being the water-cooler gossip of the precinct, and getting really fucking old, all in the same week. So she'd gotten a little tipsy and gone home with Elliot's niece. Jesus. A woman in a high stress job such as hers has to let off a little steam from time to time. But this time it didn't pay off. As punishment, Captain Cragen had sent her on a reconnaissance mission to this godforsaken hick town to suss out the possible nexus of a nationwide kiddie porn ring.
Her partner, Elliot Stabler was just along for the ride. He absentmindedly twirled a stirrer in his cold coffee while he stared out the diner window at a freight train grinding in slow motion along the railroad tracks across the street. Hey, it was February. He could use some peachy southern Georgia sunshine in exchange for the butt end of New York City winter and all its ugliness. Frozen homeless people. Hell, frozen Elliot. Besides, his wife was being a bitch lately. The kids were getting on his nerves. Good to get away for a week.
He stole a glance across the table at Olivia's chest, rising and falling under her signature cashmere V-neck and white t-shirt as she breathed slowly in concentration. It was natural for a man to look, right? Even if he had a snowball's chance in hell.