Chapter Two
Today had been a weird day, but hell, for me everyday is weird! I had been wandering around, feeling quite Ryoga-ish and wondering if I'd had to track Pop down for food money (not that he'd ever give it to me, but I could always 'borrow' it) when an advertisement in the classifieds caught my eye. Normally I wouldn't be caught dead applying for some stupid desk job, but I really did need the money, for food, shelter and. otherwise, and after all, it was at a detective agency! I had it all worked out a few minutes later: I'd work there for a few months, climb my way up to top P.I. and be outta here by this time next year. No sweat, I could do it. I'm a Saotome, I can do anything!
With that in mind, I walked straight across town, through three freak rainstorms and one typhoon. By the time I reached the A.T.N.T. doors, my clothes were reasonably dry, although my hair was not. I had thrown on a woman's business suit after the third time the sky had darkened on me, and amazingly, that was when the rain ended. Typical. "Oh well," I thought aloud, "Might help me get the job! Good first impression on this guy." I rapped on the door and waited. A few seconds later it was answered by a cute, obviously overstressed woman, around my age. She stared at me for a moment, so I stared right back, but quickly stopped. She might get the wrong idea.
She escorted me in once she caught herself and, grinning, I plopped down into the chair across from her desk. She fixed her desk up a bit, organizing some papers and making me wonder if maybe she was the one I was replacing. Too bad, she seemed to be okay, for a girl of course. Oh well, to the victor go the spoils, and I needed any spoils I could get my hands on!
"So, what's your name?" Oh crap, I hadn't thought about that! Think, dammit, think! Umm, umm.
"I'm Ranko!" I was having a little trouble thinking straight now, and I began plotting the quickest escape route. Why, you may ask? Because I knew this girl. Her hair, her voice, none of it had really changed much in the past year. Oh sure, she looked more sure of herself now, but it was still Akane, and if she knew who I was she wouldn't be satisfied with just malleting me into LEO. No, she would probably have some far worse destination for me, like six feet under. But maybe it wasn't Akane! After all, I'm sure plenty of girls look.and sound.and remind me more than anything of -. Yeah, this is ridiculous. It couldn't be her, I was just imagining things!
"Now Ranko, you really are a girl? Not just some weirdo trying to get in here so you can grope me or something, right?" Oh crap, she was onto me! Not that I was in here to grope her, no sane (and I empathize the word sane) person would want to, but oh damn it, she's recognized me!
"Umm, of course! I outta get going." Okay, out the window, into the dumpster I saw on the way in and if I'm lucky I'll be home free!
"Oh no, don't go!" Well, this is weird. Akane (if it was her) wasn't acting at all like herself, or at least the one I knew. She was being fairly nice to me, telling me about herself and Kuno, and she still hadn't grabbed a large mallet out of thin air to attack me with! Maybe it wasn't her.
".I was just so glad you weren't a guy!" I ducked to the ground, waiting for Akane to murder me. All she did was look at me worriedly. Slowly picking myself up, I realized she had no idea who I was. Yes, fortune smiles upon me once again!
* * *
An hour and a half later, I had finished the interview and was considering my sanity level. I had made up the most ridiculous life history I could come up with for Ranko. and the tomboy had bought it! S now I had a job and my own apartment. (I was given the one in the office's basement) Suddenly, Akane let out a shriek.
"Oh no, P-Chan!"
A grin found it's way to my face before I could control it. "P-Chan?!?!" I wondered how the little bundle-o'-pork was doing, so I quickly followed Akane up the stairs. After I managed to decline an offer for her * shudder * cookies, I was left in the company of a certain black piglet.
"My, but ain't you cute! So much like my own dear, sweet, uh, Charlotte!" I said loudly, testing to see if this was all just a ruse for Akane to murder me in a nice, out of the public's eye, most likely sound proof area. When no answer was heard from the hostess, I relaxed and turned towards my companion.
"So, 'P-Chan' what's been up? 've ya got any new techniques? See anywhere nice? Did'ja find some new girl starting with 'A' to adopt you, or are you just sticking with 'Kane?" In reply, Ryoga bit me. "Oww! Hey you stu-." I heard footsteps close by and fell to the ground, moaning in mock pain, just as Akane walked back in. Noticing my position, she ran over and grabbed Ryoga off my arm.
"Are you okay? Jeese, I'm so sorry! P-Chan is usually so good. I don't know what could've gotten into him!" I smiled weakly at her, trying not to laugh.
"Oh, I'll be fine. What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, ne? But the little sweetheart has had all his shots, right?"
"Yes, yes of course. I got him all fixed up about six years ago, when I first got him, but maybe we should bring you to a doctor."
"Oh, that's oka-." I started.
"Nope, don't even try to stop me, tomorrow I'm bringing you to this great doctor I know."
"But -" Oh crap, Tofu would recognize me straight off.
"Sorry, this is my first official order for you! G'night!"
She pushed me out the door and down the two flights of stairs before I could retort. I glared at the corner of her door I could see and sighed, pulling the door to my new house open. It was fairly nice, with a small kitchen and a futon already rolled out for me. I lay down to close my eyes for half a second, and was almost immediately asleep.
* * *
I was a bit confused the next morning when I woke up in a strange room, but that was soon cleared up when I opened my door to find my new boss standing there, arms crossed and scowling. "Finally! I've been knocking for an hour now, and. you still are dressed?! We're going to be late!" I glanced sleepily at the little clock on the wall and yelped. "9:00?! Damn it Akane, why didn't you wake me up sooner dummy? Not that I expect much from a tomboy like you, but." I bit my tongue as I woke up a bit more and finally realized where I was. "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!?!" Oh great, my first day, and already I'm going to get malleted. Life really sucks sometimes, you know. "Oh, umm I'm s-sorry." Amazingly, the world didn't end. "I. I thought you were. someone else! Yeah, that's it, someone else." I smiled to myself at my clever cover. She glared at me a little less venomously as she asked, "And who would that be?"
"My old fiancée!"
Now the anger was completely gone, replaced by utter confusion. "Fiancée?!?!"
"Oh yeah, well it was just an arranged thing by my Pop and she lives in. Alberta!" I was sure I had heard of that place somewhere.
She stared openly. "You're engaged to a girl?"
Of course! Honestly, what kind of question was that, anyways? Only a complete moron would try to engage -.
"O-okay, great! Anyways Ranko, I got you an appointment at 9:30 with the doctor, so you'd better get ready. Meet me in the office when you're dressed, 'kay?"
With that Akane walked up the stairs, leaving me to contemplate the sudden realization that my fiancée seemed to have absolutely no clue as to my true identity. I put myself on the line with all the subtle (and not-so-subtle) clues I had dropped, the most obvious being the name; and yet Akane hadn't even flinched. Was it possible that I had treated her so horribly in the past that she had driven the thought of me out of her mind? Or on the flip side, maybe she had been so devastated by my absence. okay, that's just ridiculous. But I wasn't that bad either, so it was back to the drawing board. Pulling on the nearest shirt and pants I could reach, I walked as slowly as I could up the path Akane had treaded a few moments before.
Today had been a weird day, but hell, for me everyday is weird! I had been wandering around, feeling quite Ryoga-ish and wondering if I'd had to track Pop down for food money (not that he'd ever give it to me, but I could always 'borrow' it) when an advertisement in the classifieds caught my eye. Normally I wouldn't be caught dead applying for some stupid desk job, but I really did need the money, for food, shelter and. otherwise, and after all, it was at a detective agency! I had it all worked out a few minutes later: I'd work there for a few months, climb my way up to top P.I. and be outta here by this time next year. No sweat, I could do it. I'm a Saotome, I can do anything!
With that in mind, I walked straight across town, through three freak rainstorms and one typhoon. By the time I reached the A.T.N.T. doors, my clothes were reasonably dry, although my hair was not. I had thrown on a woman's business suit after the third time the sky had darkened on me, and amazingly, that was when the rain ended. Typical. "Oh well," I thought aloud, "Might help me get the job! Good first impression on this guy." I rapped on the door and waited. A few seconds later it was answered by a cute, obviously overstressed woman, around my age. She stared at me for a moment, so I stared right back, but quickly stopped. She might get the wrong idea.
She escorted me in once she caught herself and, grinning, I plopped down into the chair across from her desk. She fixed her desk up a bit, organizing some papers and making me wonder if maybe she was the one I was replacing. Too bad, she seemed to be okay, for a girl of course. Oh well, to the victor go the spoils, and I needed any spoils I could get my hands on!
"So, what's your name?" Oh crap, I hadn't thought about that! Think, dammit, think! Umm, umm.
"I'm Ranko!" I was having a little trouble thinking straight now, and I began plotting the quickest escape route. Why, you may ask? Because I knew this girl. Her hair, her voice, none of it had really changed much in the past year. Oh sure, she looked more sure of herself now, but it was still Akane, and if she knew who I was she wouldn't be satisfied with just malleting me into LEO. No, she would probably have some far worse destination for me, like six feet under. But maybe it wasn't Akane! After all, I'm sure plenty of girls look.and sound.and remind me more than anything of -. Yeah, this is ridiculous. It couldn't be her, I was just imagining things!
"Now Ranko, you really are a girl? Not just some weirdo trying to get in here so you can grope me or something, right?" Oh crap, she was onto me! Not that I was in here to grope her, no sane (and I empathize the word sane) person would want to, but oh damn it, she's recognized me!
"Umm, of course! I outta get going." Okay, out the window, into the dumpster I saw on the way in and if I'm lucky I'll be home free!
"Oh no, don't go!" Well, this is weird. Akane (if it was her) wasn't acting at all like herself, or at least the one I knew. She was being fairly nice to me, telling me about herself and Kuno, and she still hadn't grabbed a large mallet out of thin air to attack me with! Maybe it wasn't her.
".I was just so glad you weren't a guy!" I ducked to the ground, waiting for Akane to murder me. All she did was look at me worriedly. Slowly picking myself up, I realized she had no idea who I was. Yes, fortune smiles upon me once again!
* * *
An hour and a half later, I had finished the interview and was considering my sanity level. I had made up the most ridiculous life history I could come up with for Ranko. and the tomboy had bought it! S now I had a job and my own apartment. (I was given the one in the office's basement) Suddenly, Akane let out a shriek.
"Oh no, P-Chan!"
A grin found it's way to my face before I could control it. "P-Chan?!?!" I wondered how the little bundle-o'-pork was doing, so I quickly followed Akane up the stairs. After I managed to decline an offer for her * shudder * cookies, I was left in the company of a certain black piglet.
"My, but ain't you cute! So much like my own dear, sweet, uh, Charlotte!" I said loudly, testing to see if this was all just a ruse for Akane to murder me in a nice, out of the public's eye, most likely sound proof area. When no answer was heard from the hostess, I relaxed and turned towards my companion.
"So, 'P-Chan' what's been up? 've ya got any new techniques? See anywhere nice? Did'ja find some new girl starting with 'A' to adopt you, or are you just sticking with 'Kane?" In reply, Ryoga bit me. "Oww! Hey you stu-." I heard footsteps close by and fell to the ground, moaning in mock pain, just as Akane walked back in. Noticing my position, she ran over and grabbed Ryoga off my arm.
"Are you okay? Jeese, I'm so sorry! P-Chan is usually so good. I don't know what could've gotten into him!" I smiled weakly at her, trying not to laugh.
"Oh, I'll be fine. What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger, ne? But the little sweetheart has had all his shots, right?"
"Yes, yes of course. I got him all fixed up about six years ago, when I first got him, but maybe we should bring you to a doctor."
"Oh, that's oka-." I started.
"Nope, don't even try to stop me, tomorrow I'm bringing you to this great doctor I know."
"But -" Oh crap, Tofu would recognize me straight off.
"Sorry, this is my first official order for you! G'night!"
She pushed me out the door and down the two flights of stairs before I could retort. I glared at the corner of her door I could see and sighed, pulling the door to my new house open. It was fairly nice, with a small kitchen and a futon already rolled out for me. I lay down to close my eyes for half a second, and was almost immediately asleep.
* * *
I was a bit confused the next morning when I woke up in a strange room, but that was soon cleared up when I opened my door to find my new boss standing there, arms crossed and scowling. "Finally! I've been knocking for an hour now, and. you still are dressed?! We're going to be late!" I glanced sleepily at the little clock on the wall and yelped. "9:00?! Damn it Akane, why didn't you wake me up sooner dummy? Not that I expect much from a tomboy like you, but." I bit my tongue as I woke up a bit more and finally realized where I was. "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!?!" Oh great, my first day, and already I'm going to get malleted. Life really sucks sometimes, you know. "Oh, umm I'm s-sorry." Amazingly, the world didn't end. "I. I thought you were. someone else! Yeah, that's it, someone else." I smiled to myself at my clever cover. She glared at me a little less venomously as she asked, "And who would that be?"
"My old fiancée!"
Now the anger was completely gone, replaced by utter confusion. "Fiancée?!?!"
"Oh yeah, well it was just an arranged thing by my Pop and she lives in. Alberta!" I was sure I had heard of that place somewhere.
She stared openly. "You're engaged to a girl?"
Of course! Honestly, what kind of question was that, anyways? Only a complete moron would try to engage -.
"O-okay, great! Anyways Ranko, I got you an appointment at 9:30 with the doctor, so you'd better get ready. Meet me in the office when you're dressed, 'kay?"
With that Akane walked up the stairs, leaving me to contemplate the sudden realization that my fiancée seemed to have absolutely no clue as to my true identity. I put myself on the line with all the subtle (and not-so-subtle) clues I had dropped, the most obvious being the name; and yet Akane hadn't even flinched. Was it possible that I had treated her so horribly in the past that she had driven the thought of me out of her mind? Or on the flip side, maybe she had been so devastated by my absence. okay, that's just ridiculous. But I wasn't that bad either, so it was back to the drawing board. Pulling on the nearest shirt and pants I could reach, I walked as slowly as I could up the path Akane had treaded a few moments before.