Luke and Jacen are talking when the Dead Jedi appear.
Luke: Master Yoda? Father?
Yoda: Talk to you, I must! Married Tang Stain, you did! Lost your brains you must have!
Anakin (to Jacen, while Yoda harangues Luke): You're the only one of my grandchildren not to become a complete Marasite. Well done! However, to set you straight: there is a Dark Side. I should know, I served it for twenty years.
Jacen: But Vergere said...
Ani: That feathery pest? I don't know why Obi-Wan and I ever bothered going off to look for her. Pity she hadn't stayed lost.
(Anakin turns to Luke. Yoda is now walloping him with his ghostly gimer stick.)
Anakin: What possessed you, my son?
Luke: Uumm...I thought I was going to die at the time?
Ani: That's no excuse! Although, come to think of it, your mother...
Yoda: A good woman and a lady, your mother was! A horror without words, Jade is!
Luke: To tell you the truth, I'm sick of her myself. All that endless preening and pampering...the way she scolds me all the time...I hardly get to touch my own child...
Ani: That's the spirit, Luke! Reject the Dark Side...for the #4371 time!
Yoda: If resisted the Dark Side YOU had, Anakin-
Ani: Er-yes, Master. Let's go see Leia, shall we?
Everyone troops into Leia's office. She is hidden behind stacks of papers on refugee relocation, Vong-fighting and other galaxy-saving stuff. Jaina is also there, in the middle of an EU!Skywalker-sized whining session.
Leia: Jaina, I'm trying to work here.
Jaina: But Mo-om...
Jacen: Visitors, Mom.
Leia: Hello, Father.
Jaina: That's DARTH VADER?!!
Luke, Leia, Yoda and Anakin, in unison: Anakin Skywalker, actually.
Jaina: Whatever.
Anakin: Leia, I can't say how sorry I am for...well, everything.
Leia: I have forgiven you, Father, At least you repented. Unlike my DEAR sister-in-law.
Anakin: I've come to fix that, actually.
Leia: You know, you're not so bad after all. Luke was right; under all that evil there was a sensible human being somewhere. You think you can bring my REAL brother back?
Jaina: Well, anyway, I want you to get Prince Iso-loser to stop hitting on me. It's disgusting, he's old enough to be my father...
Leia: Wow, a sensible complaint at last.
Jaina: ...in fact if you'd married him that time he WOULD be my father...
Leia: Whoa. What time? Hon, the only person I was ever thinking of marrying was your father. We got married on Endor after we blew up the second Death Star...and then we had a slight 'hyperdrive malfunction' on the way to Coruscant...kind of like the one on the way to Bespin, only accidentally-on-purpose and a lot more fun...(She smiles reminiscently)
Luke: So that's what happened...
Jacen: La la la not listening, not listening...
Jaina: Well, where did you think we came from, Jasa? The intergalactic stork?
Yoda: Heh heh. Already, balance is being restored. Never happened, the Unfaithfulness and Kidnapping and Other Crap of the Doppelganger of Princess Leia.
Anakin: So what about this Ass-holder guy? Got to stop his paedophilic tendencies towards my granddaughter! Maybe I should give him a talking-to?
Leia: Like you 'talked to' Han in Cloud City?
Anakin: I thought you forgave me?
Leia: Get rid of that pest Iso-loser and I'll forget Cloud City.
Ani: Deal. (He heads outside.)
Jacen: What about that old flame of Dad's? Brarf or something?
Han (coming in through the door): Who? Oh, Bria Tharen? Tart. Don't know what I saw in her. Your mom's the only woman I ever loved, son. Sweetheart, kids, guess what...
Leia: Anakin's back!
Luke: Both of them!
Kin emerges from behind the door.
Kin: No point hiding from a family of Jedi!
Hugs and tears all round.
Han: Whose the tall guy with the lightsaber? I thought I knew most of the Jedi.
Leia: That's your father-in-law, Han.
Han: Huh? He looks a lot different to the last time I saw him. Lost the tin can, for a start. Anyway, didn't he die?
Leia: He's come back to get rid of Isolder-and Mara.
Han: Praise the Force! Hallelujah!
Luke: I thought you didn't believe in the Force, Han?
Han: That was thirty years ago, kid. Besides, this is enough to make a believer out of anyone!
Jaina: He's going to KILL AUNT MARA?!
Kin: Yup. Don't worry, the blindness will wear off in time. It did for me, and I was a hopeless case!
From outside comes the click-hum of a lightsaber activating, then a scream from Isolder as he is sent to Gary-Stu hell.
Han: I should have done that years ago. (Kisses Leia. Luke smiles, Kin and Jacen roll their eyes at each other.)
Anakin (returning): I finished off a few other Gary Stu's while I was at it. Corran Horn, Kyp Durron, Karrde, Grand Admiral Yawn...Do we have any large pits or chasms around here?
Luke: There's a giant garbage masher with a viewing gallery on the other side of the building. Why?
Anakin: The Bad Guy in any lightsaber duel has to fall down a big hole when he is defeated. It's symbolic.
Leia: Does this mean you're going to duel Mara now?
Yoda: Face her you must. Mind what you have learned! Save you it can!
Luke: Come on, everyone!
Luke: Master Yoda? Father?
Yoda: Talk to you, I must! Married Tang Stain, you did! Lost your brains you must have!
Anakin (to Jacen, while Yoda harangues Luke): You're the only one of my grandchildren not to become a complete Marasite. Well done! However, to set you straight: there is a Dark Side. I should know, I served it for twenty years.
Jacen: But Vergere said...
Ani: That feathery pest? I don't know why Obi-Wan and I ever bothered going off to look for her. Pity she hadn't stayed lost.
(Anakin turns to Luke. Yoda is now walloping him with his ghostly gimer stick.)
Anakin: What possessed you, my son?
Luke: Uumm...I thought I was going to die at the time?
Ani: That's no excuse! Although, come to think of it, your mother...
Yoda: A good woman and a lady, your mother was! A horror without words, Jade is!
Luke: To tell you the truth, I'm sick of her myself. All that endless preening and pampering...the way she scolds me all the time...I hardly get to touch my own child...
Ani: That's the spirit, Luke! Reject the Dark Side...for the #4371 time!
Yoda: If resisted the Dark Side YOU had, Anakin-
Ani: Er-yes, Master. Let's go see Leia, shall we?
Everyone troops into Leia's office. She is hidden behind stacks of papers on refugee relocation, Vong-fighting and other galaxy-saving stuff. Jaina is also there, in the middle of an EU!Skywalker-sized whining session.
Leia: Jaina, I'm trying to work here.
Jaina: But Mo-om...
Jacen: Visitors, Mom.
Leia: Hello, Father.
Jaina: That's DARTH VADER?!!
Luke, Leia, Yoda and Anakin, in unison: Anakin Skywalker, actually.
Jaina: Whatever.
Anakin: Leia, I can't say how sorry I am for...well, everything.
Leia: I have forgiven you, Father, At least you repented. Unlike my DEAR sister-in-law.
Anakin: I've come to fix that, actually.
Leia: You know, you're not so bad after all. Luke was right; under all that evil there was a sensible human being somewhere. You think you can bring my REAL brother back?
Jaina: Well, anyway, I want you to get Prince Iso-loser to stop hitting on me. It's disgusting, he's old enough to be my father...
Leia: Wow, a sensible complaint at last.
Jaina: ...in fact if you'd married him that time he WOULD be my father...
Leia: Whoa. What time? Hon, the only person I was ever thinking of marrying was your father. We got married on Endor after we blew up the second Death Star...and then we had a slight 'hyperdrive malfunction' on the way to Coruscant...kind of like the one on the way to Bespin, only accidentally-on-purpose and a lot more fun...(She smiles reminiscently)
Luke: So that's what happened...
Jacen: La la la not listening, not listening...
Jaina: Well, where did you think we came from, Jasa? The intergalactic stork?
Yoda: Heh heh. Already, balance is being restored. Never happened, the Unfaithfulness and Kidnapping and Other Crap of the Doppelganger of Princess Leia.
Anakin: So what about this Ass-holder guy? Got to stop his paedophilic tendencies towards my granddaughter! Maybe I should give him a talking-to?
Leia: Like you 'talked to' Han in Cloud City?
Anakin: I thought you forgave me?
Leia: Get rid of that pest Iso-loser and I'll forget Cloud City.
Ani: Deal. (He heads outside.)
Jacen: What about that old flame of Dad's? Brarf or something?
Han (coming in through the door): Who? Oh, Bria Tharen? Tart. Don't know what I saw in her. Your mom's the only woman I ever loved, son. Sweetheart, kids, guess what...
Leia: Anakin's back!
Luke: Both of them!
Kin emerges from behind the door.
Kin: No point hiding from a family of Jedi!
Hugs and tears all round.
Han: Whose the tall guy with the lightsaber? I thought I knew most of the Jedi.
Leia: That's your father-in-law, Han.
Han: Huh? He looks a lot different to the last time I saw him. Lost the tin can, for a start. Anyway, didn't he die?
Leia: He's come back to get rid of Isolder-and Mara.
Han: Praise the Force! Hallelujah!
Luke: I thought you didn't believe in the Force, Han?
Han: That was thirty years ago, kid. Besides, this is enough to make a believer out of anyone!
Jaina: He's going to KILL AUNT MARA?!
Kin: Yup. Don't worry, the blindness will wear off in time. It did for me, and I was a hopeless case!
From outside comes the click-hum of a lightsaber activating, then a scream from Isolder as he is sent to Gary-Stu hell.
Han: I should have done that years ago. (Kisses Leia. Luke smiles, Kin and Jacen roll their eyes at each other.)
Anakin (returning): I finished off a few other Gary Stu's while I was at it. Corran Horn, Kyp Durron, Karrde, Grand Admiral Yawn...Do we have any large pits or chasms around here?
Luke: There's a giant garbage masher with a viewing gallery on the other side of the building. Why?
Anakin: The Bad Guy in any lightsaber duel has to fall down a big hole when he is defeated. It's symbolic.
Leia: Does this mean you're going to duel Mara now?
Yoda: Face her you must. Mind what you have learned! Save you it can!
Luke: Come on, everyone!