Three – Nowhere
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Nowhere
so
is it over
time
could have told you
piece
by piece
till the stillness
echoing
no-one
nothing
nothing
no-one
could make me feel
the way I'm feeling
no-one
hands
let me hold you
eyes
let me see your face
smile again
as the world
goes tumbling
there is
nowhere
I would rather spend
these lazy crazy days
than here
nowhere
Nowhere – Aqualung
* * * * * * * * * * * *
I can feel his heart beating. Feel his chest rising with every breath. I've never felt happier. Never felt stronger. Never felt safer. Does he realise how his strong arms make me feel? That the warmth of his breath against my neck makes me feel calm? That the beating of his heart reminds me that I'm alive? Will he ever realise? Will he ever know?
Yes, if I tell him.
"I love you," I whisper to his chest. We're still curled up in the chair, though the fire has died down and the new sun is rising. I slept without nightmares, for the first time in weeks, months, and years. "I love you," I whisper again. "Thank you."
"There is nowhere I would rather spend these lazy, crazy days than here, with you, he murmurs sleepily.
I smile. Comforted.
"I'm going to get dressed," I whisper, brushing his lips gently with the chastest of kisses. He opens one eye warily, smiling slightly.
"What a beautiful sight to wake to," he murmurs, lifting a hand to stroke my face gently. He frowns suddenly as his fingertips rest on the bruise on my cheek. "You should go to Madam Pomfrey," he continues. "And tell Dumbledore."
I sigh. I shake my head.
"I thought you understood," I whisper. "I can't tell them. I thought you realised," I continue, pushing myself away from him, going to rise from the chair.
"No," he insists, reaching out and grasping my wrist. "I do," he whispers, his eyes wide with fear. "I do understand. I promise. But… but… Okay!" he almost laughs, but his eyes are cold. "Don't tell Dumbledore, but please, at least have Pomfrey check you over. Please?" he whispers, eyes pleading.
I nod slowly. Oh how I love you. "Later," I mumble. "Let me get dressed."
He nods, loosens his grip, allowing me to leave. Not before pulling me close though, kissing my forehead gently and whispering to me.
"Hands let me hold you. Eyes let me see your face smile again. As the world goes tumbling, around us."
I smile ever so gently. "I think I really love you Oliver Wood."
"Of course," he smiles, sitting back in the chair and raising one eyebrow slightly, blue eyes twinkling mischievously.
I laugh. I actually laugh. How long has it been since I last laughed? I don't remember. All I know is that no one, nothing, nothing, no one, could make me feel the way I'm feeling. No one but Oliver Wood.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Madam Pomfrey is looking at me, questioning me. I don't hang my head; I'm not ashamed.
"What happened Katie?" she asks as she checks me over, quietly mending a broken rib I didn't even know I had. She refuses to heal the bruises, somehow I don't think it's because she can't. She wants someone to know. Wants me to tell.
"What happened Katie?" she's asking again, her pale blue eyes sombre and her mouth tight. Pity. I feel myself growl.
"Nothing," I hiss, trying to climb down off the bed.
"All right! All right!" she cries, catching me as I stumble, my head feels strangely light. "We'll put it down as a Quidditch accident. It's not like that's never happened before, is it?"
She's smiling now and I relax slightly. But the smile hasn't reached her eyes, she's worried, confused. I don't feel any pain as she prods and pokes her way around my body, mending chipped bones, discovering new bruises. I feel numb. Cold. Confused. I can't think. Don't. There's nothing to think about.
I hear a voice outside the door as she finishes, hands me my robes.
"Can I come in?"
Oliver. Something to think about.
"Mr Wood. Miss Bell is weary, she needs rest and plenty of food. I trust you'll look after her?"
"Of course!" he smiles eagerly, walking forwards and helping me to climb down off the bed, supporting me. For a moment I feel warm, touched. Then the nothing returns. I sigh.
"Come on," he whispers. "Let's get you something to eat."
* *
The Great Hall is quiet, it's a sunny day and the students have rushed outside. The air in here is cool, not dank, but light, breezy. Oliver sits me at the Gryffindor table and starts to place food on my golden plate. Chicken. Potatoes. Broccoli. And a glass of pumpkin juice. I gaze at the plate. Am I hungry? I'm not sure, I feel so empty, so hollow. I can't tell. I can't tell if I'm hungry or not. The strangest sensation is rippling through my body. I feel numb. Disconnected. Like my head is hovering, no body attached to it. I can see my hands; see them grasp the knife and fork, cut up the chicken, watch as it travels to my mouth. But I can't feel it, can't taste it.
I place the fork down, almost alarmed at the feeling that has come over me. I reach out my hand to touch Oliver's sleeve, unconsciously he reaches out and grasps my hand, still talking to Lee Jordan who's sitting close to us.
Hands, let me hold you.
I can't feel him. I can see my hand, see it grasping his smooth fingers tightly. I turn my head to the side slightly, concentrating. I can't feel it. Nothing. No one.
Eyes, let me see your face
I gaze at him. At his dark hair as those blue eyes twinkling as he laughs. I wonder if he realises how beautiful he is? How those other girls are glaring at me as he grasps my hand? He laughs again, something George Weasley said. I can't hear it. My ears are ringing. I feel strange still. Disconnected. Oliver's jaw is moving as he speaks, his thumb is moving in soft circles, caressing my hand. He knows I'm watching, knows I'm there. He smiles again as he squeezes my hand.
Smile again
I blink. Oliver's face is swimming in and out of focus. He's smiling, smiling and laughing. He knows I'm there. But he doesn't see. Doesn't see me falling.
As the world goes tumbling
Falling. I shudder, a wave of cold sweeps over me and I grasp his hand tightly. It doesn't stop me falling. I slip backwards off the bench. The world tumbles as I fall, suddenly sped up. Noise comes back to me. Shouts and screams. Oliver's yelling, scared, panicked. Angelina screams somewhere, I recognise her voice. But I can't feel anything. Nothing. There's nothing there. Then, as I slide into the warm blackness, I feel it. A gently hand, squeezing mine, grasping, begging, pleading. Hold on.
hands
let me hold you
eyes
let me see your face
smile again
as the world
goes tumbling
* * * * * * * * * * * *
Wow! Go me! I figured out html AND added more to the third chapter :D :D
I cannot thank XOX enough, babe, you said your face cracked…. Seriously my dimples hurt soooooooo much from smiling! Thank you thank you! you made my day, twice! Invisible was a little ficlet I wrote to the song, halfway to the bottom, by aqualung. I guess its how I was feeling one day. Invisible to him however, is simply a fleshed out version of Invisible. I.e. everything's explained more, more Oliver, more Katie, more tears, more songs! I'm not adding anything else to Invisible. It's done. It's all rounded up. Invisible to him however… now that has a long way to go before it's finished… and my evil little self is determined not to reveal too much more until she's got a few more reviews. Bwahahaha!! Wowzer! I have a mad fan! One mad fan… but it's a fan all the same!! Hugs :D