"To Walk Away" 2/3
Rita Widmer
All important info is in the first part. Enjoy. Thanks to Mac and Lauri for betaing this story.
Spoilers: Impact
************************************************************************
Admiral's Office
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Admiral A.J. Chegwidden sat behind his desk with Mac standing rigidly at attention in front of him. A strange sense of deja vu was coming over both of them. As they stared at each other waiting for him to speak.
"Mac, sit down. I don't really want this to be like last time. This time I want an explanation of why you want to leave her again, and I don't want you to hold anything back. Lets get rid of all regulations, and be completely honest."
"Sir, this time it is not that I'm not happy about being here, or feeling like I'm unwanted. This opportunity is too big for me to want to turn down. It can lead to so many other opportunities that I would not have here. There isn't one person here that doesn't know that Harm will replace you one day as JAG. Some day I will have to leave here, because two high ranking officers don't have a spot. Working for the CIA just means I will leave her sooner then planned. I will get a chance to work with JAG once in awhile just like we work with them at times."
"Mac, if you wanted to move on why not just tell me. I could have looked into other job openings. It might not have been right away, but there could be some positions that would provide you a place that would help you move up. Even some that would allow you to work here part time."
"I know you would, sir. That is not the problem here. I probably could have found something that would have suited me fine, but the CIA is offering me a job that will allow me to use all my abilities for the better good. I may never get recognized for my work, but in a time of a war we need everyone possible that knows a lot about Middle Eastern culture, language, and law should be called upon to help. I'm one of those people, and I could even pass as Middle Eastern if needed."
"I'm not denying that you can't do this job, but do you really want to leave your friends here? Or your job? You could do more work as a judge, and in time you could be leading important cases."
Mac stood up, and went to attention before answering him. "Sir, I have made my mind up. I want this job position. If you have any respect for my opinion, sign the transfer papers."
"Colonel, I won't sign these papers now. Not because I don't respect your opinion, but to give you a chance to rethink this change. Give me a chance to look up other positions if you are so inclined to leave. In 2 weeks, if you want to work for the CIA still then I will sign your papers."
"But Sir!" The anger was peeking through her words. She was really getting tired of having her own ideas be put down by him and Harm just like when Harm was made judge. 'Always someone that is laughing at my choices. Well I'll show him, and everyone else I made the right decision,' Mac thought to herself as stared forward.
"If the CIA wants you that badly they will wait 2 weeks for your decision. Dismissed!"
"Aye, aye sir." Mac left the Admiral's office more determined then ever to leave JAG. *************************************
That night
Mac's Apartment
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mac was looking over files from work that she knew would have to be finished before she left JAG in two weeks. She was not going to leave anything undone that could hinder her leaving. Concentrating hard on her work it took her a moment to here the knock on her door. The pounding got louder as she got closer to the door. She knew who it would be out there, and she was in no hurry to face him. He was her hardest opponent in her want to leave.
Instead of just opening the door, she just commanded him to come in. She was really not ready for this confrontation. The look on his face told her all she needed to know about his reaction. There was no question that he was angered, but if she looked more closely she saw pain and sadness.
"Harm, if you came over here to convince me not to leave don't waste your breath. I'm taking this job offer no matter what anyone says. Even if it means resigning my commission to do so."
He looked down as he rethought his opening statement. He wanted to yell at her, and tell her how stupid her leaving was but he couldn't. She was no longer going to listen to anyone especially him. Somehow he made the trip to the couch before he tried another attack.
"If you don't want to hear why to stay at JAG, at least, convince me why you should leave. The Admiral warned me, you weren't going to listen to common sense after I learned from Webb that you are transferring."
"Listen to common sense?!! Flyboy, if I had more common sense I would have left ages ago. Instead I convinced myself that people wanted me there, and respected me as a lawyer and a person. Coming back from my undercover assignment, I figured out no one really did care. I had my first inkling of this after my TAD trip to the GuadalCanal. when no one welcomed me back, or congratulated me on rescuing over a dozen people's lives. All I got when I received the medal was a sarcastic congratulations from the Admiral. I don't care about the medal or the reception, but people cared more about my leaving then my coming back. You save an Admiral, and you get a DFC, and it is given by the President of the United States at the Rose Garden. I know its not a big deal to you, but it only adds to that big ego of yours. I want to do something more with my life then what I will ever do at JAG. Anyways they'll kick me out of there one day, because Harmon Rabb, Jr. will be the next JAG." Mac took a long breath trying to calm herself down.
Harm fell into the couch after being stunned by Mac's outburst. "Is...is that what you really think of me? I am sorry if I gave you that impression, Mac. I would have hoped you thought a little better of me then that. Sure sometimes I can be selfish, and let my own personal needs win over yours. I tried to be there in the end, and all I could think about as I try to disorient that missile was that you were in the direct line of fire of it and I would loose you. It was hard enough to loose you when you left JAG for Dalton, but I knew you were safe there. You would always be around, but I could so easily loose you in some mission for the CIA and I won't be there to save you." Harm gulped down the tears that were fighting to come to the surface.
Mac's heart softened as she looked at Harm. "I'm not leaving you, Harm, I'm leaving JAG, and we will work again on investigations just like the old days with Webb. We may even go up against each other in court once in awhile. I'm going to miss seeing your goofy little flyboy grin each day at work, but I gotta do this for myself." She sat down next to him, and took one of his hands. "We can have dinners together and send emails and talk on the phone. You mean too much to me to completely let you go."
There were no more words said between them until he left later that night. They just held each other, and later watched a little TV to enjoy a little time together. Harm knew he had to let her go from JAG, but he knew she would never leave his life.
TBC... (Everyone else's response and maybe a good-bye party.)
Rita Widmer
All important info is in the first part. Enjoy. Thanks to Mac and Lauri for betaing this story.
Spoilers: Impact
************************************************************************
Admiral's Office
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Admiral A.J. Chegwidden sat behind his desk with Mac standing rigidly at attention in front of him. A strange sense of deja vu was coming over both of them. As they stared at each other waiting for him to speak.
"Mac, sit down. I don't really want this to be like last time. This time I want an explanation of why you want to leave her again, and I don't want you to hold anything back. Lets get rid of all regulations, and be completely honest."
"Sir, this time it is not that I'm not happy about being here, or feeling like I'm unwanted. This opportunity is too big for me to want to turn down. It can lead to so many other opportunities that I would not have here. There isn't one person here that doesn't know that Harm will replace you one day as JAG. Some day I will have to leave here, because two high ranking officers don't have a spot. Working for the CIA just means I will leave her sooner then planned. I will get a chance to work with JAG once in awhile just like we work with them at times."
"Mac, if you wanted to move on why not just tell me. I could have looked into other job openings. It might not have been right away, but there could be some positions that would provide you a place that would help you move up. Even some that would allow you to work here part time."
"I know you would, sir. That is not the problem here. I probably could have found something that would have suited me fine, but the CIA is offering me a job that will allow me to use all my abilities for the better good. I may never get recognized for my work, but in a time of a war we need everyone possible that knows a lot about Middle Eastern culture, language, and law should be called upon to help. I'm one of those people, and I could even pass as Middle Eastern if needed."
"I'm not denying that you can't do this job, but do you really want to leave your friends here? Or your job? You could do more work as a judge, and in time you could be leading important cases."
Mac stood up, and went to attention before answering him. "Sir, I have made my mind up. I want this job position. If you have any respect for my opinion, sign the transfer papers."
"Colonel, I won't sign these papers now. Not because I don't respect your opinion, but to give you a chance to rethink this change. Give me a chance to look up other positions if you are so inclined to leave. In 2 weeks, if you want to work for the CIA still then I will sign your papers."
"But Sir!" The anger was peeking through her words. She was really getting tired of having her own ideas be put down by him and Harm just like when Harm was made judge. 'Always someone that is laughing at my choices. Well I'll show him, and everyone else I made the right decision,' Mac thought to herself as stared forward.
"If the CIA wants you that badly they will wait 2 weeks for your decision. Dismissed!"
"Aye, aye sir." Mac left the Admiral's office more determined then ever to leave JAG. *************************************
That night
Mac's Apartment
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mac was looking over files from work that she knew would have to be finished before she left JAG in two weeks. She was not going to leave anything undone that could hinder her leaving. Concentrating hard on her work it took her a moment to here the knock on her door. The pounding got louder as she got closer to the door. She knew who it would be out there, and she was in no hurry to face him. He was her hardest opponent in her want to leave.
Instead of just opening the door, she just commanded him to come in. She was really not ready for this confrontation. The look on his face told her all she needed to know about his reaction. There was no question that he was angered, but if she looked more closely she saw pain and sadness.
"Harm, if you came over here to convince me not to leave don't waste your breath. I'm taking this job offer no matter what anyone says. Even if it means resigning my commission to do so."
He looked down as he rethought his opening statement. He wanted to yell at her, and tell her how stupid her leaving was but he couldn't. She was no longer going to listen to anyone especially him. Somehow he made the trip to the couch before he tried another attack.
"If you don't want to hear why to stay at JAG, at least, convince me why you should leave. The Admiral warned me, you weren't going to listen to common sense after I learned from Webb that you are transferring."
"Listen to common sense?!! Flyboy, if I had more common sense I would have left ages ago. Instead I convinced myself that people wanted me there, and respected me as a lawyer and a person. Coming back from my undercover assignment, I figured out no one really did care. I had my first inkling of this after my TAD trip to the GuadalCanal. when no one welcomed me back, or congratulated me on rescuing over a dozen people's lives. All I got when I received the medal was a sarcastic congratulations from the Admiral. I don't care about the medal or the reception, but people cared more about my leaving then my coming back. You save an Admiral, and you get a DFC, and it is given by the President of the United States at the Rose Garden. I know its not a big deal to you, but it only adds to that big ego of yours. I want to do something more with my life then what I will ever do at JAG. Anyways they'll kick me out of there one day, because Harmon Rabb, Jr. will be the next JAG." Mac took a long breath trying to calm herself down.
Harm fell into the couch after being stunned by Mac's outburst. "Is...is that what you really think of me? I am sorry if I gave you that impression, Mac. I would have hoped you thought a little better of me then that. Sure sometimes I can be selfish, and let my own personal needs win over yours. I tried to be there in the end, and all I could think about as I try to disorient that missile was that you were in the direct line of fire of it and I would loose you. It was hard enough to loose you when you left JAG for Dalton, but I knew you were safe there. You would always be around, but I could so easily loose you in some mission for the CIA and I won't be there to save you." Harm gulped down the tears that were fighting to come to the surface.
Mac's heart softened as she looked at Harm. "I'm not leaving you, Harm, I'm leaving JAG, and we will work again on investigations just like the old days with Webb. We may even go up against each other in court once in awhile. I'm going to miss seeing your goofy little flyboy grin each day at work, but I gotta do this for myself." She sat down next to him, and took one of his hands. "We can have dinners together and send emails and talk on the phone. You mean too much to me to completely let you go."
There were no more words said between them until he left later that night. They just held each other, and later watched a little TV to enjoy a little time together. Harm knew he had to let her go from JAG, but he knew she would never leave his life.
TBC... (Everyone else's response and maybe a good-bye party.)