The final chapter. Also the third chapter. I got sick of writing it, so I ended it rather abruptly.
The Elf bent over the Hobbit. There was a wicked glint in his teeth and his eyes were bared evilly. His dagger glinted in the moonlight. "I'll get you, hobbit, you caused a split end and now you are going to..."
Frodo opened his eyes. "What are you doing, Lobalurs? I've already been tucked in." His eyes as big as turkey platters fell upon the Elf's teeth. "Ooh, pretty! Can I have them?" He grabbed at them.
"NNNOOOOO!!" shrieked Legolas pawing the air in front of him. But the hobbit had wrapped his legs around the Elf's chest and was tugging on the teeth as hard as he could.
"HELFPH! HELFPH!" shouted Legolas. (Well, YOU try pronouncing the 'p' noise with a hobbit hanging onto YOUR teeth.) But as the hobbits had been abandoned to the wild, he was unheard for the moment. Sam and Merry woke up.
"Ooh, fun!" squealed Merry. "Come on, Harvey!"
"Preeeeetyyyy!" squealed Frodo. "Can I pleeeze have them?"
Legolas bit the hobbit's fingers. Frodo screamed and dropped off, and started to cry.
"You made Mr. Frodo cry!" shouted Sam. "Bad bad bad bad!" But Legolas was far and away, screaming at the top of his elf lungs, with Merry hanging off of his cloak.
Then the bad dark things flew overhead and Frodo screamed. Sam jumped up and down, shaking his finger at them.
The rest of the companions were sleeping, when a hurtling wailing thing flew past them, fading into the dark. "Erm, was the witch king destroyed already?" said Aragorn.
"Harumph! That was no bad dark thing, that was an elf!"
"What's the difference?" muttered Gimli.
"He must have been pursued by a terrible nightmare!" said Boromir. "You know what that means?"
"THE HOBBITS ARE AWAKE! AAAAAAHHHH!!" And they soon followed the elf. They soon caught up with the elf. They soon passed the elf. Save Pippin. He noticed that a hobbit was hanging onto Legolas, so he grabbed it and pulled it off of the elf.
Oh yeah, and Gandalf. He fell down a hole, screaming "Harumph!".
Pippin tripped and fell to the ground, with the hobbit on top of him.
"Harvey fell in the hole!" Merry sobbed. "We've gotta save him!" Pippin looked to where the other members had run off and twiched.
"Merry, Harvey isn't real. There is no such thing as a purple, much less six foot tall rabbit."
Merry thought. "Oh."
Saruman's evil orcs came up. "Hey, have you seen Harvey?"
"There is no Harvey!" shouted Merry. "Oh," said the orcs. "I guess we get to eat you, then." The pulled out their forks.
"We are Harvey!" shouted Pippin. "What? You make no sense!" said Merry.
"We are Harvey," continued Pippin shutting Merry up.
"Oh, let's take them to Saruman then." They picked the hobbits up and ran off.
The other members of the fellowship ran screaming through Lorien, prompting Celeborn and Galadriel to send an army after them, led by Haldir. They came to Amon Hen, (Mt. Chicken), and more of Saruman's evil orcs come and kill Boromir. Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli freak out, and in doing so they forget which way the orcs left, so they accidentally follow them.
They come to a hill, and men on horses surround them. They clutch each other and scream like little girls. And then I don't want to write about them anymore, so the men on horses capture them and throw them in the dungeon, and they were never clean again. No big deal.
And Merry and Pippin are taken to Saruman, blah blah blah lived happily ever after, back to Frodo.
Sam was still jumping up and down like the moron he was. The big black dark thing was scared and flew off.
Frodo stopped crying. "Thanks, Laffm!"
Then Frodo discovered that he had dropped the ring down a hole, so they went back to the Shire and lived happily ever after.
The end.
The Elf bent over the Hobbit. There was a wicked glint in his teeth and his eyes were bared evilly. His dagger glinted in the moonlight. "I'll get you, hobbit, you caused a split end and now you are going to..."
Frodo opened his eyes. "What are you doing, Lobalurs? I've already been tucked in." His eyes as big as turkey platters fell upon the Elf's teeth. "Ooh, pretty! Can I have them?" He grabbed at them.
"NNNOOOOO!!" shrieked Legolas pawing the air in front of him. But the hobbit had wrapped his legs around the Elf's chest and was tugging on the teeth as hard as he could.
"HELFPH! HELFPH!" shouted Legolas. (Well, YOU try pronouncing the 'p' noise with a hobbit hanging onto YOUR teeth.) But as the hobbits had been abandoned to the wild, he was unheard for the moment. Sam and Merry woke up.
"Ooh, fun!" squealed Merry. "Come on, Harvey!"
"Preeeeetyyyy!" squealed Frodo. "Can I pleeeze have them?"
Legolas bit the hobbit's fingers. Frodo screamed and dropped off, and started to cry.
"You made Mr. Frodo cry!" shouted Sam. "Bad bad bad bad!" But Legolas was far and away, screaming at the top of his elf lungs, with Merry hanging off of his cloak.
Then the bad dark things flew overhead and Frodo screamed. Sam jumped up and down, shaking his finger at them.
The rest of the companions were sleeping, when a hurtling wailing thing flew past them, fading into the dark. "Erm, was the witch king destroyed already?" said Aragorn.
"Harumph! That was no bad dark thing, that was an elf!"
"What's the difference?" muttered Gimli.
"He must have been pursued by a terrible nightmare!" said Boromir. "You know what that means?"
"THE HOBBITS ARE AWAKE! AAAAAAHHHH!!" And they soon followed the elf. They soon caught up with the elf. They soon passed the elf. Save Pippin. He noticed that a hobbit was hanging onto Legolas, so he grabbed it and pulled it off of the elf.
Oh yeah, and Gandalf. He fell down a hole, screaming "Harumph!".
Pippin tripped and fell to the ground, with the hobbit on top of him.
"Harvey fell in the hole!" Merry sobbed. "We've gotta save him!" Pippin looked to where the other members had run off and twiched.
"Merry, Harvey isn't real. There is no such thing as a purple, much less six foot tall rabbit."
Merry thought. "Oh."
Saruman's evil orcs came up. "Hey, have you seen Harvey?"
"There is no Harvey!" shouted Merry. "Oh," said the orcs. "I guess we get to eat you, then." The pulled out their forks.
"We are Harvey!" shouted Pippin. "What? You make no sense!" said Merry.
"We are Harvey," continued Pippin shutting Merry up.
"Oh, let's take them to Saruman then." They picked the hobbits up and ran off.
The other members of the fellowship ran screaming through Lorien, prompting Celeborn and Galadriel to send an army after them, led by Haldir. They came to Amon Hen, (Mt. Chicken), and more of Saruman's evil orcs come and kill Boromir. Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli freak out, and in doing so they forget which way the orcs left, so they accidentally follow them.
They come to a hill, and men on horses surround them. They clutch each other and scream like little girls. And then I don't want to write about them anymore, so the men on horses capture them and throw them in the dungeon, and they were never clean again. No big deal.
And Merry and Pippin are taken to Saruman, blah blah blah lived happily ever after, back to Frodo.
Sam was still jumping up and down like the moron he was. The big black dark thing was scared and flew off.
Frodo stopped crying. "Thanks, Laffm!"
Then Frodo discovered that he had dropped the ring down a hole, so they went back to the Shire and lived happily ever after.
The end.