Well, I decided that I really liked this story and I am reiviving it. :)
Frodo Baggins was skipping cheerily towards his home, and singing.
"La de da de da, la la la de da de doo, la, um, la, uh," and then he started crying. A familiar fellow with no talent came up.
"Why are you crying? Whoever made you cry is bad bad bad bad!" he shouted.
"I can't remember the words, Mas!" sobbed Frodo.
"I'll teach you a new song!" said Sam grinning like a lunatic.
"Can you bake a tater pie, silly boy silly boy,
Can you bake a tater pie, silly nilly?
I can bake a tater pie
Fast as you can swat a fly
I'm a wet thing and cannot eat a dryer.
Do you like it? I made it up myself!" said Sam. Frodo laughed.
"Funny!" he said clapping his hands. "Let's go tell Unkle Phumbo! Where is he?"
Sam thought for many moments. "Rivendell!" he shouted. Frodo jumped. "Don't yell!" he sobbed.
"I'm sorry!" said Sam, his grin fading. "I'm bad bad bad bad!" and with each 'bad' he hit himself on the head.
"Doesn't that hurt?" Frodo hiccuped.
"No, I don't feel it!" said Sam his grin returning. "Are we going to Rivendell, then?"
"Yup!" said Frodo. "And guess what Sas, we're going to sing Flandalp's favorite song!"
"Yay!" grinned Sam. And with that, the two hobbits joined hand in hand and skipped off, if they did miss a few steps.
"Harumph harumph harumph harumph!" they sang gaily. "Hey," said Sam suddenly. "Isn't this where those bad bad bad bad things scared you?" Frodo thought for a moment and then started crying. "They were mean!" he sobbed clinging to Sam's arm. "You won't let them near me will you?"
"No!" said Sam grinning. "I'll scare 'em off! I'll distract 'em! I'll say, hey you bad bad bad bad thing! Why did the chicken cross the road? And then while he's thinking, you sneak off and I'll yell 'Boo!' And then he'll run away! Isn't that smart of me?"
"Wow, yes!" said Frodo. "I'll make a song about it!
San is a smart fellow
his liver is lily and his back is yellow
will he like me and give me his marshmallow?
And he eats candle tallow!
He won't give me my pillow!
Woah woah woah!
Harumph harumph harumph!
And, yeah. Do you like it Salm?"
"I like it!" shouted Sam. "Let's tell it to Bilbo at Rivendell!"
"Yeah!" said Frodo. "Iddle Phorbo will love it! But he'll like mine better."
"No he won't! Mine's the best!" said Sam his grin fading.
"He's my onkle!" said Frodo his lower lip quivering and tears forming in his horrendously sized eyes. Sam started bawling. Frodo sobbed. They sat down by the side of the road for a while, and then hugged each other.
"I'm sorry!" they both wailed. Then the bad dark things returned once again, and the hobbits ran to the ferry.
"Hey!" shouted Sam. "Why did the pizza cross the road?"
"Um, we don't know," they said.
"Boo!" said Sam. The bad dark things screamed and ran off.
"It worked!" cried Frodo in glee. They grinned at each other for an hour or two before they finally figured how to work the raft and they got off on the other side.
"My pants are still wet!" said Sam looking at them. "This water sure is wet!"
"Yeah, my pants are even wet!" said Frodo. They grinned off and skipped off to Bree. It was dark, and they reached the gate and knocked.
"Wobbley dee, hobbits are that thee?" said a head.
Frodo giggled. "Hello, head! Hoobahley bee!"
"Floobaley gee!" said Sam.
"Come on inee!" said the head opening the gate. The hobbits waved and walked to the Prancing Pony. With no Pippin to stop them, they stared at the sign for several hours before they went inside.
"We want a room!" said Frodo. "A big room, with a teddy bear, and a window, and, and, and a door!"
"And a rug, and a bed, and food!" said Sam grinning.
"Haven't I seen you before?" said Barliman.
"Have we seen us before?" said Frodo to Sam.
"Have us seen we before?" said Sam thoughtfully. "Do we get the food?"
"Can I have your topiary?" said Frodo, though he didn't know what it was.
"You can have a seat," said Barliman.
"Wow, really? Really and truly and really and truly? And truly and really even?" gushed Frodo.
They were sitting down and eating cheese. And throwing it around. Like juveniles. And infantiles, even. Yergh.
"Maybe," said Sam. "Maybe Strider will appear in that corner if we look hard enough." They stared hard into the corner where Strider had sat just a short eight days ago.
"Nope," said Frodo sadly. "I wonder If Labalos will come here soon?" he looked around. "Remember his pretty shiny hair?" He clapped for the memory.
But Aragorn was stuck in the dungeon of the Rohirrim with an elf and a dwarf who were threatening to eat each other for the stress.
"Hey, what do you want to be when you grow up?" said Gimli to Aragorn. Who then screamed and for the millionth time tried to climb the walls to get away from them.
"My hair is ruined," said Legolas gazing at it glumly. "It's all that stupid hobbit's fault." His eyes burned with memory. A crunching sound came from Gimli's direction. Aragorn and Leggy looked to see Gimli chewing something.
"What're you eating?" demanded Aragorn.
"Rocks," replied Gimli.
"That's it!" cried the man. "Gimli will eat our way out!"
"Hurry up, shorty," said Legs. "We haven't much time!"
Frodo Baggins was skipping cheerily towards his home, and singing.
"La de da de da, la la la de da de doo, la, um, la, uh," and then he started crying. A familiar fellow with no talent came up.
"Why are you crying? Whoever made you cry is bad bad bad bad!" he shouted.
"I can't remember the words, Mas!" sobbed Frodo.
"I'll teach you a new song!" said Sam grinning like a lunatic.
"Can you bake a tater pie, silly boy silly boy,
Can you bake a tater pie, silly nilly?
I can bake a tater pie
Fast as you can swat a fly
I'm a wet thing and cannot eat a dryer.
Do you like it? I made it up myself!" said Sam. Frodo laughed.
"Funny!" he said clapping his hands. "Let's go tell Unkle Phumbo! Where is he?"
Sam thought for many moments. "Rivendell!" he shouted. Frodo jumped. "Don't yell!" he sobbed.
"I'm sorry!" said Sam, his grin fading. "I'm bad bad bad bad!" and with each 'bad' he hit himself on the head.
"Doesn't that hurt?" Frodo hiccuped.
"No, I don't feel it!" said Sam his grin returning. "Are we going to Rivendell, then?"
"Yup!" said Frodo. "And guess what Sas, we're going to sing Flandalp's favorite song!"
"Yay!" grinned Sam. And with that, the two hobbits joined hand in hand and skipped off, if they did miss a few steps.
"Harumph harumph harumph harumph!" they sang gaily. "Hey," said Sam suddenly. "Isn't this where those bad bad bad bad things scared you?" Frodo thought for a moment and then started crying. "They were mean!" he sobbed clinging to Sam's arm. "You won't let them near me will you?"
"No!" said Sam grinning. "I'll scare 'em off! I'll distract 'em! I'll say, hey you bad bad bad bad thing! Why did the chicken cross the road? And then while he's thinking, you sneak off and I'll yell 'Boo!' And then he'll run away! Isn't that smart of me?"
"Wow, yes!" said Frodo. "I'll make a song about it!
San is a smart fellow
his liver is lily and his back is yellow
will he like me and give me his marshmallow?
And he eats candle tallow!
He won't give me my pillow!
Woah woah woah!
Harumph harumph harumph!
And, yeah. Do you like it Salm?"
"I like it!" shouted Sam. "Let's tell it to Bilbo at Rivendell!"
"Yeah!" said Frodo. "Iddle Phorbo will love it! But he'll like mine better."
"No he won't! Mine's the best!" said Sam his grin fading.
"He's my onkle!" said Frodo his lower lip quivering and tears forming in his horrendously sized eyes. Sam started bawling. Frodo sobbed. They sat down by the side of the road for a while, and then hugged each other.
"I'm sorry!" they both wailed. Then the bad dark things returned once again, and the hobbits ran to the ferry.
"Hey!" shouted Sam. "Why did the pizza cross the road?"
"Um, we don't know," they said.
"Boo!" said Sam. The bad dark things screamed and ran off.
"It worked!" cried Frodo in glee. They grinned at each other for an hour or two before they finally figured how to work the raft and they got off on the other side.
"My pants are still wet!" said Sam looking at them. "This water sure is wet!"
"Yeah, my pants are even wet!" said Frodo. They grinned off and skipped off to Bree. It was dark, and they reached the gate and knocked.
"Wobbley dee, hobbits are that thee?" said a head.
Frodo giggled. "Hello, head! Hoobahley bee!"
"Floobaley gee!" said Sam.
"Come on inee!" said the head opening the gate. The hobbits waved and walked to the Prancing Pony. With no Pippin to stop them, they stared at the sign for several hours before they went inside.
"We want a room!" said Frodo. "A big room, with a teddy bear, and a window, and, and, and a door!"
"And a rug, and a bed, and food!" said Sam grinning.
"Haven't I seen you before?" said Barliman.
"Have we seen us before?" said Frodo to Sam.
"Have us seen we before?" said Sam thoughtfully. "Do we get the food?"
"Can I have your topiary?" said Frodo, though he didn't know what it was.
"You can have a seat," said Barliman.
"Wow, really? Really and truly and really and truly? And truly and really even?" gushed Frodo.
They were sitting down and eating cheese. And throwing it around. Like juveniles. And infantiles, even. Yergh.
"Maybe," said Sam. "Maybe Strider will appear in that corner if we look hard enough." They stared hard into the corner where Strider had sat just a short eight days ago.
"Nope," said Frodo sadly. "I wonder If Labalos will come here soon?" he looked around. "Remember his pretty shiny hair?" He clapped for the memory.
But Aragorn was stuck in the dungeon of the Rohirrim with an elf and a dwarf who were threatening to eat each other for the stress.
"Hey, what do you want to be when you grow up?" said Gimli to Aragorn. Who then screamed and for the millionth time tried to climb the walls to get away from them.
"My hair is ruined," said Legolas gazing at it glumly. "It's all that stupid hobbit's fault." His eyes burned with memory. A crunching sound came from Gimli's direction. Aragorn and Leggy looked to see Gimli chewing something.
"What're you eating?" demanded Aragorn.
"Rocks," replied Gimli.
"That's it!" cried the man. "Gimli will eat our way out!"
"Hurry up, shorty," said Legs. "We haven't much time!"