"I'm eating as fast as I can!" groaned Gimli.
"Well it's not fast enough!" said Leggy.
"The guard's coming back!" said Aragorn, just as Gimli said "We're out!"
"Quick, Leggy, distract him!" hissed the man.
"What am I supposed to do?" spluttered the elf.
"I don't know, think of something!" And with that, the man slipped out the hole.
The guard knocked. "Everything alright in there?"
"Uh, yeah!" shouted the elf.
"And the man?"
"Uh, yeah," said Leggy in a bit deeper voice.
"And the dwarf?"
Leggy gritted his teeth tried to sound deep and gravelly but all that came out was a squeak. The guard poked his head in the door, but Leggy stood in front of him to block his view.
"Hey, do I feel a draft?"
"No, no no no," said the elf. "It's the dwarf breathing in the dark, y'know."
"Uh. Tell him that we could shoot him in the dark, and he wouldn't even know it!" The guard left, and Leggy crept out the hole.
"How're we going to hide it?" he said looking at the hole.
Gimli replied by barfing and blocking it.
"EEW!" chorused Aragorn and Leggy.
"It's a good thing you came out when you did, he would have exploded!" said Aragorn greenly.
"Oh, I always get sick when I eat too many rocks," said the dwarf.
"Always? Too many?" said the elf in disbelief.
"Yes, it's a staple of the dwarvish diet! It puts hair on your face!" He made a muscle. "Not to mention making you hunky! Go me, whoo!" He did a little muscle dance, and he was always kept about ten feet from his companions from then on.
"Chunky," muttered Leggy.
"That's how I like 'em! Mom's chunky gravel soup, mm mm, she made the best!" Gimli rubbed his stomach, and from then on he was kept fifteen feet from his companions.
"How do your teeth stand the strain?" wondered Aragorn.
"Teeth?" said the dwarf with a blank look on his face.
"Let's get on," said Aragorn quickly, "Or we'll be discovered." He and the elf jogged ahead while the dwarf plodded behind them.
"Hey, look what I found! Granite, my favorite!" The man and the elf started running flat out, and Gimli had quite a time to even keep them in sight. (It's hard to eat and run, too.)
Frodo was still jabbering about Leggy's hair. "...And it was soft, and smooth, and shiny, and pretty, I wish Larbaloff was here," he sniffed. Sam grinned. "Maybe he'll be here soon!" Behind them, the doors suddenly burst open and there was a shout.
"Eglovas!" shouted Fro.
"Strider!" shouted Sam.
"Sam!" shouted Merry.
"Fro!" shouted Pippin.
"Merry, Pippin!" shouted Sam.
"Mippin, Perry!" shouted Fro.
"Shut up!" shouted Saruman waving his evil arms about.
"Where? Did he come too?" said Fro looking eagerly around.
Sam looked too. "There he is!" he said pointing at some random man.
"I am taking this inn as my prisoner!" shouted Saruman summoning his evil orcs with the wave of an evil hand. "You are all my hostages!"
"Ooh, do we get pies?" said Fro.
"Blueberry?" said Sam grinning.
"You can't eat blueberry pies, Sam, you stain your clothes!" said Pippin exasperatedly.
"Harv-I mean us will eat the pies! I eat neat! Hey, that rhymes. Hee hee, I eat peat meat real neat!" Merry giggled.
"Shut up!" said Saruman.
"Where?" said Fro.
"What?" said Sam who had fallen asleep.
"Who?" said Merry who had not been listening but trying to think of more rhymes.
"When?" said Pippin. "As in, when do we leave?"
Saruman tore at his evil beard with his evil hands.
"Well it's not fast enough!" said Leggy.
"The guard's coming back!" said Aragorn, just as Gimli said "We're out!"
"Quick, Leggy, distract him!" hissed the man.
"What am I supposed to do?" spluttered the elf.
"I don't know, think of something!" And with that, the man slipped out the hole.
The guard knocked. "Everything alright in there?"
"Uh, yeah!" shouted the elf.
"And the man?"
"Uh, yeah," said Leggy in a bit deeper voice.
"And the dwarf?"
Leggy gritted his teeth tried to sound deep and gravelly but all that came out was a squeak. The guard poked his head in the door, but Leggy stood in front of him to block his view.
"Hey, do I feel a draft?"
"No, no no no," said the elf. "It's the dwarf breathing in the dark, y'know."
"Uh. Tell him that we could shoot him in the dark, and he wouldn't even know it!" The guard left, and Leggy crept out the hole.
"How're we going to hide it?" he said looking at the hole.
Gimli replied by barfing and blocking it.
"EEW!" chorused Aragorn and Leggy.
"It's a good thing you came out when you did, he would have exploded!" said Aragorn greenly.
"Oh, I always get sick when I eat too many rocks," said the dwarf.
"Always? Too many?" said the elf in disbelief.
"Yes, it's a staple of the dwarvish diet! It puts hair on your face!" He made a muscle. "Not to mention making you hunky! Go me, whoo!" He did a little muscle dance, and he was always kept about ten feet from his companions from then on.
"Chunky," muttered Leggy.
"That's how I like 'em! Mom's chunky gravel soup, mm mm, she made the best!" Gimli rubbed his stomach, and from then on he was kept fifteen feet from his companions.
"How do your teeth stand the strain?" wondered Aragorn.
"Teeth?" said the dwarf with a blank look on his face.
"Let's get on," said Aragorn quickly, "Or we'll be discovered." He and the elf jogged ahead while the dwarf plodded behind them.
"Hey, look what I found! Granite, my favorite!" The man and the elf started running flat out, and Gimli had quite a time to even keep them in sight. (It's hard to eat and run, too.)
Frodo was still jabbering about Leggy's hair. "...And it was soft, and smooth, and shiny, and pretty, I wish Larbaloff was here," he sniffed. Sam grinned. "Maybe he'll be here soon!" Behind them, the doors suddenly burst open and there was a shout.
"Eglovas!" shouted Fro.
"Strider!" shouted Sam.
"Sam!" shouted Merry.
"Fro!" shouted Pippin.
"Merry, Pippin!" shouted Sam.
"Mippin, Perry!" shouted Fro.
"Shut up!" shouted Saruman waving his evil arms about.
"Where? Did he come too?" said Fro looking eagerly around.
Sam looked too. "There he is!" he said pointing at some random man.
"I am taking this inn as my prisoner!" shouted Saruman summoning his evil orcs with the wave of an evil hand. "You are all my hostages!"
"Ooh, do we get pies?" said Fro.
"Blueberry?" said Sam grinning.
"You can't eat blueberry pies, Sam, you stain your clothes!" said Pippin exasperatedly.
"Harv-I mean us will eat the pies! I eat neat! Hey, that rhymes. Hee hee, I eat peat meat real neat!" Merry giggled.
"Shut up!" said Saruman.
"Where?" said Fro.
"What?" said Sam who had fallen asleep.
"Who?" said Merry who had not been listening but trying to think of more rhymes.
"When?" said Pippin. "As in, when do we leave?"
Saruman tore at his evil beard with his evil hands.