Well, here I go again.
Wingtontummy, 'distorted' is a perfectly applicable word. :)
Gandalf, Aragorn, Gimli and Pippin staggered into Rivendell.
"Hello!" cried Elrond twirling a hula hoop. "Did you come back for the pies?"
"Ooh, is that bridge made of granite?" said Gimli.
"There are hobbits, back the road, they've got Legolas!" gasped Gandalf.
"I'll send a troop of elves to save him!" cried Elrond jumping rope.
"According to my calculations, you'll need more than twenty to make a difference! You haven't seen what Frodo can do!" said Pippin. "He's dangerous!"
So, twenty one elves trooped off. Elrond took Aragorn aside.
"So," he said still skipping. "Arwen's back from the havens."
"She left?" said Aragorn. Elrond tripped on his robe and got back up again.
"Don't be surprised if she's changed a bit."
"When was the last time I was surprised?"
"Agate!" screamed Gimli.
"ARGH!" shouted Aragorn jumping four feet in the air.
"Two seconds ago," said Elrond starting to play hackysack.
"Daddy," whined Arwen coming up.
"Tell your fiance what you did," said Elrond sternly. Well, as sternly as he could without dropping his ball.
"I didn't do anything!" she whined.
"She got her tongue pierced!" said Elrond trying to twirl a hula hoop on his head.
"Well, it was buy two get one free, so I got six," she whined again. Elrond and Aragorn gasped. Elrond dropped his ball, his hula hoop, screamed like a girl and fainted. Aragorn stared dumbly.
"I don't want to know," he whispered before fainting dead away. Arwen shrugged and walked off.
Just at that moment, the elven troupe came back. Staggering.
"Run," wheezed one, "They are coming," this before he passed out. But, he didn't notice that no one was there to listen. He might have noticed that the only two people there were laid flat on the floor, but you must understand that they had suffered horribly at the hands of Frodo.
~*~*~*~*~flashback~*~*~*~*~*~
"Ovlabos, I just love your hair! It's so pretty and shiny!" said Frodo stroking it.
"NOOO!!" screamed Leggy.
"Look!" cried Sam pointing down the road. Frodo looked up and his eyes as big as hubcaps widened impossibly large. For there coming down the road were more than three (neither Fro or Sam can count higher) elves, all with very shiny hair and shinier armor. (Also, Leggy had fainted from shock, heh heh.)
"Ooohhh!" said Frodo. "Pretty pretty pretty!" He left Leggy and toddled towards the troupe with his arms outstretched.
"What's the big deal?" said the head elf to his aide. "It's so small!" He got ready to swoop him up, but the hobbit had latched onto his leg.
"Pretty armor!" he said petting it. "Can I have it?"
"Uh, no," he said. "Now little halfling, you are coming with me!"
Frodo grinned up at him. "My name's Roffdo, what's yours?"
"Er, Erestor," said the elf trying to untwine the hobbit's fingers from his leg.
"Ooh, where are we going?" said Fro.
"Are there pies?" said Sam grinning.
"Ooh, Sroam! Sing that song! Dsoreror will love it! I know you will!" he again turned his appallingly sized eyes upwards towards the elf's face.
"Why did the tree cross the road?" said Sam.
"I know I know! Boo!" shouted Frodo gleefully.
"ARGH!" shouted a good many of the elves fleeing for their lives back towards Rivendell.
Fro and Sam were giggling and grinning for all they were worth.
"Where are we going, Staroaree?" said Fro again.
"We are going to Rivendell," said Erestor.
"Oooooooooh!" said the hobbits, visibly impressed, though doubtless because of the length and complexity of the name that was just spewed forth from the lips of the very tall and shiny elf in front of them.
Wingtontummy, 'distorted' is a perfectly applicable word. :)
Gandalf, Aragorn, Gimli and Pippin staggered into Rivendell.
"Hello!" cried Elrond twirling a hula hoop. "Did you come back for the pies?"
"Ooh, is that bridge made of granite?" said Gimli.
"There are hobbits, back the road, they've got Legolas!" gasped Gandalf.
"I'll send a troop of elves to save him!" cried Elrond jumping rope.
"According to my calculations, you'll need more than twenty to make a difference! You haven't seen what Frodo can do!" said Pippin. "He's dangerous!"
So, twenty one elves trooped off. Elrond took Aragorn aside.
"So," he said still skipping. "Arwen's back from the havens."
"She left?" said Aragorn. Elrond tripped on his robe and got back up again.
"Don't be surprised if she's changed a bit."
"When was the last time I was surprised?"
"Agate!" screamed Gimli.
"ARGH!" shouted Aragorn jumping four feet in the air.
"Two seconds ago," said Elrond starting to play hackysack.
"Daddy," whined Arwen coming up.
"Tell your fiance what you did," said Elrond sternly. Well, as sternly as he could without dropping his ball.
"I didn't do anything!" she whined.
"She got her tongue pierced!" said Elrond trying to twirl a hula hoop on his head.
"Well, it was buy two get one free, so I got six," she whined again. Elrond and Aragorn gasped. Elrond dropped his ball, his hula hoop, screamed like a girl and fainted. Aragorn stared dumbly.
"I don't want to know," he whispered before fainting dead away. Arwen shrugged and walked off.
Just at that moment, the elven troupe came back. Staggering.
"Run," wheezed one, "They are coming," this before he passed out. But, he didn't notice that no one was there to listen. He might have noticed that the only two people there were laid flat on the floor, but you must understand that they had suffered horribly at the hands of Frodo.
~*~*~*~*~flashback~*~*~*~*~*~
"Ovlabos, I just love your hair! It's so pretty and shiny!" said Frodo stroking it.
"NOOO!!" screamed Leggy.
"Look!" cried Sam pointing down the road. Frodo looked up and his eyes as big as hubcaps widened impossibly large. For there coming down the road were more than three (neither Fro or Sam can count higher) elves, all with very shiny hair and shinier armor. (Also, Leggy had fainted from shock, heh heh.)
"Ooohhh!" said Frodo. "Pretty pretty pretty!" He left Leggy and toddled towards the troupe with his arms outstretched.
"What's the big deal?" said the head elf to his aide. "It's so small!" He got ready to swoop him up, but the hobbit had latched onto his leg.
"Pretty armor!" he said petting it. "Can I have it?"
"Uh, no," he said. "Now little halfling, you are coming with me!"
Frodo grinned up at him. "My name's Roffdo, what's yours?"
"Er, Erestor," said the elf trying to untwine the hobbit's fingers from his leg.
"Ooh, where are we going?" said Fro.
"Are there pies?" said Sam grinning.
"Ooh, Sroam! Sing that song! Dsoreror will love it! I know you will!" he again turned his appallingly sized eyes upwards towards the elf's face.
"Why did the tree cross the road?" said Sam.
"I know I know! Boo!" shouted Frodo gleefully.
"ARGH!" shouted a good many of the elves fleeing for their lives back towards Rivendell.
Fro and Sam were giggling and grinning for all they were worth.
"Where are we going, Staroaree?" said Fro again.
"We are going to Rivendell," said Erestor.
"Oooooooooh!" said the hobbits, visibly impressed, though doubtless because of the length and complexity of the name that was just spewed forth from the lips of the very tall and shiny elf in front of them.