It was now a couple days later, and everyone was busy working at their
desks, trying to put the past couple days behind them for the time being.
Andy sighed and looked over at Jr.'s empty desk. After the funeral, Jr.
mostly kept to himself, and whenever Andy, Rita, or anyone else from the
squad tried to talk to him, he would barely say anything and solemnly walk
off to be by himself. Andy knew he needed time; it was hard to let go of
someone close. Especially a father.
"Hey everyone!" Jr. said walking in.
"John? What are you doing back so soon?" Andy said, getting up from his desk.
"Well, it's kind of pointless to sit at home isn't it, Andy? It can make someone crazy."
"Are you sure you're up to working today?" Rodriguez asked him.
"Oh yeah, a brand new attitude!"
Everyone silently looked at each other, knowing full well that he was just trying to bury his feelings in his work. Andy knew most of all. Each time he had lost someone, he immediately went back to work, trying to bury his feelings the same way, but each time they would come exploding out of him when he least expected it. He just didn't want that to happen to Jr. He was too young, with his whole life ahead of him. He didn't want him to go tumbling into an uncontrollable emotional roller coaster. He needed to talk to someone. He just hoped that Jr. would let him talk to him later, so he could help him before it was too late.
Jr. noticed the silence of everyone and sighed. "Look guys, I know this is kind of soon, but seriously, I feel fine. Please just act normal to me, okay?"
Connie nodded. "Sure thing. Welcome back."
"Yeah, we're glad to have you with us again, John," Baldwin agreed.
"We certainly missed you, detective," gay John stated.
Rita however, responded by looking at him and walking to another room. She knew he wasn't telling the truth and she hated it when he wouldn't share his feelings with her.
Jr. noticed, but quickly smiled. "Thanks everyone. Uh, will you excuse me for a moment?"
He then walked back to where Rita was and closed the door behind him. "Hey, what was that all about?"
"Oh, so what, you're going to talk to me now?" Rita replied.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you're putting on an act, John! I mean, you are not okay. You don't have a brand new attitude; you're just hiding the one you already have. Burying your feelings in your work isn't going to help you. It's going to make the pressure build up inside of you and that isn't healthy!"
"You know what, I don't need a therapist right now, Rita!"
"Yes, you do! You need to talk to someone about this! It's eating you up inside. And I won't feel right with you anymore with you putting on this act. I don't want to be with a fake John, I want to be with YOU, the real John."
"Well, I'm sorry you see me like that."
"Well it's true. I'm sorry that this happened to you and I want to help you, but you won't let me! You won't let anyone! You're shutting everyone who cares about you out. Now you don't have to talk to me if you don't want to, just get some help from someone you know can help you deal with this. Don't let this destroy you!"
"Look, I don't WANT to talk to anyone! I'm fine. And obviously I thought I could count on you but I guess not."
"You're right. You can't count on me. But not with that attitude. Call me when you get a new one."
With that, she walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Jr. stood there silently for a few minutes, took a deep breath and walked out the room, where Andy greeted him.
"Uh, we got a DOA on West 10th. You up for it?"
Jr. nodded. "Yup."
"You okay?"
"Never better."
Jr. put on his coat and grabbed a radio, heading out the door. Andy looked over at Rita and saw her tensely watch him leave. Andy sighed, and then slowly followed him out, leaving a mental note to talk to him later about this. **
When they arrived at the scene, the place was already flooded. Andy and Jr. made their way to the body and got the attention of a uniform.
"Detectives Clark and Sipowitz," Jr. said. "What have we got?"
"A John Doe. Approximately fifty to sixty years of age. Witnesses say that he was mugged, but we have one who saw exactly what happened. That homeless guy over there."
Andy and Jr. approached him and had to stay back a little from the way he smelled.
"Detectives Sipowitz and Clark. Can you tell us what happened?" Andy asked.
"Yeah, I'm sittin' here trying to scrub up some grub from out of the trash can, when all of a sudden I hear this guy scream. I turn around and see this big black dude come up on this old guy with a gun telling him to give him his wallet and jewelry. Then the old guy does and the black guy shoots him anyway! Then I hid behind the dumpster and the black guy ran away. That's all I saw."
"Allright, we're gonna need you to come down to the station with us and see if you can pick out his picture," Jr. said.
"Fine. Sure. But what do I get in return?"
"A hot shower and a hot meal," Andy replied.
The guy nodded. "Deal."
Jr. then walked back to the body to do his usual searching for any clues. He quickly pulled back the yellow tarp but instead of seeing this guy, his dad's vision came in to view. Jr. blinked, but still saw his dad, with blood oozing out from his head.
"John? What's wrong?" Andy said, noticing how sick he looked.
"Uh, nothing, I uh..."
He didn't get a chance to finish for when suddenly, everything became blurry and he felt the ground come upon him. He struggled to focus, as he heard Andy shouting his name and running over to him. He opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't form any words. He then slowly closed his eyes. The darkness won.
TBC....
"Hey everyone!" Jr. said walking in.
"John? What are you doing back so soon?" Andy said, getting up from his desk.
"Well, it's kind of pointless to sit at home isn't it, Andy? It can make someone crazy."
"Are you sure you're up to working today?" Rodriguez asked him.
"Oh yeah, a brand new attitude!"
Everyone silently looked at each other, knowing full well that he was just trying to bury his feelings in his work. Andy knew most of all. Each time he had lost someone, he immediately went back to work, trying to bury his feelings the same way, but each time they would come exploding out of him when he least expected it. He just didn't want that to happen to Jr. He was too young, with his whole life ahead of him. He didn't want him to go tumbling into an uncontrollable emotional roller coaster. He needed to talk to someone. He just hoped that Jr. would let him talk to him later, so he could help him before it was too late.
Jr. noticed the silence of everyone and sighed. "Look guys, I know this is kind of soon, but seriously, I feel fine. Please just act normal to me, okay?"
Connie nodded. "Sure thing. Welcome back."
"Yeah, we're glad to have you with us again, John," Baldwin agreed.
"We certainly missed you, detective," gay John stated.
Rita however, responded by looking at him and walking to another room. She knew he wasn't telling the truth and she hated it when he wouldn't share his feelings with her.
Jr. noticed, but quickly smiled. "Thanks everyone. Uh, will you excuse me for a moment?"
He then walked back to where Rita was and closed the door behind him. "Hey, what was that all about?"
"Oh, so what, you're going to talk to me now?" Rita replied.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that you're putting on an act, John! I mean, you are not okay. You don't have a brand new attitude; you're just hiding the one you already have. Burying your feelings in your work isn't going to help you. It's going to make the pressure build up inside of you and that isn't healthy!"
"You know what, I don't need a therapist right now, Rita!"
"Yes, you do! You need to talk to someone about this! It's eating you up inside. And I won't feel right with you anymore with you putting on this act. I don't want to be with a fake John, I want to be with YOU, the real John."
"Well, I'm sorry you see me like that."
"Well it's true. I'm sorry that this happened to you and I want to help you, but you won't let me! You won't let anyone! You're shutting everyone who cares about you out. Now you don't have to talk to me if you don't want to, just get some help from someone you know can help you deal with this. Don't let this destroy you!"
"Look, I don't WANT to talk to anyone! I'm fine. And obviously I thought I could count on you but I guess not."
"You're right. You can't count on me. But not with that attitude. Call me when you get a new one."
With that, she walked out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Jr. stood there silently for a few minutes, took a deep breath and walked out the room, where Andy greeted him.
"Uh, we got a DOA on West 10th. You up for it?"
Jr. nodded. "Yup."
"You okay?"
"Never better."
Jr. put on his coat and grabbed a radio, heading out the door. Andy looked over at Rita and saw her tensely watch him leave. Andy sighed, and then slowly followed him out, leaving a mental note to talk to him later about this. **
When they arrived at the scene, the place was already flooded. Andy and Jr. made their way to the body and got the attention of a uniform.
"Detectives Clark and Sipowitz," Jr. said. "What have we got?"
"A John Doe. Approximately fifty to sixty years of age. Witnesses say that he was mugged, but we have one who saw exactly what happened. That homeless guy over there."
Andy and Jr. approached him and had to stay back a little from the way he smelled.
"Detectives Sipowitz and Clark. Can you tell us what happened?" Andy asked.
"Yeah, I'm sittin' here trying to scrub up some grub from out of the trash can, when all of a sudden I hear this guy scream. I turn around and see this big black dude come up on this old guy with a gun telling him to give him his wallet and jewelry. Then the old guy does and the black guy shoots him anyway! Then I hid behind the dumpster and the black guy ran away. That's all I saw."
"Allright, we're gonna need you to come down to the station with us and see if you can pick out his picture," Jr. said.
"Fine. Sure. But what do I get in return?"
"A hot shower and a hot meal," Andy replied.
The guy nodded. "Deal."
Jr. then walked back to the body to do his usual searching for any clues. He quickly pulled back the yellow tarp but instead of seeing this guy, his dad's vision came in to view. Jr. blinked, but still saw his dad, with blood oozing out from his head.
"John? What's wrong?" Andy said, noticing how sick he looked.
"Uh, nothing, I uh..."
He didn't get a chance to finish for when suddenly, everything became blurry and he felt the ground come upon him. He struggled to focus, as he heard Andy shouting his name and running over to him. He opened his mouth to say something, but couldn't form any words. He then slowly closed his eyes. The darkness won.
TBC....