If Harry thought the summer before was bad, this summer was beyond terrible. He couldn't believe that Ron could do something like that, couldn't believe that at this time two years ago he had two best friends who had been through everything with him, and now he had none. The Dursleys seemed to have adopted that policy of pretending Harry wasn't there, and Harry found this made the pain worse. Sirius was no closer to being proven innocent, and so could not be of much help to Harry, even though he did come from wherever he was working against Voldemort to attend Ron's funeral and supported Harry as much as he could through letters.
Draco was Harry's biggest comfort. He and Harry wrote to each other all the time. Harry didn't sign his letters and only used initials when talking about people in case the letters were found by Draco's family, even though Draco swore that no one who didn't know where they were could find them. By now he had no secrets from Draco, and Harry couldn't imagine a life without him.
This time, Harry frankly dreaded going back to school.
"I can't do it" he confided to Draco in a letter. "I can't go back and be on my own."
"You'll be fine" Draco wrote back. "There are all the other Gryffindors, and you can rely on me."
When Uncle Vernon left him at the station to catch the train for his seventh year at Hogwarts Harry stared around, thinking how things had changed since the last time Uncle Vernon had dropped him at the station, six years ago. Then he had never met Ron and Hermione, never known he had a godfather, never dreamed that the snooty boy he had met and disliked in Madame Malkin's would come to be the most important person in his world.
Drawing on all his depths of courage, Harry went onto the platform and pushed his trolley up to the prefects carriage. He lugged his trunk into it, and arranged Hedwig's cage carefully on the luggage rack, chatting happily to Padma Patil, who was already in there.
The journey passed much more quickly than Harry had expected, and in a strange way was much less painful than the year before. He and Draco had actually arranged a time to meet up, which made the whole trip considerably more bearable, as did being in the prefects carriage which was full of people Harry knew and liked. However, when he walked into the Gryffindor common room after the feast and looked at the armchairs where the three of them had always sat, Harry felt such a sense of loss he thought he would never be complete again. Walking up the stairs to his dormitory and looking at Ron's empty bed brought back memories of the night after his death, the feeling of shock and confusion that had filled the room. He saw Neville glance at the bed uneasily and knew he was thinking the same.
"Shall we go downstairs?" he asked Harry gently. "Probably best to keep out of here for a while." Harry nodded quietly and the two headed back to the Common room. Neville kept up an easy flow of chatter as they sat by the fire, waiting for Seamus and Dean to finish saying goodnight to their respective girlfriends and be ready for bed. Neville had changed a lot since first year mused Harry. He had grown considerably and had slimmed down somewhat. His aura of nervous fear had lessened, and he now seemed more confident, but overall he projected kindness. Harry vaguely wondered how he did it.
"Can I sit with you?" a voice asked. Harry looked up and saw Ginny.
"Course you can" said Harry, blushing slightly.
"How was your summer?" asked Neville. "Apart from, you know, I mean.." he floundered slightly.
"Strange. The twins have moved out, so there were fewer explosions." she answered, carefully avoiding the subject of Ron.
"I'm sorry I couldn't be more help at the funeral." said Harry, abandoning all attempts at tact.
"My uncle wouldn't let me stay any longer than was strictly necessary."
"It's OK." said Ginny softly. "I know what the Dursleys are like."
"Yes." agreed Neville solemnly, though Harry suspected he didn't know what the Dursleys were like at all and was simply agreeing to delay the awkward pause which now fell.
The pause was broken by the portrait hole swinging open and Dean climbing in.
"Seamus not here yet?" he asked, almost as if they had made an agreement not to go to bed until they were all there. "I hope he hurries up - I'm shattered!" He flopped down into an armchair and smoothed his ruffled hair.
"Hi Ginny" he said. "You OK?"
"Just tired" said Ginny. "Sleep's been a bit hard to come by recently."
"Yeah, well" said Dean. "Not really surprising." He smothered a yawn.
"You take care of yourself though" he said cheerfully. "If you still can't sleep here, you could go to Madame Pomfrey. She might give you sleeping pills or something." Ginny and Neville looked at him in confusion.
"It's something Muggles take to help them sleep" Harry explained. Suddenly all he wanted was for this day to be over. As if on cue, Seamus tumbled through the portrait hole and the group stood up.
"Sorry to keep you waiting" grinned Seamus, giving them a lecherous wink. "Got carried away!" Everyone rolled their eyes, and the boys began to move off in the direction of their dormitory.
"Night Ginny!" they chorused.
"Night boys" she said cheerfully. "Night Harry."
"Goodnight Ginny" he said gently. "Sleep well"
"I'll do my best" she promised. Harry watched her walk up the stairs leading to the girls dormitories, remembering all the times he had seen Hermione walk up them. He looked round the empty common room with a shudder and hurried upstairs after the others.
For the first month Harry felt detached. He began to develop a fear of being alone, especially in places that held special memories of his two friends. Neville seemed to understand this, and was a great help to Harry, refusing to let him dwell on things and forcing him to concentrate on his school work (largely by asking him to explain it). Draco was also a great distraction. He and Harry sat together in Potions all the time now, and it made Harry feel much more secure, even though Professor Snape still gave him funny looks. They had had to stop meeting by the lake though, because all Harry could think about when he was there was the day Hermione had told him she was dying and his world had started falling apart at the seams.
"Harry?" said Draco one day when they were curled up together under a tree in the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest. "Have you heard from Sirius lately?"
"Yes" said Harry cheerfully, thinking of the letter he had received that morning.
"How's he doing?" asked Draco lazily, stretching slightly and rolling into a patch of sunlight with almost catlike grace. He spent as much time in the sun as he possibly could, and it was a mystery to Harry how he remained so pale.
"Fine, I think. He says the weather's terrible, but what else can you expect at this time of year? He thinks he'll be finished soon and promises to visit me here before he heads off on his next trip."
"Where'll that be?"
"He's not sure, but he thinks in the south somewhere, possibly Berkshire."
"What's so great about Berkshire? I mean, that's a really terrible place name and just sounds boring - possibly with lots of dogs."
"The Reading festival?" suggested Harry, laughing at Draco's withering look mixed with confusion. "Seriously, I have no idea. Still, we'll probably find out when he gets there."
"True." said Draco. "Rather him than me!" He leaned over and kissed Harry swiftly before jumping up.
"We're going to be late if we don't go" he said, holding out his hand to help Harry up. Harry took it and squeezed it gratefully before the two boys headed off in different directions.
As Harry headed back to the Common Room, his mind full of happy Draco thoughts, he was stopped by Ginny.
"Harry?" she said tentatively, almost as if she thought he might chase her away.
"Hi Ginny!" he said cheerfully, giving the younger girl a grin. He hadn't really seen much of Ginny that term, something he thought ruefully was probably his fault. "What's up?"
"Can I talk to you privately?" she said nervously. Harry froze.
"Um, I'm in a bit of a hurry" he said hastily. "Perhaps later?" he offered, feeling guilty about dismissing her like that, but he really didn't want to have to explain Draco to anyone, and he knew if Ginny asked him out he would have to tell her why he was saying no.
"Please. This is important Harry" she said, giving him what Harry felt was a reproachful look. Harry felt a huge rush of guilt. How could he let himself be so full of himself as to think she wanted to ask him out? He had been her brother's best friend, she probably just wanted to talk about Ron.
"I've been trying to talk to you for ages, but this is the first time I've seen you alone." she went on.
"I'm sorry" said Harry, checking his watch and seeing with alarm that he really was going to be late if he didn't hurry. Ginny had her schoolbag slung over her shoulder, but his was still in his dormitory. "Look Gin, I've got to go now, but I'll talk to you this evening, OK?"
"Sure" she said, giving him a smile that didn't quite hide the darkness inside her. "See you later Harry."
Harry raced off to get his books and then headed for History of Magic. As he took notes he wondered idly what Ginny could want to talk to him about. Maybe she did want to ask him out, or ask his advice about something. He frowned at his work.
"She just wants to talk about Ron" he told himself. "Don't flatter yourself by thinking anything different."
Still, the puzzle of what Ginny wanted to talk to him about distracted Harry all afternoon, earning him some puzzled looks from the rest of the class who had grown used to a Harry who answered questions and found his sudden silence disorienting.
When Harry got back to the Common Room after tea, he saw Ginny curled up in an armchair in front of the fire, reading a book.
"Hi" he said cheerfully, sprawling into the chair next to her.
"Hi Harry!" she said "Do you want to go for a walk? It's still quite light."
"OK then" he said, alarm bells starting to ring at the idea of going off alone with her. Ginny smiled at him, closing her book and slipping it into the pocket of her robes before unfurling herself from the chair.
"After you" she said laughingly. Harry smiled at her before clambering out of the portrait hole. They chatted easily as they headed for the Entrance Hall. Ginny had come out of her shell in the last few years and had revealed a lively wit and sense of humour. They fell silent as they reached the Entrance Hall however, walking past the spot where Ron had died.
"I don't believe he did it!" burst out Ginny "I know Ron, and I can't believe he'd ever do something like that."
"He and Hermione were really close. Maybe the strain of living without her got too much." said Harry. He felt rather startled, and somewhat out of his depth. Of all the things Ginny could have said, this wasn't one he'd been expecting.
"No, my brother wouldn't do something like that. He had us, he'd been getting more cheerful over the last few weeks, so why then?"
Harry pushed open the main door and held it for Ginny, playing for time as he considered how to answer. Neither he nor Ginny noticed the black-robed figure watching them from the shadows, so preoccupied were they with their discussion.
"I read somewhere that people who are going to kill themselves seem to get better just before their deaths" said Harry tentatively, knowing that Ginny would not appreciate this piece of information. "Something to do with having made a decision or the prospect of peace or something." Ginny remained silent, so Harry continued.
"Ron and I had been drifting apart for a while, we weren't as close as we were before" said Harry. "Maybe he didn't feel he could rely on me. I couldn't seem to reach him at all."
"You were his best friend!" said Ginny angrily. "Do you really think he would have killed himself?"
"Grief makes people do funny things" Harry said helplessly. "And if he thought I'd let him down, then I don't know. Normally I'd say no, but with things as they were.." Harry trailed off.
"But he wouldn't kill himself!" said Ginny furiously.
"So what are you suggesting then?" asked Harry, more sharply than he'd intended. It was getting quite dark now, and Harry was beginning to feel uneasy.
"I...." Ginny floundered.
"Think about what you are saying" he said as gently as he could. "If Ron didn't kill himself, somebody else killed him. And why would anyone want to kill Ron?"
"I don't know!" said Ginny frustratedly, her eyes filling with tears. "But it's all I can think of. These are dangerous times Harry, maybe someone killed him just because he was a good person. He was getting better, looking forward to the holidays. Why would he kill himself? I just can't believe it" She began to cry. "Ron wouldn't kill himself" she sobbed. "He wouldn't, he wouldn't, he wouldn't"
Harry gingerly put an arm around her.
"I'm sorry" he said softly. Ginny buried her face in his chest and sobbed. Harry patted her back reassuringly, tears trickling down his own face.
When they had both calmed down they walked back to the Common Room in companionable silence.
"See you in the morning." said Ginny softly before climbing through the portrait hole and heading for the girls dormitories.
"Goodnight" said Harry. He decided to go to bed himself, but sleep was a long time in coming. Ginny had planted the seeds of doubt in Harry's mind. Would Ron really kill himself? But who could want to kill Ron? No matter what Ginny said, 'He was a good person' wasn't really a great motive for killing someone. 'And this is Hogwarts' Harry reminded himself sternly. "No one would dare commit a murder here, right under Dumbledore's nose! Ginny's just being hysterical' he told himself firmly. 'She just doesn't want to accept that her brother killed himself, and is clutching at straws - anything rather than believe the truth." Despite these comforting thoughts, Harry's sleep, when it finally arrived, was restless and full of disturbing dreams.
Harry overslept the next morning. Staggering into the Great Hall when most people had finished breakfast and gone to prepare for the day ahead he was surprised to see Professor McGonagall standing by the Gryffindor table talking to Dean.
"Ah, there you are Harry!" she said, sounding relieved. "We have some things to discuss. Get some toast and come with me" Still too sleepy to argue, Harry picked up some toast and spread some butter and jam on it before following Professor McGonagall. She led him to a deserted classroom and said cheerfully.
"Now, I know you've been wondering which of you veteran Quidditch players would be chosen as Captain of the Gryffindor team this year. Professor Dumbledore and I have discussed this, and we would like to offer the position to you"
Harry, who had been expecting bad news, gaped at her.
"But why me?" he asked stupidly.
"You have been playing in the Quidditch team for longer than any of the other players, you work well with people and we think that you could construct a winning Quidditch team without allowing Quidditch to interfere with your studies. Obviously, you are allowed to refuse if you don't feel you would be up to it, but I think you'll cope well"
"Thank you" said Harry. He was beginning to plan it all already, running over the players in Gryffindor, trying to decide on who should fill the vacant places, planning strategies for the upcoming matches.
"I'd be happy to take on the job!" he grinned.
"Well that's settled then!" said McGonagall cheerfully. "I'll put a notice up in the Gryffindor Common Room announcing your selection, but after that everything's up to you. Feel free to come to me if you have any problems though" she said cheerfully. "Even if they aren't Quidditch related" she said, just slightly too casually. Harry nodded.
"Thank you, I will" he said. He couldn't wait to tell Draco.
Harry spent the rest of the day in a Quidditch-filled dream, planning strategies, team practices, team line-up with substitutes and just generally thinking happy Quidditch thoughts. The first chance he got, he wrote Draco a quick note, telling him to meet him at the usual place.
"Guess what?" he said excitedly when the other boy appeared.
"What?" said Draco obligingly, coming closer for his kiss. Harry kissed him quickly and said excitedly
"I'm Captain of the Quidditch team!"
"What?" said Draco. He sounded less than thrilled, but Harry was too excited to notice.
"Can you believe it?" he babbled. "I'm in charge of the Quidditch team for Gryffindor! I have to select the team line-up and everything! It's going to be great!"
"Yeah" said Draco sourly.
"What's wrong?" asked Harry, noticing his boyfriend's sour mood.
"When are you going to see me?" asked Draco softly. "You'll be so busy with Quidditch you won't have time for me"
"Don't be silly" laughed Harry reassuringly, pulling the older boy towards him. "You know I love you. Quidditch has never come between us before, and it won't now."
"Are you sure?" Draco whispered softly, his eyes locked with Harry's.
"Yes" said Harry firmly and kissed him. Draco melted into the embrace and the subject of Quidditch was forgotten.
Draco was nearly right though. As the first Quidditch match drew closer, Harry grew ever more involved with the Gryffindor team, trying out new players, training the older ones to greater heights and generally getting wrapped up in his duties. The amount of work they were also expected to do was huge, and Harry simply had less time for Draco than he wanted. He also had no time for Ginny. Sometimes he would see her in the Common Room, but he rarely had time to speak to her, find out how she was doing. He trusted that she would tell him if she was having problems (uneasily pushing away the thought that Ron hadn't) and tried to get through the weeks until the Quidditch match was over.
When Gryffindor won however, he and Draco celebrated in their usual manner and life began to move onto a less demanding footing. Two days after Gryffindor's great defeat of Hufflepuff, Harry found Ginny in the Common Room.
"Coming for a stroll?" he asked cheerfully. "It's a lovely evening for December!"
"OK then. If I get a cold, it's all your fault! Meet me here in ten minutes with warmer clothes on?"
"Fine" said Harry, going off to get some warmer clothes himself.
They chattered their way down to the Entrance Hall again, and headed out into the cold.
"Why don't we go and see Hagrid?" suggested Ginny.
"Good plan" said Harry and they began to make their way down to Hagrid's hut.
"So, how've you been then?" asked Harry eventually, giving up on trying to bring the conversation around to that point naturally.
"OK thanks. Why?"
"I just haven't seen much of you lately" said Harry. "I mean, I know I've been busy, but I'd still like to talk to you sometimes."
"Nice try" laughed Ginny. "What you meant was, do I still believe Ron didn't kill himself. And the answer is yes. I agree with you in a way. I mean, it's basically ridiculous. Ron must have killed himself. But something just feels wrong to me. I don't know what or why, but I'm keeping my eyes open for anyone acting oddly." Harry wasn't sure in the half-light, but he thought Ginny shot him a probing look.
"And what will you do if you find someone acting oddly?"
"Follow them and try to find out what's going on." said Ginny as they arrived at Hagrid's hut. She knocked on the door. Harry felt a sudden chill sweep over him, a chill that had nothing to do with the temperature outside. Ginny would follow anyone acting oddly. Was she used to his strange, unexplained absences or had she noticed he wasn't always where he had said he would be?
"Hello you two!" boomed Hagrid cheerfully. "What brings you two down here?"
"We've just come for a chat. Though we'd see how you were getting on" said Ginny cheerfully.
"Lovely to see yeh. Come on in" said Hagrid. The two headed inside.
"Haven't seen much of you lately Harry" said Hagrid cheerfully, filling the kettle with water and putting it on the stove.
"I've been a bit busy" said Harry apologetically.
"Don't you apologise lad" said Hagrid. "You know your schoolwork is the most important thing. So long as you're happy, I'm happy."
"I'm happy" said Harry. "Quidditch Captain!" he reminded Hagrid. "How could I not be happy?"
"You know full well that being Quidditch Captain doesn't guarantee you happiness." said Hagrid calmly. The kettle boiled and Hagrid bustled around preparing them big mugs of tea.
Harry talked to Hagrid easily, discussing Sirius and the war against Voldemort mostly. Ginny joined in readily enough, but Harry got the impression that she was mostly watching him.
"Look at the time! You two'll get in trouble" said Hagrid after a while. Harry looked at his watch and was surprised to discover that two hours had passed.
"It's been great talking to you" he said cheerfully, getting to his feet and helping Ginny up. "I'll try and come here more often"
"You do that" said Hagrid. "Always a pleasure talking to yeh, yeh know that. And you Ginny" he added. "Though I know you'll keep coming" he said smiling. When he pulled the door to behind them and they started walking back to the castle there was a small pause before either of them said anything.
"Harry?" said Ginny curiously.
"Yes?"
"Last time we talked, you said Ron might have thought you'd let him down. Why might he have thought that?"
Harry felt as if he'd suddenly been doused with cold water, the good mood brought on by talking to Hagrid erased as if it had never been.
"Well, you know" he said uncertainly. "Not being able to share his grief properly, that sort of thing"
"Ron would understand that." said Ginny certainly. "He'd have been more upset if you could. What are you not telling me?"
"Don't I have a right to some secrets?" Harry asked as mildly as he could. He was suddenly full of anger. Something in Ginny's tone grated on his nerves. "What happened or didn't happen is between me and Ron"
"You're deliberately withholding information that could help me discover the truth about my brother's death and you think that's OK?"
"This has nothing to do with your brother's death" said Harry through gritted teeth. "It's my business, and mine alone, so keep your nose out!"
"How can I know that unless you tell me what's going on?" asked Ginny angrily, tears beginning to pour down her face.
"And I'm telling you" said Harry angrily. "My secret has nothing to do with your brother's death, and was hardly even your brother's business, never mind yours! Now stop being so nosy. Ron is dead and that's the end of it."
Harry regretted that as soon as he'd said it. Ginny slapped him across the face, then turned and ran, sobbing loudly. Harry put his hand to his cheek in shock, staring after Ginny. He was horrified by what he'd just said. He began to cry himself as he made his way to the Owlery. He wrote a note for Draco
"Meet me in the usual place at midnight. H." He attached it to Hedwig and sent her to Draco's dormitory, before heading to his own. He didn't bother to undress, just pulled the bedcurtains around him and tried to do some of the schoolwork he'd neglected to see Hagrid. When half past eleven came, Harry pulled his Invisibility cloak around himself and slid through his bedcurtains, careful to keep his bed hidden. The curtains were drawn around all the other beds so Harry walked quietly across the dormitory and out of the door, heading quickly for the Forest. Draco was already there, and Harry shed the Cloak as he walked up, tears already beginning to trickle down his face. Draco looked at him, then held out his arms. Harry buried his face in Draco's chest and began to sob out the evening's events. Draco made soothing noises and stroked his hair. However, Draco's expression did not match his tone. He looked strange, his face twisted slightly in jealousy, with a hint of something else. He continued to make soothing noises however, and Harry calmed down gradually.
"Thanks" he said looking up at Draco, his face full of love.
"No problem" said Draco, leaning down to kiss him. Harry deepened the kiss hungrily, pushing himself into Draco, who kissed back deeply, moving himself into a better position. Harry pushed Draco back onto the ground, kissing him desperately as he slid his hand beneath Draco's robes. Draco pulled the Invisibility Cloak over them, as much for warmth as for privacy before pulling Harry's robes up, groaning softly as Harry caressed him.
When they lay together, exhausted, both starting to feel the pangs of cold, Harry said sleepily
"I can't wait 'til I get my own place and we can stay together all night."
Draco nodded dreamily, shivering slightly.
"We'd best go. It's nearly three in the morning, and besides, I'm freezing!"
Harry groaned, but pulled his robes straight anyway. They both dressed quickly and walked back to the castle under the Invisibility Cloak, a process delayed by the fact that they had to keep stopping to kiss. Harry walked Draco back to the Slytherin Common Room and saw him safely inside before heading to Gryffindor. He climbed through the portrait hole, glanced around quickly and seeing no one, slid out from under the Invisibility Cloak. He realised his mistake as soon as he heard a gasp.
"Harry?" said Ginny's voice. "Where have you been? It's three in the morning!" Harry quickly stuffed the Invisibility Cloak under his robes. He didn't know whether she had seen it, or whether she thought she had failed to notice him because it was dark.
"I had some things to think about" he said, wondering whether there were any stains on his robes. 'There could be. After all, it was cold so we didn't actually take them off' He winced at the thought and prayed that it was dark enough for Ginny not to notice any strange marks.
"Look" he said quickly, hoping he could deflect her attack. "I'm really sorry about what I said before. It was totally uncalled for and I was well out of order"
Ginny nodded, moving out of the chair where she had been sitting. Harry realised it had a side view of the portrait hole, so she might not have seen the Invisibility cloak after all, just caught his movement out of the corner of her eye.
"It wasn't fair of me to ask" she said softly. "I just want to know why he did it, that's all"
Harry nodded, knowing exactly what she meant.
"We should get some sleep" he said. "It's late."
"I can't sleep" said Ginny softly, looking at him. Harry could see something in her eyes he was afraid to name.
"Maybe you'll be able to now I've apologised" said Harry, beginning to move gradually towards the stairs leading to the boys dormitory. Ginny looked almost disappointed, but nodded.
"Sleep well" she said quietly, turning away.
"You too" said Harry, scuttling with relief up the stairs to his dormitory. He undressed quickly in the privacy of his bedcurtains and slid into bed, falling asleep quickly.
Harry felt dreadful the next day, completely shattered and guilty for not telling Ginny the truth about his relationship with Draco. He staggered down to breakfast, on time but feeling like he was still asleep. To his irritation Ginny looked fine, but he was soothed by the fact that Draco looked slightly tired. Harry passed the day in a half-asleep, haze of guilt. Luckily, it was so near the end of term that no one really cared. Draco was going home for Christmas as he always did, but Harry suddenly remembered that Ginny was staying. He reminded himself to ask Draco for advice on how to avoid her. She made him feel guilty and uneasy, not feelings that Harry enjoyed.
He met up with Draco the night before term ended. They didn't talk much, just made love in an empty classroom.
"Have a good Christmas" said Draco before slipping off back to his dormitory. On the last night of term, rules were always slightly relaxed, as everyone was out saying goodbye to their partners for the Christmas holidays. It was dark in the Gryffindor Common Room when Harry climbed back in. Somehow he wasn't surprised to see Ginny sitting in a chair facing the portrait hole.
"It's not nice to spy on people you know" he said resignedly. He headed across the Common Room towards his dormitory.
"Aren't you going to tell me who she is?" asked Ginny, her voice barely audible.
"No" said Harry quietly and went up the stairs.
Well! Does Ginny's theory have any truth to it? How will she react to the knowledge that Harry is not available? Will she find out who Harry is involved with? What will happen next? REVIEW!
Draco was Harry's biggest comfort. He and Harry wrote to each other all the time. Harry didn't sign his letters and only used initials when talking about people in case the letters were found by Draco's family, even though Draco swore that no one who didn't know where they were could find them. By now he had no secrets from Draco, and Harry couldn't imagine a life without him.
This time, Harry frankly dreaded going back to school.
"I can't do it" he confided to Draco in a letter. "I can't go back and be on my own."
"You'll be fine" Draco wrote back. "There are all the other Gryffindors, and you can rely on me."
When Uncle Vernon left him at the station to catch the train for his seventh year at Hogwarts Harry stared around, thinking how things had changed since the last time Uncle Vernon had dropped him at the station, six years ago. Then he had never met Ron and Hermione, never known he had a godfather, never dreamed that the snooty boy he had met and disliked in Madame Malkin's would come to be the most important person in his world.
Drawing on all his depths of courage, Harry went onto the platform and pushed his trolley up to the prefects carriage. He lugged his trunk into it, and arranged Hedwig's cage carefully on the luggage rack, chatting happily to Padma Patil, who was already in there.
The journey passed much more quickly than Harry had expected, and in a strange way was much less painful than the year before. He and Draco had actually arranged a time to meet up, which made the whole trip considerably more bearable, as did being in the prefects carriage which was full of people Harry knew and liked. However, when he walked into the Gryffindor common room after the feast and looked at the armchairs where the three of them had always sat, Harry felt such a sense of loss he thought he would never be complete again. Walking up the stairs to his dormitory and looking at Ron's empty bed brought back memories of the night after his death, the feeling of shock and confusion that had filled the room. He saw Neville glance at the bed uneasily and knew he was thinking the same.
"Shall we go downstairs?" he asked Harry gently. "Probably best to keep out of here for a while." Harry nodded quietly and the two headed back to the Common room. Neville kept up an easy flow of chatter as they sat by the fire, waiting for Seamus and Dean to finish saying goodnight to their respective girlfriends and be ready for bed. Neville had changed a lot since first year mused Harry. He had grown considerably and had slimmed down somewhat. His aura of nervous fear had lessened, and he now seemed more confident, but overall he projected kindness. Harry vaguely wondered how he did it.
"Can I sit with you?" a voice asked. Harry looked up and saw Ginny.
"Course you can" said Harry, blushing slightly.
"How was your summer?" asked Neville. "Apart from, you know, I mean.." he floundered slightly.
"Strange. The twins have moved out, so there were fewer explosions." she answered, carefully avoiding the subject of Ron.
"I'm sorry I couldn't be more help at the funeral." said Harry, abandoning all attempts at tact.
"My uncle wouldn't let me stay any longer than was strictly necessary."
"It's OK." said Ginny softly. "I know what the Dursleys are like."
"Yes." agreed Neville solemnly, though Harry suspected he didn't know what the Dursleys were like at all and was simply agreeing to delay the awkward pause which now fell.
The pause was broken by the portrait hole swinging open and Dean climbing in.
"Seamus not here yet?" he asked, almost as if they had made an agreement not to go to bed until they were all there. "I hope he hurries up - I'm shattered!" He flopped down into an armchair and smoothed his ruffled hair.
"Hi Ginny" he said. "You OK?"
"Just tired" said Ginny. "Sleep's been a bit hard to come by recently."
"Yeah, well" said Dean. "Not really surprising." He smothered a yawn.
"You take care of yourself though" he said cheerfully. "If you still can't sleep here, you could go to Madame Pomfrey. She might give you sleeping pills or something." Ginny and Neville looked at him in confusion.
"It's something Muggles take to help them sleep" Harry explained. Suddenly all he wanted was for this day to be over. As if on cue, Seamus tumbled through the portrait hole and the group stood up.
"Sorry to keep you waiting" grinned Seamus, giving them a lecherous wink. "Got carried away!" Everyone rolled their eyes, and the boys began to move off in the direction of their dormitory.
"Night Ginny!" they chorused.
"Night boys" she said cheerfully. "Night Harry."
"Goodnight Ginny" he said gently. "Sleep well"
"I'll do my best" she promised. Harry watched her walk up the stairs leading to the girls dormitories, remembering all the times he had seen Hermione walk up them. He looked round the empty common room with a shudder and hurried upstairs after the others.
For the first month Harry felt detached. He began to develop a fear of being alone, especially in places that held special memories of his two friends. Neville seemed to understand this, and was a great help to Harry, refusing to let him dwell on things and forcing him to concentrate on his school work (largely by asking him to explain it). Draco was also a great distraction. He and Harry sat together in Potions all the time now, and it made Harry feel much more secure, even though Professor Snape still gave him funny looks. They had had to stop meeting by the lake though, because all Harry could think about when he was there was the day Hermione had told him she was dying and his world had started falling apart at the seams.
"Harry?" said Draco one day when they were curled up together under a tree in the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest. "Have you heard from Sirius lately?"
"Yes" said Harry cheerfully, thinking of the letter he had received that morning.
"How's he doing?" asked Draco lazily, stretching slightly and rolling into a patch of sunlight with almost catlike grace. He spent as much time in the sun as he possibly could, and it was a mystery to Harry how he remained so pale.
"Fine, I think. He says the weather's terrible, but what else can you expect at this time of year? He thinks he'll be finished soon and promises to visit me here before he heads off on his next trip."
"Where'll that be?"
"He's not sure, but he thinks in the south somewhere, possibly Berkshire."
"What's so great about Berkshire? I mean, that's a really terrible place name and just sounds boring - possibly with lots of dogs."
"The Reading festival?" suggested Harry, laughing at Draco's withering look mixed with confusion. "Seriously, I have no idea. Still, we'll probably find out when he gets there."
"True." said Draco. "Rather him than me!" He leaned over and kissed Harry swiftly before jumping up.
"We're going to be late if we don't go" he said, holding out his hand to help Harry up. Harry took it and squeezed it gratefully before the two boys headed off in different directions.
As Harry headed back to the Common Room, his mind full of happy Draco thoughts, he was stopped by Ginny.
"Harry?" she said tentatively, almost as if she thought he might chase her away.
"Hi Ginny!" he said cheerfully, giving the younger girl a grin. He hadn't really seen much of Ginny that term, something he thought ruefully was probably his fault. "What's up?"
"Can I talk to you privately?" she said nervously. Harry froze.
"Um, I'm in a bit of a hurry" he said hastily. "Perhaps later?" he offered, feeling guilty about dismissing her like that, but he really didn't want to have to explain Draco to anyone, and he knew if Ginny asked him out he would have to tell her why he was saying no.
"Please. This is important Harry" she said, giving him what Harry felt was a reproachful look. Harry felt a huge rush of guilt. How could he let himself be so full of himself as to think she wanted to ask him out? He had been her brother's best friend, she probably just wanted to talk about Ron.
"I've been trying to talk to you for ages, but this is the first time I've seen you alone." she went on.
"I'm sorry" said Harry, checking his watch and seeing with alarm that he really was going to be late if he didn't hurry. Ginny had her schoolbag slung over her shoulder, but his was still in his dormitory. "Look Gin, I've got to go now, but I'll talk to you this evening, OK?"
"Sure" she said, giving him a smile that didn't quite hide the darkness inside her. "See you later Harry."
Harry raced off to get his books and then headed for History of Magic. As he took notes he wondered idly what Ginny could want to talk to him about. Maybe she did want to ask him out, or ask his advice about something. He frowned at his work.
"She just wants to talk about Ron" he told himself. "Don't flatter yourself by thinking anything different."
Still, the puzzle of what Ginny wanted to talk to him about distracted Harry all afternoon, earning him some puzzled looks from the rest of the class who had grown used to a Harry who answered questions and found his sudden silence disorienting.
When Harry got back to the Common Room after tea, he saw Ginny curled up in an armchair in front of the fire, reading a book.
"Hi" he said cheerfully, sprawling into the chair next to her.
"Hi Harry!" she said "Do you want to go for a walk? It's still quite light."
"OK then" he said, alarm bells starting to ring at the idea of going off alone with her. Ginny smiled at him, closing her book and slipping it into the pocket of her robes before unfurling herself from the chair.
"After you" she said laughingly. Harry smiled at her before clambering out of the portrait hole. They chatted easily as they headed for the Entrance Hall. Ginny had come out of her shell in the last few years and had revealed a lively wit and sense of humour. They fell silent as they reached the Entrance Hall however, walking past the spot where Ron had died.
"I don't believe he did it!" burst out Ginny "I know Ron, and I can't believe he'd ever do something like that."
"He and Hermione were really close. Maybe the strain of living without her got too much." said Harry. He felt rather startled, and somewhat out of his depth. Of all the things Ginny could have said, this wasn't one he'd been expecting.
"No, my brother wouldn't do something like that. He had us, he'd been getting more cheerful over the last few weeks, so why then?"
Harry pushed open the main door and held it for Ginny, playing for time as he considered how to answer. Neither he nor Ginny noticed the black-robed figure watching them from the shadows, so preoccupied were they with their discussion.
"I read somewhere that people who are going to kill themselves seem to get better just before their deaths" said Harry tentatively, knowing that Ginny would not appreciate this piece of information. "Something to do with having made a decision or the prospect of peace or something." Ginny remained silent, so Harry continued.
"Ron and I had been drifting apart for a while, we weren't as close as we were before" said Harry. "Maybe he didn't feel he could rely on me. I couldn't seem to reach him at all."
"You were his best friend!" said Ginny angrily. "Do you really think he would have killed himself?"
"Grief makes people do funny things" Harry said helplessly. "And if he thought I'd let him down, then I don't know. Normally I'd say no, but with things as they were.." Harry trailed off.
"But he wouldn't kill himself!" said Ginny furiously.
"So what are you suggesting then?" asked Harry, more sharply than he'd intended. It was getting quite dark now, and Harry was beginning to feel uneasy.
"I...." Ginny floundered.
"Think about what you are saying" he said as gently as he could. "If Ron didn't kill himself, somebody else killed him. And why would anyone want to kill Ron?"
"I don't know!" said Ginny frustratedly, her eyes filling with tears. "But it's all I can think of. These are dangerous times Harry, maybe someone killed him just because he was a good person. He was getting better, looking forward to the holidays. Why would he kill himself? I just can't believe it" She began to cry. "Ron wouldn't kill himself" she sobbed. "He wouldn't, he wouldn't, he wouldn't"
Harry gingerly put an arm around her.
"I'm sorry" he said softly. Ginny buried her face in his chest and sobbed. Harry patted her back reassuringly, tears trickling down his own face.
When they had both calmed down they walked back to the Common Room in companionable silence.
"See you in the morning." said Ginny softly before climbing through the portrait hole and heading for the girls dormitories.
"Goodnight" said Harry. He decided to go to bed himself, but sleep was a long time in coming. Ginny had planted the seeds of doubt in Harry's mind. Would Ron really kill himself? But who could want to kill Ron? No matter what Ginny said, 'He was a good person' wasn't really a great motive for killing someone. 'And this is Hogwarts' Harry reminded himself sternly. "No one would dare commit a murder here, right under Dumbledore's nose! Ginny's just being hysterical' he told himself firmly. 'She just doesn't want to accept that her brother killed himself, and is clutching at straws - anything rather than believe the truth." Despite these comforting thoughts, Harry's sleep, when it finally arrived, was restless and full of disturbing dreams.
Harry overslept the next morning. Staggering into the Great Hall when most people had finished breakfast and gone to prepare for the day ahead he was surprised to see Professor McGonagall standing by the Gryffindor table talking to Dean.
"Ah, there you are Harry!" she said, sounding relieved. "We have some things to discuss. Get some toast and come with me" Still too sleepy to argue, Harry picked up some toast and spread some butter and jam on it before following Professor McGonagall. She led him to a deserted classroom and said cheerfully.
"Now, I know you've been wondering which of you veteran Quidditch players would be chosen as Captain of the Gryffindor team this year. Professor Dumbledore and I have discussed this, and we would like to offer the position to you"
Harry, who had been expecting bad news, gaped at her.
"But why me?" he asked stupidly.
"You have been playing in the Quidditch team for longer than any of the other players, you work well with people and we think that you could construct a winning Quidditch team without allowing Quidditch to interfere with your studies. Obviously, you are allowed to refuse if you don't feel you would be up to it, but I think you'll cope well"
"Thank you" said Harry. He was beginning to plan it all already, running over the players in Gryffindor, trying to decide on who should fill the vacant places, planning strategies for the upcoming matches.
"I'd be happy to take on the job!" he grinned.
"Well that's settled then!" said McGonagall cheerfully. "I'll put a notice up in the Gryffindor Common Room announcing your selection, but after that everything's up to you. Feel free to come to me if you have any problems though" she said cheerfully. "Even if they aren't Quidditch related" she said, just slightly too casually. Harry nodded.
"Thank you, I will" he said. He couldn't wait to tell Draco.
Harry spent the rest of the day in a Quidditch-filled dream, planning strategies, team practices, team line-up with substitutes and just generally thinking happy Quidditch thoughts. The first chance he got, he wrote Draco a quick note, telling him to meet him at the usual place.
"Guess what?" he said excitedly when the other boy appeared.
"What?" said Draco obligingly, coming closer for his kiss. Harry kissed him quickly and said excitedly
"I'm Captain of the Quidditch team!"
"What?" said Draco. He sounded less than thrilled, but Harry was too excited to notice.
"Can you believe it?" he babbled. "I'm in charge of the Quidditch team for Gryffindor! I have to select the team line-up and everything! It's going to be great!"
"Yeah" said Draco sourly.
"What's wrong?" asked Harry, noticing his boyfriend's sour mood.
"When are you going to see me?" asked Draco softly. "You'll be so busy with Quidditch you won't have time for me"
"Don't be silly" laughed Harry reassuringly, pulling the older boy towards him. "You know I love you. Quidditch has never come between us before, and it won't now."
"Are you sure?" Draco whispered softly, his eyes locked with Harry's.
"Yes" said Harry firmly and kissed him. Draco melted into the embrace and the subject of Quidditch was forgotten.
Draco was nearly right though. As the first Quidditch match drew closer, Harry grew ever more involved with the Gryffindor team, trying out new players, training the older ones to greater heights and generally getting wrapped up in his duties. The amount of work they were also expected to do was huge, and Harry simply had less time for Draco than he wanted. He also had no time for Ginny. Sometimes he would see her in the Common Room, but he rarely had time to speak to her, find out how she was doing. He trusted that she would tell him if she was having problems (uneasily pushing away the thought that Ron hadn't) and tried to get through the weeks until the Quidditch match was over.
When Gryffindor won however, he and Draco celebrated in their usual manner and life began to move onto a less demanding footing. Two days after Gryffindor's great defeat of Hufflepuff, Harry found Ginny in the Common Room.
"Coming for a stroll?" he asked cheerfully. "It's a lovely evening for December!"
"OK then. If I get a cold, it's all your fault! Meet me here in ten minutes with warmer clothes on?"
"Fine" said Harry, going off to get some warmer clothes himself.
They chattered their way down to the Entrance Hall again, and headed out into the cold.
"Why don't we go and see Hagrid?" suggested Ginny.
"Good plan" said Harry and they began to make their way down to Hagrid's hut.
"So, how've you been then?" asked Harry eventually, giving up on trying to bring the conversation around to that point naturally.
"OK thanks. Why?"
"I just haven't seen much of you lately" said Harry. "I mean, I know I've been busy, but I'd still like to talk to you sometimes."
"Nice try" laughed Ginny. "What you meant was, do I still believe Ron didn't kill himself. And the answer is yes. I agree with you in a way. I mean, it's basically ridiculous. Ron must have killed himself. But something just feels wrong to me. I don't know what or why, but I'm keeping my eyes open for anyone acting oddly." Harry wasn't sure in the half-light, but he thought Ginny shot him a probing look.
"And what will you do if you find someone acting oddly?"
"Follow them and try to find out what's going on." said Ginny as they arrived at Hagrid's hut. She knocked on the door. Harry felt a sudden chill sweep over him, a chill that had nothing to do with the temperature outside. Ginny would follow anyone acting oddly. Was she used to his strange, unexplained absences or had she noticed he wasn't always where he had said he would be?
"Hello you two!" boomed Hagrid cheerfully. "What brings you two down here?"
"We've just come for a chat. Though we'd see how you were getting on" said Ginny cheerfully.
"Lovely to see yeh. Come on in" said Hagrid. The two headed inside.
"Haven't seen much of you lately Harry" said Hagrid cheerfully, filling the kettle with water and putting it on the stove.
"I've been a bit busy" said Harry apologetically.
"Don't you apologise lad" said Hagrid. "You know your schoolwork is the most important thing. So long as you're happy, I'm happy."
"I'm happy" said Harry. "Quidditch Captain!" he reminded Hagrid. "How could I not be happy?"
"You know full well that being Quidditch Captain doesn't guarantee you happiness." said Hagrid calmly. The kettle boiled and Hagrid bustled around preparing them big mugs of tea.
Harry talked to Hagrid easily, discussing Sirius and the war against Voldemort mostly. Ginny joined in readily enough, but Harry got the impression that she was mostly watching him.
"Look at the time! You two'll get in trouble" said Hagrid after a while. Harry looked at his watch and was surprised to discover that two hours had passed.
"It's been great talking to you" he said cheerfully, getting to his feet and helping Ginny up. "I'll try and come here more often"
"You do that" said Hagrid. "Always a pleasure talking to yeh, yeh know that. And you Ginny" he added. "Though I know you'll keep coming" he said smiling. When he pulled the door to behind them and they started walking back to the castle there was a small pause before either of them said anything.
"Harry?" said Ginny curiously.
"Yes?"
"Last time we talked, you said Ron might have thought you'd let him down. Why might he have thought that?"
Harry felt as if he'd suddenly been doused with cold water, the good mood brought on by talking to Hagrid erased as if it had never been.
"Well, you know" he said uncertainly. "Not being able to share his grief properly, that sort of thing"
"Ron would understand that." said Ginny certainly. "He'd have been more upset if you could. What are you not telling me?"
"Don't I have a right to some secrets?" Harry asked as mildly as he could. He was suddenly full of anger. Something in Ginny's tone grated on his nerves. "What happened or didn't happen is between me and Ron"
"You're deliberately withholding information that could help me discover the truth about my brother's death and you think that's OK?"
"This has nothing to do with your brother's death" said Harry through gritted teeth. "It's my business, and mine alone, so keep your nose out!"
"How can I know that unless you tell me what's going on?" asked Ginny angrily, tears beginning to pour down her face.
"And I'm telling you" said Harry angrily. "My secret has nothing to do with your brother's death, and was hardly even your brother's business, never mind yours! Now stop being so nosy. Ron is dead and that's the end of it."
Harry regretted that as soon as he'd said it. Ginny slapped him across the face, then turned and ran, sobbing loudly. Harry put his hand to his cheek in shock, staring after Ginny. He was horrified by what he'd just said. He began to cry himself as he made his way to the Owlery. He wrote a note for Draco
"Meet me in the usual place at midnight. H." He attached it to Hedwig and sent her to Draco's dormitory, before heading to his own. He didn't bother to undress, just pulled the bedcurtains around him and tried to do some of the schoolwork he'd neglected to see Hagrid. When half past eleven came, Harry pulled his Invisibility cloak around himself and slid through his bedcurtains, careful to keep his bed hidden. The curtains were drawn around all the other beds so Harry walked quietly across the dormitory and out of the door, heading quickly for the Forest. Draco was already there, and Harry shed the Cloak as he walked up, tears already beginning to trickle down his face. Draco looked at him, then held out his arms. Harry buried his face in Draco's chest and began to sob out the evening's events. Draco made soothing noises and stroked his hair. However, Draco's expression did not match his tone. He looked strange, his face twisted slightly in jealousy, with a hint of something else. He continued to make soothing noises however, and Harry calmed down gradually.
"Thanks" he said looking up at Draco, his face full of love.
"No problem" said Draco, leaning down to kiss him. Harry deepened the kiss hungrily, pushing himself into Draco, who kissed back deeply, moving himself into a better position. Harry pushed Draco back onto the ground, kissing him desperately as he slid his hand beneath Draco's robes. Draco pulled the Invisibility Cloak over them, as much for warmth as for privacy before pulling Harry's robes up, groaning softly as Harry caressed him.
When they lay together, exhausted, both starting to feel the pangs of cold, Harry said sleepily
"I can't wait 'til I get my own place and we can stay together all night."
Draco nodded dreamily, shivering slightly.
"We'd best go. It's nearly three in the morning, and besides, I'm freezing!"
Harry groaned, but pulled his robes straight anyway. They both dressed quickly and walked back to the castle under the Invisibility Cloak, a process delayed by the fact that they had to keep stopping to kiss. Harry walked Draco back to the Slytherin Common Room and saw him safely inside before heading to Gryffindor. He climbed through the portrait hole, glanced around quickly and seeing no one, slid out from under the Invisibility Cloak. He realised his mistake as soon as he heard a gasp.
"Harry?" said Ginny's voice. "Where have you been? It's three in the morning!" Harry quickly stuffed the Invisibility Cloak under his robes. He didn't know whether she had seen it, or whether she thought she had failed to notice him because it was dark.
"I had some things to think about" he said, wondering whether there were any stains on his robes. 'There could be. After all, it was cold so we didn't actually take them off' He winced at the thought and prayed that it was dark enough for Ginny not to notice any strange marks.
"Look" he said quickly, hoping he could deflect her attack. "I'm really sorry about what I said before. It was totally uncalled for and I was well out of order"
Ginny nodded, moving out of the chair where she had been sitting. Harry realised it had a side view of the portrait hole, so she might not have seen the Invisibility cloak after all, just caught his movement out of the corner of her eye.
"It wasn't fair of me to ask" she said softly. "I just want to know why he did it, that's all"
Harry nodded, knowing exactly what she meant.
"We should get some sleep" he said. "It's late."
"I can't sleep" said Ginny softly, looking at him. Harry could see something in her eyes he was afraid to name.
"Maybe you'll be able to now I've apologised" said Harry, beginning to move gradually towards the stairs leading to the boys dormitory. Ginny looked almost disappointed, but nodded.
"Sleep well" she said quietly, turning away.
"You too" said Harry, scuttling with relief up the stairs to his dormitory. He undressed quickly in the privacy of his bedcurtains and slid into bed, falling asleep quickly.
Harry felt dreadful the next day, completely shattered and guilty for not telling Ginny the truth about his relationship with Draco. He staggered down to breakfast, on time but feeling like he was still asleep. To his irritation Ginny looked fine, but he was soothed by the fact that Draco looked slightly tired. Harry passed the day in a half-asleep, haze of guilt. Luckily, it was so near the end of term that no one really cared. Draco was going home for Christmas as he always did, but Harry suddenly remembered that Ginny was staying. He reminded himself to ask Draco for advice on how to avoid her. She made him feel guilty and uneasy, not feelings that Harry enjoyed.
He met up with Draco the night before term ended. They didn't talk much, just made love in an empty classroom.
"Have a good Christmas" said Draco before slipping off back to his dormitory. On the last night of term, rules were always slightly relaxed, as everyone was out saying goodbye to their partners for the Christmas holidays. It was dark in the Gryffindor Common Room when Harry climbed back in. Somehow he wasn't surprised to see Ginny sitting in a chair facing the portrait hole.
"It's not nice to spy on people you know" he said resignedly. He headed across the Common Room towards his dormitory.
"Aren't you going to tell me who she is?" asked Ginny, her voice barely audible.
"No" said Harry quietly and went up the stairs.
Well! Does Ginny's theory have any truth to it? How will she react to the knowledge that Harry is not available? Will she find out who Harry is involved with? What will happen next? REVIEW!