Life with Hope was an adventure, no doubt about that.
Buffy sat quietly on the front porch watching the last dying embers of the day melt away into twilight; lost in thought. The last few months had been eventful to say the least. Hope was in many ways like a child in her knowledge of emotions and how the world worked. Buffy smiled to herself as she remembered Hope's first reaction to ice cream. This does not have a pleasing shape her voice had been full of uncertainty. In her mind Buffy saw again the excitement that had swept over Hope's features at the first taste. This is...WONDERFUL! How does it get so cold and yet so good? She'd been so excited that she'd done a little dance and then proceeded to make herself sick by eating three pints of mint chocolate chip in one sitting. It was like that for Hope a lot. Every day was something new and wonderful to her; an adventure, and without knowing it she lifted everyone's Spirits.
Willow was enamored with her knowledge of the Magics. Hope knew so much about the energies and how to use them and she had brought Willow to new depths of understanding her own power and how to control it. Funny magic mistakes happened less and less and Willow was really getting a feel for her special gifts.
Dawn and Hope and become inseparable. Often it was Dawn who would lead Hope in learning that new dance; coax her towards the first step of that new Experience. Having been in the shadows so much Dawn loved her new role as a tutor; relished the opportunity to guide Hope in her every day dealings. In return Hope helped her to see her own self worth; made her feel special and appreciated. Gave her confidence. Hope told her stories of her lives before, taught her simple magic tricks and helped to ease the uncertainty in her soul. Even spike was getting along with her. Like it or not Hope saw him for what he really was, things he tried to hide even from Buffy were naked before her eyes. For her part Hope put aside her past anonymities towards him and treated him with kindness, even grudging respect. Spike got over his mistrust of her and found that her oberservations of people were spot on; thought he suspected that she could read minds a little bit. She never told him such; and he never asked.
Buffy smiled to herself. Xander and Hope... well there was definitely something brewing there. It had taken Xander a while to even talk to her, which caught Buffy's attention right away; Xander was usually the one doing ALL the talking. Slowly over the past several months they had started to spend a great deal of time together. Xander tried to teach her the in's and out's of construction and Hope had smiling bore the long boring lectures. Whenever Xander was around there was always a heightened pinkness to her cheeks, and her voice softened when talking about him; which she did a lot.
Buffy wasn't sure how she felt about Hope. Sometimes It seemed like Hope was a little girl and Buffy wanted to hug her. But then something would happen that would bring out the beast in her and Buffy would be afraid. Usually when it came to some demon or monster. Hope was fiercely protective of them all. Buffy's stomach did a half lurch as she remembered the Demon who had set his sights on Dawn to be his mate. Hope had literally turned him inside out...it hadn't been pretty. When it came to protecting them there was not a line she wouldn't cross and Buffy sometimes wondered what new and disgusting punishment she would come up with next. Buffy bit her lip. It wasn't that Hope wasn't helpful; she was. Buffy felt much better since she had come. All the worried ness had left her and she could concentrate on her duties as slayer without worrying what kind of nasty something was going to come after her friends or sister. She trained harder then ever and had become to the demon world that much more dangerous. Yet... Buffy sighed. She didn't know why, but she was having trouble thinking of Hope as a friend. She supposed she was, but....
The tiny flame of a lighter captured her attention in the deepening dusk. "Well.. That didn't' take long what did you do run all the way hear? I don't' hear you panting." Spike made his way up to the house and sat down next to her. "Even if I had run *which I haven't thanks much* you wouldn't hear me pant." "Oh?" "Sorry luv, you need to be able to breath for that." "Wouldn't be the first time I've heard you pant." Spike grinned. "Naughty girl!" Buffy tossed her head. "Always." Spike raised an eyebrow. "Hm.. Now that's a nice though... but I won't pursue it with the possibility of virgin ears about. So it's patrol then yea?" Buffy yawn and stretched. "Sure.. I guess." "You guess?" "Well things have been..Well...dead lately." "That they have, but you know just when you get all used to that something wholly unbelievable usually pops up." "You're right about that." Spike puffed on his cigarette but said nothing. They sat together in comfortable silence enjoying each other's company. They did that a lot lately. Just hung out, not saying a word just being together. Spike wouldn't admit it to Buffy but it was times like these that he felt closest to her. When she wasn't fretting about some big bad or giving a speech about her headaches at work. When she was like this quiet and reflective, the innocent girl came out. Spike didn't get to see her much and moments like this reminded him why he loved her so much...complex little thing she was.
The silence was broken by Xander's call from the street. "Hey there loafer gal.. And guy wanna give me a hand? He was tottering up the sidewalk with three pizza's in one hand and was hugging three two liters of soda to his chest with the other. Spike got up and took the pizza from him. "Your dinner night eh?" "Nothing but the best for my girls.. Payday man doesn't disappoint." Spike chuckled. "Sure" he said as they made their way inside. Willow, Hope and Dawn were all sitting at the dinner table helping Dawn with her homework. They all looked up at the commotion. "Pizza!" Dawn said Happily. "You got anchovies right?" "Ew dawn that's nasty." "What? I likes the little fishes!" Xander Laughed. "One Anchovy pizza just for you girlie, since you're going to be the only one eating it. Hey Will." He said smiling and then he looked at Hope. His voice softened slightly. "Hey Hope."
Xander... A small knot formed in Hopes stomach, like it always did when she was in close proximity to Xander. She wondered absently if he had some kind of Virus that always made her stomach to summersaults whenever he was near. She smiled tentatively. Wow.. She thought to herself. He is so beautiful. Hope loved to look at Xander; she could spend all day staring at him. She loved how His dark hair was always falling in his face, and how when caught in light she could see the soft red tones in it. She loved his good-natured smile; that lopsided grin always made her knees melt. But most of all she loved his eyes. Those dark orbs held so much mystery for her. There were so many things she didn't understand. She didn't know why she felt the way she did, or what the feeling even was, but she knew somehow, someway Xander could make it all clear to her. She realized with a start that he was waiting for an answer. "Hey Xander" she said hastily. Nice one she thought to herself. Dawn smiled knowingly at her and held out the pizza box. "Come on Hope, I know you're brave enough to help me with this." Hope reached for the pizza but Xander grabbed her hand. "I wouldn't if I were you," he said good-naturedly. A shock shot through Hope's body as their hand touched and she jumped slightly. Xander frowned at her. "You ok?" "Yes thank you." Dawn started to giggle and Hope's cheeks redden further. She looked over and saw Spike's amused expression. She was so confused. She met his gaze and Spike smiled at her. Suddenly a thought flashed in her mind. Spike... spike will know what I'm feeling. He'll be able to tell me why, I'll ask him. She nodded to herself and then looked at Xander. "I'd like a piece of that please."
Hope looked over her shoulder for what seemed to be the millionth time and then chastised herself. Everyone is gone what is your problem? Willow and Dawn were at school, Buffy and Xander at work. This time of the afternoon Hope usually had to herself and she didn't' know why she suddenly felt so nervous. She walked resolutely down the street and stole into the graveyard moving quickly between the rows of the tombstones. Before long she stood before a large stone crypt and she stopped, uncertain about her next move. Did she knock? She decided that might look a little strange so she took a deep breath and slowly opened the old heavy stone door. It was very dark inside and it took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the light. "Spike?" She called hesitantly. She looked around the small room. It was clean and distinctively homey. A small television and chair were situated toward the middle of the room and a fridgerater in the corner. The place had lovely carpet and a beautiful oak in table near one wall. The crypt did not seem like a place of death, save for the stone coffin shroud that stood in the other corner. Hope was so busy looking around her she didn't' notice Spike come up from the downstairs and she nearly jumped out of her skin when he spoke. "Hope?" "Spike! You..You startled me" "The feeling is mutual" "Meaning?" Spike looked her over as he lit his cigarette. "Meaning I don't' usually get visitors during the daylight hours. Something I can help you with?" "Who says I need help? Can't I just come by for a visit? Everyone has jobs or school...Their are many hours to myself." Spike looked her over curiously. Something was up all right. She seemed agitated, nervous even. "You wouldn't come here without a reason. We might get along, but we're not friends. Not really anyway. So I'll ask again nicely and then I'll get cross. How can I help you?" Hope sighed. "May I...sit?" "Yea, you don't need to ask." "Yes I do." "Oh.. Right anyway your here because?" Hope settled herself into the chair and Spike sat on the cement shroud. "I have many questions I need answers." "Go on.." Hope gazed at him speculatively, absently toying with her pinky. Now that she was here she didn't know where to begin...or if she even wanted to.... Was she ready to know?" "You love Buffy." Spike nodded. "I want to know...what is love?" Spike blinked; he hadn't been expecting that one. "Love? You don't know what love is?" Hope gave him a half smile. "Not that kind. Buffy loves Dawn, she's her sister. I understand that. I also understand the love between Willow and Buffy, the love of a friend. But between man and woman...er...demon in your case...I don't understand. I can't ask Buffy... I came to you because...Well, with you it's all right if I don't know something. You will explain it to me; you won't lie." Spike frowned at her and puffed on his cigarette thoughtfully. "Their is no easy answer for that I'm afraid. Love means something different for everyone." "What does it mean to you? In regards to Buffy I mean." Spike sat for a moment flicking his ashes. He slapped his hand to his thigh and looked at Hope keenly. "For me...love is so many things. First of all, it's unconditional. We've been through some rough patches Buffy and I but we still seem to spark. No matter how bad we've made each other feel in the past...when I look at her I can still see the future. Love is support and discipline. It lives in me and at times it's all that's kept me alive when I felt like the this world would swallow me whole." He looked at her and pursed his lips. "You know what I've done...the blood on my hands and in my soul. Sometimes I think I don't' have a right to still be in this world when I've caused so much pain and destruction; but I push on. I do it for her, because she believes in me. That might not be enough to atone for my evils but it makes me a better man; and in the end that's all that matters. I'm humbled just to be in her life and purified because of all the people in the world; she chose me to love. Do you understand?" "I think so. Just being with her makes you better. You would kill for her wouldn't you?" Spike tossed his cigarette. "I HAVE killed for her. I'd do anything for her." "I see...but...how does it feel? Being in love?" "Feel? It's...nice. I like being wanted...being depended on." "No that's not what I mean." "What like physical?" "Yes.. To hold hands; to kiss and...The other..." Spike chuckled. "I don't think I'm going to be explaining the other to you. My take on that is well...a bit different then most." "Abstract?" "More like...kinky." "Kinky?" "Never you mind." Hope looked over at him amused. "What does a kiss feel like?" "Feel like? A kiss is like...a kiss. I can't explain something like that; I'm not big with the clinical." Hope paused as if letting it sink in and then rose. She slowly made her way over to Spike and looked him up and down levelly. "All right then..Show me."
Spikes eyes widened and he leaned away from her. "Hey.. I don't think I'm the one who should be showing you that." "Why not? I know you'll give me the truth of it." "Maybe you should get someone else to do that for you.. I don't know Andrew or Xander Maybe..." Hope reeled back as if she'd been slapped and her face turned a shade of crimson. "NOT Xander. He can not be the one to...to.." A little light went on in the back of Spike's mind and he suppressed a smile. So that is what this is all about he thought She's got a thing for the boy. "You have feelings for him don't you?" He pressed. Hope looked around like a caged animal. "I don't know...I don't know! I think I feel something...but I don't' know what. That's why I'm here, I need to know!" Spike nodded. "So tell me.. How does he make you feel?" "Warm under the collar. And tingly. Whenever he's around my face feels like it's on fire and my stomach knots up." She sighed and pulled herself up to sit next to him. Spike leaned again to the side but she didn't notice. "I don't know... there are times when he'll look at me and Oh Spike I can barely breath!" She tapped her foot against the side of the shroud. "He's a carpenter.. A constuctioneer and that to me is so boring, yet I hang on to his every word when he talks to me about window sashes or variances in wire degree. I can never remember what he says but I feel compelled to listen. And I find my gaze straying to him much to often. I'm mesmerized by his hair, his eyes..." She blushed harder "...His lips...Is that love?" "Well I don't know. Love is something different to every person. It definitely sounds like there is SOMETHING there though; but what becomes of it is up to you and Xander. I can't govern that." Spike looked over at her and was struck by how young she looked. With her flushed face and nervous nibbling on her lip she could have passed for a teenager. He tapped his finger on the concrete and then nodded resolutely.
"Right then" He said hauling her to her feet. "I'll help you"
"Help me?" "I'm going to teach you how to kiss. Now" he said holding up his hand. "I can't stress enough the importance of no one finding out about this. Most people don't get taught; it's something you have to learn on your own...but" He continued seeing her confusion. "What your doing; protecting Buffy's lot is a real help to her, which kind of makes me in your debt, so I'm going to help you out on this one. I don't' usually do this though, so don't expect a repeat performance." He walked around her in a circle studying her and Hope straitened her self rigidly. "Lesson the first...RELAXE," He said putting his hand on her shoulder. "It can't be good if you're all tensed up. Part of kissing is joining a piece of your body with someone else's. You have to be able to go with the flow. Keep your muscles loose. Hope took a deep breath and commanded herself to relax. She sagged slightly as the tension flowed out of her body. Spike tilted his head in approval. "Better. Now" he said stepping closer. "Close you eyes." "Why?" "Because I want you to concentrate on the sensations. If your eyes are open your going to be too busy reading my reaction to pay attention to what you're doing." "Ok" Hope obediently closed her eyes. "Right then. Now slowly lean forward into me. You'll feel a slight pressure when our lips touch and I want you to answer it with pressure of your own got it?" "Got it" Hope steeled herself and the slowly began to lean toward him eyes still closed. After what seemed like an eternity she felt contact...with his nose...hard. "Ouch!" She exclaimed her eyes popping open. Spike laughed. "Oh sorry! Sometimes you have to tilt your head. Forgot to mention that did I?" "That's one way of looking at is" Hope mumbled rubbing her nose. "Lets try that again. I'll tilt my head one way, you tilt it the other and remember answer my lips with pressure." The second attempt ended with her nose colliding into his cheek. "You tilted the same way I did." "Well how was I supposed to know what way to tilt? My eyes were closed remember?" Spike pursed his lips. "Yea...maybe you should keep your eyes open..At least until you know what you're doing." He took hold of her face in his hands. "Eventually you'll know where to move your head, it will be instinctive but for now I'll guide you. Now lets try again...eyes on me this time." Spike moved closer to her tilting his head to the left while moving hers to the right. This time their lips reached each other. Hope leaned a little more when they touched adding her pressure to his own. His lips were dry and cold. "Good...good. That's a good start. Now this time open your mouth slightly. Kissing is like a rhythm.. You have to move your lips. Like this" He said moving his lips in and out slowly. Hope nodded. Still holding her head in place he guided her in again. This time when their lips met they parted. Hope moved her lips open and closed in time to his. The kiss was interesting but uneventful. She furrowed her brow. "Something wrong?" He asked when they parted. "Is it supposed to feel like that?" "Like what?" "I don't' know.. Ordinary some how... I mean it was ok" she added hastily "Just.. I thought it would be different." "No it won't feel like that. There is no emotion involved here, I'm just teaching you. It's quite different when it's the real deal. You'll probably feel heat; maybe get dizzy and I don't' know hear birds singing, it's different for everyone. Now that you've got that down lets move on and try again. This time no guide." The leaned into each other a third time and Hope successfully met his lips. The kiss was progressing quite nicely when suddenly Hope felt something cold and slimy enter her mouth. She gave a slight choke and pulled away sputtering. "What was that?" Spikes grin was impish "My tongue" Hope made a face "Why?" "It's called a French kiss luv and it's your next step. Surprised you didn't it? It was supposed to. You tensed up and the kiss went bad. What did I tell you about relaxing? You have to be ready for any situation. Now then" He patted her hand. "When we kiss this time I want you extend your tongue into the space our joined lips create. I'm going to massage it with mine. Here" He pulled her closer and wrapped her arms around his neck. "This will give you better leverage." He placed his arms around her waist. "Your doing fine" he said when he saw her apprehension. "The lesson is almost over. Now.. Ready?" "Ready"
When Spikes tongue met hers Hope was prepared and found that it was really quite pleasant. There was satisfaction to the dance of their tongues and spikes lips felt familiar on hers, comforting even. She started to smile but an abrupt rapt on her lower back brought her back to reality. She closed her eyes and concentration on his mouth, her lips meeting his again and again with a primitive pulsating movement. Unconsciously Spikes arms tightened around her waist and she hesitantly threaded her fingers thought the hair at the nap of his neck. This is kind of nice She concluded to herself I could definitely do this someday...With Xander....
Wrapped up in the lesson neither heard the door as it swung open
"What the hell!!"
Buffy sat quietly on the front porch watching the last dying embers of the day melt away into twilight; lost in thought. The last few months had been eventful to say the least. Hope was in many ways like a child in her knowledge of emotions and how the world worked. Buffy smiled to herself as she remembered Hope's first reaction to ice cream. This does not have a pleasing shape her voice had been full of uncertainty. In her mind Buffy saw again the excitement that had swept over Hope's features at the first taste. This is...WONDERFUL! How does it get so cold and yet so good? She'd been so excited that she'd done a little dance and then proceeded to make herself sick by eating three pints of mint chocolate chip in one sitting. It was like that for Hope a lot. Every day was something new and wonderful to her; an adventure, and without knowing it she lifted everyone's Spirits.
Willow was enamored with her knowledge of the Magics. Hope knew so much about the energies and how to use them and she had brought Willow to new depths of understanding her own power and how to control it. Funny magic mistakes happened less and less and Willow was really getting a feel for her special gifts.
Dawn and Hope and become inseparable. Often it was Dawn who would lead Hope in learning that new dance; coax her towards the first step of that new Experience. Having been in the shadows so much Dawn loved her new role as a tutor; relished the opportunity to guide Hope in her every day dealings. In return Hope helped her to see her own self worth; made her feel special and appreciated. Gave her confidence. Hope told her stories of her lives before, taught her simple magic tricks and helped to ease the uncertainty in her soul. Even spike was getting along with her. Like it or not Hope saw him for what he really was, things he tried to hide even from Buffy were naked before her eyes. For her part Hope put aside her past anonymities towards him and treated him with kindness, even grudging respect. Spike got over his mistrust of her and found that her oberservations of people were spot on; thought he suspected that she could read minds a little bit. She never told him such; and he never asked.
Buffy smiled to herself. Xander and Hope... well there was definitely something brewing there. It had taken Xander a while to even talk to her, which caught Buffy's attention right away; Xander was usually the one doing ALL the talking. Slowly over the past several months they had started to spend a great deal of time together. Xander tried to teach her the in's and out's of construction and Hope had smiling bore the long boring lectures. Whenever Xander was around there was always a heightened pinkness to her cheeks, and her voice softened when talking about him; which she did a lot.
Buffy wasn't sure how she felt about Hope. Sometimes It seemed like Hope was a little girl and Buffy wanted to hug her. But then something would happen that would bring out the beast in her and Buffy would be afraid. Usually when it came to some demon or monster. Hope was fiercely protective of them all. Buffy's stomach did a half lurch as she remembered the Demon who had set his sights on Dawn to be his mate. Hope had literally turned him inside out...it hadn't been pretty. When it came to protecting them there was not a line she wouldn't cross and Buffy sometimes wondered what new and disgusting punishment she would come up with next. Buffy bit her lip. It wasn't that Hope wasn't helpful; she was. Buffy felt much better since she had come. All the worried ness had left her and she could concentrate on her duties as slayer without worrying what kind of nasty something was going to come after her friends or sister. She trained harder then ever and had become to the demon world that much more dangerous. Yet... Buffy sighed. She didn't know why, but she was having trouble thinking of Hope as a friend. She supposed she was, but....
The tiny flame of a lighter captured her attention in the deepening dusk. "Well.. That didn't' take long what did you do run all the way hear? I don't' hear you panting." Spike made his way up to the house and sat down next to her. "Even if I had run *which I haven't thanks much* you wouldn't hear me pant." "Oh?" "Sorry luv, you need to be able to breath for that." "Wouldn't be the first time I've heard you pant." Spike grinned. "Naughty girl!" Buffy tossed her head. "Always." Spike raised an eyebrow. "Hm.. Now that's a nice though... but I won't pursue it with the possibility of virgin ears about. So it's patrol then yea?" Buffy yawn and stretched. "Sure.. I guess." "You guess?" "Well things have been..Well...dead lately." "That they have, but you know just when you get all used to that something wholly unbelievable usually pops up." "You're right about that." Spike puffed on his cigarette but said nothing. They sat together in comfortable silence enjoying each other's company. They did that a lot lately. Just hung out, not saying a word just being together. Spike wouldn't admit it to Buffy but it was times like these that he felt closest to her. When she wasn't fretting about some big bad or giving a speech about her headaches at work. When she was like this quiet and reflective, the innocent girl came out. Spike didn't get to see her much and moments like this reminded him why he loved her so much...complex little thing she was.
The silence was broken by Xander's call from the street. "Hey there loafer gal.. And guy wanna give me a hand? He was tottering up the sidewalk with three pizza's in one hand and was hugging three two liters of soda to his chest with the other. Spike got up and took the pizza from him. "Your dinner night eh?" "Nothing but the best for my girls.. Payday man doesn't disappoint." Spike chuckled. "Sure" he said as they made their way inside. Willow, Hope and Dawn were all sitting at the dinner table helping Dawn with her homework. They all looked up at the commotion. "Pizza!" Dawn said Happily. "You got anchovies right?" "Ew dawn that's nasty." "What? I likes the little fishes!" Xander Laughed. "One Anchovy pizza just for you girlie, since you're going to be the only one eating it. Hey Will." He said smiling and then he looked at Hope. His voice softened slightly. "Hey Hope."
Xander... A small knot formed in Hopes stomach, like it always did when she was in close proximity to Xander. She wondered absently if he had some kind of Virus that always made her stomach to summersaults whenever he was near. She smiled tentatively. Wow.. She thought to herself. He is so beautiful. Hope loved to look at Xander; she could spend all day staring at him. She loved how His dark hair was always falling in his face, and how when caught in light she could see the soft red tones in it. She loved his good-natured smile; that lopsided grin always made her knees melt. But most of all she loved his eyes. Those dark orbs held so much mystery for her. There were so many things she didn't understand. She didn't know why she felt the way she did, or what the feeling even was, but she knew somehow, someway Xander could make it all clear to her. She realized with a start that he was waiting for an answer. "Hey Xander" she said hastily. Nice one she thought to herself. Dawn smiled knowingly at her and held out the pizza box. "Come on Hope, I know you're brave enough to help me with this." Hope reached for the pizza but Xander grabbed her hand. "I wouldn't if I were you," he said good-naturedly. A shock shot through Hope's body as their hand touched and she jumped slightly. Xander frowned at her. "You ok?" "Yes thank you." Dawn started to giggle and Hope's cheeks redden further. She looked over and saw Spike's amused expression. She was so confused. She met his gaze and Spike smiled at her. Suddenly a thought flashed in her mind. Spike... spike will know what I'm feeling. He'll be able to tell me why, I'll ask him. She nodded to herself and then looked at Xander. "I'd like a piece of that please."
Hope looked over her shoulder for what seemed to be the millionth time and then chastised herself. Everyone is gone what is your problem? Willow and Dawn were at school, Buffy and Xander at work. This time of the afternoon Hope usually had to herself and she didn't' know why she suddenly felt so nervous. She walked resolutely down the street and stole into the graveyard moving quickly between the rows of the tombstones. Before long she stood before a large stone crypt and she stopped, uncertain about her next move. Did she knock? She decided that might look a little strange so she took a deep breath and slowly opened the old heavy stone door. It was very dark inside and it took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the light. "Spike?" She called hesitantly. She looked around the small room. It was clean and distinctively homey. A small television and chair were situated toward the middle of the room and a fridgerater in the corner. The place had lovely carpet and a beautiful oak in table near one wall. The crypt did not seem like a place of death, save for the stone coffin shroud that stood in the other corner. Hope was so busy looking around her she didn't' notice Spike come up from the downstairs and she nearly jumped out of her skin when he spoke. "Hope?" "Spike! You..You startled me" "The feeling is mutual" "Meaning?" Spike looked her over as he lit his cigarette. "Meaning I don't' usually get visitors during the daylight hours. Something I can help you with?" "Who says I need help? Can't I just come by for a visit? Everyone has jobs or school...Their are many hours to myself." Spike looked her over curiously. Something was up all right. She seemed agitated, nervous even. "You wouldn't come here without a reason. We might get along, but we're not friends. Not really anyway. So I'll ask again nicely and then I'll get cross. How can I help you?" Hope sighed. "May I...sit?" "Yea, you don't need to ask." "Yes I do." "Oh.. Right anyway your here because?" Hope settled herself into the chair and Spike sat on the cement shroud. "I have many questions I need answers." "Go on.." Hope gazed at him speculatively, absently toying with her pinky. Now that she was here she didn't know where to begin...or if she even wanted to.... Was she ready to know?" "You love Buffy." Spike nodded. "I want to know...what is love?" Spike blinked; he hadn't been expecting that one. "Love? You don't know what love is?" Hope gave him a half smile. "Not that kind. Buffy loves Dawn, she's her sister. I understand that. I also understand the love between Willow and Buffy, the love of a friend. But between man and woman...er...demon in your case...I don't understand. I can't ask Buffy... I came to you because...Well, with you it's all right if I don't know something. You will explain it to me; you won't lie." Spike frowned at her and puffed on his cigarette thoughtfully. "Their is no easy answer for that I'm afraid. Love means something different for everyone." "What does it mean to you? In regards to Buffy I mean." Spike sat for a moment flicking his ashes. He slapped his hand to his thigh and looked at Hope keenly. "For me...love is so many things. First of all, it's unconditional. We've been through some rough patches Buffy and I but we still seem to spark. No matter how bad we've made each other feel in the past...when I look at her I can still see the future. Love is support and discipline. It lives in me and at times it's all that's kept me alive when I felt like the this world would swallow me whole." He looked at her and pursed his lips. "You know what I've done...the blood on my hands and in my soul. Sometimes I think I don't' have a right to still be in this world when I've caused so much pain and destruction; but I push on. I do it for her, because she believes in me. That might not be enough to atone for my evils but it makes me a better man; and in the end that's all that matters. I'm humbled just to be in her life and purified because of all the people in the world; she chose me to love. Do you understand?" "I think so. Just being with her makes you better. You would kill for her wouldn't you?" Spike tossed his cigarette. "I HAVE killed for her. I'd do anything for her." "I see...but...how does it feel? Being in love?" "Feel? It's...nice. I like being wanted...being depended on." "No that's not what I mean." "What like physical?" "Yes.. To hold hands; to kiss and...The other..." Spike chuckled. "I don't think I'm going to be explaining the other to you. My take on that is well...a bit different then most." "Abstract?" "More like...kinky." "Kinky?" "Never you mind." Hope looked over at him amused. "What does a kiss feel like?" "Feel like? A kiss is like...a kiss. I can't explain something like that; I'm not big with the clinical." Hope paused as if letting it sink in and then rose. She slowly made her way over to Spike and looked him up and down levelly. "All right then..Show me."
Spikes eyes widened and he leaned away from her. "Hey.. I don't think I'm the one who should be showing you that." "Why not? I know you'll give me the truth of it." "Maybe you should get someone else to do that for you.. I don't know Andrew or Xander Maybe..." Hope reeled back as if she'd been slapped and her face turned a shade of crimson. "NOT Xander. He can not be the one to...to.." A little light went on in the back of Spike's mind and he suppressed a smile. So that is what this is all about he thought She's got a thing for the boy. "You have feelings for him don't you?" He pressed. Hope looked around like a caged animal. "I don't know...I don't know! I think I feel something...but I don't' know what. That's why I'm here, I need to know!" Spike nodded. "So tell me.. How does he make you feel?" "Warm under the collar. And tingly. Whenever he's around my face feels like it's on fire and my stomach knots up." She sighed and pulled herself up to sit next to him. Spike leaned again to the side but she didn't notice. "I don't know... there are times when he'll look at me and Oh Spike I can barely breath!" She tapped her foot against the side of the shroud. "He's a carpenter.. A constuctioneer and that to me is so boring, yet I hang on to his every word when he talks to me about window sashes or variances in wire degree. I can never remember what he says but I feel compelled to listen. And I find my gaze straying to him much to often. I'm mesmerized by his hair, his eyes..." She blushed harder "...His lips...Is that love?" "Well I don't know. Love is something different to every person. It definitely sounds like there is SOMETHING there though; but what becomes of it is up to you and Xander. I can't govern that." Spike looked over at her and was struck by how young she looked. With her flushed face and nervous nibbling on her lip she could have passed for a teenager. He tapped his finger on the concrete and then nodded resolutely.
"Right then" He said hauling her to her feet. "I'll help you"
"Help me?" "I'm going to teach you how to kiss. Now" he said holding up his hand. "I can't stress enough the importance of no one finding out about this. Most people don't get taught; it's something you have to learn on your own...but" He continued seeing her confusion. "What your doing; protecting Buffy's lot is a real help to her, which kind of makes me in your debt, so I'm going to help you out on this one. I don't' usually do this though, so don't expect a repeat performance." He walked around her in a circle studying her and Hope straitened her self rigidly. "Lesson the first...RELAXE," He said putting his hand on her shoulder. "It can't be good if you're all tensed up. Part of kissing is joining a piece of your body with someone else's. You have to be able to go with the flow. Keep your muscles loose. Hope took a deep breath and commanded herself to relax. She sagged slightly as the tension flowed out of her body. Spike tilted his head in approval. "Better. Now" he said stepping closer. "Close you eyes." "Why?" "Because I want you to concentrate on the sensations. If your eyes are open your going to be too busy reading my reaction to pay attention to what you're doing." "Ok" Hope obediently closed her eyes. "Right then. Now slowly lean forward into me. You'll feel a slight pressure when our lips touch and I want you to answer it with pressure of your own got it?" "Got it" Hope steeled herself and the slowly began to lean toward him eyes still closed. After what seemed like an eternity she felt contact...with his nose...hard. "Ouch!" She exclaimed her eyes popping open. Spike laughed. "Oh sorry! Sometimes you have to tilt your head. Forgot to mention that did I?" "That's one way of looking at is" Hope mumbled rubbing her nose. "Lets try that again. I'll tilt my head one way, you tilt it the other and remember answer my lips with pressure." The second attempt ended with her nose colliding into his cheek. "You tilted the same way I did." "Well how was I supposed to know what way to tilt? My eyes were closed remember?" Spike pursed his lips. "Yea...maybe you should keep your eyes open..At least until you know what you're doing." He took hold of her face in his hands. "Eventually you'll know where to move your head, it will be instinctive but for now I'll guide you. Now lets try again...eyes on me this time." Spike moved closer to her tilting his head to the left while moving hers to the right. This time their lips reached each other. Hope leaned a little more when they touched adding her pressure to his own. His lips were dry and cold. "Good...good. That's a good start. Now this time open your mouth slightly. Kissing is like a rhythm.. You have to move your lips. Like this" He said moving his lips in and out slowly. Hope nodded. Still holding her head in place he guided her in again. This time when their lips met they parted. Hope moved her lips open and closed in time to his. The kiss was interesting but uneventful. She furrowed her brow. "Something wrong?" He asked when they parted. "Is it supposed to feel like that?" "Like what?" "I don't' know.. Ordinary some how... I mean it was ok" she added hastily "Just.. I thought it would be different." "No it won't feel like that. There is no emotion involved here, I'm just teaching you. It's quite different when it's the real deal. You'll probably feel heat; maybe get dizzy and I don't' know hear birds singing, it's different for everyone. Now that you've got that down lets move on and try again. This time no guide." The leaned into each other a third time and Hope successfully met his lips. The kiss was progressing quite nicely when suddenly Hope felt something cold and slimy enter her mouth. She gave a slight choke and pulled away sputtering. "What was that?" Spikes grin was impish "My tongue" Hope made a face "Why?" "It's called a French kiss luv and it's your next step. Surprised you didn't it? It was supposed to. You tensed up and the kiss went bad. What did I tell you about relaxing? You have to be ready for any situation. Now then" He patted her hand. "When we kiss this time I want you extend your tongue into the space our joined lips create. I'm going to massage it with mine. Here" He pulled her closer and wrapped her arms around his neck. "This will give you better leverage." He placed his arms around her waist. "Your doing fine" he said when he saw her apprehension. "The lesson is almost over. Now.. Ready?" "Ready"
When Spikes tongue met hers Hope was prepared and found that it was really quite pleasant. There was satisfaction to the dance of their tongues and spikes lips felt familiar on hers, comforting even. She started to smile but an abrupt rapt on her lower back brought her back to reality. She closed her eyes and concentration on his mouth, her lips meeting his again and again with a primitive pulsating movement. Unconsciously Spikes arms tightened around her waist and she hesitantly threaded her fingers thought the hair at the nap of his neck. This is kind of nice She concluded to herself I could definitely do this someday...With Xander....
Wrapped up in the lesson neither heard the door as it swung open
"What the hell!!"