I Survived
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss. . . etc. so on and so forth. You know the drill. Pairing: Buffy/Angel Summary: I was watching last weeks Buffy episode, and noticed that Buffy was wearing a shirt that said 'I Survived.' Then it hit me. "I'm going to write the back story for that shirt!" I told myself. I hope it's okay. . . . it seemed like a good idea at the time. A bit angsty. Rating: PG - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Angel, could you please get the phone? My nails are drying." Cordelia called from her desk. Angel sighed and headed over to the incessently ringing phone.
**Probably another phone solicitor,** Angel thought. **Now those are some people I wouldn't mind eating.** "Hello, Angel Investigations."
"Angel? It's Willow." When Angel heard the name, if he was alive his heart would have skipped a beat.
"Yes?" Angel's voice wavered slightly. Willow always seemed to be the bearer of bad news lately, and he didn't think he could take any more.
"It's Buffy. She's alive. I . . . I brought her back . . . . . . . . . . Angel? Are you still there." Angel was shocked. **Alive? But . . .**
"Oh. Thanks." He hung up on Willow and sunk down onto one of the plush benches in the lobby of his hotel and cradled his head in his hands. It was so much to deal with. He had spent three months dealing with it, and now she was back. All of a sudden it hit him like a sledge hammer. Buffy was alive. He had to see her.
Angel sprung up out of his seat and ran to the phone, dialing the all too familiar number.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Buffy set the phone back down in its cradle and took a deep breath. Angel wanted to see her. **I can do this. I can face him.** Putting on a Willowesque resove face, Buffy grabbed her purse and headed towards the front door. After giving Giles a brief explaination she hurried out the door and headed for the bus depot before she could change her mind.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Angel sped down the highway, going about ninety miles over the speed limit, but he could care less. He was on his way to see Buffy, and that was all that mattered. Even though he had no idea what he was going to say to her. **What does one say to someone who just returned from the dead?**
The two were scheduled to meet just after dusk the next evening, and at the rate he was going he would be there a good ten hours early.
He drove by a sign by the highway for some innocuous town, and taking in a deep breath, he decided to stop, get out one of his blood bags, and calm down. It wouldn't do anybody any good to meet Buffy in the frantic state he was currently in.
Fifteen minutes later Angel pulled his black convertible into a parking space on the main street. He got out and ran hand through his carefully gelled hair as he looked at his surroundings. **Very quaint** he thought. Angel locked his car and headed towards the general store.
The bell over the door dinged as Angel stepped through the front door. It was as if he had instantly been teleported back in time. An old musky aroma of rotting wood filled the store. On the far wall fresh fruit and meat was displayed, while on the right hand side a selection of brightly-colored clothing was hung on tacky plastic hangers.
Angel strolled aimlessly up and down the aisles, picking up his favorite snack food, Little Debbie's Swiss Cake Rolls as he went. He walked beside the clothes, fingering the cheap material, but then he stopped. A slow smile spread across Angel's face as he eyed his prize.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Buffy got off the bus in Morrisville, a small beach town about half way between Sunnydale and Los Angeles. She and Angel had agreed to meet there because it was neutral turf, so to speak. They could talk without any of their friends around. It was easier that way.
She breathed in the salty air that seemed to permeate the entire town as she twisted a tendril of her blond hair around her left pointer finger in a nervous gesture she had done since she was a little kid. Buffy looked around and decided to get a cup of hot cocoa to calm her nerves before dusk came in a couple of hours.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Buffy dug her toes into the warm sand as the waves washed over her bare ankles and the wind swept her hair and floral sun dress out behind her. She turned her face upwards and closed her eyes, feeling the sea spray sting her face. The ocean always soothed her, and today was no exception.
She felt his presence before she heard him. Then he spoke the one word with which he always managed to reduce her to a puddle on the floor: her name.
"Buffy," he breathed. She turned around to face him and he gasped at the beauty in front of him. In the months since he had last seen her she had let her blond hair grow down past her shoulders in soft waves. Her face was still as beautiful as it had always been. She could still take his nonexistent breath away. Still, it was also impossible to miss the unnatural palor to her skin and the pain in her dead eyes.
**Oh my god. If someone doesn't do something . . . .** Angel didn't even want to think about it. At that moment Angel resolved to try to put some life back in her eyes before they parted ways again.
"Hi Angel." Buffy turned up the left side of her mouth in a half-hearted false smile.
Angel couldn't help himself. He covered the feet between them in a few short strides and took her in his arms. Buffy tensed momentarily, then relaxed into his familiar embrace.
"My god, Buffy. I thought you were dead. I . . . and your not. You're here. You're really here." Buffy could feel Angel's tears on her bare back.
"Yeah. I'm here." Angel could tell that Buffy was not at all happy about that statement.
He pulled away from her and held her shoulders with his big hands at an arm's length and stared into her eyes. "You don't want to be alive." It was a statement, not a question.
"No." It was but one word spoken softly, but its meaning was unmistakable. She had been happy. Wherever she was, she had been happy. Now she had been returned to a hell where she had no true desire to my.
Angel gathered Buffy back up into a hug and just held her. No words were spoken. None were necessary.
After what seemed like an eternity the two star-crossed lovers wiped their eyes and stepped away. Buffy looked up at Angel, who gave her his most charming and reassuring smile.
"Come on. I always loved the ocean. When I was a kid, the water off the coast of Ireland was freezing, but I would drag me sister and me mum into the water and we'd splash around for hours." As Angel recounted one of his fondest childhood memories, he slipped back into his natural brogue, and Buffy actually smiled, for the first time since she returned. It always pleased her to listen to him talk about his home.
It reminded her of the time after Angel had returned from hell during her Senior Year. They would sit in each others arms in front of a blazing fire in the mansion's fireplace. She would wrap her arms around him, lay her head on his chest, close her eyes, and listen as his soft voice told her happy stories of his childhood back in Ireland.
Buffy was shaken from her revere as Angel kicked off his shoes and socks and dragged her into the water. He released her hand as they entered the water and the two of them stood there facing each other. Angel smiled slightly sadistically, reminding Buffy of Angelus, and she stepped away, slightly nervous. Angel stepped forward as well, and, before Buffy knew what had happened, he had launched himself at her and the two of them were lying in a heap in the shallow water. Angel sat up, water dripping down his nose from his wet hair, which was now plastered to his forehead. Drenched, Buffy came up sputtering and Angel laughed out loud. Buffy glared at him at shot her right hand out pushing him backwards into the water, quelling his laughter instantly. Angel then splashed Buffy and the war was on.
If anyone had walked by they would have seen two previously very broody, and very unhappy, individuals laughing uproariously and dunking each other in the sea water.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
An hour or so later, the couple emerged, very wet and, on Buffy's part, rather cold. They walked up the beach to Angel's car, where he produced some spare clothes from his trunk.
Buffy looked at the clothes that Angel had thrown her and quirked an eyebrow at the large, red velvet shirt and black slacks. "These will never fit me." Angel didn't look up and simply threw her a belt. Buffy snorted somewhat derisively. "Thanks."
She moved behind his convertible and quickly changed into the clothes. Buffy rolled up the pant legs until they were just below her knees. She looked down at her bare calves and frowned. **Well, I look rediculous, but at least I can walk.** When she emerged from her changing spot, Angel had also changed into similar garments, only his shirt was black. **Same old Angel,** Buffy thought.
"I had better get back." **Why do I feel so dissapointed? He and me equal pain. Remember that. But this wasn't so bad.**
"Yeah. Would you like a ride back to Sunnydale?"
"That's okay. I kinda like the bus. Gives me time to think."
"Alright. At least let me drive you to the bus depot." Buffy opened her mouth to protest, then shut it and nodded in aquiescence.
Angel opened the door to the passenger side and helped Buffy in before moving around to the driver's side. **Always the gentleman.**
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Angel pulled up in front of the old bus depot and turned to look at the young woman beside him. She turned her head to look back at him and she smiled softly. Angel noticed that this smile reached her eyes.
Angel looked at her slightly disheveled, wet appearance. **Oh fuck it.** He leaned over and placed a soft kiss upon her lips. Startled at first, Buffy froze, then she melted against him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Angel felt her responding and deepened the kiss, growing more passionate. Finally, he remembered that she needed to breath and he reluctantly pulled away.
Her lips slightly swollen from the kiss, Buffy looked back at him with wide hazel eyes. He smiled proudly to himself. "Oh, Buffy. I got something for you."
Her eyes brightened in childish glee at the prospect of a gift. "Really? Angel, you didn't have to - "
"I know," he interrupted. "I wanted to." Angel reached over behind her seat and revealed a medium paper bag. "I'm sorry it's not wrapped. I saw it on the way here and thought of you."
Buffy slowly opened the bag and pulled out a baby-tee just her size. It had a crew neck with blue cap sleeves and blue around the collar. On the front it had a picture of a red demony-type creature emerging from the earth. At the top it read, 'I Survived.' Buffy read it and looked up at Angel.
"Now, every time you wear it you can remember, no matter what happens or what you have been through, you are strong. You survived."
Buffy leaned over and placed another small kiss on Angel's mouth. "Thank you. It's wonderful."
Then she got out of the car and walked towards her bus. Angel sat in his convertible and watched after her until she boarded the bus and it drove away. Then he shook his head, started the ignition, and headed back to LA. The City of Angels.
End
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss. . . etc. so on and so forth. You know the drill. Pairing: Buffy/Angel Summary: I was watching last weeks Buffy episode, and noticed that Buffy was wearing a shirt that said 'I Survived.' Then it hit me. "I'm going to write the back story for that shirt!" I told myself. I hope it's okay. . . . it seemed like a good idea at the time. A bit angsty. Rating: PG - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"Angel, could you please get the phone? My nails are drying." Cordelia called from her desk. Angel sighed and headed over to the incessently ringing phone.
**Probably another phone solicitor,** Angel thought. **Now those are some people I wouldn't mind eating.** "Hello, Angel Investigations."
"Angel? It's Willow." When Angel heard the name, if he was alive his heart would have skipped a beat.
"Yes?" Angel's voice wavered slightly. Willow always seemed to be the bearer of bad news lately, and he didn't think he could take any more.
"It's Buffy. She's alive. I . . . I brought her back . . . . . . . . . . Angel? Are you still there." Angel was shocked. **Alive? But . . .**
"Oh. Thanks." He hung up on Willow and sunk down onto one of the plush benches in the lobby of his hotel and cradled his head in his hands. It was so much to deal with. He had spent three months dealing with it, and now she was back. All of a sudden it hit him like a sledge hammer. Buffy was alive. He had to see her.
Angel sprung up out of his seat and ran to the phone, dialing the all too familiar number.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Buffy set the phone back down in its cradle and took a deep breath. Angel wanted to see her. **I can do this. I can face him.** Putting on a Willowesque resove face, Buffy grabbed her purse and headed towards the front door. After giving Giles a brief explaination she hurried out the door and headed for the bus depot before she could change her mind.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Angel sped down the highway, going about ninety miles over the speed limit, but he could care less. He was on his way to see Buffy, and that was all that mattered. Even though he had no idea what he was going to say to her. **What does one say to someone who just returned from the dead?**
The two were scheduled to meet just after dusk the next evening, and at the rate he was going he would be there a good ten hours early.
He drove by a sign by the highway for some innocuous town, and taking in a deep breath, he decided to stop, get out one of his blood bags, and calm down. It wouldn't do anybody any good to meet Buffy in the frantic state he was currently in.
Fifteen minutes later Angel pulled his black convertible into a parking space on the main street. He got out and ran hand through his carefully gelled hair as he looked at his surroundings. **Very quaint** he thought. Angel locked his car and headed towards the general store.
The bell over the door dinged as Angel stepped through the front door. It was as if he had instantly been teleported back in time. An old musky aroma of rotting wood filled the store. On the far wall fresh fruit and meat was displayed, while on the right hand side a selection of brightly-colored clothing was hung on tacky plastic hangers.
Angel strolled aimlessly up and down the aisles, picking up his favorite snack food, Little Debbie's Swiss Cake Rolls as he went. He walked beside the clothes, fingering the cheap material, but then he stopped. A slow smile spread across Angel's face as he eyed his prize.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Buffy got off the bus in Morrisville, a small beach town about half way between Sunnydale and Los Angeles. She and Angel had agreed to meet there because it was neutral turf, so to speak. They could talk without any of their friends around. It was easier that way.
She breathed in the salty air that seemed to permeate the entire town as she twisted a tendril of her blond hair around her left pointer finger in a nervous gesture she had done since she was a little kid. Buffy looked around and decided to get a cup of hot cocoa to calm her nerves before dusk came in a couple of hours.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Buffy dug her toes into the warm sand as the waves washed over her bare ankles and the wind swept her hair and floral sun dress out behind her. She turned her face upwards and closed her eyes, feeling the sea spray sting her face. The ocean always soothed her, and today was no exception.
She felt his presence before she heard him. Then he spoke the one word with which he always managed to reduce her to a puddle on the floor: her name.
"Buffy," he breathed. She turned around to face him and he gasped at the beauty in front of him. In the months since he had last seen her she had let her blond hair grow down past her shoulders in soft waves. Her face was still as beautiful as it had always been. She could still take his nonexistent breath away. Still, it was also impossible to miss the unnatural palor to her skin and the pain in her dead eyes.
**Oh my god. If someone doesn't do something . . . .** Angel didn't even want to think about it. At that moment Angel resolved to try to put some life back in her eyes before they parted ways again.
"Hi Angel." Buffy turned up the left side of her mouth in a half-hearted false smile.
Angel couldn't help himself. He covered the feet between them in a few short strides and took her in his arms. Buffy tensed momentarily, then relaxed into his familiar embrace.
"My god, Buffy. I thought you were dead. I . . . and your not. You're here. You're really here." Buffy could feel Angel's tears on her bare back.
"Yeah. I'm here." Angel could tell that Buffy was not at all happy about that statement.
He pulled away from her and held her shoulders with his big hands at an arm's length and stared into her eyes. "You don't want to be alive." It was a statement, not a question.
"No." It was but one word spoken softly, but its meaning was unmistakable. She had been happy. Wherever she was, she had been happy. Now she had been returned to a hell where she had no true desire to my.
Angel gathered Buffy back up into a hug and just held her. No words were spoken. None were necessary.
After what seemed like an eternity the two star-crossed lovers wiped their eyes and stepped away. Buffy looked up at Angel, who gave her his most charming and reassuring smile.
"Come on. I always loved the ocean. When I was a kid, the water off the coast of Ireland was freezing, but I would drag me sister and me mum into the water and we'd splash around for hours." As Angel recounted one of his fondest childhood memories, he slipped back into his natural brogue, and Buffy actually smiled, for the first time since she returned. It always pleased her to listen to him talk about his home.
It reminded her of the time after Angel had returned from hell during her Senior Year. They would sit in each others arms in front of a blazing fire in the mansion's fireplace. She would wrap her arms around him, lay her head on his chest, close her eyes, and listen as his soft voice told her happy stories of his childhood back in Ireland.
Buffy was shaken from her revere as Angel kicked off his shoes and socks and dragged her into the water. He released her hand as they entered the water and the two of them stood there facing each other. Angel smiled slightly sadistically, reminding Buffy of Angelus, and she stepped away, slightly nervous. Angel stepped forward as well, and, before Buffy knew what had happened, he had launched himself at her and the two of them were lying in a heap in the shallow water. Angel sat up, water dripping down his nose from his wet hair, which was now plastered to his forehead. Drenched, Buffy came up sputtering and Angel laughed out loud. Buffy glared at him at shot her right hand out pushing him backwards into the water, quelling his laughter instantly. Angel then splashed Buffy and the war was on.
If anyone had walked by they would have seen two previously very broody, and very unhappy, individuals laughing uproariously and dunking each other in the sea water.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
An hour or so later, the couple emerged, very wet and, on Buffy's part, rather cold. They walked up the beach to Angel's car, where he produced some spare clothes from his trunk.
Buffy looked at the clothes that Angel had thrown her and quirked an eyebrow at the large, red velvet shirt and black slacks. "These will never fit me." Angel didn't look up and simply threw her a belt. Buffy snorted somewhat derisively. "Thanks."
She moved behind his convertible and quickly changed into the clothes. Buffy rolled up the pant legs until they were just below her knees. She looked down at her bare calves and frowned. **Well, I look rediculous, but at least I can walk.** When she emerged from her changing spot, Angel had also changed into similar garments, only his shirt was black. **Same old Angel,** Buffy thought.
"I had better get back." **Why do I feel so dissapointed? He and me equal pain. Remember that. But this wasn't so bad.**
"Yeah. Would you like a ride back to Sunnydale?"
"That's okay. I kinda like the bus. Gives me time to think."
"Alright. At least let me drive you to the bus depot." Buffy opened her mouth to protest, then shut it and nodded in aquiescence.
Angel opened the door to the passenger side and helped Buffy in before moving around to the driver's side. **Always the gentleman.**
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Angel pulled up in front of the old bus depot and turned to look at the young woman beside him. She turned her head to look back at him and she smiled softly. Angel noticed that this smile reached her eyes.
Angel looked at her slightly disheveled, wet appearance. **Oh fuck it.** He leaned over and placed a soft kiss upon her lips. Startled at first, Buffy froze, then she melted against him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Angel felt her responding and deepened the kiss, growing more passionate. Finally, he remembered that she needed to breath and he reluctantly pulled away.
Her lips slightly swollen from the kiss, Buffy looked back at him with wide hazel eyes. He smiled proudly to himself. "Oh, Buffy. I got something for you."
Her eyes brightened in childish glee at the prospect of a gift. "Really? Angel, you didn't have to - "
"I know," he interrupted. "I wanted to." Angel reached over behind her seat and revealed a medium paper bag. "I'm sorry it's not wrapped. I saw it on the way here and thought of you."
Buffy slowly opened the bag and pulled out a baby-tee just her size. It had a crew neck with blue cap sleeves and blue around the collar. On the front it had a picture of a red demony-type creature emerging from the earth. At the top it read, 'I Survived.' Buffy read it and looked up at Angel.
"Now, every time you wear it you can remember, no matter what happens or what you have been through, you are strong. You survived."
Buffy leaned over and placed another small kiss on Angel's mouth. "Thank you. It's wonderful."
Then she got out of the car and walked towards her bus. Angel sat in his convertible and watched after her until she boarded the bus and it drove away. Then he shook his head, started the ignition, and headed back to LA. The City of Angels.
End