Chapter 4: Realisations

Hermione sat head in hands and an uncomfortable silence hung in the air, she hadn't said a word since she had arrived at Lavenders house. Lavender hadn't attempted to engage her in conversation; everything that she could think of discussing would most likely seem trivial to Hermione at this point.

She missed him already even thought she had seen him only this morning, she still loved him and a small part of her still hoped that what she saw was simply an illusion, a trick of the light and that any moment Harry would come over and everything would go back to normal. But then the events of the past few days and hours would come flooding back to her; seeing Harry meet Cho, hearing them talk on the phone, then today seeing Harry give her a ring and finally kissing her; any hope she had left would vanish.

A loud ringing noise brought welcome relief to the torment she kept putting herself through as she repeatedly ran over the day's events in her mind. Lifting her head from her hands she could see Lavender making her way over to her telephone before pressing the button marked 'speakerphone'.

"Hello" She said politely.

"Um...Hello?" replied an uncertain male voice.

Hermione's head shot up to full attention. She recognised that voice anywhere. It was Harry and from the chocked up sound of it he had been crying.

Lavender frowned; she guessed he would call sooner or later "Hello Harry." she said in mock surprise.

"Is Hermione there?" he asked, the usual cheerfulness in his voice now gone, yet still slightly hopeful.

"Yes she is Harry." Lavender replied. "But she doesn't want to speak to you."

"Please can I talk to her?"

"No Harry." She said shortly "She doesn't want to talk to you, not now, not ever."

"I really need to talk to her!" he asked desperately.

"Why Harry? Why should I let you talk to her?

"Because I love her and I need to explain…" he whispered.

Lavender shook her head; he was only making things worse "She doesn't want you Harry. Did you honestly think she would?"

"Please…" he choked back a sob.

Hermione shut her eyes, concentrating on the sound of Harry's voice. Although she was angry and felt that she had been betrayed it still broke her heart to hear him like this; he seemed genuinely anguished at her leaving. One part of her wanted to reach out to him and comfort him, telling him that everything would be okay and that she was there for him. However another, sceptical side of her told her that this could all be an act on his part and even if it wasn't it served him right, he'd brought it on himself. The only way of knowing for sure was at this moment beyond her reach; if she could see his eyes she would know in an instant if he was truthful or not.

Hermione opened her eyes realising that Harry was no longer talking. Silence had replaced the sound of his voice and was only disrupted by the occasional sniffle.

Both Lavender and Hermione looked at the telephone, waiting for him to speak, at length he did. His voice was quiet and uneven "I'm sorry it had to end this way" he began "Please tell Hermione that I love her and I always will." his voice faltered. "Where ever I am…"

Hermione scrambled up from her chair, she didn't want thing to end this way, she couldn't let thing end this way

"Harry?" she asked gingerly, but she was too late, he had gone.

~~~~~~~

Ron got up from behind his desk; he glanced at the clock on the wall, 10:15pm

'If all is going to plan, Harry should be happily engaged by now' he thought as he picked up his jacket and apparated home.

He appeared him his front room moments later. The first thing he was Hermione and his wife Lavender talking on the sofa. This puzzled him for a moment 'Isn't she supposed to be with Harry right now?' But then he was hit with a sudden realisation 'Must be planning the wedding already'.

"Eager aren't we? He grinned.

Hermione looked at Lavender than at Ron "What?" she asked, puzzled by his statement.

"Planning the wedding." he said simply.

"What wedding?" Lavender asked, wondering what on earth he was talking about.

"Yours" he replied looking straight at Hermione. "Harry's had it planned for weeks, he's got a ring and everything; picked it up today!"

Hermione furrowed her eyebrows in though, before looking up suddenly.

.

"Where did he get the ring?" she asked urgently.

Ron scratched his head "Cho's jewellers I think; met her in the park today damned expensive too" he looked at Hermione suspiciously. "Why?"

Hermione's eye's widened slightly in realisation; the ring was meant for her, not Cho 'How could I be so stupid?' she cursed.

"Oh God…" she said, looking down at her feet.

"What?"

"I left him."

Ron blinked, but kept his gaze firmly on Hermione. Suddenly he burst out laughing "Nice one Hermione, you almost had me for a minute there!"

Hermione remained silent.

Ron abruptly stopped laughing, "You're serious aren't you?" he asked, barley able to his surprise.

She nodded.

His expression hardened "What the hell did you do that for?" he demanded, "He was about to propose!"

"Ron!" Lavender shouted.

Hermione shrunk backwards and brought her hand up to her face "I know, its just I saw him meet her yesterday, then I heard them talking on the phone and today I was sure I saw Harry give her a ring then kiss her. I was so convinced that he was cheating on me I never stopped to think it could be anything else" her voice trembled. "I'm so stupid, why I couldn't have trusted him?"

Ron expression immediately softened as reached his hand out sympathetically as he saw the tears streaming down her face "Hermione, it's not that bad, I'm sure Harry will forgive you."

She shook her head furiously "No he won't, I said some awful things to him."

"I'm sure he'll come round, it's not that bad." he said firmly as he put his hand on her shoulder "He loves you Hermione, nothing will change that."

She backed away so that his hand fell from her shoulder "How could it get any worse?" she shouted "I left him and told him I never wanted to see him again, only hours before he was going to ask me to marry him!" she sank back on to the sofa sobbing "He sounded so broken."

Ron stood in silence as he ran over the event of they day; he paled as he remembered the conversation he had with Harry earlier that morning 'living without her it just…well…not an option'; there was no telling what Harry would do.

"What? What is it Ron?" Lavender asked; worried about Ron's sudden change in complexion.

"Harry" he whispered before apparating out again.

~~~~~

Harry sat cross-legged on the living room floor of what could only now only be described as 'his' house, seeing as from now on he would be the sole occupant of it. He gazed at the many dozens of moving photographs that were in front of him, the quill that was in his hand dropped to the ground as he caught sight of one particular image; it was in fact the same one that resided on his office desk. He sighed, what was the point in this? It was just a memories one of the many memories that they had created together, memories that now existed only in photographic form scattered around him. Memories; they were all he had left, memories of her, but memories alone were not enough for him to live on; not when he knew that there would be no new memories.

He turned his attention to another photograph that was laying next his foot; he reached over to pick it up. He sighed a second time when he realised what it was; it was of his parents wedding; they were both stood outside the church holding hands and smiling enthusiastically at each other. It was exactly twenty-five years since that day; it was the day that he hoped would be the beginning of his road to marriage, to spend the rest of his life with the one he loved. But instead it was the first day of the rest of his life alone. A lifetime without Hermione, he concluded, was a very lonely and miserable one indeed; after all the suffering he'd been through, was it too much to ask for just a little bit of happiness? Evidently it was and now the person he'd truly cared about had been taken away from him. A life without her was one that he was not prepared to accept, it was either a life with her or no life at all; the choice it seemed had already been made for him.

He picked up his quill and finished his letter; Hermione deserved to know the truth, even if she believed it or not. He reached in to his pocket and drew out the small velvety box that contained the ring; he placed it with the letter on the coffee table that stood in the middle of the room, before turning his attention to what was directly in front of him.

He looked at the thin blade, a single thought running through his mind; if no one in this life wanted him then he would go a place where someone did.

~~~~~~~~

Ron appeared in Harry's kitchen not a moment after he'd apparated from his own house.

He quickly looked around "Harry?" he called.

No reply.

He quickly moved from room to room calling his name until he entered the living room.

Harry lay on the floor before him, his arms covered in his own blood. Ron put his hand up to his mouth, suddenly feeling very nauseous.

"Oh God." he mumbled to himself "What have you done to yourself Harry?"

Ron shook himself, he should be helping his best friend, not standing there looking at him. He quickly moved to his side to check for a pulse; he found one…just. He shook Harry gently.

"Harry, can you hear me?" he asked, clutching Harry's hand in his.

Harry opened his eyes slightly "Who is it?" he struggled.

"Harry its Ron, don't try to speak, you're going to be okay." he said, trying to sound more confident that he felt.

"Tell her I love her." he chocked out.

"No Harry, you tell her yourself, you're going be okay just hang on" he blinked back tears that threatened to fall; it killed him to see his friend this way.

Ron received no reply; he felt Harry's hand go limp in his.

"Just hang on Harry." he whispered as he took Harry unconscious form in his hand and apparated to the nearest hospital.

A/N: I know I haven't updated in weeks and for that I'm sorry, work and writing don't go together. Hopefully you won't completely hate me for this chapter: P. Thanks for all the people who reviewed, the last couple nudged me in to action to finally complete this chapter J