The money maker-
First, before we get started with the show, lets have a little update session shall we?
First off, lets start off with the newest member of the GWF, Scott Hoxit, or as we will call him now, Scotty Too Hotty. Scotty 2 Hotty Doesn't have no real gimmick other then he's a 12 yr old kid with blonde hair, really scrawny wheres glasses, and has a bad case of A.D.D. Originally he wasn't going to join, but then he threatened to burn our ring and proceded to trying to burn the trampoline, so, We beat the crap out of him, told him what to do, and VOILA! An instant new superstar! But is he the only new superstar? Just watch and learn as the GWF brings you the craptacularness that is...
THE MONEY MAKER!
( our new pyrotechnic's guy, Greg's little brother, Jeff, stick some roman candles in the ground on the way to the ring, lights them up, and watches them explode. He runs back to his parents. The crowd looks somewhat larger by about 1 new person, the janitor at our school named Dan. All the rest are the same people from last time. K-dogg runs to the ring to iron man to run down tonites card.)
Kdogg: Good evening everyone and welcome to another great show from the GWF! Tonites card is grand and awesome. Let me run down it.
Bart Hart vs. El Jobber: El Jobber comes out to fasten his jobbing skills as he goes against the Excellence of crap-o-cution.BART HART. Will bart hart make el jobber submit or will he win some other way?We'll just have to wait and see.
The Hatchet vs. Scotty 2 Hotty: Brother vs. Brother. Blood vs. Blood. Family vs. Family. Who will prevail in the war of the brothers? Will Scotty 2 Hotty 's Ritalin last long enough in this match to keep his attention span focused on the hatchet. Or will the Hatchet drop the hatchet ring on Scotty?
White Cracka G vs. Yardtard (Hardcore match) the rematch nobody has been waiting for! Yardtard's crappyness could continue through this match, or will White Cracka G somehow carry The slave of XTREEEME through a good match?
Goldpsycho vs. Hoga (Ladder match): that's right, a ladder match. Hanging from a tree limb above the ladder are two dollars, which both of these ..teenagers.want. Will hoga get the two dollars and buy himself a can of beenie weenies or will goldpsycho get them and put them in his bank account?
Crisco Inferno vs. golfberg (rights to beat the crap out of yardtard next month) Yardtard seemingly has ticked off both of these guys, and both want to beat the guy down! Who will prevail as the Disco Dancing, Crisco advertising, Ford truck riding (WHOOO! Sorry, Ric flair moment) flaming machine, takes on the almighty Golfberg! Will Golfberg end up putting for a double bogey?
HSK vs. The Nudertaker (number 1 contenders match for GWF title): The nudertaker has proved himself worthy of a title shot after his beating he gave to crisco inferno. HSK...well I dunno what he did. But anyways, it should be one great match!
Kdogg vs The Rick. The great uno, the rick finally gets a shot at the most prestigous title in all of GWF. Kdogg, is ready, The Rick is ready, but the question is..ARE YOU READY!? Then lets GET READY TO TUMBLEEEEEEE!
(Kdogg walks to the back as El Jobber slides into the ring in a blue ski mask and baggy camo pants as "weird mexican music" plays. It seems that Old Man Roberts doesn't like "those darn illegal aliens" and proceeds to whacking El jobber in the knee with his cane, even though El Jobber is actually white underneath. Bret's theme hits and bart hart comes out in his leather jacket and overalls. He gives his cheap 1.00 glasses to his girlfriend, then gives her a kiss, causing Old Man Roberts to whack him in the head with his cane because he doesn't like "Those darn punk kids and their premarital sex."with both men down before the match starts, the ref starts counting...1..2...3..4..5..El jobber gets up and punches Bart! The crowd goes crazy! Jobber got some offense in! Bart punches El Jobber back knocking Jobber down and out cold. Reverse chinlock by Bart!Jobber gets up and Bart hart turns the chinlock into a legsweep! Bart hits a running kneedrop to the cranium of el Jobber. EYE GOUGE OF DOOM by Bart Hart! Wait whats this? El Jobber gives up to the EYE GOUGE OF DOOM! The crowd goes wild as El Jobber rolls out of the tramporing injured. Bart hart celebrates in the ring, but wait, from behind.ITS JANITOR DAN! Janitor dan knocks Bart Harts legs out from under him with a broomstick! Janitor dan hits him throat first with it! The crowd boos and Old Man Roberts throws his cane at the janitor and yells about "those low life high school graduates who never could get a real life." Janitor dan goes under the tramporing and grabs a..a..omg...no...not that.A BUCKET OF PUKE ( dog food mixed with chili,doritos, and lemonade plus some dead rats to make it stink even worse.) Dan pours the puke on Bart hart! The crowd boos wildly as Dan gets out of the ring and goes inside the house. The Pyrotechnic guy drags Bart to the outside of the ring as Hoga's music hits. The crowd just stares blankly as Hoga walks out in his red and yellow sweatsuit.Hoga grabs the Karaoke mic.)
Hoga: You know something Hogamaniacs?Right after I took that two dollars from goldpsycho That Bozo Kdogg took the money from me and told me I would have to fight for it! Well you know what brother? Fighting is what I do best! Definitely for two dollars! I would be rich! So, Goldpsycho, you better be ready for a beating, because Hogamania will run wild on you!!!!!!
(Hoga walks back to the house. "I like big butts" hits as the hatchet comes out carrying his hatchet. He gets in the ring and waits for his brother. "Scotty 2 Hotty's" theme hits as Scotty 2 Hotty runs out and shakes the ropes wildly, the jumps on hatchet's back and punds away at his face! Hatchet falls back nearly crushing Scotty. Hatchet kicks Scotty in the ribs several times, then slaps him in his face. But wait, Scotty bites Hatchet in the nose and wont let go! Hatchet screams in pain as Scotty doesn't let go of the nose bite. Hatchet throws scotty over his shoulders to the outside of the ring! It seems scotty landed right on a big rock. Scotty kicks and screams in pain.Scotty tries to get back in the ring but Hatchet kicks him back! Scotty falls backwards Scotty tries again, but gets his face rammed into the trampoline railing. Scotty's lip is busted. Scotty gets in the ring and starts punching at the hatchet wildly but to no evail. Oh no.wait..SCOTTY KICKS HATCHET IN THE WALNUTS! Hatchet falls down in pain and gets up and tackles scotty and starts punching him in the face!Scotty tries to get him off but cant. Hatchet stands up..oh no..HATCHET DROP! 1..2..3! hatchet wins! Scotty is a bloody mess and his glasses are broke. Scotty flips Hatchet off, mounts his four wheeler and rides back to his house. Hatchet gets out of the ring victorious and goes into the house.)
(The Rock's theme hits as The Rick comes out in his preppy clothes. The Rick gets in the ring and grabs the mic to many cheers and boo's.)
The Rick: FINALLY THE RICK.HAS COME BACK.TO..ATLANTA GEORGIA! (crowd stares blankly) So finally, the great uno, the rick, gets his title shot he so truly deserves, finally, the rick gets a chance to prove himself worthy of the championships by laying the chopdown on kdoggs Candy Cane! So be prepared Kdogg, because when I get out there, im gonna take your little..uhh...Glasses..sine them up and stick them up a dogs butt! IF YOU SMELALALALALALALALALAOW..WHAT THE RICK.IS..COOKING.
(The rick walks back to the house, just as "Thugz mansion" by Tupac hits and White Cracka G walks out with head phones on rapping on his way to the ring. "Weird annoyinh rock music" plays as yardtard runs out wearing glow in the dark paint and flailing his arms around yelling XTREEEEEME and blade his arm continuously. YARDTARD gets in the ring and blades his forehead and flails his arms some more. White cracka attack from behind with a Eminem "infinite" Vinyl album! Yardtard goes over the ropes, lands on his shoulder gets up, does a backflip landing on his head before running his shoulder into the oak tree. White Cracka kicks yardtard in the stomach. Yardtard does a front flip. White cracka grabs the PINK CHAIR OF DOOM! WHAM! Right over yardtards head. Yardtard falls limp. White cracka puts the chair against the tree then throws Yardtard into it. Yard tard yell loudly and blades his forehead deeply. Yardtard gives white cracka a sloppy kick to the stomach and what looks like some sort of ugly sloppy DDT onto the chair. Yardtard gets on the trampoline and does the hardy boys sign then does a crappy front flip landing jaw first on the ground and missing White cracka by a good two feet. White Cracka picks yardtard up and throws him into the oak tree and continuously rams his head into it. White cracks whips yardtard into the Tramporing. White Cracka gets in and leg drops Yardtard causing Yardtard to flip over twice and throw himself intot he metal posting holding up the ropes. Cracka grabs Yardtard and DDT's him. Cracka hits the The homie G Bomb to the doggs in the ghetto. 1.2.3! Cracka wins! Cracka grabs a mic. )
White Cracka G: Yo whats up G doggs! Peace out to the westide of my homey doggs. Yo, dawgs, I just want to let you know that this match is dedicated to my main brotha tupac, my main dogg. And remember dawgs, he is returning!
(White cracka walks back off.)
(The ladder is set in the middle of the tramporing as "Psycho" by SOAD hits and Goldpsycho walks out accompanied by Silver Psycho. Gold walks out to decent sized cheers. It seems gregs mom likes guys in spandex jumpsuits.the weirdo. Hoga's theme hits and the crowd goes absolutely nuts, which wakes Old Man Roberts up and makes him start cussing. Hoga walks out and goes around the fans asking for money. Hoga gets in the ring and does Hogans taunts.The bell ( a piece of tin and a stick) rings and the match begins. Hoga and Gold circle eachother to start. They lock up. Headlock by hoga, but Gold irish whips him into the ropes and powerslams him.Gold gets the ladder and quickly sets it up, but remember, this is a trampoline. Hoga jumps up and down sending the ladder down. Hoga clotheslines Gold then twistes his face with his foot (Eddy guererro style) Hoga poses for the crowd, and Silver tries to trip him, getting hogas attention as Gold german suplexes Hoga. Gold grabs the ladder and rams it into the rib cage of Hoga. Gold sets the ladder up while silver holds it down. Hoga breaks Silvers hand from the ladder and pushes the lader over causing Gold to bounce of the mat and land outside! Hoga quickly sets the ladder up and climbs, but wait. Silver hits Hoga in the back with a chair! Hoga falls over. Gold crawls back in with the chair and bustes it over his head again. Suplex onto the chair! Gold rubs his body. Crowd...stares. Old Man Roberts complains about "Those damn homosexuals wearing tight clothing" Gold starts climbing again. Hes almost to the top but hoga is climbing as well. They exchange punches before the ladder tips over due to the weight! They both fall to the outside. Hoga lands face first in dog crap too. Hoga realizes he landed in dog crap and throws up on Gold who throws up as well. After hoga gets a towel to wipe the dog crap on his face he rams Gold into the trampoling railing then throws him back in. Silver low blows Hoga from behind with a metal pipe! Ouch! Silver kicks hoga in the face! Gold starts climbing the ladder, but hoga is under the tramporing and pushes it over from down under! Gold luckily land sin the ring this time. Silver tries to attack with a chair but Hoga takes it away from him and blasts him with it instead! Hoga gets in the ring. Some random fan throws a chip in the ring. Hoga sees it and eats it! Gold gets up and punches Hoga. NO EFFECT! Hoga is Hogging up!!! Gold tries some more punches to no evail before hoga clotheslines Gold and hits the mediocre leg drop! Hoga climbs the ladder and luckily grabs the 2.00 before the ladder falls over! HOGA WINS! THE CROWD GOES CRAZY! Hoga goes crazy and runs all the way to the tote a poke as silver na dgold limp back to the house.)
("Shake your booty plays" as Crisco inferno runs out in a Crisco T Shirt with a sparkly vest over it. He tells the fans to buy Crisco while disco dancing. He gets on the trampoling railing opens the crisco bottle and drinks it then spits it out HHH style! EW! Crisco gets in the ring and grabs a mic)
Crisco: Hey my funk Brothers! Who wants to see the flaming machine totally criscoize Golfberg?(crowd is dead)..alright then. DISCO IS NOT DEAD! * Thrustes pelvis*
(Golfberg's theme hits and the crowd goes crazy as Golfbegr runs to the ring and immediately takes Crisco down and punches him wildy. Golfberg picks him up and whips him into the ropes for a flying shoulder tackle. Crisco crawls to the corner (where the metal posts are) And Golfbegr gives him a footchoke. Nut jab! Golfberg falls down in pain. Crisco climbs on the second rope and hits a flying lariat! Crisco disco dances and golfberg locks in the MAIN EVENT SLEEPER. Crisco is dozing...dozing..hes gone.1...2...NO! hes still alive. He fires back with a punch, a punch, thrustes pelvis and a punch. Or what he calls the Crisco Funk Punches. Golfberg no sells and punches Crisco in the ribs and throws him into the ropes. Spear. And some more punches. Golfberg gives him another footchoke then another sleeper. Golfberg then beats his chest wildly and grabs his nine iron. He big boots Crisco and locks in the figure Fore leg lock! Crisco is about to tap when.wait..Its YARDTARD! He grabs the bottle of crisco and throws it into golfbergs face then throws it on his own arm. Yardtard lights his arm on fire, then gives golfberg a FLAMING SLOPPY CLOTHESLINE setting golfbergs face on fire! Crisco looks for the bottle of Crisco buts see's that its all gone. Crisco attacks Yardtard with the Crisco funk Punches sending Yardtard out of the ring with a backflip spraining Yardtards ankle. Golfberg rolls Crisco up with his nine iron!1..2..3!!!! GOLFBERG WINS! Golfberg goes chasing after yardtard with his nine iron as yardtard flails his arms to the house. Golfberg mounts his golfcart and runs over yardtard! Then locks in the Figure Fore leg lock! Superstars run out and kick Yardtard to break the hold.because they hate him also. Golfberg walks back into the house beating his chest.
While the pyrotechnic guy drags Yardtard back into the house. Doctors office sounds play as Heart Stopping kid walks out with a scalpel and a syringe. HSK is yelling "Choppy choppy of Nude mans Wee wee". Suddenly, "Odd rock music" hits and the nudertaker drives into the scene on his four wheeler. He goes to go all around the Tramporing but HSK baseball kicks Nudertaker off from inside the ring. HSK gets on the trampoling railing and elbows Nudertaker in the head he grabs the scalpel and tries to cut off Nudies wee wee but Nudertaker holds it back and kicks HSK in the stomach and throws him into the barbwire. Butt thump onto HSK by Nudertaker! Nudertaker throws HSK in the ring. Nudertaker chokes HSK inside the ring but HSK puts a Blood pressure thing on Nudies neck and pumps it up and isnt stopping! Nudey goes down and his face is getting red. Nudey stands up and jerks the blood pressure thing off of his neck. Superkick by HSK! HSK grabs his syringe and tries to stick it in Nudertakers arm but Nudertaker grabs him by the neck and double handed chokeslams him. Uh oh. Nudertaker hikes up his thong and slaps his butt cheeks. He goes for the stinkface but HSK INSERTS THE NEEDLE INTO NUDERTAKERS BUTTCHEEK! Nudertaker jumps up supries and pulls it out. HSK didn't have time to put the medicine in! Nudertaker throws the needle out of the ring and HSK gets out of the ring and points to his head saying "im smart." Then Nudertaker grabs him by his hair and pulls him onto the railing then throws him into the ring. Nudertaker slaps HSK in the head a little. Then sets him up for a powerbomb. HSK puts a glove on after being powerbombed secretly. Nudertaker hikes it up again and goes for the stinkface again. HSK STICKS HIS HAND INTO THE CRACK OF THE NUDERTAKER! Nudertaker falls down in pain holding his butt. HSK gets ready for some sweet Hospital music. Nudertaker catches his foot and turns it into a chokeslam! Oh no.and finally.THE STINKFACE.but wait..Nudey adds extra flavor by farting!!! Nudertaker pins HSK..1..2..3!!!!Nudertaker wins and is the number 1 contender for the title! HSK starts throwing up furiously as he walks back to the house. Nudertaker celebrates in the ring before mounting his fourwheeler and driving back to the house. John's grandpa ( the referee)grabs the mic and reads from a cue card)
Grandpa Culpepper: and uhh.now..its time for the (squints) Main? Event? Introducing first..
(the Rocks theme hits as the rick walks out with his 5.00 sunglasses from the dollar store and his 20.00 tommy hilfiger shirt. He walks out to the boos from the crowd. Old Man Roberts complains about "Those darn stuck up rich kids and there pop music".)
Grandpa Culpepper: From Hodgen oklahoma, The Great uno..THE RICK! And now introducing the champion...
("Iron Man"hits and the crowd goes wild as Kdogg runs out in his Harley davidson shirt and Regular cargo pants. He gets in the tramporing and jumps on the turnbuckle. He does the RVD taunt. Kdogg and the rick stand in the middle of the ring as the crowd..clap? and old man roberts complains about "Being home before the price is right comes on" Kdogg and Rick talks smack. Rick turns around and goes for a cheap shot but Kdogg blocks it and clobbers Rick into the ropes. Irish whip and a knee to the stomach send srick to the corner. Spinning wheel kick by Kdogg. Top rope leg drop by Kdogg misses. Suplex by the rick! The rick slaps Kdogg two times, spits in his hand and rubs his hand in Kdogg's face with Kdogg distracted by that Rick runs off the ropes and bulldogs Kdogg. The rick flips off one of his friends in the crowd causing Old Man Roberts to hit The Rick in the leg with his cane! Rick falls down in pain! Kdogg hits a senton splash!1.2.no! Kdogg goes tot he outside of the ring and grabs a ALUMINUM PIE HOLDER OF DOOM. He gets back in the ring, raise sht epie holder above Ricks head, and John's Grandpa takes it from him! Kdogg argues with him causing the rick to roll him up.1..2..NO! The rick slaps the mat angrily and slams Kdogg down. Elbo by The rick. Pinfall..1.2.no! Rick arghues with the ref. Kdogg takes The rick's leg out and locks in a half Crab! Rick is in pain! Rick reaches for the rope and fnally grabs it! Ricks gets up, Kdogg runs off the ropes, Backdrop to the outside, but wait, Kdogg lande don the mat! Hangman neck choke onto the ropes! Kdogg gets back in the ring. Basement drops kick to the knees of the rick. Kdogg signals that this is about to be over but wait..some guy ride on a bikes to the ring.who the? He gets in the ring and DDT's Kdogg! The man goe sback to his bike and grabs out of the bicycle basket a big rolled up bunch of nespapers. He hits Kdogg in the head with them! Kdogg turns around dazed into the RICK BOTTOM! Here it comes. He takes of his timmy hilifger shirt...runs off the ropes. THE RICK PEOPLE'S ELBOW! 1...2...3!!!! THE RICK IS NEW GWF CHAMPION! The Rick runs back tot he house quickly as this new guy grabs a mic.
Guy: you all know who I am...I'm the one that tells you whats happening in the weather, im the one who tells you funny jokes and challenges you with hard crosswords. I tell you last nights results of the local sports team. I ride on a bike for a minimum wage of 2.00 a paper..that's right..im..THE PAPERBOY! And I challenge you Kdogg next month because you didnt pay your subscription! Since I screwed you out of the title, ill make this a number one contenders match as well...so be ready..and watch out.because the Paperboy.HAS BAD AIM AT THROWING PAPERS! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.(jumps on his bicycle and peddles back down the street.)
We debuted two consecutive new stars..Janitor Dan.who is now the oldest man in the fed at the age of 30, and The Paperboy. Whos a guy name dAndrew Smithwick in real life. With this show over we made a total of 32.00! giving us a total amount of 62.00! expect more improvements as our bank account gets larger. Watch out WWE The GWF is breaking through quickly! Tune in next month as, in honor of Wrestlemania..we hold...BACKYARDMANIA I !
OOOOSHOOO
First, before we get started with the show, lets have a little update session shall we?
First off, lets start off with the newest member of the GWF, Scott Hoxit, or as we will call him now, Scotty Too Hotty. Scotty 2 Hotty Doesn't have no real gimmick other then he's a 12 yr old kid with blonde hair, really scrawny wheres glasses, and has a bad case of A.D.D. Originally he wasn't going to join, but then he threatened to burn our ring and proceded to trying to burn the trampoline, so, We beat the crap out of him, told him what to do, and VOILA! An instant new superstar! But is he the only new superstar? Just watch and learn as the GWF brings you the craptacularness that is...
THE MONEY MAKER!
( our new pyrotechnic's guy, Greg's little brother, Jeff, stick some roman candles in the ground on the way to the ring, lights them up, and watches them explode. He runs back to his parents. The crowd looks somewhat larger by about 1 new person, the janitor at our school named Dan. All the rest are the same people from last time. K-dogg runs to the ring to iron man to run down tonites card.)
Kdogg: Good evening everyone and welcome to another great show from the GWF! Tonites card is grand and awesome. Let me run down it.
Bart Hart vs. El Jobber: El Jobber comes out to fasten his jobbing skills as he goes against the Excellence of crap-o-cution.BART HART. Will bart hart make el jobber submit or will he win some other way?We'll just have to wait and see.
The Hatchet vs. Scotty 2 Hotty: Brother vs. Brother. Blood vs. Blood. Family vs. Family. Who will prevail in the war of the brothers? Will Scotty 2 Hotty 's Ritalin last long enough in this match to keep his attention span focused on the hatchet. Or will the Hatchet drop the hatchet ring on Scotty?
White Cracka G vs. Yardtard (Hardcore match) the rematch nobody has been waiting for! Yardtard's crappyness could continue through this match, or will White Cracka G somehow carry The slave of XTREEEME through a good match?
Goldpsycho vs. Hoga (Ladder match): that's right, a ladder match. Hanging from a tree limb above the ladder are two dollars, which both of these ..teenagers.want. Will hoga get the two dollars and buy himself a can of beenie weenies or will goldpsycho get them and put them in his bank account?
Crisco Inferno vs. golfberg (rights to beat the crap out of yardtard next month) Yardtard seemingly has ticked off both of these guys, and both want to beat the guy down! Who will prevail as the Disco Dancing, Crisco advertising, Ford truck riding (WHOOO! Sorry, Ric flair moment) flaming machine, takes on the almighty Golfberg! Will Golfberg end up putting for a double bogey?
HSK vs. The Nudertaker (number 1 contenders match for GWF title): The nudertaker has proved himself worthy of a title shot after his beating he gave to crisco inferno. HSK...well I dunno what he did. But anyways, it should be one great match!
Kdogg vs The Rick. The great uno, the rick finally gets a shot at the most prestigous title in all of GWF. Kdogg, is ready, The Rick is ready, but the question is..ARE YOU READY!? Then lets GET READY TO TUMBLEEEEEEE!
(Kdogg walks to the back as El Jobber slides into the ring in a blue ski mask and baggy camo pants as "weird mexican music" plays. It seems that Old Man Roberts doesn't like "those darn illegal aliens" and proceeds to whacking El jobber in the knee with his cane, even though El Jobber is actually white underneath. Bret's theme hits and bart hart comes out in his leather jacket and overalls. He gives his cheap 1.00 glasses to his girlfriend, then gives her a kiss, causing Old Man Roberts to whack him in the head with his cane because he doesn't like "Those darn punk kids and their premarital sex."with both men down before the match starts, the ref starts counting...1..2...3..4..5..El jobber gets up and punches Bart! The crowd goes crazy! Jobber got some offense in! Bart punches El Jobber back knocking Jobber down and out cold. Reverse chinlock by Bart!Jobber gets up and Bart hart turns the chinlock into a legsweep! Bart hits a running kneedrop to the cranium of el Jobber. EYE GOUGE OF DOOM by Bart Hart! Wait whats this? El Jobber gives up to the EYE GOUGE OF DOOM! The crowd goes wild as El Jobber rolls out of the tramporing injured. Bart hart celebrates in the ring, but wait, from behind.ITS JANITOR DAN! Janitor dan knocks Bart Harts legs out from under him with a broomstick! Janitor dan hits him throat first with it! The crowd boos and Old Man Roberts throws his cane at the janitor and yells about "those low life high school graduates who never could get a real life." Janitor dan goes under the tramporing and grabs a..a..omg...no...not that.A BUCKET OF PUKE ( dog food mixed with chili,doritos, and lemonade plus some dead rats to make it stink even worse.) Dan pours the puke on Bart hart! The crowd boos wildly as Dan gets out of the ring and goes inside the house. The Pyrotechnic guy drags Bart to the outside of the ring as Hoga's music hits. The crowd just stares blankly as Hoga walks out in his red and yellow sweatsuit.Hoga grabs the Karaoke mic.)
Hoga: You know something Hogamaniacs?Right after I took that two dollars from goldpsycho That Bozo Kdogg took the money from me and told me I would have to fight for it! Well you know what brother? Fighting is what I do best! Definitely for two dollars! I would be rich! So, Goldpsycho, you better be ready for a beating, because Hogamania will run wild on you!!!!!!
(Hoga walks back to the house. "I like big butts" hits as the hatchet comes out carrying his hatchet. He gets in the ring and waits for his brother. "Scotty 2 Hotty's" theme hits as Scotty 2 Hotty runs out and shakes the ropes wildly, the jumps on hatchet's back and punds away at his face! Hatchet falls back nearly crushing Scotty. Hatchet kicks Scotty in the ribs several times, then slaps him in his face. But wait, Scotty bites Hatchet in the nose and wont let go! Hatchet screams in pain as Scotty doesn't let go of the nose bite. Hatchet throws scotty over his shoulders to the outside of the ring! It seems scotty landed right on a big rock. Scotty kicks and screams in pain.Scotty tries to get back in the ring but Hatchet kicks him back! Scotty falls backwards Scotty tries again, but gets his face rammed into the trampoline railing. Scotty's lip is busted. Scotty gets in the ring and starts punching at the hatchet wildly but to no evail. Oh no.wait..SCOTTY KICKS HATCHET IN THE WALNUTS! Hatchet falls down in pain and gets up and tackles scotty and starts punching him in the face!Scotty tries to get him off but cant. Hatchet stands up..oh no..HATCHET DROP! 1..2..3! hatchet wins! Scotty is a bloody mess and his glasses are broke. Scotty flips Hatchet off, mounts his four wheeler and rides back to his house. Hatchet gets out of the ring victorious and goes into the house.)
(The Rock's theme hits as The Rick comes out in his preppy clothes. The Rick gets in the ring and grabs the mic to many cheers and boo's.)
The Rick: FINALLY THE RICK.HAS COME BACK.TO..ATLANTA GEORGIA! (crowd stares blankly) So finally, the great uno, the rick, gets his title shot he so truly deserves, finally, the rick gets a chance to prove himself worthy of the championships by laying the chopdown on kdoggs Candy Cane! So be prepared Kdogg, because when I get out there, im gonna take your little..uhh...Glasses..sine them up and stick them up a dogs butt! IF YOU SMELALALALALALALALALAOW..WHAT THE RICK.IS..COOKING.
(The rick walks back to the house, just as "Thugz mansion" by Tupac hits and White Cracka G walks out with head phones on rapping on his way to the ring. "Weird annoyinh rock music" plays as yardtard runs out wearing glow in the dark paint and flailing his arms around yelling XTREEEEEME and blade his arm continuously. YARDTARD gets in the ring and blades his forehead and flails his arms some more. White cracka attack from behind with a Eminem "infinite" Vinyl album! Yardtard goes over the ropes, lands on his shoulder gets up, does a backflip landing on his head before running his shoulder into the oak tree. White Cracka kicks yardtard in the stomach. Yardtard does a front flip. White cracka grabs the PINK CHAIR OF DOOM! WHAM! Right over yardtards head. Yardtard falls limp. White cracka puts the chair against the tree then throws Yardtard into it. Yard tard yell loudly and blades his forehead deeply. Yardtard gives white cracka a sloppy kick to the stomach and what looks like some sort of ugly sloppy DDT onto the chair. Yardtard gets on the trampoline and does the hardy boys sign then does a crappy front flip landing jaw first on the ground and missing White cracka by a good two feet. White Cracka picks yardtard up and throws him into the oak tree and continuously rams his head into it. White cracks whips yardtard into the Tramporing. White Cracka gets in and leg drops Yardtard causing Yardtard to flip over twice and throw himself intot he metal posting holding up the ropes. Cracka grabs Yardtard and DDT's him. Cracka hits the The homie G Bomb to the doggs in the ghetto. 1.2.3! Cracka wins! Cracka grabs a mic. )
White Cracka G: Yo whats up G doggs! Peace out to the westide of my homey doggs. Yo, dawgs, I just want to let you know that this match is dedicated to my main brotha tupac, my main dogg. And remember dawgs, he is returning!
(White cracka walks back off.)
(The ladder is set in the middle of the tramporing as "Psycho" by SOAD hits and Goldpsycho walks out accompanied by Silver Psycho. Gold walks out to decent sized cheers. It seems gregs mom likes guys in spandex jumpsuits.the weirdo. Hoga's theme hits and the crowd goes absolutely nuts, which wakes Old Man Roberts up and makes him start cussing. Hoga walks out and goes around the fans asking for money. Hoga gets in the ring and does Hogans taunts.The bell ( a piece of tin and a stick) rings and the match begins. Hoga and Gold circle eachother to start. They lock up. Headlock by hoga, but Gold irish whips him into the ropes and powerslams him.Gold gets the ladder and quickly sets it up, but remember, this is a trampoline. Hoga jumps up and down sending the ladder down. Hoga clotheslines Gold then twistes his face with his foot (Eddy guererro style) Hoga poses for the crowd, and Silver tries to trip him, getting hogas attention as Gold german suplexes Hoga. Gold grabs the ladder and rams it into the rib cage of Hoga. Gold sets the ladder up while silver holds it down. Hoga breaks Silvers hand from the ladder and pushes the lader over causing Gold to bounce of the mat and land outside! Hoga quickly sets the ladder up and climbs, but wait. Silver hits Hoga in the back with a chair! Hoga falls over. Gold crawls back in with the chair and bustes it over his head again. Suplex onto the chair! Gold rubs his body. Crowd...stares. Old Man Roberts complains about "Those damn homosexuals wearing tight clothing" Gold starts climbing again. Hes almost to the top but hoga is climbing as well. They exchange punches before the ladder tips over due to the weight! They both fall to the outside. Hoga lands face first in dog crap too. Hoga realizes he landed in dog crap and throws up on Gold who throws up as well. After hoga gets a towel to wipe the dog crap on his face he rams Gold into the trampoling railing then throws him back in. Silver low blows Hoga from behind with a metal pipe! Ouch! Silver kicks hoga in the face! Gold starts climbing the ladder, but hoga is under the tramporing and pushes it over from down under! Gold luckily land sin the ring this time. Silver tries to attack with a chair but Hoga takes it away from him and blasts him with it instead! Hoga gets in the ring. Some random fan throws a chip in the ring. Hoga sees it and eats it! Gold gets up and punches Hoga. NO EFFECT! Hoga is Hogging up!!! Gold tries some more punches to no evail before hoga clotheslines Gold and hits the mediocre leg drop! Hoga climbs the ladder and luckily grabs the 2.00 before the ladder falls over! HOGA WINS! THE CROWD GOES CRAZY! Hoga goes crazy and runs all the way to the tote a poke as silver na dgold limp back to the house.)
("Shake your booty plays" as Crisco inferno runs out in a Crisco T Shirt with a sparkly vest over it. He tells the fans to buy Crisco while disco dancing. He gets on the trampoling railing opens the crisco bottle and drinks it then spits it out HHH style! EW! Crisco gets in the ring and grabs a mic)
Crisco: Hey my funk Brothers! Who wants to see the flaming machine totally criscoize Golfberg?(crowd is dead)..alright then. DISCO IS NOT DEAD! * Thrustes pelvis*
(Golfberg's theme hits and the crowd goes crazy as Golfbegr runs to the ring and immediately takes Crisco down and punches him wildy. Golfberg picks him up and whips him into the ropes for a flying shoulder tackle. Crisco crawls to the corner (where the metal posts are) And Golfbegr gives him a footchoke. Nut jab! Golfberg falls down in pain. Crisco climbs on the second rope and hits a flying lariat! Crisco disco dances and golfberg locks in the MAIN EVENT SLEEPER. Crisco is dozing...dozing..hes gone.1...2...NO! hes still alive. He fires back with a punch, a punch, thrustes pelvis and a punch. Or what he calls the Crisco Funk Punches. Golfberg no sells and punches Crisco in the ribs and throws him into the ropes. Spear. And some more punches. Golfberg gives him another footchoke then another sleeper. Golfberg then beats his chest wildly and grabs his nine iron. He big boots Crisco and locks in the figure Fore leg lock! Crisco is about to tap when.wait..Its YARDTARD! He grabs the bottle of crisco and throws it into golfbergs face then throws it on his own arm. Yardtard lights his arm on fire, then gives golfberg a FLAMING SLOPPY CLOTHESLINE setting golfbergs face on fire! Crisco looks for the bottle of Crisco buts see's that its all gone. Crisco attacks Yardtard with the Crisco funk Punches sending Yardtard out of the ring with a backflip spraining Yardtards ankle. Golfberg rolls Crisco up with his nine iron!1..2..3!!!! GOLFBERG WINS! Golfberg goes chasing after yardtard with his nine iron as yardtard flails his arms to the house. Golfberg mounts his golfcart and runs over yardtard! Then locks in the Figure Fore leg lock! Superstars run out and kick Yardtard to break the hold.because they hate him also. Golfberg walks back into the house beating his chest.
While the pyrotechnic guy drags Yardtard back into the house. Doctors office sounds play as Heart Stopping kid walks out with a scalpel and a syringe. HSK is yelling "Choppy choppy of Nude mans Wee wee". Suddenly, "Odd rock music" hits and the nudertaker drives into the scene on his four wheeler. He goes to go all around the Tramporing but HSK baseball kicks Nudertaker off from inside the ring. HSK gets on the trampoling railing and elbows Nudertaker in the head he grabs the scalpel and tries to cut off Nudies wee wee but Nudertaker holds it back and kicks HSK in the stomach and throws him into the barbwire. Butt thump onto HSK by Nudertaker! Nudertaker throws HSK in the ring. Nudertaker chokes HSK inside the ring but HSK puts a Blood pressure thing on Nudies neck and pumps it up and isnt stopping! Nudey goes down and his face is getting red. Nudey stands up and jerks the blood pressure thing off of his neck. Superkick by HSK! HSK grabs his syringe and tries to stick it in Nudertakers arm but Nudertaker grabs him by the neck and double handed chokeslams him. Uh oh. Nudertaker hikes up his thong and slaps his butt cheeks. He goes for the stinkface but HSK INSERTS THE NEEDLE INTO NUDERTAKERS BUTTCHEEK! Nudertaker jumps up supries and pulls it out. HSK didn't have time to put the medicine in! Nudertaker throws the needle out of the ring and HSK gets out of the ring and points to his head saying "im smart." Then Nudertaker grabs him by his hair and pulls him onto the railing then throws him into the ring. Nudertaker slaps HSK in the head a little. Then sets him up for a powerbomb. HSK puts a glove on after being powerbombed secretly. Nudertaker hikes it up again and goes for the stinkface again. HSK STICKS HIS HAND INTO THE CRACK OF THE NUDERTAKER! Nudertaker falls down in pain holding his butt. HSK gets ready for some sweet Hospital music. Nudertaker catches his foot and turns it into a chokeslam! Oh no.and finally.THE STINKFACE.but wait..Nudey adds extra flavor by farting!!! Nudertaker pins HSK..1..2..3!!!!Nudertaker wins and is the number 1 contender for the title! HSK starts throwing up furiously as he walks back to the house. Nudertaker celebrates in the ring before mounting his fourwheeler and driving back to the house. John's grandpa ( the referee)grabs the mic and reads from a cue card)
Grandpa Culpepper: and uhh.now..its time for the (squints) Main? Event? Introducing first..
(the Rocks theme hits as the rick walks out with his 5.00 sunglasses from the dollar store and his 20.00 tommy hilfiger shirt. He walks out to the boos from the crowd. Old Man Roberts complains about "Those darn stuck up rich kids and there pop music".)
Grandpa Culpepper: From Hodgen oklahoma, The Great uno..THE RICK! And now introducing the champion...
("Iron Man"hits and the crowd goes wild as Kdogg runs out in his Harley davidson shirt and Regular cargo pants. He gets in the tramporing and jumps on the turnbuckle. He does the RVD taunt. Kdogg and the rick stand in the middle of the ring as the crowd..clap? and old man roberts complains about "Being home before the price is right comes on" Kdogg and Rick talks smack. Rick turns around and goes for a cheap shot but Kdogg blocks it and clobbers Rick into the ropes. Irish whip and a knee to the stomach send srick to the corner. Spinning wheel kick by Kdogg. Top rope leg drop by Kdogg misses. Suplex by the rick! The rick slaps Kdogg two times, spits in his hand and rubs his hand in Kdogg's face with Kdogg distracted by that Rick runs off the ropes and bulldogs Kdogg. The rick flips off one of his friends in the crowd causing Old Man Roberts to hit The Rick in the leg with his cane! Rick falls down in pain! Kdogg hits a senton splash!1.2.no! Kdogg goes tot he outside of the ring and grabs a ALUMINUM PIE HOLDER OF DOOM. He gets back in the ring, raise sht epie holder above Ricks head, and John's Grandpa takes it from him! Kdogg argues with him causing the rick to roll him up.1..2..NO! The rick slaps the mat angrily and slams Kdogg down. Elbo by The rick. Pinfall..1.2.no! Rick arghues with the ref. Kdogg takes The rick's leg out and locks in a half Crab! Rick is in pain! Rick reaches for the rope and fnally grabs it! Ricks gets up, Kdogg runs off the ropes, Backdrop to the outside, but wait, Kdogg lande don the mat! Hangman neck choke onto the ropes! Kdogg gets back in the ring. Basement drops kick to the knees of the rick. Kdogg signals that this is about to be over but wait..some guy ride on a bikes to the ring.who the? He gets in the ring and DDT's Kdogg! The man goe sback to his bike and grabs out of the bicycle basket a big rolled up bunch of nespapers. He hits Kdogg in the head with them! Kdogg turns around dazed into the RICK BOTTOM! Here it comes. He takes of his timmy hilifger shirt...runs off the ropes. THE RICK PEOPLE'S ELBOW! 1...2...3!!!! THE RICK IS NEW GWF CHAMPION! The Rick runs back tot he house quickly as this new guy grabs a mic.
Guy: you all know who I am...I'm the one that tells you whats happening in the weather, im the one who tells you funny jokes and challenges you with hard crosswords. I tell you last nights results of the local sports team. I ride on a bike for a minimum wage of 2.00 a paper..that's right..im..THE PAPERBOY! And I challenge you Kdogg next month because you didnt pay your subscription! Since I screwed you out of the title, ill make this a number one contenders match as well...so be ready..and watch out.because the Paperboy.HAS BAD AIM AT THROWING PAPERS! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.(jumps on his bicycle and peddles back down the street.)
We debuted two consecutive new stars..Janitor Dan.who is now the oldest man in the fed at the age of 30, and The Paperboy. Whos a guy name dAndrew Smithwick in real life. With this show over we made a total of 32.00! giving us a total amount of 62.00! expect more improvements as our bank account gets larger. Watch out WWE The GWF is breaking through quickly! Tune in next month as, in honor of Wrestlemania..we hold...BACKYARDMANIA I !
OOOOSHOOO