Injustice, Surveillance Equipment, and (Various Kinds of) Pizza
Brought to you by Bishie Hunter Neko, and the letter I'. For insanity.
Disclaimed
Lawyer: ^whistles^ Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil, for I am the meanest meanie in the valley! ^shadow falls over him^
Deathscythe: ^squish^
Neko: ^turns off projector^ And that children, is why I own Gundam Wing.
Lawyers: ^gulp^
Neko: Any questions?
Random Lawyer: ^stands up^ But you don't own Gundam Wing!
^pop^
Deathscythe: ^squish^
Chapter the Second
Would you like fries with that?
...Continuation.
The effect this simple statement had on the other four boys was remarkable.
Hiiro, who was holding Duo upside down by his ankle, promptly dropped him and raced into the adjoining room, drawing his gun. Dazed, Duo followed him, only to have the door slammed in his face. He resigned himself to standing in the middle of the room and pretending he was invisible.
Trowa on the other hand, performed a impressive series of flips and landed gracefully on top of a cabinet. Wufei vaulted over the couch, neatly halving it with his sword. Couch number...too many, Quatre sighed mentally.
Squee! Bishies! The fangirl spontaneously regained consciousness and wrapped arms around Duo's neck. The pilots all breathed a collective sigh of relief, except for Duo, who choked.
Mine, mine, mine... All mine! The fangirl clung to Duo's neck, chanting repetitively. Wufei muttered something obscure and tried to pry the fangirl off Duo. She hissed briefly, then latched herself on to Wufei.
Injustice! Get off me, onna! then in a lower voice, The things I do for you, Maxwell...
Make that six for Maxwell, and two for Wufei, Hiiro corrected himself, slipping Perfect Soldier-like' back into the room. In the hallway, a shadowy figure prepared to make her entrance. Eh heh heh... She laughed diabolically to herself and signaled a hidden camera.
Bang!' There was a spectacular explosion, and the room filled with fake smoke. When it cleared, there was a girl standing in the middle of the room.
she said cheerfully, I'm Yasashii and this is my co-worker Neko, she gestured vaguely towards the girl wrapped around Wufei. Yasashii pulled out a clipboard and began scanning a list, ignoring the pilots' bemused looks.
First, I suppose I'll do your friend here a favour by relieving him of Neko. She produced a huge pair of tweezers from Fangirl Equipment Storage Hammerspace and plucked Neko off of Wufei, placing her on the floor. Before the fangirl could react, Yasashii tranquilized her, instantly rendering her unconscious.
Hiiro took stock of the situation. There was a strange girl standing in the middle of the room pulling things out of midair, and an even stranger girl unconscious in the corner. He suspected they were fangirls, but what did it all mean? For the first time in his life, the Perfect Soldier was clueless.
Quatre said slowly, Could you give some background information about yourself? I'm Quatre, but I have a feeling you already know that.
You bet! I have your file right here! Yasashii held up a thick manila folder. A few papers slipped out and Trowa picked them. He found them to be a collection of screenshots from security' cameras.
Duo looked over Trowa's shoulder. Quatre making lunch, Quatre playing the violin, Quatre with a stop watch, Quatre doing needlepoint, Quatre playing- Hey! Quatre doing needlepoint?! The hell?!
Quatre pulled nervously at his collar. So... How do you get all these images?
Oh, just a bunch of surveillance cameras set up around the house! Yasashii said happily and the pilots gave a simultaneous gack'. But don't worry, we respect your privacy. Although there was this one time that-
There was another loud bang and the room filled with beach balls. Yes, beach balls. Shut up. Once Hiiro had handily disposed of them all, there was another girl standing where Yasashii had been, Yasashii was unconscious next to Neko, and everything was okay. Everything was full of holes, but it was okay.
said the girl who was standing in the middle of the room, I'm Sha- she spotted Duo, Duo gave a squeak of terror and high-tailed it into the adjoining room, the fangirl girl in hot pursuit.
Unfortunately, the lucky gods were not smiling down on Sha-, she lasted less than Neko and Yasashii combined, which is understandable, I suppose, but still...
There was a loud bang, and the room filled with pink. inflatable Tarepanda sledgehammers. Trowa yawned in boredom as Hiiro emptied them out the window, all except the one that Duo was clutching as a means of self defense.
When the sledgehammers were gone, there was a girl standing in the middle of the room. Sensing a pattern here?
Quatre recognized the small stature of the silhouette and, unalarmed, turned his gaze to the corner where the fangirls lay. Yasashii was still unconscious so he reclined on half the couch to watch the events unfold. Two plus one equals two. Makes perfect sense to me.
Duo had not figured this out yet. Hiiiiiii-ro! They're messing with my mind!
The fangirl cleared her throat. My name is Neko. I have been sent here to deliver this message: We, the undersigned, hereby grant Duo Maxwell magic powers for one day, or until we see fit to remove them. We know where you live... Neko handed Trowa the document.
Duo howled, They did it again! Neko smiled serenely, and the room once again filled with the conventional smoke. Through the confusion, Wufei distinctly heard the sound of bodies being dragged across the floor and a door clicking shut.
Owari!
Une Bit from le Archives!
Whoot!
Duo: Wow! Bob spelt backwards is boB! And wow spelt backwards is wow! Moo spelt backwards is oom...
Wufei: No shit, Sherlock.
Duo: Constipated Watson?
Hiiro: Open up! It's the Lame Police! ^Quatre and Trowa handcuff Duo and march him off^
And a Special Extra!
Lucky you! ^^*
Quatre: ^walks into the kitchen^ Good morning everyone! ^happy happy cheery cheery^ Any words of wisdom?
Other Pilots: ^zzzzzzzzzzzz^
^silence^
Duo: Cognito eggo sum.
Trowa: I think therefore I am a waffle.
Quatre: ^^*
From the Walls of an Insane Asylum
Neko and faithful muse.
Neko: There! Was it worth the wait?
Enko-chan: ^wakes up^ Huh?! What?!
Neko: ^smacks Enko-chan^
Enko-chan: %_%
Neko: Neways... I promise that the OC will go away next chapter if they're bothering you! ^grovels^ Please review. I love you. ^_^