Round Perdition's Flames
Chapter 5
"Ambivalent Atmosphere"
It's a funny feeling that we get inside of us, we human beings. Our world can be
crashing down around us, but our chief concern is still with more abstract things. People in
the throes of death have passed concerned not at all for themselves, but rather for the loved
one they leave behind. Sometimes our basic nature for survival is overridden by our desire to
protect those close to us. More confusing is the way we treat those that we care about. Some
people express it openly, others will confide in a friend but not reveal their feelings to the
one they are towards. Still others will deny their true feelings to everyone, yet the most
dangerous of all are those who deny their feelings not only to others, but to themselves as
well. These are the saddest of them all, those who have lost something inside. Life is the
story of many such people, this tale is just a recount of a few of them. . .
--Saturday--
6:30 A.M. approached and Major Misato Katsuragi forced herself to climb out of bed. What
the hell, she hadn't really slept anyway! Her body felt as though it had been on a train ride
through hell. Or perhaps it had been under the train on that particular journey. In either
case, she didn't feel her best. Rather hopelessly, she wondered why she had been putting in
such long hours as of late. She understood the need to be ready at a moment's notice, but this
could easily get ridiculous. Fortunately for her, she knew that after this shift, she wouldn't
have to report again until the following evening, barring an emergency, of course.
The fog slowly began to lift from her mind. She was tired, dead tired, but she was just
going to have to deal with it. She couldn't walk into headquarters looking as though she were
about to pass out, the Commanders wouldn't be pleased. And with her recent promotion, she
couldn't afford to look like she wasn't on the ball.
"Things to do, things to do." She said aloud. She had to get dressed. She had to get a
bite to eat. She had to make sure Pen-Pen was stocked up on food. Fumbling around for something
fitting to wear, she went through her usual morning routine. It always took her at least a
minute to find a relatively clean pair of bra and panties, then she had to go through the
trouble of finding what outfit would suit the day's occasion-this was often the first clean and
matching one she found. She had no idea where her jacket was, though, she hoped Shinji did. He
usually kept track of these kinds of things. As she opened the door to her bedroom, a wonderful
yet unfamiliar smell greeted her.
"Ouch!" she heard a familiar voice cry out in pain. "What did you go and do that for?"
"Don't touch! Idiot! Just watch and you might learn something!" Asuka whacked her
spatula against the pan again to emphasize her point.
Misato couldn't stand it any longer. "What is going on out here?" the guardian asked.
"Oh, hi Misato! Asuka was just showing me how to make eggs and ham." Shinji replied with
a smile.
"Guten morgen, Misato. Yeah, I'm tired of eating rice every damn morning."
"Hey, I do know how to cook other things! I think my old teacher even showed me how to
make eggs once, but it's been so long since I've used them. . ."
"Well, you're in luck, this just happens to be one of my many specialties."
"Where did you two get eggs and ham from? I don't recall buying any."
"Shinji had some money leftover, so we decided to have a nice breakfast. We even brought
some back here for you."
Misato half-blushed. "Gee you two, I'm so touched that you thought of me, but how come
you didn't go out and get a nice breakfast by yourselves in a restaurant?"
"Do you think I want to be seen in a restaurant with him when you're not there?! People
we're think we're dating! Ooh, yuck, that's soooo gross!!" She shivered slightly.
Shinji did his best not to react to her comment. "Actually, I thought it was because our
school stuff is here, so we would have had to come back anyway."
"Oh. . .well. . .that to." Asuka responded. She followed it up by expertly slipping the
spatula underneath an egg and plopping it onto a nearby plate. "There, that ought to be
perfect. Care to try, Misato?"
"I, uh. . ." was the only reply she got.
"If we were brave enough to try your cooking, the least you can do is repay us! You try
Shinji's all the time, what about mine?"
"All right, all right." Misato did her best to think back on all the times in her life
she had eaten eggs, which wasn't all that often. She didn't care for them very much. They
weren't awful, but they just weren't really her thing.
Asuka smiled at her as she received the plate and a fork. "Try it! Try it!"
"Okay, here goes!" She cut a piece of the white off with the side of her fork and
promptly stuck it into her mouth, not wanting to prolong the moment. |Hey, the kid's not too
bad at this.| she thought to herself. "It's pretty good, Asuka."
"Just pretty good?" Her voice had a definite disappointment factor in it.
"Here, let me try." said Shinji.
Asuka nodded slightly and slid one of the remaining eggs onto a plate he had picked up.
Shinji carefully broke the yolk of the egg and took a bite. He was forced to admit that it was
pretty tasty. That's good, Asuka."
"Oh I can't stand this!" the young girl yelled. She lifted the last egg out of the pan
with the spatula and scooped it into her mouth, chewing vigorously. "Yuck! I didn't add the
salt! It would have been much better with salt!"
"I thought it was fine." Shinji replied, trying to console her.
"If I had done it right, you would have been raving about it, stupid! Oh, forget it! I
know that I got this right!" She motioned to the three hamsteaks sizzling in the pan.
"Asuka, don't you think that's a bit rich for breakfast?" Shinji asked her.
Asuka sighed. "Such a boring little boy, I forgot that being Japanese has ruined you.
It's just ham, not a German chocolate cake!"
"Oh." Was the only thing he could think of saying.
Misato pulled Shinji aside. "Shinji, could you help me look for my jacket, please?"
"Oh, uh, sure Misato." He replied. "I'll be right back, Asuka."
"Sure, go ahead and run away from my cooking. You'll never learn anything that way!"
Shinji ignored her remark and met Misato in the living room. "Didn't you leave it near
the sofa, Misato?"
"Did I?" She really had no clue as to its location, she didn't remember all that much
about yesterday in general. Misato rummaged around through the dirty laundry slung over the
sofa until she found it.
"I'm sorry, I didn't have a chance to clean up around here yesterday."
"You don't have to apologize, Shinji, I know that sometimes you can be just as busy as I
am. Besides, I used to keep the place much filthier than this. So, uh," she lowered her voice
to a whisper, "how did it go this morning, with, you know. . ."
"Oh, that, well. . ." Shinji moved his hand in front of him in an erratic, downward
motion, then made an exploding noise.
"That bad, huh?"
"Yeah."
"I'd say you got off easy. You do know that your quest is borderline impossible, after
all. It might not hurt to keep in mind that she has feelings, you know."
"Of course I know that! They're a major concern of mine! Though with the way she treats
me, I really don't know why."
"Some questions are best left unanswered."
"I think you may be right. So now what should I do?"
"Well, you just have to be strong and keep trying. Just don't you dare do anything to
hurt her!"
"I don't suppose you could put the same restrictions on her?"
"Sorry, but you're the one who expressed an interest in her, not the other way around.
You know what your problem is? It's that she perceives you as a weak person. You need to do
something about that."
"But. . .I am a weak person."
"Oh knock it off! Weak people don't pilot Evas, Shinji."
"If you say so."
"I do say so! You just don't give yourself any credit."
"I'm not looking for credit! Misato. . .weren't you listening a couple of nights ago
when we went out to dinner? I want my father to respect me and be proud of me. . .but, when
everything is said and done, I really don't care what people remember about Shinji Ikari. It
doesn't matter to me how many Angels I've killed."
"All I'm saying is that you should take a little pride in what you do. Like Asuka."
"Misato? I think she sometimes gets--"
"Okay, okay, bad example!" It's just, I don't want you to feel so passive about it, like
Rei does. I know that piloting Eva isn't really what you want, you're doing it for ulterior
motives."
"So what if I am?"
"It's not very rewarding to yourself. Just take a little pride in it, all right? You
don't have to get like Asuka over it, but, do you understand?"
"I think so."
"Good." Misato slipped her jacket on and prepared to leave. "By the way, how do I look
this morning?"
"Like you just pulled a triple shift."
"Oh shut up! I've got to get going. Oh, hey, listen Shinji!"
"What?"
"I invited Ritsuko over for dinner this evening, after your tests. Think you can cook up
something? Oh, and tell Asuka I want her to make some bread too."
"Misato! Come on, I'm not going to be at my best after a long day of Saturday school and
a synch test. And I can't make her something that isn't perfect, not after what you made the
last time."
"Why the hell is everyone harping about my cooking lately? And what do you expect me to
do? My bank account says I can't afford to take 4 people out to dinner, not with the wedding I
have coming up."
"Well. . .I still have money left over, about enough to pay for Asuka and myself. It's
your money anyway."
"So you're saying instead of making us a nice, homecooked meal, you'd rather we went
out?"
"Well, pretty much, yes."
Misato stared at him for a moment. "All right, fine, I'll talk to Ritsuko about it
today."
"Will you be picking us up from school tonight or do we walk?"
"I'd appreciate it if you walk, because the commanders are due back tomorrow, and I
still have a lot of boring paperwork to get done."
"All right."
"Good. Okay, see you tonight Shinji!" She raised her voice. "Bye Asuka!"
"Yeah, see you later!" Asuka's distant voice returned the farewell.
"Oh, and Shinji?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't get discouraged." With those words, she walked out the door, closing it behind
her.
"Right." The boy said absent-mindedly, then looked at his watch. 7:00! "Oh, crud.
Asuka!" he called, running back into the kitchen.
"What?" she responded, chewing on a piece of ham and working the other steaks over in the pan.
"It's 7:00! We have to get moving!"
"What? Scheisse!" Asuka turned the burner off and just left the pan on the stove, then
flew into her room to get her bag ready.
She promptly returned to find Shinji messing around with food. "What the hell are you
doing?" she asked, annoyed. "We have to go and you're making yourself breakfast, as though my
cooking isn't good enough for you! Honestly, you and Misato are so ungrateful!"
"Actually, I'm making our lunches. You'd be pretty upset if we didn't have anything to
eat, now wouldn't you?" He smiled at her.
"Oh, well, I, th-thank you for remembering."
"You're welcome. So, how do you feel about tonight?"
"You mean the tests? Why should I care? Like we don't already know who's going to get
the best score?"
"No, I meant. . .having dinner, with Ritsuko."
"I don't know. I don't really know Dr. Akagi all that well, to tell you the truth."
"We'll probably be going out somewhere."
"Is Kaji coming too?" Asuka's face lit up with hope.
"I have no idea. I suppose you'll just have to ask Ritsuko or Misato about that later
this evening." Shinji did his best to sound both non-complacent and non-chalant. He couldn't
expect different behavior from her. He had to face it, she had a major crush on Kaji, and he
had no claim on Asuka whatsoever. Besides, after doing some thinking, he had found that there
was no reason for him to be overly jealous of Kaji. The man hadn't made any moves on the young
girl, and he didn't do anything to overly encourage her advances. It was just her own silly
crush, and everyone knew it, he suspected that even Asuka knew it. He was just trying to keep
from hurting her, so he did nothing to either encourage or discourage her, in hopes that she
would lose interest and turn her attentions to someone more suitable. It was an issue of
transference, something he definitely had to talk with Kaji about. If the two men could somehow
come up with a way to transfer Asuka's attentions from the one to the other. . .but how to do
such a thing? He hated thinking like this. Asuka is a living, breathing person. She wasn't some
sort of reward to be manipulated, even if she sometimes deserved to be treated as such.
"Shinji? Shinji!" Asuka yelled at him.
Shinji snapped out of his thoughts and turned to look at the girl.
"Can't you go any faster?! We're going to be late!"
"Do you want it fast or do you want it right?"
"Both of course! Idiot!"
"You know, you really should relax a bit more. Just go with the flow. If we're late,
we're late. What's the worst that will happen? Hikari will scold us and give us extra chores?
Sensei will be annoyed and ask us to get to his class on time? We're relatively good students
and we don't cause much trouble."
"What's gotten into you?"
As tempted as Shinji was to say, "you," he gave a much more non-committal answer. "I
don't know."
"What do you mean, you don't know? I've never heard you say anything like that before!"
"I don't know. I'm sorry."
Asuka rolled her eyes. His previous sentence sounded much more like the Shinji she knew.
"Just leave it go. I'll share some of Hikari's lunch today."
"Yeah, but what about me?"
"I don't know, ask Kensuke for some his."
"He isn't planning on feeding me! It's bad enough he has to feed himself!"
"Fine, then ask Toji! I really don't care!"
"Toji always has to buy his lunch from the school store, there's no one to make him
lunch."
Asuka growled at her roommate but otherwise couldn't come up with much of a comment.
"Well, you don't have enough time to make rice to go with it!"
"True enough. Fine, have it your way then." Shinji left a half-finished sandwich lying
on the counter and went to gather his books. He was fine, filled enough on both breakfast, and
the popcorn he had consumed at the theater, but more importantly on the events of the last
several hours. They were cherished memories to the boy, even if they were somewhat awkward and
difficult. Hah! This was nothing, mere child's play considering what he was up against. Perhaps
his task was somewhat futile, but that also served to make it a bit noble. It didn't matter
much anyway, this was his personal fight, not only with the girl, but with himself. He only
wished that he could take his own advice under better guidance. He needed to relax and just go
with the flow a bit more. Trying to exercise too much control over life only brought about
frustration, as he well understood. But it was so difficult. When you wanted something so badly
but you didn't know how to express it, you didn't really know what to do about it, how to
think, how to act, how to speak. Love may be universal, but Shinji was beginning to understand
that wherever it was, its polar opposite was usually close by.
"So, are we going to school today, or are we just going to stand around in the kitchen
for the rest of the day?"
"I'm coming already!" Shinji soon appeared in the kitchen doorway, ready for another
wonderful day of school.
"You really are absolutely hopeless. Come on, let's go. We wouldn't want to keep
everyone waiting, now would we?" There was something mischievous and sinister about her voice,
something that nearly sent a shiver down Shinji's spine. There was absolutely no two ways about
it, Asuka was nothing if not a very dangerous woman. And as the two walked out of Misato's
apartment and down to the sidewalk towards school, Shinji suddenly became aware that she had a
much greater capacity to harm him than he had previously considered.
Greetings all! It's been a few weeks, and definitely time I submitted another chapter of this
story, I'd say. I've been playing around with the brand new computer the last two weeks, which
is why I took so long to get this out. Even with the extra hours I put in on this chapter, I
still couldn't find the time to work in all of the characters I wanted to in this chapter, and
I just didn't have the heart to wait yet another week. It's all right, the story is beginning
to grow far beyond its original horizons, and consequently it has grown a lot larger than it's
original intended length. It may not seem like it now, but trust me when I say that this has
become a lot more than just a Shinji/Asuka fanfic. If you want more clarification than that
(without spoiling the entire story of course), then simply e-mail the author and he'll be only
too obliged to give more specifics.
The necessary Legal Lingo junk-In writing this story, the author is in no way attempting to take
credit for Neon Genesis Evangelion or any of the characters contained therein. This is a work
contributed to Public Domain, and the author has not been paid so much as a penny for this
story. Neon Genesis Evangelion is copyrighted by Gainax, A.D.V. Films holds the rights
(hostage?) to the English Language Version.
Reading this fanfic is not guaranteed to help you lose weight!
Chapter 5
"Ambivalent Atmosphere"
It's a funny feeling that we get inside of us, we human beings. Our world can be
crashing down around us, but our chief concern is still with more abstract things. People in
the throes of death have passed concerned not at all for themselves, but rather for the loved
one they leave behind. Sometimes our basic nature for survival is overridden by our desire to
protect those close to us. More confusing is the way we treat those that we care about. Some
people express it openly, others will confide in a friend but not reveal their feelings to the
one they are towards. Still others will deny their true feelings to everyone, yet the most
dangerous of all are those who deny their feelings not only to others, but to themselves as
well. These are the saddest of them all, those who have lost something inside. Life is the
story of many such people, this tale is just a recount of a few of them. . .
--Saturday--
6:30 A.M. approached and Major Misato Katsuragi forced herself to climb out of bed. What
the hell, she hadn't really slept anyway! Her body felt as though it had been on a train ride
through hell. Or perhaps it had been under the train on that particular journey. In either
case, she didn't feel her best. Rather hopelessly, she wondered why she had been putting in
such long hours as of late. She understood the need to be ready at a moment's notice, but this
could easily get ridiculous. Fortunately for her, she knew that after this shift, she wouldn't
have to report again until the following evening, barring an emergency, of course.
The fog slowly began to lift from her mind. She was tired, dead tired, but she was just
going to have to deal with it. She couldn't walk into headquarters looking as though she were
about to pass out, the Commanders wouldn't be pleased. And with her recent promotion, she
couldn't afford to look like she wasn't on the ball.
"Things to do, things to do." She said aloud. She had to get dressed. She had to get a
bite to eat. She had to make sure Pen-Pen was stocked up on food. Fumbling around for something
fitting to wear, she went through her usual morning routine. It always took her at least a
minute to find a relatively clean pair of bra and panties, then she had to go through the
trouble of finding what outfit would suit the day's occasion-this was often the first clean and
matching one she found. She had no idea where her jacket was, though, she hoped Shinji did. He
usually kept track of these kinds of things. As she opened the door to her bedroom, a wonderful
yet unfamiliar smell greeted her.
"Ouch!" she heard a familiar voice cry out in pain. "What did you go and do that for?"
"Don't touch! Idiot! Just watch and you might learn something!" Asuka whacked her
spatula against the pan again to emphasize her point.
Misato couldn't stand it any longer. "What is going on out here?" the guardian asked.
"Oh, hi Misato! Asuka was just showing me how to make eggs and ham." Shinji replied with
a smile.
"Guten morgen, Misato. Yeah, I'm tired of eating rice every damn morning."
"Hey, I do know how to cook other things! I think my old teacher even showed me how to
make eggs once, but it's been so long since I've used them. . ."
"Well, you're in luck, this just happens to be one of my many specialties."
"Where did you two get eggs and ham from? I don't recall buying any."
"Shinji had some money leftover, so we decided to have a nice breakfast. We even brought
some back here for you."
Misato half-blushed. "Gee you two, I'm so touched that you thought of me, but how come
you didn't go out and get a nice breakfast by yourselves in a restaurant?"
"Do you think I want to be seen in a restaurant with him when you're not there?! People
we're think we're dating! Ooh, yuck, that's soooo gross!!" She shivered slightly.
Shinji did his best not to react to her comment. "Actually, I thought it was because our
school stuff is here, so we would have had to come back anyway."
"Oh. . .well. . .that to." Asuka responded. She followed it up by expertly slipping the
spatula underneath an egg and plopping it onto a nearby plate. "There, that ought to be
perfect. Care to try, Misato?"
"I, uh. . ." was the only reply she got.
"If we were brave enough to try your cooking, the least you can do is repay us! You try
Shinji's all the time, what about mine?"
"All right, all right." Misato did her best to think back on all the times in her life
she had eaten eggs, which wasn't all that often. She didn't care for them very much. They
weren't awful, but they just weren't really her thing.
Asuka smiled at her as she received the plate and a fork. "Try it! Try it!"
"Okay, here goes!" She cut a piece of the white off with the side of her fork and
promptly stuck it into her mouth, not wanting to prolong the moment. |Hey, the kid's not too
bad at this.| she thought to herself. "It's pretty good, Asuka."
"Just pretty good?" Her voice had a definite disappointment factor in it.
"Here, let me try." said Shinji.
Asuka nodded slightly and slid one of the remaining eggs onto a plate he had picked up.
Shinji carefully broke the yolk of the egg and took a bite. He was forced to admit that it was
pretty tasty. That's good, Asuka."
"Oh I can't stand this!" the young girl yelled. She lifted the last egg out of the pan
with the spatula and scooped it into her mouth, chewing vigorously. "Yuck! I didn't add the
salt! It would have been much better with salt!"
"I thought it was fine." Shinji replied, trying to console her.
"If I had done it right, you would have been raving about it, stupid! Oh, forget it! I
know that I got this right!" She motioned to the three hamsteaks sizzling in the pan.
"Asuka, don't you think that's a bit rich for breakfast?" Shinji asked her.
Asuka sighed. "Such a boring little boy, I forgot that being Japanese has ruined you.
It's just ham, not a German chocolate cake!"
"Oh." Was the only thing he could think of saying.
Misato pulled Shinji aside. "Shinji, could you help me look for my jacket, please?"
"Oh, uh, sure Misato." He replied. "I'll be right back, Asuka."
"Sure, go ahead and run away from my cooking. You'll never learn anything that way!"
Shinji ignored her remark and met Misato in the living room. "Didn't you leave it near
the sofa, Misato?"
"Did I?" She really had no clue as to its location, she didn't remember all that much
about yesterday in general. Misato rummaged around through the dirty laundry slung over the
sofa until she found it.
"I'm sorry, I didn't have a chance to clean up around here yesterday."
"You don't have to apologize, Shinji, I know that sometimes you can be just as busy as I
am. Besides, I used to keep the place much filthier than this. So, uh," she lowered her voice
to a whisper, "how did it go this morning, with, you know. . ."
"Oh, that, well. . ." Shinji moved his hand in front of him in an erratic, downward
motion, then made an exploding noise.
"That bad, huh?"
"Yeah."
"I'd say you got off easy. You do know that your quest is borderline impossible, after
all. It might not hurt to keep in mind that she has feelings, you know."
"Of course I know that! They're a major concern of mine! Though with the way she treats
me, I really don't know why."
"Some questions are best left unanswered."
"I think you may be right. So now what should I do?"
"Well, you just have to be strong and keep trying. Just don't you dare do anything to
hurt her!"
"I don't suppose you could put the same restrictions on her?"
"Sorry, but you're the one who expressed an interest in her, not the other way around.
You know what your problem is? It's that she perceives you as a weak person. You need to do
something about that."
"But. . .I am a weak person."
"Oh knock it off! Weak people don't pilot Evas, Shinji."
"If you say so."
"I do say so! You just don't give yourself any credit."
"I'm not looking for credit! Misato. . .weren't you listening a couple of nights ago
when we went out to dinner? I want my father to respect me and be proud of me. . .but, when
everything is said and done, I really don't care what people remember about Shinji Ikari. It
doesn't matter to me how many Angels I've killed."
"All I'm saying is that you should take a little pride in what you do. Like Asuka."
"Misato? I think she sometimes gets--"
"Okay, okay, bad example!" It's just, I don't want you to feel so passive about it, like
Rei does. I know that piloting Eva isn't really what you want, you're doing it for ulterior
motives."
"So what if I am?"
"It's not very rewarding to yourself. Just take a little pride in it, all right? You
don't have to get like Asuka over it, but, do you understand?"
"I think so."
"Good." Misato slipped her jacket on and prepared to leave. "By the way, how do I look
this morning?"
"Like you just pulled a triple shift."
"Oh shut up! I've got to get going. Oh, hey, listen Shinji!"
"What?"
"I invited Ritsuko over for dinner this evening, after your tests. Think you can cook up
something? Oh, and tell Asuka I want her to make some bread too."
"Misato! Come on, I'm not going to be at my best after a long day of Saturday school and
a synch test. And I can't make her something that isn't perfect, not after what you made the
last time."
"Why the hell is everyone harping about my cooking lately? And what do you expect me to
do? My bank account says I can't afford to take 4 people out to dinner, not with the wedding I
have coming up."
"Well. . .I still have money left over, about enough to pay for Asuka and myself. It's
your money anyway."
"So you're saying instead of making us a nice, homecooked meal, you'd rather we went
out?"
"Well, pretty much, yes."
Misato stared at him for a moment. "All right, fine, I'll talk to Ritsuko about it
today."
"Will you be picking us up from school tonight or do we walk?"
"I'd appreciate it if you walk, because the commanders are due back tomorrow, and I
still have a lot of boring paperwork to get done."
"All right."
"Good. Okay, see you tonight Shinji!" She raised her voice. "Bye Asuka!"
"Yeah, see you later!" Asuka's distant voice returned the farewell.
"Oh, and Shinji?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't get discouraged." With those words, she walked out the door, closing it behind
her.
"Right." The boy said absent-mindedly, then looked at his watch. 7:00! "Oh, crud.
Asuka!" he called, running back into the kitchen.
"What?" she responded, chewing on a piece of ham and working the other steaks over in the pan.
"It's 7:00! We have to get moving!"
"What? Scheisse!" Asuka turned the burner off and just left the pan on the stove, then
flew into her room to get her bag ready.
She promptly returned to find Shinji messing around with food. "What the hell are you
doing?" she asked, annoyed. "We have to go and you're making yourself breakfast, as though my
cooking isn't good enough for you! Honestly, you and Misato are so ungrateful!"
"Actually, I'm making our lunches. You'd be pretty upset if we didn't have anything to
eat, now wouldn't you?" He smiled at her.
"Oh, well, I, th-thank you for remembering."
"You're welcome. So, how do you feel about tonight?"
"You mean the tests? Why should I care? Like we don't already know who's going to get
the best score?"
"No, I meant. . .having dinner, with Ritsuko."
"I don't know. I don't really know Dr. Akagi all that well, to tell you the truth."
"We'll probably be going out somewhere."
"Is Kaji coming too?" Asuka's face lit up with hope.
"I have no idea. I suppose you'll just have to ask Ritsuko or Misato about that later
this evening." Shinji did his best to sound both non-complacent and non-chalant. He couldn't
expect different behavior from her. He had to face it, she had a major crush on Kaji, and he
had no claim on Asuka whatsoever. Besides, after doing some thinking, he had found that there
was no reason for him to be overly jealous of Kaji. The man hadn't made any moves on the young
girl, and he didn't do anything to overly encourage her advances. It was just her own silly
crush, and everyone knew it, he suspected that even Asuka knew it. He was just trying to keep
from hurting her, so he did nothing to either encourage or discourage her, in hopes that she
would lose interest and turn her attentions to someone more suitable. It was an issue of
transference, something he definitely had to talk with Kaji about. If the two men could somehow
come up with a way to transfer Asuka's attentions from the one to the other. . .but how to do
such a thing? He hated thinking like this. Asuka is a living, breathing person. She wasn't some
sort of reward to be manipulated, even if she sometimes deserved to be treated as such.
"Shinji? Shinji!" Asuka yelled at him.
Shinji snapped out of his thoughts and turned to look at the girl.
"Can't you go any faster?! We're going to be late!"
"Do you want it fast or do you want it right?"
"Both of course! Idiot!"
"You know, you really should relax a bit more. Just go with the flow. If we're late,
we're late. What's the worst that will happen? Hikari will scold us and give us extra chores?
Sensei will be annoyed and ask us to get to his class on time? We're relatively good students
and we don't cause much trouble."
"What's gotten into you?"
As tempted as Shinji was to say, "you," he gave a much more non-committal answer. "I
don't know."
"What do you mean, you don't know? I've never heard you say anything like that before!"
"I don't know. I'm sorry."
Asuka rolled her eyes. His previous sentence sounded much more like the Shinji she knew.
"Just leave it go. I'll share some of Hikari's lunch today."
"Yeah, but what about me?"
"I don't know, ask Kensuke for some his."
"He isn't planning on feeding me! It's bad enough he has to feed himself!"
"Fine, then ask Toji! I really don't care!"
"Toji always has to buy his lunch from the school store, there's no one to make him
lunch."
Asuka growled at her roommate but otherwise couldn't come up with much of a comment.
"Well, you don't have enough time to make rice to go with it!"
"True enough. Fine, have it your way then." Shinji left a half-finished sandwich lying
on the counter and went to gather his books. He was fine, filled enough on both breakfast, and
the popcorn he had consumed at the theater, but more importantly on the events of the last
several hours. They were cherished memories to the boy, even if they were somewhat awkward and
difficult. Hah! This was nothing, mere child's play considering what he was up against. Perhaps
his task was somewhat futile, but that also served to make it a bit noble. It didn't matter
much anyway, this was his personal fight, not only with the girl, but with himself. He only
wished that he could take his own advice under better guidance. He needed to relax and just go
with the flow a bit more. Trying to exercise too much control over life only brought about
frustration, as he well understood. But it was so difficult. When you wanted something so badly
but you didn't know how to express it, you didn't really know what to do about it, how to
think, how to act, how to speak. Love may be universal, but Shinji was beginning to understand
that wherever it was, its polar opposite was usually close by.
"So, are we going to school today, or are we just going to stand around in the kitchen
for the rest of the day?"
"I'm coming already!" Shinji soon appeared in the kitchen doorway, ready for another
wonderful day of school.
"You really are absolutely hopeless. Come on, let's go. We wouldn't want to keep
everyone waiting, now would we?" There was something mischievous and sinister about her voice,
something that nearly sent a shiver down Shinji's spine. There was absolutely no two ways about
it, Asuka was nothing if not a very dangerous woman. And as the two walked out of Misato's
apartment and down to the sidewalk towards school, Shinji suddenly became aware that she had a
much greater capacity to harm him than he had previously considered.
Greetings all! It's been a few weeks, and definitely time I submitted another chapter of this
story, I'd say. I've been playing around with the brand new computer the last two weeks, which
is why I took so long to get this out. Even with the extra hours I put in on this chapter, I
still couldn't find the time to work in all of the characters I wanted to in this chapter, and
I just didn't have the heart to wait yet another week. It's all right, the story is beginning
to grow far beyond its original horizons, and consequently it has grown a lot larger than it's
original intended length. It may not seem like it now, but trust me when I say that this has
become a lot more than just a Shinji/Asuka fanfic. If you want more clarification than that
(without spoiling the entire story of course), then simply e-mail the author and he'll be only
too obliged to give more specifics.
The necessary Legal Lingo junk-In writing this story, the author is in no way attempting to take
credit for Neon Genesis Evangelion or any of the characters contained therein. This is a work
contributed to Public Domain, and the author has not been paid so much as a penny for this
story. Neon Genesis Evangelion is copyrighted by Gainax, A.D.V. Films holds the rights
(hostage?) to the English Language Version.
Reading this fanfic is not guaranteed to help you lose weight!