Time and Time Again
SPOILERS: Paradise Lost, Divide & Conquer, 100 Days, Full Circle, Abyss, Changeling, Window of Opp, Beneath the Surface, Meridian
PAIRING: Sam/Jack
SEASON: 6/7
SUMMARY: Jack pays Sam a visit in her office after they return from Abydos
WARNINGS: Bad, late night sap!! :P
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Meh, I have nothing to say that I haven't said in other fics…oh READ AND REVIEW! *attempts to brainwash readers* and enjoy…
The italics are flashbacks to episodes…some of them have added parts to the conversation!! Hehe, yes I made them more shippy!! Surprise!!
DISCLAIMER: Does it look like I own Stargate? Seriously, if I did, there would be waaay more Sam and Jack moments!! And Narim would've died a long long time before he did!!
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"Hey Carter, what're ya doing?" Colonel Jack O'Neill asked, wandering casually into her office.
Major Samantha Carter looked up from her desk, where she was trying to figure out some machine or other. "Trying to fix this."
"I'm not going to ask what it is, because I'm afraid of the answer," Jack said, not smiling.
"It was unexpected to all of us, sir," Sam said, knowing what he was thinking.
"I hope Skaara still gets married," Jack said, sitting down opposite Sam. "He seemed so happy."
"They're still alive in a way," Sam said.
"I guess," Jack said.
There was a pause for a moment, Jack was staring at the table and Sam looked at him, feeling his pain. The people of Abydos had been destroyed, wiped out, by the Goa'uld Anubis's fleet. One of those people of Abydos was Skaara, the kid who had reminded Jack of his dead son when he had first met him seven years earlier. Now Skaara was gone too.
"I've lost too many people in my life," Jack said quietly.
Sam looked surprised, she never had conversations like this with Jack, they never had close conversations, because of what they both feared would happen, that they would become too emotional and let something slip, something forbidden that neither of them were supposed to be feeling, but did anyway. She had a sudden flash back to four years earlier.
"You miss him," Janet stated.
Sam looked up, almost surprised. "Yes…"
"Is this a problem?" Janet questioned.
"No," Sam lied, as much to herself as to Janet.
She shook her head, but another memory, a more recent one, popped into her head.
"It's just that it feels like yesterday that we lost Daniel, I don't know if I could…" Sam said, then let Teal'c hug her.
They sat like that for a moment before she pulled back slightly. "I feel stupid."
"Do not be, Major Carter," Teal'c said. "I understand that you and O'Neill have great feelings for each other."
"We're not supposed to," Sam said quietly.
"This I am aware of," Teal'c said. "But off-world no one would ever know…there is no need for anyone to find out either."
Sam looked surprised. "You'd keep anything that happened a secret?"
"I have been keeping secret for years your feelings for each other," Teal'c replied.
"Teal'c…I…I love him," Sam whispered, trying not to cry again. "And I want him to come home."
"We will find him," Teal'c said positively.
"Carter?" Jack interrupted her thoughts.
"Yes, sir?" she asked, jolted from her memory.
"What were you just thinking?" he asked.
Sam froze, she didn't know what to say. "Ah…about…a physics equation I'm working on."
He knew she was lying, but decided to leave it. "So…"
"What's wrong?" Jack asked.
"Nothing, I'm fine," Sam said, obviously not fine at all.
"Get some rest, that's an order," Jack said.
Sam met Teal'c eye, and immediately he knew. He turned away and Sam moved closer to Jack, then she put her head on his shoulder. He seemed slightly surprised, but it wore off quickly.
"Sir, why didn't you tell me you'd seen Daniel?" Sam blurted out.
"Because I thought you'd think I was mad," he replied, truthfully. "In fact I thought I was mad…I was being tortured, killed, brought back to life, tortured and killed again."
Sam winced. "You never told me that…"
"Oh," Jack said. "Didn't I?"
"No, sir," Sam replied.
Jack looked uncomfortable. "Teal'c didn't tell anyone either."
"No he didn't," Sam said.
There was another long silence. Sam knew Jack was there for a reason, but didn't know what. All she could tell was it was something he wanted to tell her, but couldn't bring himself to do so. He was acting like he always did before he wanted to say something important.
"So…sir…why'd you come here?" Sam asked.
"Carter, have you ever thought of leaving the SGC?" Jack blurted out.
"No…why?" Sam asked.
"I was sleeping in my quarters before and I had this dream, about Charlie…and Skaara…and when I woke up I was lying there, thinking…Sam I don't want anything to happen to you," Jack said.
Sam didn't know what to say, so she remained quiet.
"What were the odds of Charlie dying? Very low, yet he stilled died. Abydos was a peaceful planet, the odds of Skaara dying weren't that high either, he still died. Yet you face danger every day, every single day we go out there and we fight the war, we face danger…how many days can we go out there and not get injured, hurt or…" Jack looked up and met Sam's eyes. "…or killed."
Sam really didn't know how to react.
"I don't want anything to happen to you, if it did…Sam…I…" Jack stopped.
"Sir…" Sam said, sternly.
"The truth is I would've rather died myself than loose Carter," Jack admitted.
"Why?" Anise pressed.
"Because I care about her, a lot more than I'm supposed to," Jack concluded.
"You are not a zat'arc," Anise said.
"Now retest me," Sam said.
Sam told her story.
"Why did you want him to leave?" Anise asked.
"Because…because I have feelings for him that I shouldn't have for my CO, I didn't want him to die, not because of me. I wanted him to leave and live his life happily, so I could die knowing that he was alive," Sam said.
"You are also not a zat'arc," Anise announced.
Jack walked over to Sam and undid the equipment tied around her head.
"Sir, none of this has to leave the room," Sam said immediately.
Jack seemed slightly surprised for a moment, then disappointed. "We're OK with that?"
"Yes, sir," Sam said.
Sam looked at Jack, she knew the same memory was floating through his mind.
"There's something I need to tell you," Jack said. "When I was in…you know when me and Teal'c were stuck in the timeloop?"
Sam nodded, she'd been curious as to why he'd refused to tell her or Daniel what he'd done in the timeloop. Now he was going to tell her.
He winced. "I kissed you."
Sam's eyes widened. "Oh…"
Jack paused for a second then looked away. "I shouldn't have told you that…I just thought you had the right to know."
With that he stood up to leave. Sam stood up too and followed him.
"Colonel," she said.
He turned around to face her. "Yes Major?"
"Jack…you know we can never…" Sam started
"You know there are some things about this place that I like," Thera said, resting her head on Jonah's shoulder.
"Really?" Jonah replied, then mouthed "Oh" as he understood.
Where they really lived, whoever they were, they weren't allowed to be together.
"Would it help if I told you I remembered something else?" Jonah asked.
"What?" Thera questioned.
"Feelings," Jonah stated.
"Feelings?" Thera repeated.
"I remember feeling feelings," Jonah continued.
"For me?" Thera asked, knowing the answer.
"No, for Tor," Jonah joked.
Sam smiled and laughed slightly. "So?"
"So…I just wanted you to know," Jonah said.
"Well then I feel better," Thera said.
There was a few minutes of silence.
"Thera?" Jonah said.
"Yes?" Thera said.
"If we ever get our memories back, if we live this place…I just want you to know, and remember, that I love you," Jonah said.
"I know," Thera said. "I love you too."
She moved away from her position of her head on his shoulder and looked him in the eyes. "I know we're not allowed to be together, where we come from."
"I remember that too," Jonah whispered, then leaned in forward and kissed her.
"We can never be allowed to have any kind of relationship," Sam said.
"How about a very deep friendship?" Jack asked.
"I'm assuming Carter is invited?" Jack asked and excited Skaara.
"Yes, sure. Will you be coming together?" Skaara asked.
Jack looked surprised. "As in…?"
"As in two friends going to a wedding," Sam said, way too quickly.
"We're already more than that," Sam whispered.
"I thought we were just friends?" Jack said.
"I said we should go to Skaara's wedding as friends, I didn't say that's what we were," Sam said.
Sam suddenly realised that her face was extremely close to his. She found herself leaning in forwards and kissing him on the lips, he kissed her back.
Jack continued kissed her tenderly then pulled back slightly, "This is probably a mistake."
Sam nodded softly, lowering her head, "Yes sir... " she raised her eyes to meet his, "But I don't regret it."
He just stood there for a moment, staring at her. Then a sudden wave of embarrassment seemed to flood over him and he looked away. "I better go."
With that he left, and Sam was all alone again. But at least this time she knew, she knew that he still loved her, that he still cared.
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THANKS FOR READING!!
REVIEW!! *points down* Yes that little button that said "GO" or whatever it says!! Click it…there we go, good on ya!! Now write something nice…J!