Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and
owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to
Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros.,
Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is
intended.
Awaken Me By Evenstar496
Chapter 1
"This night is mine It's only you and I Tomorrow Is a long time away This night can last forever
I've been around Someone like me should know better Falling in love Would be the worst thing I could do
This night You're mine It's only you and I I'll tell you To forget yesterday This night we are together" -Billy Joel
When Remus awoke, it was still evening. He didn't know if the locks had been undone and it vaguely occurred to him that he didn't give a damn. His head was pillowed against Hermione's soft stomach. Everything else seemed irrelevant.
**She's still here.
It wasn't a dream.**
She was warm and soft and real. Her long, slim arms draped around him tenderly.
**God, I never want to move again. I'll give everything I have to live here forever, buried in her flesh and form.**
He could feel her heartbeat pulse steadily against his ear, hear the gentle inhale and exhale of her breath. The proof of her existence felt like the very validation of his own. When did his universe begin to revolve so perilously around this girl? His student.
**What's happening to me? Why on earth can I think of nothing but Hermione?
I thought perhaps the sex might purge her from my system, but now I'm twice as taken with her.
Is it possible this is more than attraction, more than a silly, misguided infatuation?** He pondered, noting that he couldn't even remember the last time he'd felt so thoroughly contented.
**I have no answers - maybe there are none -
I've lived in the concrete and logical for so many years - Apart from the werewolf, I don't think I know how to run on instinct anymore.
I'm not even sure I'd want to if I did - but I am sure I want her.**
His mind could register little but wonder and gratitude at this unexpected fortune. He couldn't look at her without feeling the impulse to envelop her in his body, smother her in kisses, and slide his fingers across her responsive flesh. In his most fantastic fantasies, he'd never dared to consider this particular reality. But as he lay against her, he felt he'd finally found a home in the affection of her gaze and the warmth of her body. Indeed, it held promise as a safe, strong residence, one that would not suddenly lock its doors against him and force him away. Not since his school days at Hogwarts had he felt so stunningly alive.
Hermione sighed softly in her sleep and stirred nearer to him, as if his thoughts had found their way into her dreams. He raised himself up slightly, careful to avoid disturbing her too much, and studied her. Her head lay slanted to one side and a slight smile played at the corners of her mouth. Her eyelids fluttered occasionally, long lashes dancing in correspondence. Remus was certain a glow radiated from her pallid skin.
"I didn't think she could be any *more* alluring," he whispered, drawn to the tranquility of her features.
Remus drifted nearer to her lips and hovered hesitantly over them for a moment. He gave her a scarce kiss, hoping to avoid disrupting her slumber, but she made a noise and stretched slightly as he watched her. Her eyes opened tentatively, and Hermione happily found herself in the midst of Remus' penetrating gaze.
She smiled sleepily.
"Mmmm - hi," she said, yawning.
**Please let him be real - please let him be real-**
"Hi," he replied. "Sorry to wake you."
"No worry," Hermione said, rising stiffly from the hardwood desk. "I think I prefer this to my dreams,"
She raised a hand to his cheek and caressed it.
**Oh, praise the gods! He is real - and I can touch him and feel him and smell him - and-**
He kissed her again and this time her lips met his eagerly. Hardly breathing, they sought each other hungrily, their appetites for each other not nearly quenched. After several minutes, Remus tore himself away. His eyes were misty as he drank in her loveliness. She blushed slightly under his scrutiny.
"Have you any idea how beautiful you are?"
Hermione reddened with embarrassment. She made a dismissive noise and tried to turn her head away, but he'd brought his hand to her chin and refused to let her escape his view.
"I never had you pegged as a sentimentalist," she demurred, giving in to his persistent attention.
"I'm full of surprises," he grinned.
"I noticed," she said, her hand passing briefly over his awakening erection.
Eyelids sinking indulgently, he gave a breathy laugh and struggled to focus on something other than pouncing on her and insisting she finish the job she'd just started.
**Have some control, Remus. You've already defiled her once tonight. Give her a rest - then lay into her.**
"Here, it's your turn," he said, settling himself on his back again. "Curl up against me."
She did so eagerly, glad to press her cheek to his firm chest and lay encircled in his arms. Words fell away as they lay quietly, both complete in the closeness of the other. Remus' hands explored her back, thrilling at the delicacy of her smooth skin against his, while Hermoine's fingers traveled the soft terrain of his chest, taking in every hair and slight scar with a sort of reverence. Her slim legs tangled with his.
"Remus?"
"Yes?"
"What happened tonight?"
**We shagged. It was fun. Nothing more - no, no, no, no - nothing more.
Quit fooling yourself, Remus, you'll have to face your feelings eventually.
Eventually, but not now.**
"Between us?" he asked blankly.
"No, between Hagrid and McGonagall," she said, sarcasm sharp in her voice. She smirked up at him.
"Watch your tone, Miss Granger," Remus said in mock severity. "Don't forget, I'm still your professor."
"What are you going to do? Punish me? You tried that earlier - I found it rather enjoyable."
She stretched her hand down Remus' thigh and leisurely drew it back up again, his muscles flexing gently at her touch.
"*Rather* enjoyable?"
"Well, I've always found it wise to leave room for improvement. I'd hate to see you get so confident in your abilities that you quit trying as - uh - hard," she teased, delving her fingers into the shock of light hair surrounding his ever hardening member.
"I promise you that will NEVER be a problem," he grinned.
He leaned toward Hermione and kissed her forehead. She brought her hand to his belly, her fingers tenderly intermingling with his and turned to him soberly.
"Seriously, Remus, what happened tonight?"
He sighed.
"Hermione, if I had the answer to that question we probably wouldn't be rolling about the room naked. Had I known or understood any of this, I would have stopped it. But I don't remember processing much of anything this evening. My brain's been absent for several hours."
"Uh-huh - It's not as painful as I'd thought."
"Painful, no. Scary, yes."
"Scary?"
"I'm old and set in my ways. My habits sustain me. Deviating from them sets me all off balance and that's not so easy to regain at my age."
"Oh, stop it. You talk like you're on your deathbed. Why do you keep insisting that you're old?"
"Well - frankly, I only feel half alive most of the time."
"Because you're a werewolf?"
"Indirectly - my lifestyle dictates that certain experiences will always be denied me. I'm your proverbial beast in a cage, watching the rest of the world enjoy a life I'll never know."
Hermione was quiet for a moment, reflecting on his comments.
"Do you feel awfully isolated?" she asked, quietly.
"Yes," he said. The warmth had nearly dropped out of his voice, leaving behind an uncomfortable tone of gravity.
"I do, too."
"You don't seem like it."
"That's because I'm just used to it and - well, you do the math - I'm an only child, I'm too smart for my own good, and I grew up a witch in the Muggle world. I've always been the freak, the loser, the weirdo. I've never been like other kids. I never even had friends until I came here."
"You carry yourself like someone who's completely satisfied with life."
"So do you, Remus. All of the students love you. You're the friendliest, most popular professor at Hogwarts. I don't think I've ever seen you without a smile on your face and that funny sparkle in your eyes."
"I'm a fine actor when I have to be."
"Exactly. How do you think I learned to be such an obstinate, bossy know-it-all?"
He snorted softly.
"What about Harry and Ron? The three of you might as well be sown together at your collective hips."
"Oh god, no!" she said, horrified. "They're the only real friends I've ever had and I love them desperately, but there are things about me that even they will never understand. After all, they didn't much care for me when we first met - granted, I was a little high-strung in those days. That first meeting kind of set the standard for the three of us. I've always felt slightly set apart from them. Harry and Ron go off and have fun and I stick around the common room to do school work. I don't think they'll ever comprehend that I'm studious because I *like* to learn. It's not a chore for me."
She sighed wearily.
"Of course, I've been an odd duck my entire life," she continued. "No friends. No brothers or sisters. Just my thoughts and my books. They're really my closest companions bec-"
"-Because books won't judge you or look at you funny or abandon you."
Hermione, craning her neck around to gape at Remus, was taken aback by his uncanny ability to predict her thoughts.
"So you're taking lessons from Trelawney now, are you? 'Have you made contact with your inner eye, Remus dear?'" Hermione said, mimicking the Divinity professor's wispy, melodramatic speech.
Remus laughed and tweaked her nose. She scrunched up her face, giggling with him.
"Thank god, no. I've yet to develop any extrasensory skills. Though if I ever do, I suspect I'll keep that from her -- unless she already knows," he deadpanned.
"I'm not holding my breath, thank you - Still, I'm impressed. You were dead on."
"I know a thing or two about being the strange kid who sits inside all day and reads. Actually, life really hasn't changed all that much," he said derisively.
"Are you very unhappy?"
"It's really not a matter of happy or unhappy. I've grown accustomed to my options in life. As long as I have a warm place to sleep, food to eat, and students to teach I'm quite content."
"You don't ever want anything more than that?"
"At one time I did. But when you transform into a flesh-eating beast every month, you learn rather quickly that seeking anything more than stability guarantees disappointment. You have to appreciate what you have. Besides, when you've gone long enough without something, you forget why you wanted it in the first place."
Hermione pursed her lips and arched her eyebrow with glaring skepticism.
"Is that really how you feel or is that what you tell yourself to get through the day?"
"Does it matter?" He released a mild sigh, exasperated by her trademark inquisitiveness. "No one gets hurt and life goes on peacefully. Why ask for trouble?"
As usual, her perceptive skills were razor-sharp. It made Remus uneasy. He wasn't in the mood to have Hermione probing his deepest, darkest depths in hopes of exposing all of his hidden and unpleasant truths.
"You tell me - after all, you *are* my professor and we *did* just have the most heated sex I've ever experienced. What do you call that?"
He was uncomfortably silent.
**Complete hypocrisy, Hermione - That's what I call it.
I'm a fake, a phony, an imitation of another man who died long ago.
Is that what you want to hear?
Trust me, girl, denial is terribly underrated as a means of survival.**
"Remus?"
"Yes?" he replied, hesitantly.
"When was the last time you were in love?"
"I don't know." Remus answered, sounding put-upon. "Probably a decade ago."
"And?"
"And I haven't cared to complicate my life in that fashion again," he asserted with finality.
"Why? Did she break your heart? Did she die?"
He was becoming annoyed.
**This is what I get for lusting after Hogwarts' teen prodigy-**
"Because, like every woman I've cared for, she conveniently lost interest in me right around the time she discovered my dirty little secret," he said with an edge.
"Who was she?"
"Hermione, why on earth do you need to know every gory detail of my pitiful love life?" he snapped slightly.
"Because I'm curious and I want to understand you," she said matter- of-factly, then paused, and went on quietly, "And I want to understand you because I care-"
His aggravation began to diminish. Though he said nothing initially, he soon found himself disarmed by her earnestness.
"She was a girl I'd gone to school with here," he answered grudgingly. "We spent a lot of time together - just as friends. I was reunited with her many years later when we were teaching at the same school and we became involved. I actually managed to keep the truth from her for several months before she became suspicious and started asking questions."
"And you loved her?"
"Yes"
"More than all the others?"
"I wouldn't say that. It - it was simply a case of one disappointment too many. I had to give up the game and face reality if I wanted to save myself."
**So why am I lining myself up before the executioner again?**
Remus sounded so somber Hermione began to regret her intrusiveness.
"I'm sorry, Remus," she said, barely above a whisper. "I need to learn when let things drop. It's really none of my business."
Her face was mournful and sincere as she looked up at him, rendering him incapable of remaining irritated with her.
"For god's sake, Hermione we're lying here naked. It seems a bit silly to start splitting hairs about what's private and what's not."
She grinned. "I suppose you do have a point."
Another stretch of silence.
"Remus?"
"Yes?"
"Was it good? Tonight?"
He gazed into her brown eyes. They were tremulous with uncertainty and unnerved him as they searched his face with raw, unrestrained emotion. No one had looked at him that way in years. He wanted so badly to let go and freefall into this whirlwind of passion and vitality.
But something held him back. Terror. He was unfazed by their nude bodies lying there, but this undressed emotional state was far too perilous.
**Someone could get hurt and it will undoubtedly be me.
I'm not sure I can cope with losing another person I love.
You're with her now, Remus. It's too late to undo anything. Enjoy this night and worry about it later.
You'll regret it if you let this moment slip.**
"Was it good?" he considered in a frank tone of voice. "No-"
Hermione turned away in shame and struggled to climb from the desk.
**I can't believe he just came out and said it like that - he could have a bit more tact.
I should have known better - what could I possibly give an experienced man when I've only ever known Harry intimately?
Maybe I can just hide in a dark corner until we're set free from this place. Maybe he'll just ignore me.**
Rising, Remus took her arm and pulled her back. He brought a hand to her face, compelling her to look at him. She frantically evaded his eyes, hoping he wouldn't spy the tears nearly brimming over hers.
"Hermione, listen.look at me, please."
She refused. Remus drew his face nearer to her pained profile.
"It was *unbelievable*."
She turned to him dumbfounded, her eyes flashing with nervous hope.
"Do you mean that?" she demanded.
"Yes."
Hermione released a short, relieved sob, a few tears speeding down her face. She studied him tenderly and then punched him hard on the arm.
"That's for trying to be clever and completely humiliating me in the process," she said with good-natured aggravation.
Remus acted injured, massaging the spot where Hermione's fist had landed and giving her a pitiful expression.
"And this," she said, her arms encircling his waist. "is for everything else."
**It's so powerful.
Can he feel it, too?
Why is it so damned powerful?
Things are coming at me too fast, too soon and I can't make it stop.
It's like drowning, but I'm not dying.
No - I'm being reborn.**
Her lips brushed against the sensitive skin below his ear. Hermione heard him breathe a rough sigh, his body slackening against her.
"Why don't you let me have another go?" she suggested in a soft voice. "'Unbelievable' is good, but 'unimaginable' would be a bit better. You know how I always strive to push my limits."
Her fingers slid down his abdomen and closed around his hardening shaft. Her grip firm, she slowly pumped him, his member straining powerfully in her fist. A rumbling, guttural howl escaped Remus' lips and he felt Hermione smile against his neck as her fingers crept back up to his chest.
"If you don't do something soon, Hermione," Remus said through a tense grin, his eyes blazing and his breathing noticeably ragged, "I refuse to be held responsible for my actions."
"Is that a yes, Remus?" she asked innocuously, gently dragging her nail over his nipple.
"Mm-Hmm," was the best reply Remus could manage as he shuddered lightly at her teasing touch.
Her lips lingered as close as possible to his ear and she asked in her smoothest, most pleasing voice, "Are you sure now, Remus? I hate to be a bother."
Eliminating any and all doubt, he thrust his hand into the thick mess of curls at the nape of her neck and crushed her mouth to his. Hermione sidled up to him and pressed her hand to his chest, pushing him prone against the desk. He settled with a grunt, smoldering in the heat of her aggression. Her lithe form bent over him, hungry to plunge her tongue into the depths of his mouth and taste him fully. As they devoured each other in frenzied kisses, her breasts swayed gently, their stony tips trailing feather-light strokes across his chest.
Hermione strayed lower, exploring the flesh of his chin and neck with a roaming tongue, pausing to suck hungrily at his Adam's apple. Her mouth slid to his chest, nipples standing erect and straining from his body. Her lips closed around one, savoring the mild, salty flavor of his skin. She flicked and sucked at him, delighted to hear his quiet, pleasured murmurings. Traveling on, she bathed him in the warm, winding motions of her tongue, descending down his rib cage to his belly and back up again.
He shivered softly, hands in her hair, urging her back to his lips. As she obliged, she moved her leg over him and straddled him at the waist. Remus shifted immediately to accommodate her weight, his body galvanized by her dexterity. She spread her hands flat against his chest and elevated herself, straight-backed and proud, like a queen surveying her kingdom. Her eyes narrowed toward him and intensity fixed her features. A mischievous smile spread across her face. Remus could feel his desire rising rapidly at the sight of the small, sinuous figure presiding over him in scheming confidence.
"I always did like being on top," she said thoughtfully, the soft curves of her breast supple and prominent against her slender torso. "Top of my class, top of my game, top of my professor."
She flashed an impish smile then glanced over her shoulder and around his body, apparently perplexed.
"Now, how do you work this thing?"
They laughed.
"I've no doubt you can master it Miss Granger," Remus teased. "The parts fit together quite nicely. Give it a try."
"Hmm," she played along, again looking around her as if confused. "Let me see -"
Moving back over his pelvis, Hermione grasped his erection and positioned herself above it. She descended gradually, haltingly over him, his head parting her body open and his shaft occupying her void with devastating fullness.
"Hermione -" he moaned, feeling the tight, hot inner flesh of her body swallow him whole. His eyelids sagged with pleasure.
She shivered at his blissful response, yet chuckled quietly to know she had such power over him. Baring down, she gently rocked her hips around him. He moved deeper inside of her, disturbing and provoking the sensitive nerves that awaited his arousal. His pulsing motions caused her sex to throb and burn and grow slick. Hips arched with eager stokes and Hermione found it difficult to maintain any kind of restraint. She rode him vigorously, her body rising nearly off his erection then slamming back down around it, mad to drive him into her most reactive pockets of flesh. Remus' hands, strong and masterful, went to her waist. He helped guide her thrusts, easing her up and pulling her back down with increasing force. A small, throaty sound escaped her lips, assuring Remus that their joint efforts were successful. Her body rode faster and his hands pulled stronger. She threw her head back wildly, long hair flying all around her, nails baring into his chest, and breasts bouncing freely. Pure pleasure swept through her. She felt like she was dying a sweet death, his length stabbing into her over and over and over, the wound only more gratifying with each blow.
**Drowning-
Yes - drowning - a nice way to go-**
"Hermione," Remus panted. "Lean forward a bit."
She inclined toward him, his head straining up to meet her lips in a breathless kiss.
As her torso tilted, his member shifted within her, striking an unquestionable bulls eye and producing a stunning ripple of pleasure in her loins. She moaned in approval as she and Remus pounded mercilessly into each other. Hands blindly cupped and groped her breasts. Her body, still held up with palms pressed to his chest, jerked forward with every beat of their grinding bodies.
The hot, white light began to radiate behind her eyes. She rose atop him again and arched her back severely, responding to the explosive sensations beginning to resonate through her body. Crying out in ecstasy, her head sank backward, curls hanging almost to the desk, and her neck curved forward dramatically. Remus brought his hands to her torso, both to support her as she frantically flung her body backwards, and to hold her tight against him as he anticipated his own orgasm. He felt her tremble against his grasp and he began to shake with her, his body succumbing to the flickering fires that burned hotter and hotter in his loins. The pounding rhythms tore through him from within. His climax moved him mindlessly and he bore himself into her with little spastic thrusts. Together they pushed and throbbed and quaked.
She collapsed against him as their bodies quieted. Remus, weak from fatigue, held her limply, his mind suddenly running frantic with thoughts.
**I love her - I want her - rules be damned - I'll have her.
She's made you lose control - she's disarmed you completely - imagine the damage she could do if you indulged your desire for her regularly - you'll lose yourself in this girl - you'll lose your mind.
She's a child - you're a toy - another game to keep her entertained - you're nothing to her - she'll let you think she's all yours and then she'll tire of you and move on.
You're old and emotionally stunted - how could you make a girl like her happy - she's beautiful - she could have any boy or man she wanted - and she probably will - you're a fool if you think you can hold on to her.
But go ahead - be her puppy dog and follow after her pathetically - just don't say you weren't warned when she breaks your heart like all the others.**
"Remus, what's wrong?" Hermione asked, regarding him with concern. "You're shaking."
**I'm scared, Hermione-
Please help me - please save me-**
She slid her hands up and down his arms hoping to ease his tremors, but she couldn't calm him. He cleared his throat and gave her a sheepish smile.
"I'm just starting to feel a bit chilly. That's all," he lied.
"Do you want your robes? I can cover us up with it."
"Okay."
With a tinge of fear and sadness, he felt her warm weight leave him. Naked and alone, he stared at the ceiling, trying to calm his inner voices. He could hear her feet shuffle across the cold floor, yank his robes from the table where he'd set them, and shuffle back. Before he knew it, she reappeared over him, flinging the tattered but warm material on top of them.
**Thank you, love, but that only bandages the wound.
I need to be healed -
Please heal me, love - please - Hermione -**
"How's that?" she asked, looking down at him protectively.
"Better," he whispered hoarsely, enfolding her in his arms as she again settled down against him.
"Good."
Her eyelids fell shut and before long he could feel the steady breath of sleep blow gently upon his chest.
**Please - just go to sleep - you can worry about it tomorrow - sleep - sleep - sleep - sleep.**.
Remus remembered nothing after that.
Awaken Me By Evenstar496
Chapter 1
"This night is mine It's only you and I Tomorrow Is a long time away This night can last forever
I've been around Someone like me should know better Falling in love Would be the worst thing I could do
This night You're mine It's only you and I I'll tell you To forget yesterday This night we are together" -Billy Joel
When Remus awoke, it was still evening. He didn't know if the locks had been undone and it vaguely occurred to him that he didn't give a damn. His head was pillowed against Hermione's soft stomach. Everything else seemed irrelevant.
**She's still here.
It wasn't a dream.**
She was warm and soft and real. Her long, slim arms draped around him tenderly.
**God, I never want to move again. I'll give everything I have to live here forever, buried in her flesh and form.**
He could feel her heartbeat pulse steadily against his ear, hear the gentle inhale and exhale of her breath. The proof of her existence felt like the very validation of his own. When did his universe begin to revolve so perilously around this girl? His student.
**What's happening to me? Why on earth can I think of nothing but Hermione?
I thought perhaps the sex might purge her from my system, but now I'm twice as taken with her.
Is it possible this is more than attraction, more than a silly, misguided infatuation?** He pondered, noting that he couldn't even remember the last time he'd felt so thoroughly contented.
**I have no answers - maybe there are none -
I've lived in the concrete and logical for so many years - Apart from the werewolf, I don't think I know how to run on instinct anymore.
I'm not even sure I'd want to if I did - but I am sure I want her.**
His mind could register little but wonder and gratitude at this unexpected fortune. He couldn't look at her without feeling the impulse to envelop her in his body, smother her in kisses, and slide his fingers across her responsive flesh. In his most fantastic fantasies, he'd never dared to consider this particular reality. But as he lay against her, he felt he'd finally found a home in the affection of her gaze and the warmth of her body. Indeed, it held promise as a safe, strong residence, one that would not suddenly lock its doors against him and force him away. Not since his school days at Hogwarts had he felt so stunningly alive.
Hermione sighed softly in her sleep and stirred nearer to him, as if his thoughts had found their way into her dreams. He raised himself up slightly, careful to avoid disturbing her too much, and studied her. Her head lay slanted to one side and a slight smile played at the corners of her mouth. Her eyelids fluttered occasionally, long lashes dancing in correspondence. Remus was certain a glow radiated from her pallid skin.
"I didn't think she could be any *more* alluring," he whispered, drawn to the tranquility of her features.
Remus drifted nearer to her lips and hovered hesitantly over them for a moment. He gave her a scarce kiss, hoping to avoid disrupting her slumber, but she made a noise and stretched slightly as he watched her. Her eyes opened tentatively, and Hermione happily found herself in the midst of Remus' penetrating gaze.
She smiled sleepily.
"Mmmm - hi," she said, yawning.
**Please let him be real - please let him be real-**
"Hi," he replied. "Sorry to wake you."
"No worry," Hermione said, rising stiffly from the hardwood desk. "I think I prefer this to my dreams,"
She raised a hand to his cheek and caressed it.
**Oh, praise the gods! He is real - and I can touch him and feel him and smell him - and-**
He kissed her again and this time her lips met his eagerly. Hardly breathing, they sought each other hungrily, their appetites for each other not nearly quenched. After several minutes, Remus tore himself away. His eyes were misty as he drank in her loveliness. She blushed slightly under his scrutiny.
"Have you any idea how beautiful you are?"
Hermione reddened with embarrassment. She made a dismissive noise and tried to turn her head away, but he'd brought his hand to her chin and refused to let her escape his view.
"I never had you pegged as a sentimentalist," she demurred, giving in to his persistent attention.
"I'm full of surprises," he grinned.
"I noticed," she said, her hand passing briefly over his awakening erection.
Eyelids sinking indulgently, he gave a breathy laugh and struggled to focus on something other than pouncing on her and insisting she finish the job she'd just started.
**Have some control, Remus. You've already defiled her once tonight. Give her a rest - then lay into her.**
"Here, it's your turn," he said, settling himself on his back again. "Curl up against me."
She did so eagerly, glad to press her cheek to his firm chest and lay encircled in his arms. Words fell away as they lay quietly, both complete in the closeness of the other. Remus' hands explored her back, thrilling at the delicacy of her smooth skin against his, while Hermoine's fingers traveled the soft terrain of his chest, taking in every hair and slight scar with a sort of reverence. Her slim legs tangled with his.
"Remus?"
"Yes?"
"What happened tonight?"
**We shagged. It was fun. Nothing more - no, no, no, no - nothing more.
Quit fooling yourself, Remus, you'll have to face your feelings eventually.
Eventually, but not now.**
"Between us?" he asked blankly.
"No, between Hagrid and McGonagall," she said, sarcasm sharp in her voice. She smirked up at him.
"Watch your tone, Miss Granger," Remus said in mock severity. "Don't forget, I'm still your professor."
"What are you going to do? Punish me? You tried that earlier - I found it rather enjoyable."
She stretched her hand down Remus' thigh and leisurely drew it back up again, his muscles flexing gently at her touch.
"*Rather* enjoyable?"
"Well, I've always found it wise to leave room for improvement. I'd hate to see you get so confident in your abilities that you quit trying as - uh - hard," she teased, delving her fingers into the shock of light hair surrounding his ever hardening member.
"I promise you that will NEVER be a problem," he grinned.
He leaned toward Hermione and kissed her forehead. She brought her hand to his belly, her fingers tenderly intermingling with his and turned to him soberly.
"Seriously, Remus, what happened tonight?"
He sighed.
"Hermione, if I had the answer to that question we probably wouldn't be rolling about the room naked. Had I known or understood any of this, I would have stopped it. But I don't remember processing much of anything this evening. My brain's been absent for several hours."
"Uh-huh - It's not as painful as I'd thought."
"Painful, no. Scary, yes."
"Scary?"
"I'm old and set in my ways. My habits sustain me. Deviating from them sets me all off balance and that's not so easy to regain at my age."
"Oh, stop it. You talk like you're on your deathbed. Why do you keep insisting that you're old?"
"Well - frankly, I only feel half alive most of the time."
"Because you're a werewolf?"
"Indirectly - my lifestyle dictates that certain experiences will always be denied me. I'm your proverbial beast in a cage, watching the rest of the world enjoy a life I'll never know."
Hermione was quiet for a moment, reflecting on his comments.
"Do you feel awfully isolated?" she asked, quietly.
"Yes," he said. The warmth had nearly dropped out of his voice, leaving behind an uncomfortable tone of gravity.
"I do, too."
"You don't seem like it."
"That's because I'm just used to it and - well, you do the math - I'm an only child, I'm too smart for my own good, and I grew up a witch in the Muggle world. I've always been the freak, the loser, the weirdo. I've never been like other kids. I never even had friends until I came here."
"You carry yourself like someone who's completely satisfied with life."
"So do you, Remus. All of the students love you. You're the friendliest, most popular professor at Hogwarts. I don't think I've ever seen you without a smile on your face and that funny sparkle in your eyes."
"I'm a fine actor when I have to be."
"Exactly. How do you think I learned to be such an obstinate, bossy know-it-all?"
He snorted softly.
"What about Harry and Ron? The three of you might as well be sown together at your collective hips."
"Oh god, no!" she said, horrified. "They're the only real friends I've ever had and I love them desperately, but there are things about me that even they will never understand. After all, they didn't much care for me when we first met - granted, I was a little high-strung in those days. That first meeting kind of set the standard for the three of us. I've always felt slightly set apart from them. Harry and Ron go off and have fun and I stick around the common room to do school work. I don't think they'll ever comprehend that I'm studious because I *like* to learn. It's not a chore for me."
She sighed wearily.
"Of course, I've been an odd duck my entire life," she continued. "No friends. No brothers or sisters. Just my thoughts and my books. They're really my closest companions bec-"
"-Because books won't judge you or look at you funny or abandon you."
Hermione, craning her neck around to gape at Remus, was taken aback by his uncanny ability to predict her thoughts.
"So you're taking lessons from Trelawney now, are you? 'Have you made contact with your inner eye, Remus dear?'" Hermione said, mimicking the Divinity professor's wispy, melodramatic speech.
Remus laughed and tweaked her nose. She scrunched up her face, giggling with him.
"Thank god, no. I've yet to develop any extrasensory skills. Though if I ever do, I suspect I'll keep that from her -- unless she already knows," he deadpanned.
"I'm not holding my breath, thank you - Still, I'm impressed. You were dead on."
"I know a thing or two about being the strange kid who sits inside all day and reads. Actually, life really hasn't changed all that much," he said derisively.
"Are you very unhappy?"
"It's really not a matter of happy or unhappy. I've grown accustomed to my options in life. As long as I have a warm place to sleep, food to eat, and students to teach I'm quite content."
"You don't ever want anything more than that?"
"At one time I did. But when you transform into a flesh-eating beast every month, you learn rather quickly that seeking anything more than stability guarantees disappointment. You have to appreciate what you have. Besides, when you've gone long enough without something, you forget why you wanted it in the first place."
Hermione pursed her lips and arched her eyebrow with glaring skepticism.
"Is that really how you feel or is that what you tell yourself to get through the day?"
"Does it matter?" He released a mild sigh, exasperated by her trademark inquisitiveness. "No one gets hurt and life goes on peacefully. Why ask for trouble?"
As usual, her perceptive skills were razor-sharp. It made Remus uneasy. He wasn't in the mood to have Hermione probing his deepest, darkest depths in hopes of exposing all of his hidden and unpleasant truths.
"You tell me - after all, you *are* my professor and we *did* just have the most heated sex I've ever experienced. What do you call that?"
He was uncomfortably silent.
**Complete hypocrisy, Hermione - That's what I call it.
I'm a fake, a phony, an imitation of another man who died long ago.
Is that what you want to hear?
Trust me, girl, denial is terribly underrated as a means of survival.**
"Remus?"
"Yes?" he replied, hesitantly.
"When was the last time you were in love?"
"I don't know." Remus answered, sounding put-upon. "Probably a decade ago."
"And?"
"And I haven't cared to complicate my life in that fashion again," he asserted with finality.
"Why? Did she break your heart? Did she die?"
He was becoming annoyed.
**This is what I get for lusting after Hogwarts' teen prodigy-**
"Because, like every woman I've cared for, she conveniently lost interest in me right around the time she discovered my dirty little secret," he said with an edge.
"Who was she?"
"Hermione, why on earth do you need to know every gory detail of my pitiful love life?" he snapped slightly.
"Because I'm curious and I want to understand you," she said matter- of-factly, then paused, and went on quietly, "And I want to understand you because I care-"
His aggravation began to diminish. Though he said nothing initially, he soon found himself disarmed by her earnestness.
"She was a girl I'd gone to school with here," he answered grudgingly. "We spent a lot of time together - just as friends. I was reunited with her many years later when we were teaching at the same school and we became involved. I actually managed to keep the truth from her for several months before she became suspicious and started asking questions."
"And you loved her?"
"Yes"
"More than all the others?"
"I wouldn't say that. It - it was simply a case of one disappointment too many. I had to give up the game and face reality if I wanted to save myself."
**So why am I lining myself up before the executioner again?**
Remus sounded so somber Hermione began to regret her intrusiveness.
"I'm sorry, Remus," she said, barely above a whisper. "I need to learn when let things drop. It's really none of my business."
Her face was mournful and sincere as she looked up at him, rendering him incapable of remaining irritated with her.
"For god's sake, Hermione we're lying here naked. It seems a bit silly to start splitting hairs about what's private and what's not."
She grinned. "I suppose you do have a point."
Another stretch of silence.
"Remus?"
"Yes?"
"Was it good? Tonight?"
He gazed into her brown eyes. They were tremulous with uncertainty and unnerved him as they searched his face with raw, unrestrained emotion. No one had looked at him that way in years. He wanted so badly to let go and freefall into this whirlwind of passion and vitality.
But something held him back. Terror. He was unfazed by their nude bodies lying there, but this undressed emotional state was far too perilous.
**Someone could get hurt and it will undoubtedly be me.
I'm not sure I can cope with losing another person I love.
You're with her now, Remus. It's too late to undo anything. Enjoy this night and worry about it later.
You'll regret it if you let this moment slip.**
"Was it good?" he considered in a frank tone of voice. "No-"
Hermione turned away in shame and struggled to climb from the desk.
**I can't believe he just came out and said it like that - he could have a bit more tact.
I should have known better - what could I possibly give an experienced man when I've only ever known Harry intimately?
Maybe I can just hide in a dark corner until we're set free from this place. Maybe he'll just ignore me.**
Rising, Remus took her arm and pulled her back. He brought a hand to her face, compelling her to look at him. She frantically evaded his eyes, hoping he wouldn't spy the tears nearly brimming over hers.
"Hermione, listen.look at me, please."
She refused. Remus drew his face nearer to her pained profile.
"It was *unbelievable*."
She turned to him dumbfounded, her eyes flashing with nervous hope.
"Do you mean that?" she demanded.
"Yes."
Hermione released a short, relieved sob, a few tears speeding down her face. She studied him tenderly and then punched him hard on the arm.
"That's for trying to be clever and completely humiliating me in the process," she said with good-natured aggravation.
Remus acted injured, massaging the spot where Hermione's fist had landed and giving her a pitiful expression.
"And this," she said, her arms encircling his waist. "is for everything else."
**It's so powerful.
Can he feel it, too?
Why is it so damned powerful?
Things are coming at me too fast, too soon and I can't make it stop.
It's like drowning, but I'm not dying.
No - I'm being reborn.**
Her lips brushed against the sensitive skin below his ear. Hermione heard him breathe a rough sigh, his body slackening against her.
"Why don't you let me have another go?" she suggested in a soft voice. "'Unbelievable' is good, but 'unimaginable' would be a bit better. You know how I always strive to push my limits."
Her fingers slid down his abdomen and closed around his hardening shaft. Her grip firm, she slowly pumped him, his member straining powerfully in her fist. A rumbling, guttural howl escaped Remus' lips and he felt Hermione smile against his neck as her fingers crept back up to his chest.
"If you don't do something soon, Hermione," Remus said through a tense grin, his eyes blazing and his breathing noticeably ragged, "I refuse to be held responsible for my actions."
"Is that a yes, Remus?" she asked innocuously, gently dragging her nail over his nipple.
"Mm-Hmm," was the best reply Remus could manage as he shuddered lightly at her teasing touch.
Her lips lingered as close as possible to his ear and she asked in her smoothest, most pleasing voice, "Are you sure now, Remus? I hate to be a bother."
Eliminating any and all doubt, he thrust his hand into the thick mess of curls at the nape of her neck and crushed her mouth to his. Hermione sidled up to him and pressed her hand to his chest, pushing him prone against the desk. He settled with a grunt, smoldering in the heat of her aggression. Her lithe form bent over him, hungry to plunge her tongue into the depths of his mouth and taste him fully. As they devoured each other in frenzied kisses, her breasts swayed gently, their stony tips trailing feather-light strokes across his chest.
Hermione strayed lower, exploring the flesh of his chin and neck with a roaming tongue, pausing to suck hungrily at his Adam's apple. Her mouth slid to his chest, nipples standing erect and straining from his body. Her lips closed around one, savoring the mild, salty flavor of his skin. She flicked and sucked at him, delighted to hear his quiet, pleasured murmurings. Traveling on, she bathed him in the warm, winding motions of her tongue, descending down his rib cage to his belly and back up again.
He shivered softly, hands in her hair, urging her back to his lips. As she obliged, she moved her leg over him and straddled him at the waist. Remus shifted immediately to accommodate her weight, his body galvanized by her dexterity. She spread her hands flat against his chest and elevated herself, straight-backed and proud, like a queen surveying her kingdom. Her eyes narrowed toward him and intensity fixed her features. A mischievous smile spread across her face. Remus could feel his desire rising rapidly at the sight of the small, sinuous figure presiding over him in scheming confidence.
"I always did like being on top," she said thoughtfully, the soft curves of her breast supple and prominent against her slender torso. "Top of my class, top of my game, top of my professor."
She flashed an impish smile then glanced over her shoulder and around his body, apparently perplexed.
"Now, how do you work this thing?"
They laughed.
"I've no doubt you can master it Miss Granger," Remus teased. "The parts fit together quite nicely. Give it a try."
"Hmm," she played along, again looking around her as if confused. "Let me see -"
Moving back over his pelvis, Hermione grasped his erection and positioned herself above it. She descended gradually, haltingly over him, his head parting her body open and his shaft occupying her void with devastating fullness.
"Hermione -" he moaned, feeling the tight, hot inner flesh of her body swallow him whole. His eyelids sagged with pleasure.
She shivered at his blissful response, yet chuckled quietly to know she had such power over him. Baring down, she gently rocked her hips around him. He moved deeper inside of her, disturbing and provoking the sensitive nerves that awaited his arousal. His pulsing motions caused her sex to throb and burn and grow slick. Hips arched with eager stokes and Hermione found it difficult to maintain any kind of restraint. She rode him vigorously, her body rising nearly off his erection then slamming back down around it, mad to drive him into her most reactive pockets of flesh. Remus' hands, strong and masterful, went to her waist. He helped guide her thrusts, easing her up and pulling her back down with increasing force. A small, throaty sound escaped her lips, assuring Remus that their joint efforts were successful. Her body rode faster and his hands pulled stronger. She threw her head back wildly, long hair flying all around her, nails baring into his chest, and breasts bouncing freely. Pure pleasure swept through her. She felt like she was dying a sweet death, his length stabbing into her over and over and over, the wound only more gratifying with each blow.
**Drowning-
Yes - drowning - a nice way to go-**
"Hermione," Remus panted. "Lean forward a bit."
She inclined toward him, his head straining up to meet her lips in a breathless kiss.
As her torso tilted, his member shifted within her, striking an unquestionable bulls eye and producing a stunning ripple of pleasure in her loins. She moaned in approval as she and Remus pounded mercilessly into each other. Hands blindly cupped and groped her breasts. Her body, still held up with palms pressed to his chest, jerked forward with every beat of their grinding bodies.
The hot, white light began to radiate behind her eyes. She rose atop him again and arched her back severely, responding to the explosive sensations beginning to resonate through her body. Crying out in ecstasy, her head sank backward, curls hanging almost to the desk, and her neck curved forward dramatically. Remus brought his hands to her torso, both to support her as she frantically flung her body backwards, and to hold her tight against him as he anticipated his own orgasm. He felt her tremble against his grasp and he began to shake with her, his body succumbing to the flickering fires that burned hotter and hotter in his loins. The pounding rhythms tore through him from within. His climax moved him mindlessly and he bore himself into her with little spastic thrusts. Together they pushed and throbbed and quaked.
She collapsed against him as their bodies quieted. Remus, weak from fatigue, held her limply, his mind suddenly running frantic with thoughts.
**I love her - I want her - rules be damned - I'll have her.
She's made you lose control - she's disarmed you completely - imagine the damage she could do if you indulged your desire for her regularly - you'll lose yourself in this girl - you'll lose your mind.
She's a child - you're a toy - another game to keep her entertained - you're nothing to her - she'll let you think she's all yours and then she'll tire of you and move on.
You're old and emotionally stunted - how could you make a girl like her happy - she's beautiful - she could have any boy or man she wanted - and she probably will - you're a fool if you think you can hold on to her.
But go ahead - be her puppy dog and follow after her pathetically - just don't say you weren't warned when she breaks your heart like all the others.**
"Remus, what's wrong?" Hermione asked, regarding him with concern. "You're shaking."
**I'm scared, Hermione-
Please help me - please save me-**
She slid her hands up and down his arms hoping to ease his tremors, but she couldn't calm him. He cleared his throat and gave her a sheepish smile.
"I'm just starting to feel a bit chilly. That's all," he lied.
"Do you want your robes? I can cover us up with it."
"Okay."
With a tinge of fear and sadness, he felt her warm weight leave him. Naked and alone, he stared at the ceiling, trying to calm his inner voices. He could hear her feet shuffle across the cold floor, yank his robes from the table where he'd set them, and shuffle back. Before he knew it, she reappeared over him, flinging the tattered but warm material on top of them.
**Thank you, love, but that only bandages the wound.
I need to be healed -
Please heal me, love - please - Hermione -**
"How's that?" she asked, looking down at him protectively.
"Better," he whispered hoarsely, enfolding her in his arms as she again settled down against him.
"Good."
Her eyelids fell shut and before long he could feel the steady breath of sleep blow gently upon his chest.
**Please - just go to sleep - you can worry about it tomorrow - sleep - sleep - sleep - sleep.**.
Remus remembered nothing after that.