~ Things You Would Never Hear On Harry Potter 2 ~
Hagrid: Ohmygawd! Where did this porn magazine come from??
Harry: I have squirrels in my pants.
Snape: Now, I want everyone to know that I am a dunderhead and I know nothing more than telling you wonderful children to do as I tell you to make myself feel better.
Lupin: Ooooh, I see a grindylow!! (jumps into lake) ((What a git he can be))
Hermione: SCREW SCHOOL!!! SCREW IT RIGHT UP THE ARS!!
Ron: (walks out with purple hair) Yo, this was the freshest look in da' book, yo!
Ginny: I am.super woman!
Mrs. Weasley: Stupid Harry Potter! I can't afford feeding you like this. Go back to the farking Dursley's where you belong.
Fang: Bark.. (well.I have nothing to say about this)
(Must I remind the readers that I am insane and if you don't like this I will eat your eye out with a cereal spoon.thank you for your time)
Dumbledore: Stupid children, *grumble* Grr, I could have been an astronaut. But noooo, I gave that up for a bunch of children.
Lavender: I am dreading that my pants will fall down soon. (drop) Uh, my dialogue is not funny at all. I want my lawyer.
Neville: I deserve better dialogue!! I'll sue.suuuuuuuuuue!!! (goes insane while he smooshes Trevor between his chubby finger tips)
Bill: Where did my fishy gooooo?
Mr. Weasley: (dances in a pink tutu and sings phantom of the opera theme song) ((Need I say more?))
Fudge: Arrgggh!!! *groan* I can't..do it!! I can't.get..aaaghhhh!!! Give me the darn winter fresh gum already.
Trelawney: I am an idiot and I like smelling people's toes. Harry: *huff* no really?
Percy: And where do I stick this Penny???
Bill: Slumber party!!! (well, he might say that.I don't know)
Fred: I am lord of the chickens!!!
George: I am going to start thinking about my future education..
Dobby: Dobby has come to invite Harry Potter to lingerie party. Harry: O_o
Cedric: Let's get this shit on Harry Pot-head!!!
Mcgonagall: Prepare for pre-P.M.S. attack!!!
Hagrid: I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK! I sleep all night and I work all day!! ((Cackle))
Sirius: I control your nipples!!! (I seriously apologize for this. My friend did this dedicated to the Invader Zim slash with Zim and Dib. Read it, it's hilarious! Remember.Sirius controls your nipples!!!!)
Pettigrew: Ohmygawd! I have to point with my middle finger. I am so stupid!! (Point) I did it again! No.one will notice. Yeah, no one will notice.
Dark evil voice: The ring wants its master.the ring wants its master. Sauron + Voldemort: What do you want? Voldemort: Hey.you're not in this volume! Get out! Sauron: *huffy breath* I go where I please.. Voldemort: WORMTAIL!!! Death-Eater: Oh.my gawd! Guess what? Death-Eater#2: Like.what!! Death-Eater: I like.got my crusty toe nails painted! Death-Eater + Death-Eater#2: *SQUEALS*
Ron: Why is your butt in my face? (random, no?)
Hermione: *belch* THERE IT IS AGAIN. THE BURPING, FLYING, INVISIBLE SPIDER!!
Malfoy: One plus one equals one on a bun! Duuuh.
Crabbe: Ow, stop hitting me behind master Malfoy! (Ew..who did this perverse dialogue.it's funny ^_^)
Goyle: Yo, dawg! That's some ill shit yer' got dere' Malfoy. ((Thug-ish))
Snape: I need a girlfriend.*heavy sigh*
Flitwick: Remember girls.shaving off your pubic hair, will not rid you of crab infestation. ((ONCE AGAIN.I apologize, this was not me. Just a really perverted person who should not be here.I will bite him now))
Mrs. Weasley: What would you like for dinner Ron? Ron: Pork-butts and taders!! Mrs. Weasley: This is the muggles fault. If he hadn't been hanging around them he wouldn't have gone stupid!
Fluer: I've always wanted to know, what do you exactly MEAN by grindylow?
James: Lily smells like ocean sewage. *Smack* Er, I mean ocean breeze.when polluted. *Smack* Ow!
Maxime: Stupid Hagrid. Stop looking at me. I'm too much for you to handle! Ron: You got that right.
Filch: Now Mrs. Norris. Try to be nicer to the little children today. Trelawney: I have visions, visions of.ew! Oh my dear god.what--Dumbledore? What the hell is he wearing! Oh my delicate eyes!! Aaaaahhhh!
Ollivander: Who are you again. (He's too smart and all-knowing to say that. He should have a bigger dialogue. Therefore, he is my right hand man writing this. He's so smart!!)
Malfoy: Apply slimy shit to greasy hair.
Remus: Not to long ago, I was dating this girl.and she was like, 'hi'. And I was like, 'hi' back. We went out and we ate dinner.then she was like, 'you're paying right?' I was like.'no, you asked me out.' Then she like got all mad.and she walked away. I got to do dishes! ((I know this isn't very funny but.who cares))
Parvarti: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful! *squeals* ((If I was there.I would have shot her))
(Did you know when I was typing this, I wrote in Parvarti's name and it said on spell check.Pervert. Haha! And just know when I did Parvarti's name.it said.Pervert's.HAHA! God I'm bored.)
Ron: Cheesamuffins!!!
Voldemort: Come over to the dark side..I have peanuts.
Dementor: Want a kiss little girl. I use winter fresh.
Lockhart: I am..morbid angel!!! Snape: Stupid.I'm more morbid than you will ever be, you prancing, skipping, dunderhead of a thousand fools that wears pink and eats heart shaped cookies, and smells like cotton candy, and.sod off!
Mcgonagall: Potter, I will make you head boy and let you do whatever you wish.even go into places so unknown they're forbidden even to the faculty, and I will give you many points even when not earned. All I ask.is you hook me up with Remus. Remus: (A far, far place away from Hogwarts) *sneeze* Someone's talking about me. Lily: What do you see Professor? Trelawney: I see you.and James. You will have a baby that will be known as Harry Potter, the boy who lived. You shall die protecting him after many years, James will die too. Harry will be un-loved until Hagrid finds him.and takes him here later. You're.still dead. Lily: That went right over my head.repeat it please? (obviously not paying attention) Trelawney: You're going to grow another head.
Percy: YOU ARE SO NOT HARDCORE!!!
Neville: Fear me all those who fears short, chubby, stupid, annoying little boys.
Cho: Oh Harry, you're just not boyfriend material. Harry: I'm famous. Cho: Okay, you convinced me.
Seamus: Oh my dear god! It's rum!!!
Quarrel: *Tarzan-like yell* I am Quarrel, King of Jungle!
Sirius: Harry, you look just like your father, and god you need a facial.
Charlie: Romania is pwetty, so are the dragons. I am going to act like I know what I am doing.
Dudley: Harry, you are so beautiful.
Mrs. Dursley: I'm going to divorce my husband and live off the benfits of becoming an old hag. Harry will receive everything in the event of my death. Harry: Hurrah! (What's she got that Harry needs?)
last one.almost there..
Harry Potter: Run away.it's-it's- it's Snape dressed in drag!!!!
Hagrid: Ohmygawd! Where did this porn magazine come from??
Harry: I have squirrels in my pants.
Snape: Now, I want everyone to know that I am a dunderhead and I know nothing more than telling you wonderful children to do as I tell you to make myself feel better.
Lupin: Ooooh, I see a grindylow!! (jumps into lake) ((What a git he can be))
Hermione: SCREW SCHOOL!!! SCREW IT RIGHT UP THE ARS!!
Ron: (walks out with purple hair) Yo, this was the freshest look in da' book, yo!
Ginny: I am.super woman!
Mrs. Weasley: Stupid Harry Potter! I can't afford feeding you like this. Go back to the farking Dursley's where you belong.
Fang: Bark.. (well.I have nothing to say about this)
(Must I remind the readers that I am insane and if you don't like this I will eat your eye out with a cereal spoon.thank you for your time)
Dumbledore: Stupid children, *grumble* Grr, I could have been an astronaut. But noooo, I gave that up for a bunch of children.
Lavender: I am dreading that my pants will fall down soon. (drop) Uh, my dialogue is not funny at all. I want my lawyer.
Neville: I deserve better dialogue!! I'll sue.suuuuuuuuuue!!! (goes insane while he smooshes Trevor between his chubby finger tips)
Bill: Where did my fishy gooooo?
Mr. Weasley: (dances in a pink tutu and sings phantom of the opera theme song) ((Need I say more?))
Fudge: Arrgggh!!! *groan* I can't..do it!! I can't.get..aaaghhhh!!! Give me the darn winter fresh gum already.
Trelawney: I am an idiot and I like smelling people's toes. Harry: *huff* no really?
Percy: And where do I stick this Penny???
Bill: Slumber party!!! (well, he might say that.I don't know)
Fred: I am lord of the chickens!!!
George: I am going to start thinking about my future education..
Dobby: Dobby has come to invite Harry Potter to lingerie party. Harry: O_o
Cedric: Let's get this shit on Harry Pot-head!!!
Mcgonagall: Prepare for pre-P.M.S. attack!!!
Hagrid: I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK! I sleep all night and I work all day!! ((Cackle))
Sirius: I control your nipples!!! (I seriously apologize for this. My friend did this dedicated to the Invader Zim slash with Zim and Dib. Read it, it's hilarious! Remember.Sirius controls your nipples!!!!)
Pettigrew: Ohmygawd! I have to point with my middle finger. I am so stupid!! (Point) I did it again! No.one will notice. Yeah, no one will notice.
Dark evil voice: The ring wants its master.the ring wants its master. Sauron + Voldemort: What do you want? Voldemort: Hey.you're not in this volume! Get out! Sauron: *huffy breath* I go where I please.. Voldemort: WORMTAIL!!! Death-Eater: Oh.my gawd! Guess what? Death-Eater#2: Like.what!! Death-Eater: I like.got my crusty toe nails painted! Death-Eater + Death-Eater#2: *SQUEALS*
Ron: Why is your butt in my face? (random, no?)
Hermione: *belch* THERE IT IS AGAIN. THE BURPING, FLYING, INVISIBLE SPIDER!!
Malfoy: One plus one equals one on a bun! Duuuh.
Crabbe: Ow, stop hitting me behind master Malfoy! (Ew..who did this perverse dialogue.it's funny ^_^)
Goyle: Yo, dawg! That's some ill shit yer' got dere' Malfoy. ((Thug-ish))
Snape: I need a girlfriend.*heavy sigh*
Flitwick: Remember girls.shaving off your pubic hair, will not rid you of crab infestation. ((ONCE AGAIN.I apologize, this was not me. Just a really perverted person who should not be here.I will bite him now))
Mrs. Weasley: What would you like for dinner Ron? Ron: Pork-butts and taders!! Mrs. Weasley: This is the muggles fault. If he hadn't been hanging around them he wouldn't have gone stupid!
Fluer: I've always wanted to know, what do you exactly MEAN by grindylow?
James: Lily smells like ocean sewage. *Smack* Er, I mean ocean breeze.when polluted. *Smack* Ow!
Maxime: Stupid Hagrid. Stop looking at me. I'm too much for you to handle! Ron: You got that right.
Filch: Now Mrs. Norris. Try to be nicer to the little children today. Trelawney: I have visions, visions of.ew! Oh my dear god.what--Dumbledore? What the hell is he wearing! Oh my delicate eyes!! Aaaaahhhh!
Ollivander: Who are you again. (He's too smart and all-knowing to say that. He should have a bigger dialogue. Therefore, he is my right hand man writing this. He's so smart!!)
Malfoy: Apply slimy shit to greasy hair.
Remus: Not to long ago, I was dating this girl.and she was like, 'hi'. And I was like, 'hi' back. We went out and we ate dinner.then she was like, 'you're paying right?' I was like.'no, you asked me out.' Then she like got all mad.and she walked away. I got to do dishes! ((I know this isn't very funny but.who cares))
Parvarti: Don't hate me because I'm beautiful! *squeals* ((If I was there.I would have shot her))
(Did you know when I was typing this, I wrote in Parvarti's name and it said on spell check.Pervert. Haha! And just know when I did Parvarti's name.it said.Pervert's.HAHA! God I'm bored.)
Ron: Cheesamuffins!!!
Voldemort: Come over to the dark side..I have peanuts.
Dementor: Want a kiss little girl. I use winter fresh.
Lockhart: I am..morbid angel!!! Snape: Stupid.I'm more morbid than you will ever be, you prancing, skipping, dunderhead of a thousand fools that wears pink and eats heart shaped cookies, and smells like cotton candy, and.sod off!
Mcgonagall: Potter, I will make you head boy and let you do whatever you wish.even go into places so unknown they're forbidden even to the faculty, and I will give you many points even when not earned. All I ask.is you hook me up with Remus. Remus: (A far, far place away from Hogwarts) *sneeze* Someone's talking about me. Lily: What do you see Professor? Trelawney: I see you.and James. You will have a baby that will be known as Harry Potter, the boy who lived. You shall die protecting him after many years, James will die too. Harry will be un-loved until Hagrid finds him.and takes him here later. You're.still dead. Lily: That went right over my head.repeat it please? (obviously not paying attention) Trelawney: You're going to grow another head.
Percy: YOU ARE SO NOT HARDCORE!!!
Neville: Fear me all those who fears short, chubby, stupid, annoying little boys.
Cho: Oh Harry, you're just not boyfriend material. Harry: I'm famous. Cho: Okay, you convinced me.
Seamus: Oh my dear god! It's rum!!!
Quarrel: *Tarzan-like yell* I am Quarrel, King of Jungle!
Sirius: Harry, you look just like your father, and god you need a facial.
Charlie: Romania is pwetty, so are the dragons. I am going to act like I know what I am doing.
Dudley: Harry, you are so beautiful.
Mrs. Dursley: I'm going to divorce my husband and live off the benfits of becoming an old hag. Harry will receive everything in the event of my death. Harry: Hurrah! (What's she got that Harry needs?)
last one.almost there..
Harry Potter: Run away.it's-it's- it's Snape dressed in drag!!!!