A/N: This is my(extremely lame)contribution to Red Nose Day. I know it's a bit late, but there was a problem with riots in the streets and bunking off school and that sort of thing distracts an Ambassador. Anyway, *this* is what you get when you feed me coffee and squishyfic and joie de vivre. Enjoy!
Oh, and, uh...I have Reeve and Cait Sith in my menagerie, and am collecting several others(except Nanaki and Yuffie who my friend Gabriel wants for one of his own captive-breeding program)but they are all strictly on loan from the huge and weirdyful zoo called Squaresoft.
______________________
A Convesation With Jenova
also titled
The Nature of the Beast
also titled
A Philosophical Party Trick
______________________
Somebody once told me
the world is gonna rule me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kinda dumb
with her finger and her thumb
in the shape of an L on her forehead...
-all star
______________________
Jenova: How is my ten-million-aeon plan
For destroying humanity going?
Underling: Very well, Jenova-sama.
Jenova: How is Rufus Shinra?(He's inventively evil.)
Underling: Well, erm, Jenova-sama-
He's locked himself in his office writing poems.
Jenova: WHAT?!
Underling: I said he's locked himself in his office writing poems.
Jenova: I know what you said you idiot
I can hear you perfectly well
You said that Rufus Shinra
Has locked himself in his office writing poems.
That's not right!
Rufus Shinra should be inspiring fear into the hearts of thousands
and monopolising Mako energy
and creating a Reign of Terror.
Underling: Yes, I know that's what he's *meant* to be doing
But he's locked himself in his office writing poems.
Jenova: WHY?!
Underling: He says he got bored with being evil.
Jenova: Well, what about Sephiroth?(You can't have mucked HIM up.)
Underling: Er, well, actually-
He's holding a kareoke contest.
Jenova: WHAT?!
Underling: I said he's holding a kareoke contest.
Jenova: I know what you said you idiot
I can hear you perfectly well
You said that Sephiroth
Is holding a kareoke contest.
That's not right!
Sephiroth should be causing supernatural chaos
and messing with the fabric of reality
and murdering millions of people.
Underling: Yes, I know that's what he's *meant* to be doing
But he's holding a kareoke contest.
Jenova: WHY?!?!
Underling: He says he got bored with being insane.
Jenova: Well, what about Vincent Valentine?(He MUST be on track!)
Underling: Uh, well, you see-
He's been singing nonsense to himself.
Jenova: WHAT?!
Underling: I said he's been singing nonsense to himself.
Jenova: I know what you said you idiot
I can hear you perfectly well
You said that Vincent Valentine
Has been singing nonsense to himself.
That's not right!
Vincent Valentine should be angsting about his lost love Lucrecia
and submitting to the demons of his unconcious
and sinking into unplumbed depths of sorrow.
Underling: Yes, I know that's what he's *meant* to be doing
But he's been singing nonsense to himself.
Jenova: WHY?!?!?!
Underling: He says he got bored with being depressed.
Jenova: Hell's dark thunder, you cretin!
You've messed everything up!
How are we supposed to reign in Terror, Death and Sorrow
If mortals keep writing and singing and being nonsensical?
Oh, and, uh...I have Reeve and Cait Sith in my menagerie, and am collecting several others(except Nanaki and Yuffie who my friend Gabriel wants for one of his own captive-breeding program)but they are all strictly on loan from the huge and weirdyful zoo called Squaresoft.
______________________
A Convesation With Jenova
also titled
The Nature of the Beast
also titled
A Philosophical Party Trick
______________________
Somebody once told me
the world is gonna rule me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kinda dumb
with her finger and her thumb
in the shape of an L on her forehead...
-all star
______________________
Jenova: How is my ten-million-aeon plan
For destroying humanity going?
Underling: Very well, Jenova-sama.
Jenova: How is Rufus Shinra?(He's inventively evil.)
Underling: Well, erm, Jenova-sama-
He's locked himself in his office writing poems.
Jenova: WHAT?!
Underling: I said he's locked himself in his office writing poems.
Jenova: I know what you said you idiot
I can hear you perfectly well
You said that Rufus Shinra
Has locked himself in his office writing poems.
That's not right!
Rufus Shinra should be inspiring fear into the hearts of thousands
and monopolising Mako energy
and creating a Reign of Terror.
Underling: Yes, I know that's what he's *meant* to be doing
But he's locked himself in his office writing poems.
Jenova: WHY?!
Underling: He says he got bored with being evil.
Jenova: Well, what about Sephiroth?(You can't have mucked HIM up.)
Underling: Er, well, actually-
He's holding a kareoke contest.
Jenova: WHAT?!
Underling: I said he's holding a kareoke contest.
Jenova: I know what you said you idiot
I can hear you perfectly well
You said that Sephiroth
Is holding a kareoke contest.
That's not right!
Sephiroth should be causing supernatural chaos
and messing with the fabric of reality
and murdering millions of people.
Underling: Yes, I know that's what he's *meant* to be doing
But he's holding a kareoke contest.
Jenova: WHY?!?!
Underling: He says he got bored with being insane.
Jenova: Well, what about Vincent Valentine?(He MUST be on track!)
Underling: Uh, well, you see-
He's been singing nonsense to himself.
Jenova: WHAT?!
Underling: I said he's been singing nonsense to himself.
Jenova: I know what you said you idiot
I can hear you perfectly well
You said that Vincent Valentine
Has been singing nonsense to himself.
That's not right!
Vincent Valentine should be angsting about his lost love Lucrecia
and submitting to the demons of his unconcious
and sinking into unplumbed depths of sorrow.
Underling: Yes, I know that's what he's *meant* to be doing
But he's been singing nonsense to himself.
Jenova: WHY?!?!?!
Underling: He says he got bored with being depressed.
Jenova: Hell's dark thunder, you cretin!
You've messed everything up!
How are we supposed to reign in Terror, Death and Sorrow
If mortals keep writing and singing and being nonsensical?