The TAG Collection

#5 – Calcium Scare

Highlights from the Original Story

After a dream sequence introduction with puppies as a common theme, this short number took us to the calcium-rich, small island of Porta Ferro. There, an evil Don Juaniski was wreaking havoc on the natural calcium supply. Billy, a regular Tums customer, was especially concerned about the potential fall-out of a calcium shortage. In his desperation to save the calcium supply and prevent a run on Tums, he assigned Lee and Amanda to partner with Emily to solve the case. Thanks to our favorite spy team, everything worked out fine. We join Billy back in his office for the TAG. (This TAG is narrated by my inner Billy and it appears that I'm rhyming again. I warned you that once I start, it's hard for me to stop. It took all the self-restraint I could muster not to rhyme this introduction.)

da TAG!


I hung up the phone on my desk and devoured another donut as I pondered the information Emily just shared in her report

She had to call in from the plane; Lee was too busy doting on Amanda to abort

Apparently they were still very engrossed in playing their covers
Of Amanda as the worldly Ms. Greenwich and Lee, her chauffeur and attentive lover

Although Lee was obsessing about Amanda's blow to the head
The MD confirmed she just had a mild concussion and needed to spend time resting in bed

According to Emily, Lee was helping in every way that he could
Including holding her tightly in his arms and feathering more kisses on her face than he should

Emily thought that he might be taking his role to the extreme
But said that Amanda was enjoying the attention, almost too much it seemed

Emily reported that all the baddies, including the Big Banana himself, had been found
Danger to the calcium supply eliminated, Porta Ferro economy saved, enough Tums to go around

So I can sit tall at my desk and continue to gloat and enjoy
Another evil plot foiled before it could deploy

There are days I'm astounded at the number of battles we fight

Sinister plights keep us busy morning, noon, and night

I look up at my door, hit with the desire to slam it and bellow
I take a deep breath remembering that I don't want to scare the little fellows

I walk to the center of my office and grin into the makeshift bin
Where the two cute little puppies are snoozing within

I pick up one of the pups; he isn't much bigger than my hand

He nestles against my chest, clearly a fan of my yellow cardigan


I reach down to pet him, vowing to find them a good home
Because just like the Scarecrow, they need love and support so they don't have to face this big, scary world all alone