Title: Life As I Know It
Chapter 17: Seriousness With A Side Of Humor
Disclaimer: No, I'm not adored by thousands of loyal fans, seeing as how I don't own Gilmore Girls.
A/N: Actually, it's more of a question. What does it mean when it's "literati"? Cause I don't know. Anyone wanna help me out?
~~~~~~
"Ms. Gilmore, there is someone on the phone for you."
"Who?" Lorelai was stacking towels in the Independence Inn, because three of the maids were home sick and they were short-staffed.
"She claims she's your mom."
"My mother?"
"That's what she said."
"Okay, thanks, Frank. I'll get it in a minute."
Frank nodded and headed back to the desk. Lorelai finished putting away the last of the towels and headed for the phone. She sighed and picked it up.
"Hi, Mom."
"Lorelai, I was wondering if you and Rory might want to join us at Martha's Vineyard this summer."
"Well, I don't think I can, but I'm sure Rory will be thrilled to come." Lorelai sorted through the mail on the desk.
"Why can't you?"
"Why can't I what, Mom?"
"Why can't you visit your father and I with Rory?"
Lorelai sighed. "Because I'm the manager of the Independence Inn, and I have been for three years. I can't just drop everything and rush to Martha's Vineyard."
"Why not?"
"Why not?" Lorelai repeated incredulously. "Mom, I might get fired!"
"Oh. Well, do you think Rory will come?"
"I don't know, you'll have to ask her."
"Okay, I guess I will. Good-bye, Lorelai."
"Bye." Lorelai hung up the phone and started massaging the huge headache that Emily had given her.
"Um, I'm looking for either a Lorelai or a Mia."
Lorelai looked up into the kind eyes of a round young woman. "Oh, I'm Lorelai."
"Hi, Lorelai, I'm Sookie St. James, here for the chef's job."
"Okay, Sookie, if you'll follow me, just lead you to the kitchen."
"Okay, now, I think I've already got the job. I mean, Mia told me I did, but just to make I brought a plate of my magic risotto."
"Okay, well if Mia told you you have the job, you have the job."
"Are you sure you don't want to taste the risotto?"
"Yeah, actually, I'm pretty busy, so..." Lorelai started walking through the Inn. Sookie followed her.
"Oh, but you have to try it. Just in case you have any doubts."
"Mia is the higher order I answer to, so if she says you're hired, you're hired."
"Try it anyway."
Lorelai sighed and turned around, right into a forkful of the magic risotto. "Oh my god! That's amazing!"
"That's why it's my magic risotto! So I've got the job?"
"Well, if you didn't have it already, yeah!"
"Great! Okay, so where's the kitchen? I wanna look around."
"Oh, it's that way." Lorelai pointed.
"Okay." Sookie headed for the kitchen, narrowly missing a tiny table of fine china. "Oops."
"Yeah. So, the kitchen is right through there, and it's state of the art if you ignore the old stuff in it."
"Okay." Sookie headed toward the kitchen. She turned back around and narrowly missed a vase. "I'm a bit of a klutz."
"Okay."
Sookie walked toward the kitchen and got three steps closer before she turned around and slightly missed knocking over a large potted plant.
"Okay, you know what, you should probably just go to the kitchen and stay there."
"Yeah, you're probably right." Sookie finally made it to the kitchen and Lorelai's headache felt like someone was stabbing her in the temple.
~~~~
"Lucy, I'm home!" Lorelai yelled as she entered the Gilmore girls' homestead. There was no answer. "Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do." Lorelai said as she walked around the empty living room and kitchen. She noticed Rory's closed bedroom door. "Ah, Ricky has figured out Lucy's escapades. For this week, anyway." With that, Lorelai pushed Rory's door open. Rory and Lane were dancing their problems away. Neither one of them noticed Lorelai, so she closed the door and left the room. She grabbed a pint of Ben and Jerry's and headed into the living room. She searched through the disarray of tapes next to the VCR, finally found one to her liking and popped it in the player. She plopped onto the couch, and as the opening scene of When Harry Met Sally came up, Lorelai started her running commentary.
"'And here in her natural habitat, is the sorta pathetic twenty-five-year-old single mother whose nine-year-old daughter has a more active social life than she does.' Ugh. This is a great Saturday night. Just me, Ben, Jerry, Harry, Sally, and a slutty Princess Leia. Whoopie."
~~~~~
"Ugh!" Lorelai threw her purse on the counter at Luke's later that night.
"Ah, Lorelai. Bad day?" Luke asked without looking up.
"Bad month,more like. This decade ends in seven years, right?"
"Yeah." Luke put down the cup he'd been washing. "Coffee?"
"See?"
"What?" Luke paused.
"You have to ask! My life sucks!" Lorelai put her head down on the counter.
"Okay, now I'm really worried. Where's Rory?"
"Oh, you mean my social butterfly daughter? Probably at home with her best friend. I don't even have a best friend! How lame am I?"
"Really lame, cause I haven't heard anyone say the word 'lame' in the past five years."
"Leave me alone. I'm a single mother of a nine-year-old. No wonder I'm out of it."
"Aww. You want some pie?"
Lorelai nodded. "With ice cream on top and a big cup of coffee on the side."
"Right."
"Chocolate ice cream."
"Chocolate ice cream?"
"Yeah."
"On apple pie?"
"Oh, it's apple pie? Not chocolate, no of course not."
"That's what I thought."
"Strawberry ice cream on the apple pie."
"Whatever. It's your taste buds." Luke headed to the kitchen to get the pie and ice cream. Lorelai sat in the empty diner, a little cheered up. She was getting ice cream, pie, and coffee. And maybe some friendly banter, after she was feeling better. Maybe she wasn't as lame as she thought.
~~~~~~
"I can't believe you've never seen When Harry Met Sally! It's, like, Billy Crystal's best work in a movie! That is, if you exclude the whole 'Miracle Max' scene in The Princess Bride."
"Wow, your knowledge of absolutely trivial movie facts stifles me."
"Lots of big, non-Luke words in that sentence."
"Yeah, I get smarter after ten o'clock."
"Oh, my god, is it after ten?" Lorelai grabbed Luke's wrist. They were sitting on Lorelai's porch. Luke had offered to walk her home over an hour ago. They still hadn't made it inside. "It is after ten, I really oughta get inside."
"Okay."
"Whaddya say you come over one night and we'll watch When Harry Met Sally. You know you want to! Princess Leia talking about how she sleeps around....Come on, it'll be fun."
"Well, I guess so."
"Great." Lorelai paused in the open doorway.
"This has been fun Lorelai. Wow, I really never thought I say that sentence."
"Really? Well, I never thought I'd hear Luke 'Mr.-Backwards-Baseball-Cap- Be-Careful-Your-Face-Really-Does-Freeze-Like-That' Danes utter the word 'Aww.' It made my day. Well, g'night!" Lorelai did a nice little kick move in the doorway before heading in and closing it in front of a surprised Luke. She smiled to herself as she hung up her coat and headed for Rory's room where Rory was scrambling for her bed from her nighttime vigil at the window.
"Ah, I see Lucy's been spying on Ricky again. Still afraid those nightclub dancers are going to steal me away?" Lorelai asked as she tucked Rory in.
"Not really. Goodnight, Mom."
"Who's telling me goodnight? It can be Rory, she's been asleep for hours! Goodnight, sweetie." Lorelai smiled and hugged Rory. She flicked off the light and headed out of the room.
"Mom?"
"Hmm?"
"Luke 'Mr.-Backwards- Baseball-Cap-Be-Careful-Your-Face-Really-Does-Freeze-Like-That' Danes? I'm nine, and even I know that was lame."
"Yeah, well, moms are lame, and I'm your mother, and even though I admit that I am exceedingly cooler and prettier than your friends' moms--"
"Oh, by far."
"Yes, but I am still your mother, and it is my job to be lame. Tonight was just the continuation of my promise nine years ago that I would do my job every damn day and try to go home happy."
"Glad it's working out for you."
"Me too." Lorelai tried to close the door, but Rory kept talking.
"Grandma and Grandpa invited me to Martha's Vineyard for the summer."
"Shhh, we'll talk about it in the morning."
"Okay. Love you, Mom." Rory said sleepily seconds before the door hit the doorjamb.
"Love you too, Rory, but if you say one more thing or ask for a drop of water, I'm going to throw a Gatorade bucket full of ice cold water on you."
"Go to sleep now. Got it."
"Goodnight, Rory."
"Night, Mommy."
Lorelai finally closed Rory's bedroom door with a big smile on her face.
Chapter 17: Seriousness With A Side Of Humor
Disclaimer: No, I'm not adored by thousands of loyal fans, seeing as how I don't own Gilmore Girls.
A/N: Actually, it's more of a question. What does it mean when it's "literati"? Cause I don't know. Anyone wanna help me out?
~~~~~~
"Ms. Gilmore, there is someone on the phone for you."
"Who?" Lorelai was stacking towels in the Independence Inn, because three of the maids were home sick and they were short-staffed.
"She claims she's your mom."
"My mother?"
"That's what she said."
"Okay, thanks, Frank. I'll get it in a minute."
Frank nodded and headed back to the desk. Lorelai finished putting away the last of the towels and headed for the phone. She sighed and picked it up.
"Hi, Mom."
"Lorelai, I was wondering if you and Rory might want to join us at Martha's Vineyard this summer."
"Well, I don't think I can, but I'm sure Rory will be thrilled to come." Lorelai sorted through the mail on the desk.
"Why can't you?"
"Why can't I what, Mom?"
"Why can't you visit your father and I with Rory?"
Lorelai sighed. "Because I'm the manager of the Independence Inn, and I have been for three years. I can't just drop everything and rush to Martha's Vineyard."
"Why not?"
"Why not?" Lorelai repeated incredulously. "Mom, I might get fired!"
"Oh. Well, do you think Rory will come?"
"I don't know, you'll have to ask her."
"Okay, I guess I will. Good-bye, Lorelai."
"Bye." Lorelai hung up the phone and started massaging the huge headache that Emily had given her.
"Um, I'm looking for either a Lorelai or a Mia."
Lorelai looked up into the kind eyes of a round young woman. "Oh, I'm Lorelai."
"Hi, Lorelai, I'm Sookie St. James, here for the chef's job."
"Okay, Sookie, if you'll follow me, just lead you to the kitchen."
"Okay, now, I think I've already got the job. I mean, Mia told me I did, but just to make I brought a plate of my magic risotto."
"Okay, well if Mia told you you have the job, you have the job."
"Are you sure you don't want to taste the risotto?"
"Yeah, actually, I'm pretty busy, so..." Lorelai started walking through the Inn. Sookie followed her.
"Oh, but you have to try it. Just in case you have any doubts."
"Mia is the higher order I answer to, so if she says you're hired, you're hired."
"Try it anyway."
Lorelai sighed and turned around, right into a forkful of the magic risotto. "Oh my god! That's amazing!"
"That's why it's my magic risotto! So I've got the job?"
"Well, if you didn't have it already, yeah!"
"Great! Okay, so where's the kitchen? I wanna look around."
"Oh, it's that way." Lorelai pointed.
"Okay." Sookie headed for the kitchen, narrowly missing a tiny table of fine china. "Oops."
"Yeah. So, the kitchen is right through there, and it's state of the art if you ignore the old stuff in it."
"Okay." Sookie headed toward the kitchen. She turned back around and narrowly missed a vase. "I'm a bit of a klutz."
"Okay."
Sookie walked toward the kitchen and got three steps closer before she turned around and slightly missed knocking over a large potted plant.
"Okay, you know what, you should probably just go to the kitchen and stay there."
"Yeah, you're probably right." Sookie finally made it to the kitchen and Lorelai's headache felt like someone was stabbing her in the temple.
~~~~
"Lucy, I'm home!" Lorelai yelled as she entered the Gilmore girls' homestead. There was no answer. "Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do." Lorelai said as she walked around the empty living room and kitchen. She noticed Rory's closed bedroom door. "Ah, Ricky has figured out Lucy's escapades. For this week, anyway." With that, Lorelai pushed Rory's door open. Rory and Lane were dancing their problems away. Neither one of them noticed Lorelai, so she closed the door and left the room. She grabbed a pint of Ben and Jerry's and headed into the living room. She searched through the disarray of tapes next to the VCR, finally found one to her liking and popped it in the player. She plopped onto the couch, and as the opening scene of When Harry Met Sally came up, Lorelai started her running commentary.
"'And here in her natural habitat, is the sorta pathetic twenty-five-year-old single mother whose nine-year-old daughter has a more active social life than she does.' Ugh. This is a great Saturday night. Just me, Ben, Jerry, Harry, Sally, and a slutty Princess Leia. Whoopie."
~~~~~
"Ugh!" Lorelai threw her purse on the counter at Luke's later that night.
"Ah, Lorelai. Bad day?" Luke asked without looking up.
"Bad month,more like. This decade ends in seven years, right?"
"Yeah." Luke put down the cup he'd been washing. "Coffee?"
"See?"
"What?" Luke paused.
"You have to ask! My life sucks!" Lorelai put her head down on the counter.
"Okay, now I'm really worried. Where's Rory?"
"Oh, you mean my social butterfly daughter? Probably at home with her best friend. I don't even have a best friend! How lame am I?"
"Really lame, cause I haven't heard anyone say the word 'lame' in the past five years."
"Leave me alone. I'm a single mother of a nine-year-old. No wonder I'm out of it."
"Aww. You want some pie?"
Lorelai nodded. "With ice cream on top and a big cup of coffee on the side."
"Right."
"Chocolate ice cream."
"Chocolate ice cream?"
"Yeah."
"On apple pie?"
"Oh, it's apple pie? Not chocolate, no of course not."
"That's what I thought."
"Strawberry ice cream on the apple pie."
"Whatever. It's your taste buds." Luke headed to the kitchen to get the pie and ice cream. Lorelai sat in the empty diner, a little cheered up. She was getting ice cream, pie, and coffee. And maybe some friendly banter, after she was feeling better. Maybe she wasn't as lame as she thought.
~~~~~~
"I can't believe you've never seen When Harry Met Sally! It's, like, Billy Crystal's best work in a movie! That is, if you exclude the whole 'Miracle Max' scene in The Princess Bride."
"Wow, your knowledge of absolutely trivial movie facts stifles me."
"Lots of big, non-Luke words in that sentence."
"Yeah, I get smarter after ten o'clock."
"Oh, my god, is it after ten?" Lorelai grabbed Luke's wrist. They were sitting on Lorelai's porch. Luke had offered to walk her home over an hour ago. They still hadn't made it inside. "It is after ten, I really oughta get inside."
"Okay."
"Whaddya say you come over one night and we'll watch When Harry Met Sally. You know you want to! Princess Leia talking about how she sleeps around....Come on, it'll be fun."
"Well, I guess so."
"Great." Lorelai paused in the open doorway.
"This has been fun Lorelai. Wow, I really never thought I say that sentence."
"Really? Well, I never thought I'd hear Luke 'Mr.-Backwards-Baseball-Cap- Be-Careful-Your-Face-Really-Does-Freeze-Like-That' Danes utter the word 'Aww.' It made my day. Well, g'night!" Lorelai did a nice little kick move in the doorway before heading in and closing it in front of a surprised Luke. She smiled to herself as she hung up her coat and headed for Rory's room where Rory was scrambling for her bed from her nighttime vigil at the window.
"Ah, I see Lucy's been spying on Ricky again. Still afraid those nightclub dancers are going to steal me away?" Lorelai asked as she tucked Rory in.
"Not really. Goodnight, Mom."
"Who's telling me goodnight? It can be Rory, she's been asleep for hours! Goodnight, sweetie." Lorelai smiled and hugged Rory. She flicked off the light and headed out of the room.
"Mom?"
"Hmm?"
"Luke 'Mr.-Backwards- Baseball-Cap-Be-Careful-Your-Face-Really-Does-Freeze-Like-That' Danes? I'm nine, and even I know that was lame."
"Yeah, well, moms are lame, and I'm your mother, and even though I admit that I am exceedingly cooler and prettier than your friends' moms--"
"Oh, by far."
"Yes, but I am still your mother, and it is my job to be lame. Tonight was just the continuation of my promise nine years ago that I would do my job every damn day and try to go home happy."
"Glad it's working out for you."
"Me too." Lorelai tried to close the door, but Rory kept talking.
"Grandma and Grandpa invited me to Martha's Vineyard for the summer."
"Shhh, we'll talk about it in the morning."
"Okay. Love you, Mom." Rory said sleepily seconds before the door hit the doorjamb.
"Love you too, Rory, but if you say one more thing or ask for a drop of water, I'm going to throw a Gatorade bucket full of ice cold water on you."
"Go to sleep now. Got it."
"Goodnight, Rory."
"Night, Mommy."
Lorelai finally closed Rory's bedroom door with a big smile on her face.