Chapter Two: Escape
The morning after the truck incident, I got up to toast the last four pieces of bread for breakfast. I wondered what we would eat for breakfast the next day. The cupboards were bare but for a can of brown beans and one box of expired Kraft Dinner that we would be forced to eat for supper if Pop didn't come home and gobble it up before we got the chance. Erin and Tyler stumbled to the table with sleep in their eyes. They seemed so much older than six and nine that morning, after the scene the night before. "Isn't there any jam?" Erin asked, wrinkling her small nose at the lone piece of bread with butter on her plastic plate. "No," I said. They ate quietly. I could tell it was going to be another hot and humid day. I didn't know how long we would survive in this rusty old trailer with no air conditioning or even fans. "Morning," Anthony said as he took Erin's seat when she was finished. She trudged to the bathroom to splash water on her face. Our shower was no longer working, so she would have to go to the public showers for the trailer park to have a shower. "Wait for me Erin," I told her. I stuffed the piece of crust bread I had taken, for I knew no one else would eat it and went to grab my clothes for the day. A purple tank top and cut-off jean shorts. I had badgered Pop in June until he gave up a small amount of his drinking money for me to buy clothes for the others and myself. I had only gotten three tank tops that had cost two dollars each at the thrift shop. Erin got the same, and we would share. I was small for my age at only five feet two and 110 pounds. Erin was taller than me and she was seven years younger than me. I was very insecure about my size and my siblings knew that. They were all bigger than me and I knew Tyler would soon grow above me too. The public showers were rarely cleaned and the slime on the floors reflected this. The showers had curtains that had holes in them and the showerheads were rusty. But it was the best we had. I entered a stall beside Erin and turned on the water. I had to let it run for a while before the brown water ran out and I could have a little warm water. I stood under the spray of water for a long time, savoring the only time I had to myself. Erin left her stall before I had even finished washing my hair. I was in the public washroom all alone. Or at least I thought I was. Suddenly the curtain was yanked open and there stood Frankie Bellows. I screamed and reached for my towel. He laughed showing off his black teeth. "Get out of here, you pervert!!" I shrieked. He grinned and stepped into the stall closing the curtain behind him. "I just want to see you for a minute," he said. "GO AWAY!!!" I yelled. He reached out to grab my towel but I slapped him as hard as I could. His face changed from amusement to anger, "You bitch," he said, "Erin told me you were waiting for me, I guess you are just a tease," he left me in the shower confused and angry. Why would Erin tell him that? I finished my shower quickly and hurried back to the trailer. It was only 10:00am but already the trailer was an oven. When I got in Erin wasn't there. "Where's Erin?" I demanded of Anthony. "She went to Jessica Moore's trailer," he told me. Him and Tyler were playing go fish on the kitchen table. They were both sweating. I was fuming. I stormed out the door and went around the corner to the Moore's trailer. They had the most expensive trailer in the park, which still wasn't saying much. They were still dirt poor. I banged on the door and Mrs. Moore opened the door. "Skye, what's wrong?" she asked. "I'm looking for Erin, is she here?" I asked. "Yes," she called to Erin and then Erin came outside. "Why did you tell Frankie Bellows I was waiting for him?" I demanded angrily. She stared at me innocently, "You told me you thought the showers should be cleaned and you were going to talk to the Bellows," she said. The Bellows' were the managers of the trailer park. I stared at her, I couldn't tell if she was telling the truth or not, but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, I didn't think she would tell Frankie I wanted him to come in my shower stall with me, she wasn't that cruel. "Why what happened?" she asked innocently. "Nothing, never mind," I mumbled and left her alone. I could already feel my fair skin burning as I walked back to our trailer. I had always been prone to sunburns. I went into the trailer reluctantly. It was even hotter in there than it was outside. But at least I wouldn't get a burn. I couldn't help wondering as I watched my brothers play cards when Pop would be home. I assumed he had gone back to the bar last night, or maybe to a hotel room with some whore he found on the street. He stayed away for weeks at a time sometimes, while Anthony and I were left to care for Tyler and Erin. I knew I had to get a job but I just didn't have time. School was one of my biggest priorities away from home. I was determined to get a music scholarship for the violin and get out of this town. I vowed never to end up like Mama, in a small trailer with too many kids and thinking my only option was to abandon them. I played the violin at school in the orchestra. I wanted to take private lessons but we didn't have enough money for food each week, let alone music lessons. For the day I lay on my bed and thought about our situation. I needed a plan in case Pop didn't come back for a while. We didn't have enough food by far. Tyler fell asleep after his lunch of cold brown beans and Anthony and I were left to sit at the kitchen table and worry. "What are we going to do for food tomorrow?" I asked him. He glanced at Pop's room and said, "He might have hidden some money in there, we have to look," "But.but what if he came home while we were in there, I don't even want to know what would happen," I said worriedly. I didn't know if we should take that risk. "We have no choice Skye," he said. "I'm home!" Erin burst into the trailer with a new yellow T-shirt on, looking happy. "Where'd you get that shirt?" I asked. "Jessica gave it to me," she said. I stared at her suspiciously, I didn't think Jessica's mother would let her give away perfectly good clothes when they struggled almost as much as we did to buy them. We told her our plan to search Pop's room. I gave in after I looked in the fridge and cupboards again. I noticed Tyler was starting to look a little thinner. He wasn't a picky eater, which was good. But he needed milk and vegetables to get the right nutrients. Erin would sit on the front steps while me and Anthony would search. We crept carefully into his room even though there was no need to be quiet. The room smelled of vodka and it was dirtier than any other part of the trailer. Clothes were strewn all over the floor and the old worn out carpet had holes and stains on it. I covered my mouth and nose, not wanting to breathe in the fumes that seemed to be floating off the dirty dishes and clothes in the room. "Gross," I muttered. "Look in the dresser and closet," Anthony said. I went to the old dresser and yanked open the top drawer. It was empty but for two magazines that would not be appropriate for a child to see. But he left them practically out in the open for Tyler to find. The rest of the drawers were full of old shirts and shorts stuffed inside. I dug through them looking for a wallet, a jar, anything that could contain money. In the bottom drawer there was a hollow sound coming from the back. I knocked on it and the piece of wood fell away. I reached in and felt a box; I pulled it out, hope filling my heart. It was a large, brown, wooden box with intricate carvings on the lid and sides. There was a small brass lock in the front that required a key. "Anthony," I called. "Did you find something?" he asked coming over. I showed him the box. I turned it upside down and carved into the bottom were the words,
To my love, Hannah
May you always be happy, with or without me,
Zack
"This is Mama's box," I said. "Pop's name is not Zack," Anthony said, stating the obvious. I wondered why Mama would leave without this box. Suddenly Erin burst into the room, "Pop's home," Quickly Anthony shut the drawers. I put the box behind my back, I was not going to put it back when I wasn't sure when I could get it again. I had a feeling Pop didn't know about it, so he wouldn't miss it. We had just slipped out of his room when Pop came into the house looking happier. He smiled at me. I narrowed my eyes at him. What was going on? He never smiled at any of us. "Pop, where did you go?" Erin asked. "I have a surprise for you," Pop said. Somehow I knew this was not going to be good. Tyler had crept out of bed and he was standing behind me clutching my shirt. "What is it?" Erin asked excitedly. "Lola, c'mon in," Pop said, holding open the door. A woman with dull blond hair that looked like it had been dyed a few times too many sauntered in. She had blue eye shadow caked on her eyelids and her lipstick was bright pink. She had long pink fingernails that couldn't have looked gaudier. She was wearing a very short and very tight blue skirt and a low cut pink tank top. She looked like a prostitute! My mouth dropped open as I stared at her. Erin's smile faded from happiness to disgust when she laid eyes on Lola. "We got married!" Pop announced. The silence was deafening. No one spoke; everyone was in shock. Anger bubbled up inside of me, he had stormed out last night only to go and marry some slut he had obviously found on the street. The trailer was already too small, we didn't need this woman and all her makeup in here too! "You married a whore!" I yelled. I was furious. "Skye Emerson!" Pop scolded. "Don't you scold me, father. You haven't been a father to me in the last fifteen years, you drove Mama away and then you totally ignore your children!" I screamed at him. Lola was slowly inching towards the door, "Don't you go anywhere, bitch," I growled at her. She stopped dead in her tracks. Anthony touched my arm, "Skye." "No, I need to say this," I told him, "Do you even know Tyler's favourite food?" I demanded. He was silent, but I could see the anger boiling under his eyes. "It's spaghetti, and when was the last time we had that?" I continued, "You have ruined our lives, Fred Emerson, I refuse to call you Pop anymore, because this is the last straw, you are no longer my father, you aren't fit to be anyone's father, go have fun with your new slut wife," At that I pushed past him and out into the evening. It was cooling down outside. I felt tears stream down my face but I wiped them away quickly, and convinced myself they were tears of anger and frustration, not tears of love and sadness. I went straight to the old willow tree that stood right outside the boundaries of the trailer park. I always went here when I wanted to be alone. I sat down and that's when I realized I still had Mama's box. I examined the bottom. Who was this Zack person? I fingered the small lock and wondered if it would be easy to break open. I didn't hesitate, I smashed it against the trunk of the tree and it broke off easily. I put the box in my lap and opened it up. As the old hinges squeaked, I couldn't help thinking they were trying to warn me, trying to tell me not to open the box, just let sleeping dogs lie, they were saying. But I couldn't, I had to know what my mother felt she had to hide from us but hadn't cared enough to take when she left. Inside was an old picture of a man and a woman about twenty years old. The woman I realized was Mama! She looked just like I did right now. Her hair was a different colour but her facial features matched mine exactly. She even had that half smile I so often used. The man was not Pop. This man's eyes were a startling blue colour and his hair was black.just like mine. On the back of the picture it said that these people were Hannah Peters and Zack Jamieson. Zack! This was the person who had given her the beautiful box. He was very handsome. I put the picture on the ground beside me and reached into the box again. I pulled out a folded up letter. I unfolded it quickly, the front of the envelope said my name. I was getting more and more curious my the second. I took the letter out of its envelope and began to read:
Dearest Skye, By now I am far, far away from you. And even though you might think me heartless and cruel I just couldn't let you live a lie. I felt it was my duty to tell you the truth of your birth. I am your mother and I love you very much. But there is a secret that had clouded my days with you. In this box that you have found there is a picture of your father and me. That's right, Zack Jamieson is your father. I became pregnant with you before I married Fred. Zack left before I could tell him and I couldn't reach him. Fred, who was Zack's best friend thought it would be the right thing to do to marry me and give us a good home. Later on, as you know Anthony, Erin and Tyler were born; they are all Fred's children. I had planned on contacting Zack as soon as I could to tell him he had a daughter but he couldn't be reached. I soon gave up trying to find him and let you live a happy life with the brother you loved so dearly. You must be devastated to find out that Anthony is not your full brother but that is only a title, you will be what you want to be. I know you must be extremely confused right now but I have left your real birth certificate in the box. Everything you need to prove your birth. You see, I wanted your birth certificate to say who your real father was. So I had two made, one with Fred's name and one with Zack's name. I have also enclosed the address of your real father in case you ever have the urge to see him, as I know you will. Just know that I love you, Anthony, Erin and Tyler more than anything in the world and I am sorry about what I had to do. Love always, your mother, Hannah Peters
Mama had signed her maiden name on the letter. I was in shock. My father was Zack Jamieson? The whole thing sounded like a mass conspiracy to confuse a nation. But Mama and Pop had gone through life not even dropping a hint to the truth. Pop knew I wasn't his child but he chose to ignore it. Maybe that was why he decided I should cook and clean for him. He kept me around after Mama left to be his slave. And now, I was living with two people who I had no blood relation to. Lola was going to move in and I would be stuck with her. I emptied out the box and found a dolphin pendant on a silver chain. I assumed it had been my father's. I put it on right away. I wanted to feel close to him even though I had never known him. I was very confused about what Mama hoped to accomplish by leaving me this box. I hadn't even found it for a long time, for six years. I got up from the ground and trudged back to the trailer. I had to tell Anthony the truth. I knew he would be sad, but I felt like I no longer belonged here. I wanted to find my real father. Somehow I just couldn't bring myself to totally believe the crazy story Mama had told me through the letter. Anthony was outside sitting on the step when I got there. He had his head resting in his hands. "Anthony, what are you doing?" I asked sitting down beside him. "Lola and Pop are in the bedroom," he said. He didn't have to explain what they were doing. I knew. "Can you believe Pop married her?" he asked. "No," I replied. "But maybe she will force Pop to quit drinking and buy food," he suggested, not sounding very convincing. Somehow I couldn't bring myself to tell him about the letter and our birth. I wanted a secret, something to call my own. Maybe that was selfish, but I just didn't want to break up our family. I felt like if he knew I wasn't his full sister he wouldn't want to believe it. He would ignore the facts and pretend like it wasn't true. I knew he wouldn't want me to leave, he would say that I belonged her even if Pop wasn't my father. But I knew that wasn't true, Pop wouldn't want me here if he knew I knew the truth, I was sure of that. I decided then and there, watching how Anthony looked at me that I would leave the following night. I couldn't bring myself to leave that night, I needed to say goodbye to everything even if they didn't know I was saying goodbye. So we went to sleep that night, I hid the box in the crack between the wall and the bed and hid the necklace under my shirt. The next morning Lola came stumbling out of her room, makeup from the night before still on, but smudged. Pop came out after her. "Lola is going to get some groceries," he announced. Tyler's face lit up, that was all it took to get him to fall in love with this new woman, food. "Can you get spaghetti?" he asked eagerly. "Sure I can sweetie pie," she said. I glared at her. She had only just come into our lives the night before. Hidden behind all her makeup, she had followed Pop into our lives, and already she had won Tyler's affections. She left after an hour of applying new makeup. To my disbelief Tyler and Erin went with her. Pop sat at the kitchen table watching me as I did the dishes. I felt uncomfortable under his gaze. "I thought you weren't coming back, Princess," he said. "I have nowhere to go, I can't just up and go to Toronto," I said hinting that I knew about Zack Jamieson. He narrowed his eyes, but ignored my comment. I didn't want him to know I would be gone the next day so I had to act normal, not out of the ordinary. My anger had faded somewhat considering I had just found out this man wasn't my father; I wasn't obligated to care what happened to him. I watched my half brothers and sister all day, knowing that this would be the last time I would see them in who knows how long. I felt tears come to my eyes a number of times but I had to choke them back. Finally day turned to night and Pop and Lola went out to Ronny's Bar for a quick drink. I struggled to stay awake in bed until everyone else was sleeping. Finally I heard even breathing coming from all three bunks. I got up quietly and grabbed the small duffel bag I had packed earlier. It contained a few changes of clothes, which was all I had anyway, underwear, the box from Mama and a box of crackers. I didn't have anything of value I wished to take along with me other than the dolphin necklace. I scribbled a quick note saying goodbye to Anthony, Erin and Tyler and told them I would be back to see them before some day. It saddened me to think that I might never come back to this old trailer. It might have been the site of countless beatings and misgivings but it was still my home. I grabbed my old coat and was about to go out the door when I realized I wasn't going to have enough money to get to Toronto. I had twenty-five dollars but I was sure I would need at least fifty. I was getting discouraged when I had an idea. I snuck out the door and headed over to the Bellows' trailer. I remembered the day when Frankie Bellows had come into my shower stall and I shivered. This was not something I was looking forward to doing, but I had no choice. I could hear a TV inside the trailer. I knocked on the door quickly. Frankie opened the door and grinned at me. The strong smell of old food and beer floated out to greet me and I had to choke back a gag. "Well, well, well, look what we have here," Frankie said. "I need some money, "I said, He laughed, "Well you are going to have to give me something I can pay for," he said looking me up and down, his eyes resting on my breasts for a few extra seconds. "Okay," I said, "but would you mind paying me now, I'll do extra for you later," "What? Why?" he stared at me. "It's that time of the month and I really need money now," I lied. I had no intention of doing anything with him. I was going to take his money and get out of town before I would have to give him what he paid for. It made me sick just asking for money from him but I needed to get out of Monkton tonight. "Well," he hesitated. "Please?" I said biting my lower lip. "Oh.Okay," he went back into the trailer and brought out a wad of bills. I counted them quickly. One hundred dollars! He must have had this saved up for a hooker or a strip club when he went to London. He disgusted me. "You better be worth it, I'll come by your trailer in one week," he said smiling. I turned around and started to leave, "Sucker," I said under my breath. Suddenly there was a hand on my shoulder, "I heard that," Frankie growled. He dragged me back to his trailer. I thrashed around but he was too strong for me. When he got me into his room I was starting to panic. This was a disaster! I had to get away! I ran to the window and pounded on it and screamed. Frankie grabbed me by the hair and threw me onto his unmade bed. Before I could even react he was on top of me. He grabbed one of my wrists and yanked it to the headboard. He used a belt to tie my wrists together and tie them to the bed. I was crying now. This couldn't be happening! "This is what you get for trying to trick me," he said. He tied a smelly towel around my mouth and slapped me hard. I gasped. Frankie laughed heartlessly as he stood up to look down at me. "This is what I've always dreamed of," he said. I choked back my tears. I didn't want to cry in front of him. Then he did what I thought would never happen. He left the room. I was so surprised that I lay still for a minute. I heard Frankie laughing at some show on TV. I struggled to get my wrists free from the belt, and it loosened a little. Hope surged through my veins. It was going to be OK, I was going to get out of here. I kept working at the belt and finally in came free. I sat up in triumph and pulled the towel from my mouth I spotted the wad of one hundred dollars on the floor and almost laughed. I was still going to take his money. I went to the window and opened it as quietly as I could. Frankie was still laughing at some TV show. Soon it was open enough and I climbed out and took off running. Then I remembered my bag was still inside the trailer. The box from Mama and Zack Jamieson's address were in there! I needed that bag! I went back to the trailer and peeked through the window. The room was empty. Frankie was still watching TV. I screamed a bloodcurdling scream and ran to the front door of the trailer just in time to see Frankie bolt from his seat and go to the room. I ran as fast as I could into the trailer and grabbed my bag off the floor. I heard Frankie yell in anger as I jumped down the three steps to the trailer. I ran into the night clutching my money and my bag as tightly as I could.
The morning after the truck incident, I got up to toast the last four pieces of bread for breakfast. I wondered what we would eat for breakfast the next day. The cupboards were bare but for a can of brown beans and one box of expired Kraft Dinner that we would be forced to eat for supper if Pop didn't come home and gobble it up before we got the chance. Erin and Tyler stumbled to the table with sleep in their eyes. They seemed so much older than six and nine that morning, after the scene the night before. "Isn't there any jam?" Erin asked, wrinkling her small nose at the lone piece of bread with butter on her plastic plate. "No," I said. They ate quietly. I could tell it was going to be another hot and humid day. I didn't know how long we would survive in this rusty old trailer with no air conditioning or even fans. "Morning," Anthony said as he took Erin's seat when she was finished. She trudged to the bathroom to splash water on her face. Our shower was no longer working, so she would have to go to the public showers for the trailer park to have a shower. "Wait for me Erin," I told her. I stuffed the piece of crust bread I had taken, for I knew no one else would eat it and went to grab my clothes for the day. A purple tank top and cut-off jean shorts. I had badgered Pop in June until he gave up a small amount of his drinking money for me to buy clothes for the others and myself. I had only gotten three tank tops that had cost two dollars each at the thrift shop. Erin got the same, and we would share. I was small for my age at only five feet two and 110 pounds. Erin was taller than me and she was seven years younger than me. I was very insecure about my size and my siblings knew that. They were all bigger than me and I knew Tyler would soon grow above me too. The public showers were rarely cleaned and the slime on the floors reflected this. The showers had curtains that had holes in them and the showerheads were rusty. But it was the best we had. I entered a stall beside Erin and turned on the water. I had to let it run for a while before the brown water ran out and I could have a little warm water. I stood under the spray of water for a long time, savoring the only time I had to myself. Erin left her stall before I had even finished washing my hair. I was in the public washroom all alone. Or at least I thought I was. Suddenly the curtain was yanked open and there stood Frankie Bellows. I screamed and reached for my towel. He laughed showing off his black teeth. "Get out of here, you pervert!!" I shrieked. He grinned and stepped into the stall closing the curtain behind him. "I just want to see you for a minute," he said. "GO AWAY!!!" I yelled. He reached out to grab my towel but I slapped him as hard as I could. His face changed from amusement to anger, "You bitch," he said, "Erin told me you were waiting for me, I guess you are just a tease," he left me in the shower confused and angry. Why would Erin tell him that? I finished my shower quickly and hurried back to the trailer. It was only 10:00am but already the trailer was an oven. When I got in Erin wasn't there. "Where's Erin?" I demanded of Anthony. "She went to Jessica Moore's trailer," he told me. Him and Tyler were playing go fish on the kitchen table. They were both sweating. I was fuming. I stormed out the door and went around the corner to the Moore's trailer. They had the most expensive trailer in the park, which still wasn't saying much. They were still dirt poor. I banged on the door and Mrs. Moore opened the door. "Skye, what's wrong?" she asked. "I'm looking for Erin, is she here?" I asked. "Yes," she called to Erin and then Erin came outside. "Why did you tell Frankie Bellows I was waiting for him?" I demanded angrily. She stared at me innocently, "You told me you thought the showers should be cleaned and you were going to talk to the Bellows," she said. The Bellows' were the managers of the trailer park. I stared at her, I couldn't tell if she was telling the truth or not, but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, I didn't think she would tell Frankie I wanted him to come in my shower stall with me, she wasn't that cruel. "Why what happened?" she asked innocently. "Nothing, never mind," I mumbled and left her alone. I could already feel my fair skin burning as I walked back to our trailer. I had always been prone to sunburns. I went into the trailer reluctantly. It was even hotter in there than it was outside. But at least I wouldn't get a burn. I couldn't help wondering as I watched my brothers play cards when Pop would be home. I assumed he had gone back to the bar last night, or maybe to a hotel room with some whore he found on the street. He stayed away for weeks at a time sometimes, while Anthony and I were left to care for Tyler and Erin. I knew I had to get a job but I just didn't have time. School was one of my biggest priorities away from home. I was determined to get a music scholarship for the violin and get out of this town. I vowed never to end up like Mama, in a small trailer with too many kids and thinking my only option was to abandon them. I played the violin at school in the orchestra. I wanted to take private lessons but we didn't have enough money for food each week, let alone music lessons. For the day I lay on my bed and thought about our situation. I needed a plan in case Pop didn't come back for a while. We didn't have enough food by far. Tyler fell asleep after his lunch of cold brown beans and Anthony and I were left to sit at the kitchen table and worry. "What are we going to do for food tomorrow?" I asked him. He glanced at Pop's room and said, "He might have hidden some money in there, we have to look," "But.but what if he came home while we were in there, I don't even want to know what would happen," I said worriedly. I didn't know if we should take that risk. "We have no choice Skye," he said. "I'm home!" Erin burst into the trailer with a new yellow T-shirt on, looking happy. "Where'd you get that shirt?" I asked. "Jessica gave it to me," she said. I stared at her suspiciously, I didn't think Jessica's mother would let her give away perfectly good clothes when they struggled almost as much as we did to buy them. We told her our plan to search Pop's room. I gave in after I looked in the fridge and cupboards again. I noticed Tyler was starting to look a little thinner. He wasn't a picky eater, which was good. But he needed milk and vegetables to get the right nutrients. Erin would sit on the front steps while me and Anthony would search. We crept carefully into his room even though there was no need to be quiet. The room smelled of vodka and it was dirtier than any other part of the trailer. Clothes were strewn all over the floor and the old worn out carpet had holes and stains on it. I covered my mouth and nose, not wanting to breathe in the fumes that seemed to be floating off the dirty dishes and clothes in the room. "Gross," I muttered. "Look in the dresser and closet," Anthony said. I went to the old dresser and yanked open the top drawer. It was empty but for two magazines that would not be appropriate for a child to see. But he left them practically out in the open for Tyler to find. The rest of the drawers were full of old shirts and shorts stuffed inside. I dug through them looking for a wallet, a jar, anything that could contain money. In the bottom drawer there was a hollow sound coming from the back. I knocked on it and the piece of wood fell away. I reached in and felt a box; I pulled it out, hope filling my heart. It was a large, brown, wooden box with intricate carvings on the lid and sides. There was a small brass lock in the front that required a key. "Anthony," I called. "Did you find something?" he asked coming over. I showed him the box. I turned it upside down and carved into the bottom were the words,
To my love, Hannah
May you always be happy, with or without me,
Zack
"This is Mama's box," I said. "Pop's name is not Zack," Anthony said, stating the obvious. I wondered why Mama would leave without this box. Suddenly Erin burst into the room, "Pop's home," Quickly Anthony shut the drawers. I put the box behind my back, I was not going to put it back when I wasn't sure when I could get it again. I had a feeling Pop didn't know about it, so he wouldn't miss it. We had just slipped out of his room when Pop came into the house looking happier. He smiled at me. I narrowed my eyes at him. What was going on? He never smiled at any of us. "Pop, where did you go?" Erin asked. "I have a surprise for you," Pop said. Somehow I knew this was not going to be good. Tyler had crept out of bed and he was standing behind me clutching my shirt. "What is it?" Erin asked excitedly. "Lola, c'mon in," Pop said, holding open the door. A woman with dull blond hair that looked like it had been dyed a few times too many sauntered in. She had blue eye shadow caked on her eyelids and her lipstick was bright pink. She had long pink fingernails that couldn't have looked gaudier. She was wearing a very short and very tight blue skirt and a low cut pink tank top. She looked like a prostitute! My mouth dropped open as I stared at her. Erin's smile faded from happiness to disgust when she laid eyes on Lola. "We got married!" Pop announced. The silence was deafening. No one spoke; everyone was in shock. Anger bubbled up inside of me, he had stormed out last night only to go and marry some slut he had obviously found on the street. The trailer was already too small, we didn't need this woman and all her makeup in here too! "You married a whore!" I yelled. I was furious. "Skye Emerson!" Pop scolded. "Don't you scold me, father. You haven't been a father to me in the last fifteen years, you drove Mama away and then you totally ignore your children!" I screamed at him. Lola was slowly inching towards the door, "Don't you go anywhere, bitch," I growled at her. She stopped dead in her tracks. Anthony touched my arm, "Skye." "No, I need to say this," I told him, "Do you even know Tyler's favourite food?" I demanded. He was silent, but I could see the anger boiling under his eyes. "It's spaghetti, and when was the last time we had that?" I continued, "You have ruined our lives, Fred Emerson, I refuse to call you Pop anymore, because this is the last straw, you are no longer my father, you aren't fit to be anyone's father, go have fun with your new slut wife," At that I pushed past him and out into the evening. It was cooling down outside. I felt tears stream down my face but I wiped them away quickly, and convinced myself they were tears of anger and frustration, not tears of love and sadness. I went straight to the old willow tree that stood right outside the boundaries of the trailer park. I always went here when I wanted to be alone. I sat down and that's when I realized I still had Mama's box. I examined the bottom. Who was this Zack person? I fingered the small lock and wondered if it would be easy to break open. I didn't hesitate, I smashed it against the trunk of the tree and it broke off easily. I put the box in my lap and opened it up. As the old hinges squeaked, I couldn't help thinking they were trying to warn me, trying to tell me not to open the box, just let sleeping dogs lie, they were saying. But I couldn't, I had to know what my mother felt she had to hide from us but hadn't cared enough to take when she left. Inside was an old picture of a man and a woman about twenty years old. The woman I realized was Mama! She looked just like I did right now. Her hair was a different colour but her facial features matched mine exactly. She even had that half smile I so often used. The man was not Pop. This man's eyes were a startling blue colour and his hair was black.just like mine. On the back of the picture it said that these people were Hannah Peters and Zack Jamieson. Zack! This was the person who had given her the beautiful box. He was very handsome. I put the picture on the ground beside me and reached into the box again. I pulled out a folded up letter. I unfolded it quickly, the front of the envelope said my name. I was getting more and more curious my the second. I took the letter out of its envelope and began to read:
Dearest Skye, By now I am far, far away from you. And even though you might think me heartless and cruel I just couldn't let you live a lie. I felt it was my duty to tell you the truth of your birth. I am your mother and I love you very much. But there is a secret that had clouded my days with you. In this box that you have found there is a picture of your father and me. That's right, Zack Jamieson is your father. I became pregnant with you before I married Fred. Zack left before I could tell him and I couldn't reach him. Fred, who was Zack's best friend thought it would be the right thing to do to marry me and give us a good home. Later on, as you know Anthony, Erin and Tyler were born; they are all Fred's children. I had planned on contacting Zack as soon as I could to tell him he had a daughter but he couldn't be reached. I soon gave up trying to find him and let you live a happy life with the brother you loved so dearly. You must be devastated to find out that Anthony is not your full brother but that is only a title, you will be what you want to be. I know you must be extremely confused right now but I have left your real birth certificate in the box. Everything you need to prove your birth. You see, I wanted your birth certificate to say who your real father was. So I had two made, one with Fred's name and one with Zack's name. I have also enclosed the address of your real father in case you ever have the urge to see him, as I know you will. Just know that I love you, Anthony, Erin and Tyler more than anything in the world and I am sorry about what I had to do. Love always, your mother, Hannah Peters
Mama had signed her maiden name on the letter. I was in shock. My father was Zack Jamieson? The whole thing sounded like a mass conspiracy to confuse a nation. But Mama and Pop had gone through life not even dropping a hint to the truth. Pop knew I wasn't his child but he chose to ignore it. Maybe that was why he decided I should cook and clean for him. He kept me around after Mama left to be his slave. And now, I was living with two people who I had no blood relation to. Lola was going to move in and I would be stuck with her. I emptied out the box and found a dolphin pendant on a silver chain. I assumed it had been my father's. I put it on right away. I wanted to feel close to him even though I had never known him. I was very confused about what Mama hoped to accomplish by leaving me this box. I hadn't even found it for a long time, for six years. I got up from the ground and trudged back to the trailer. I had to tell Anthony the truth. I knew he would be sad, but I felt like I no longer belonged here. I wanted to find my real father. Somehow I just couldn't bring myself to totally believe the crazy story Mama had told me through the letter. Anthony was outside sitting on the step when I got there. He had his head resting in his hands. "Anthony, what are you doing?" I asked sitting down beside him. "Lola and Pop are in the bedroom," he said. He didn't have to explain what they were doing. I knew. "Can you believe Pop married her?" he asked. "No," I replied. "But maybe she will force Pop to quit drinking and buy food," he suggested, not sounding very convincing. Somehow I couldn't bring myself to tell him about the letter and our birth. I wanted a secret, something to call my own. Maybe that was selfish, but I just didn't want to break up our family. I felt like if he knew I wasn't his full sister he wouldn't want to believe it. He would ignore the facts and pretend like it wasn't true. I knew he wouldn't want me to leave, he would say that I belonged her even if Pop wasn't my father. But I knew that wasn't true, Pop wouldn't want me here if he knew I knew the truth, I was sure of that. I decided then and there, watching how Anthony looked at me that I would leave the following night. I couldn't bring myself to leave that night, I needed to say goodbye to everything even if they didn't know I was saying goodbye. So we went to sleep that night, I hid the box in the crack between the wall and the bed and hid the necklace under my shirt. The next morning Lola came stumbling out of her room, makeup from the night before still on, but smudged. Pop came out after her. "Lola is going to get some groceries," he announced. Tyler's face lit up, that was all it took to get him to fall in love with this new woman, food. "Can you get spaghetti?" he asked eagerly. "Sure I can sweetie pie," she said. I glared at her. She had only just come into our lives the night before. Hidden behind all her makeup, she had followed Pop into our lives, and already she had won Tyler's affections. She left after an hour of applying new makeup. To my disbelief Tyler and Erin went with her. Pop sat at the kitchen table watching me as I did the dishes. I felt uncomfortable under his gaze. "I thought you weren't coming back, Princess," he said. "I have nowhere to go, I can't just up and go to Toronto," I said hinting that I knew about Zack Jamieson. He narrowed his eyes, but ignored my comment. I didn't want him to know I would be gone the next day so I had to act normal, not out of the ordinary. My anger had faded somewhat considering I had just found out this man wasn't my father; I wasn't obligated to care what happened to him. I watched my half brothers and sister all day, knowing that this would be the last time I would see them in who knows how long. I felt tears come to my eyes a number of times but I had to choke them back. Finally day turned to night and Pop and Lola went out to Ronny's Bar for a quick drink. I struggled to stay awake in bed until everyone else was sleeping. Finally I heard even breathing coming from all three bunks. I got up quietly and grabbed the small duffel bag I had packed earlier. It contained a few changes of clothes, which was all I had anyway, underwear, the box from Mama and a box of crackers. I didn't have anything of value I wished to take along with me other than the dolphin necklace. I scribbled a quick note saying goodbye to Anthony, Erin and Tyler and told them I would be back to see them before some day. It saddened me to think that I might never come back to this old trailer. It might have been the site of countless beatings and misgivings but it was still my home. I grabbed my old coat and was about to go out the door when I realized I wasn't going to have enough money to get to Toronto. I had twenty-five dollars but I was sure I would need at least fifty. I was getting discouraged when I had an idea. I snuck out the door and headed over to the Bellows' trailer. I remembered the day when Frankie Bellows had come into my shower stall and I shivered. This was not something I was looking forward to doing, but I had no choice. I could hear a TV inside the trailer. I knocked on the door quickly. Frankie opened the door and grinned at me. The strong smell of old food and beer floated out to greet me and I had to choke back a gag. "Well, well, well, look what we have here," Frankie said. "I need some money, "I said, He laughed, "Well you are going to have to give me something I can pay for," he said looking me up and down, his eyes resting on my breasts for a few extra seconds. "Okay," I said, "but would you mind paying me now, I'll do extra for you later," "What? Why?" he stared at me. "It's that time of the month and I really need money now," I lied. I had no intention of doing anything with him. I was going to take his money and get out of town before I would have to give him what he paid for. It made me sick just asking for money from him but I needed to get out of Monkton tonight. "Well," he hesitated. "Please?" I said biting my lower lip. "Oh.Okay," he went back into the trailer and brought out a wad of bills. I counted them quickly. One hundred dollars! He must have had this saved up for a hooker or a strip club when he went to London. He disgusted me. "You better be worth it, I'll come by your trailer in one week," he said smiling. I turned around and started to leave, "Sucker," I said under my breath. Suddenly there was a hand on my shoulder, "I heard that," Frankie growled. He dragged me back to his trailer. I thrashed around but he was too strong for me. When he got me into his room I was starting to panic. This was a disaster! I had to get away! I ran to the window and pounded on it and screamed. Frankie grabbed me by the hair and threw me onto his unmade bed. Before I could even react he was on top of me. He grabbed one of my wrists and yanked it to the headboard. He used a belt to tie my wrists together and tie them to the bed. I was crying now. This couldn't be happening! "This is what you get for trying to trick me," he said. He tied a smelly towel around my mouth and slapped me hard. I gasped. Frankie laughed heartlessly as he stood up to look down at me. "This is what I've always dreamed of," he said. I choked back my tears. I didn't want to cry in front of him. Then he did what I thought would never happen. He left the room. I was so surprised that I lay still for a minute. I heard Frankie laughing at some show on TV. I struggled to get my wrists free from the belt, and it loosened a little. Hope surged through my veins. It was going to be OK, I was going to get out of here. I kept working at the belt and finally in came free. I sat up in triumph and pulled the towel from my mouth I spotted the wad of one hundred dollars on the floor and almost laughed. I was still going to take his money. I went to the window and opened it as quietly as I could. Frankie was still laughing at some TV show. Soon it was open enough and I climbed out and took off running. Then I remembered my bag was still inside the trailer. The box from Mama and Zack Jamieson's address were in there! I needed that bag! I went back to the trailer and peeked through the window. The room was empty. Frankie was still watching TV. I screamed a bloodcurdling scream and ran to the front door of the trailer just in time to see Frankie bolt from his seat and go to the room. I ran as fast as I could into the trailer and grabbed my bag off the floor. I heard Frankie yell in anger as I jumped down the three steps to the trailer. I ran into the night clutching my money and my bag as tightly as I could.