Chapter Three: Time Flies When You're Having Fun

Seconds passed into minutes…minutes into hours…hours into forever. The prisoners of KaibaCorp's most impressive elevator suffered silently as the machine they were trapped inside hung suspended over twenty-two floors.

These weary hostages had suffered their share of hardships during the past— was it only three? it seemed like more— hours while trapped in the unmoving elevator. Young Yugi Moto's hair had been mashed so that the top spike was at the back of his head. Yami, the spirit of the Millennium Puzzle, had a swollen lip from his earlier scuffle with Bakura, the spirit of the Millennium Ring, who had a large, painful bruise on top of his head from the elevator telephone receiver, thrown at him by Seto Kaiba, CEO and owner of KaibaCorp, who hunched uncomfortably in the corner opposite Bakura. Mai Valentine, talented duelist and fashion-conscious shopper, had nearly run out of nails to file. Tea Gardner, former friend of Yugi (until she had ruined his hair by shoving him into the wall of the elevator), sat with her face buried in her knees. Joey Wheeler, runner-up in the tournament at Duelist Kingdom, sat irritably, running his still-stinging face from the slap given to him by Mai. Tristan was still face down on the floor, perhaps unconscious from Joey landing on him earlier. Ryou seemed to be the only relatively contented one, as he sat amiably, gazing around the elevator.

Not a sound was heard from anyone in the elevator except for the rhythm of everyone breathing. The detainees knew that this wouldn't last long. Every time they had lapsed into a pleasant silence, it had been broken by a new fight that would in turn cause pain and suffering. This time, however, it was not a voice that broke the white noise of the elevator, but a whooshing sound. Heads lifted as the occupants tried to discern what was making the noise.

"It's the air conditioner," stated Yami, and everyone silently answered, "ohh." The elevator had been a little too warm for everyone's taste, so the breath of fresh, cool air filling the small space was a welcome relief. For several minutes the cold air blasted down and revitalized the formerly hot, stuffy occupants. Everyone could breathe a lot better now, so the air was a welcome change.

After about ten minutes with the cold air on full blast, it began to get a little too chilly. Tea pulled on her jacket, and Yugi and Yami closed and buttoned their jackets. Tristan groaned from the floor, and everyone else pulled his or her jacket tighter. The air continued to blast through a vent on the ceiling. "Somebody turn that off!" demanded Joey, shivering, as he was the one sitting directly below the vent. "This is your elevator, Kaiba!"

"Shut up, you mutt," growled Kaiba, pulling his trench coat tighter around him.

"Please turn it off," begged Tea. "Don't make all of us freeze because of Joey." Several agreements were voiced and Kaiba looked down and said nothing.

Everyone continued to freeze for several minutes, and tried to huddle next to their neighbor for warmth. Tristan lifted his face up from the ground and rubbed it before trying to huddle next to Tea, who elbowed him in the stomach. Tristan "umphed" and bit the dust again.

"Kaiba. Turn. Off. The. Air," instructed Yami, who was huddled next to Yugi for warmth in the elevator as the temperature dropped rapidly.

Still no response from Kaiba as the elevator grew colder.

Mai's teeth started chattering as the tried to cover herself up with her jacket. She glared at Kaiba as she shivered, and finally growled, "I am FREEZING. Turn off the air, or I'll jab YOUR eyes out!" She held up her nail file threateningly and Joey backed away.

"Idonknowhow," mumbled Kaiba, trying to pull his coat over his head. This got everyone's attention, and everyone glanced up to stare at him.

"What?" asked Tea, speaking for everyone.

"I dontknowhowtoturnitoff," Kaiba said again, his head now successfully covered by the top of his blue trench coat.

"What? Speak up now, Kaiba, and be sure to pronounce every word real clear," said Joey, clearly loving

Kaiba's admittance of not knowing something.

"Clearly, you moron! And no, I don't know how to control the temperature in the elevator. I'm usually not in the elevator long enough to know how to adjust the temperature! And I wouldn't be in this elevator that long now if it weren't for you!" Kaiba snarled, pulling his coat off of his head. "I thought I couldn't stand you when I only had to put up with you for ten minutes! Now you're driving me insane!!"

Joey jumped up— well, would have, except for the no room thing, and that his joints were freezing— and shook his finger at Kaiba. "And I'm sicka your insults! Put your fists where your words are!" he demanded, now shaking his fist at Kaiba.

"With pleasure," replied Kaiba, grinning cruelly and getting to his feet.

Everyone between Joey and Kaiba attempted to form a barrier between the two, which was no easy job. It seemed to Yugi that they were really trying to kill each other this time [and they weren't before?]. Joey managed to squeeze past Tea and Tristan and swung a fist at Kaiba. Instead of blocking the fist and perhaps twisting Joey's wrist, Kaiba ducked…

[I'd like to take this time to go over Newton's laws of motion. There are three:

1st Law: An object at rest or an object in motion will retain its velocity unless acted upon by an outside force.

2nd Law: Force=mass x acceleration.

3rd Law: For every action force, there is an equal and opposite reaction force.

Keep these in mind for what will come next.]

…and, due to Newton's first law, Joey's fist smashed into the control panel.

The lights promptly went out in the elevator, and Mai, Tea, and Tristan shrieked simultaneously. The elevator jerked, and everyone screamed. Joey fell on top of Kaiba, who roughly shoved him off in the dark. Everyone moved around frantically, bumped into several other people, and there was a wild fight in the elevator.

"Get off me!"

"Aaaiiieeeghhh!"

"You're on my foot!"

"Aaaiiieeeghhh!"

"Who just bumped me?!"

"Aaaiiieeeghhh!"

"Yami?! Where are you?!"

"Aaaiiieeeghhh!"

"Yugi!"

"Aaaiiieeeghhh!"

"Bakura? Is that you?"

"Aaaiiieeeghhh!"

"SHUT UP, TRISTAN!"

The noise of people crashing into each other and trying to stand up and straighten things out occupied the elevator. Kaiba shoved someone off of his leg ("Hey!") and fumbled his way to the smashed control panel. He squinted, putting his face centimeters from it, but could see nothing in the black darkness. He groped around, pulling, pushing, and flipping anything he could find.

One of the lights in the elevator suddenly flickered on as Kaiba flipped what was obviously an emergency switch. Everyone sorted themselves out ("GET OFF OF MY LAP, YOU PERVERT!" "RYOU?!?!" "GET OFFA ME!") and Kaiba glared at Joey as he had never glared before.

"First you get us stuck in here by jamming the buttons. Then you smash the control panel, and nearly get me killed!" he fumed, shaking in rage. Wearily but naturally, everyone shifted into the position to block the two. Kaiba lowered himself and faced the corner, trying to control his anger [for once].

Silence resumed…until the click of the air conditioner turned on and everyone sighed and bundled up again as the temperature plummeted. Things resumed to normal— well, as normal as can be when you're stuck in an elevator, only one light works, and the air conditioner has gone cold-air-happy.

Suddenly, a loud, obnoxious sound filled the elevator, accompanied by a harsh, nasty smell. "EWWW!" everyone intoned as Ryou blushed madly. "Sorry, guys," he mumbled just as he happened to fart again.

"Oh man, that's nasty," groaned Tristan, covering up his nose and mouth and trying to inch away from his friend.

"Shouldn't have had those beans for lunch, I guess," he apologized, his face burning red. He glanced at Bakura, who glared back with a face of disgust. "I said I was sorry!"

The smell quickly invaded the entire elevator. None could escape it. Everyone covered their mouths and noses and tried to not breathe, to no avail.

"Man, Ryou, those must have been some beans!" added Joey disgustedly.

"Guys…" Mai whispered, wheezing and clutching her stomach.

"They were quite good, actually…but perhaps they were a little old…"

"Guys!" Mai huffed.

"What is it?" Joey asked.

"I'm gonna— I'm gonna— " She leaned forward as if to barf as everyone screamed "NOOO!" at the same time they backed away.

Mai groaned and clutched her stomach. Everyone leaned forward in relief, but jumped back again in horror as she leaned forward again.

"I swear," huffed Kaiba, "if you do, I'll rip you apart."

"And I'll help," added Bakura darkly. ("And then I'll rip him apart.")

Mai leaned against the wall and groaned, but not even Tea was brave enough to help. "Uh…I'm sure the air conditioner will fix the smell right away!" she assured, edging away from Mai.

Ryou's gut eventually settled down, and Mai never did throw up, and the air conditioner never did shut off, and the light never did stop flickering occasionally, and the elevator never did move. But the silence did return…eventually.

But many things don't last long, and silence, especially coming from Joey, is one of those things.

"Hey, Kaiba," he began.

Everyone sighed. Kaiba said nothing and did not look up.

"When you broke the phone and severed our tie to all communications," he paused for dramatic effect, "you were arguin' with Mokuba."

Several people looked up, interested. Everyone had wondered what the Kaiba brothers had been arguing about.

"What were you two fightin' about?" Joey questioned, his eyes gleaming.

"That's not your concern, mangy cur," spat Kaiba.

Joey growled in anger, but managed to control himself [what a surprise!].

"What were you arguing about?" inquired Mai. "Sounded like World War III!"

" I said that's none of your business!" snapped Kaiba.

"Come on, Kaiba. That's what made you get us stuck in here," argued Yami. "Tell us."

"No! I'll never tell!" snarled Kaiba, panting.

"Spit it out, you jerk!" demanded Tristan.

"No! Leave me alone!" insisted Kaiba, but no one did. Everyone in the elevator continued to pester him about the phone call and argument with Mokuba. Finally, Kaiba could take no more.

"IT WAS ABOUT A @($&%^%!# DATING SERVICE, OKAY?!" he exploded. "MOKUBA WANTS ME TO GET A GIRLFRIEND! ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW THAT YOU'VE INVADED MY PERSONAL LIFE?!" he screamed, leaping to his feet. He stood panting, glaring at everyone with wild eyes.

"I don't know about a girlfriend, but he sure needs to get a life," stated Mai, eyes wide open in surprise. A murmur of agreement sounded as Joey and Tristan wheezed with laughter. Kaiba sat back down in his corner and began to cry quietly. Yami and Yugi exchanged wide-eyed glances.

…And the elevator didn't move.

Author's Note: Sorry this chapter is kind of (okay, really) late, I had lots to do. People may seem a little out of character, but I think it's safe to say you'd act different after several hours in an elevator.

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